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Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Friday, Sept. 6, 8:08 PM EST

Arc added Max Thunderman to the chat.

Max: i’m back dickwads

Phoebe: ARC WHY

Arc: IM SORRY I HAD NO CHOICE

Arc: HE KEPT SENDING ME VAGUELY UNSETTLING PICTURES OF DANNY DEVITO

Arc: DANNY DEVITO FREAKS ME OUT

Max: you really thought you could get rid of me that easily? you all are fools for underestimating me. i don’t play games. i know things about you that you don’t even know about yourselves. i know your darkest secrets. your deepest fears. your truest desires. i know exactly how to hurt you.

Jasper: Dude you’ve known us for like a day

Max: Link: Youtube - “Titanic, Jack’s Death Scene”

Jasper: WHAT THE FUCK MAN

Jasper: WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THIS

Max: friendly reminder that i could destroy all of you in an instant!

Jasper: FUCK THIS IS SO SAD

Jasper: I HATE THIS SCENE SO MUCH

Jasper: GODDAMMIT THERE WAS ROOM FOR TWO ON THAT DOOR

Henry: how the fuck did u know--

Charlotte: Anyone else vaguely terrified of Max right now?

Warwick: Me

Prudence: Me too

Arc: yup

Jasper: DEFINITELY

Max: as it should be

Henry: ok but wait

Henry: can we go back to arc being scared of danny devito

Henry: hes like a 4 foot tall old man dude im p sure hes harmless

Arc: HE’S C R E E P Y

Arc: EVER SINCE HE PLAYED THAT WEIRD CAR SALESMAN/BITCHASS DAD IN MATILDA I’VE BEEN TERRIFIED OF HIM

Arc: I SAW THE COMMERCIAL HE DID AND I HAVEN’T EATEN A RED M&M SINCE

Ciara: you can take on ryker and his whole army but you’re scared of danny devito

Arc: IT’S A VALID FEAR CIARA

Arc: *Read that in Warwick’s voice

Warwick: That’s copyright infringement

Phoebe: That’s not how that works.

Max: okay but yknow what i just realized

Max: you guys are all sophomores except me and phoebe

Max: you’re all...so small

Henry: ur only a year older than us

Max: b a b i e s…

Max: i feel so old

Max: is this what it’s like to be phoebe?

Phoebe: Max I will come down to your lair and shave your head and then you’ll really know what it feels like to be old and balding.

Max: eXCUSE YOU i will have PERFECT HAIR until the day that i die

Phoebe: Take a look at Dad.

Max: ...shit

Prudence: Hang on hang on

Prudence: You have a lair????

Max: yeah i used to be a supervillain

Max: lair kinda comes with the gig

Jasper: You used to be a WHAT

Charlotte: Honestly? Unsurprising.

Max: thank you

Charlotte: That was not a compliment

Ciara: wait you were a supervillain? why?

Max: because they have better outfits

Max: next question

Henry: what was the worst thing u did as a villain

Charlotte: Why did you switch sides?

Max: when i said next question i was joking

Max: i refuse to be interrogated by children

Henry: u are older by o n e (1) year

Max: I N F A N T S

Charlotte: @Phoebe how do you live with him?

Phoebe: It’s a hard knock life.


 Phoebe Thunderman ➜ Thing 2

Friday, Sept. 6, 8:26 PM EST

Phoebe: Are you god?

Phoebe: *Good

Phoebe: I meant good.

Max: why thank you i have indeed been told that i resemble a heavenly deity

Phoebe: Max

Max: wdym

Phoebe: I don’t know, I just know you get weird whenever we talk about it, especially with other people. And you and I both know what you said in that chat isn’t true.

Phoebe: And I get why, but…

Max: if you say “this is a safe space” i stg i will hit you with my brain melt

Phoebe: Fine.

Max: and you don’t have to say “it”

Max: i was a villain, call it what it is

Max: i just didn’t want to spill my life story to a bunch of random sophomores k?

Max: even if they seem pretty decent

Phoebe: Okay, got it. I just wanted to check if you were okay.

Max: yes, mom, i’m fine

Max: but

Max: thank you

Phoebe: Yeah, of course. <3

Max: ew

Phoebe: Shut up.


Group Chat: The Man Fam

Friday, Sept. 6, 8:30 PM EST

Ray: R u guys on ur way

Henry: ye

Ray: Did u get popcorn

Henry: Sent an image

Ray: NICE

Henry: its the good kush

Charlotte: It’s the dollar store how good can it be.

Jasper: What r we watching?

Henry: ray pls dont say buggy cops again

Ray: ITS THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME

Ray: INSECTS RIDING AROUND IN VOLKSWAGEN BEETLES AND FIGHTING CRIME

Ray: COMEDY GOLD

Charlotte: Why can’t we ever watch a quality movie?

Henry: like shrek 4

Charlotte: Or an Actual quality movie.

Henry: l i k e s h r e k 4

Schwoz: i would like to watch A Gingerbread Christmas!

Jasper: Isnt that one of those cheesy hallmark movies that Henrys dad cries when he watches

Henry: yep

Henry: schwoz its not even christmas season

Schwoz: oh ya don’t listen to me

Schwoz: no one ever cares what schwoz wants to watch

Ray: we’re not watching a gingerbread christmas

Ray: stop being a baby

Charlotte: Well we aren’t watching Buggy Cop again either.

Ray: NO FAIR

Ray: ITS MY MAN CAVE WE WATCH MY MOVIE

Henry: fine then char jasper schwoz and i will just watch a movie at my house

Ray: DONT U DARE >:(

Henry: oh we dare

Ray: FINE WE’LL WATCH SHREK 4

Henry: YES

Charlotte: NO

Henry: well whats ur suggestion then

Charlotte: Hmmm

Charlotte: Indiana Jones.

Henry: oh wait

Henry: thats actually good

Charlotte: Yeah no shit.

Charlotte: I have taste.

Jasper: I love those movies!

Schwoz: i like that choice also

Ray: Still not as good as buggy cop

Ray: But fine

Ray: Indiana Jones it is