Sunday, Sept. 28, 12:02 PM EST
Piper Hart added Henry Hart to the chat.
Piper Hart added Charlotte Page-Bolton to the chat.
Piper Hart added Jasper Dunlop to the chat.
Piper Hart renamed the chat: what the fuck, guys
Piper: *quiet music*
Piper: so was no one going to tell me that my BROTHER is KID DANGER
Piper: or was i just supposed to climb into the hood of a car and crawl through a bunch of tubes and fall into the mancave myself???
Henry: neither wouldve been preferable
Charlotte: Also, language.
Charlotte Page-Bolton renamed the chat: what the heck, guys
Piper: i cannot believe that BOTH OF YOU KNEW
Piper: and DIDN’T TELL ME
Piper: your own SISTER
Henry: youve told me on multiple occasions to never acknowledge that we’re related to each other
Piper: that seems irrelevant
Henry: its really not
Charlotte: I figured it out, by the way.
Charlotte: So technically he didn’t tell me.
Jasper: And as for me
Piper: i know what happened you told me on the way home
Jasper: Didn’t I tell the girl you hired to follow me
Piper: whatever i’m gonna guess it had something to do with you and my brother having a weird misunderstanding and then ray trying to erase your memory like he tried with me and then hen accidentally revealing how gay he is for you
Piper: i didn’t say anything :)
Jasper: This is literally a text conversation
Jasper: Like its right there
Jasper: I can see it
Henry: piper is there a point to all this
Henry: or did u just wanna whine about being left out
Piper: i also wanted to tell kid danger to fuck off
Henry: we live in the same house you can do that in person
Henry: update: she did it in person
Piper: i want updates
Charlotte: Like what kind of updates?
Piper: like. all kinds of updates. stuff you guys do when fighting bad guys that they don’t tell us on the news.
Henry: yeah sure ms. “i’m verified on twitter and could blow ur cover to half the world in seconds”
Piper: i’m not stupid i’m not gonna do that
Henry: i have doubts abt both those things
Henry: love u tooo
Henry: but im not sending u any updates
Henry: ur not on the team
Piper: i could be!
Charlotte: Sorry, Piper, Henry’s right.
Charlotte: The stuff we get into can get pretty crazy.
Piper: you were younger than me when you first started
Henry: that was different
Piper: why? because im a girl?
Henry: no, dumbass, bc youre my little sister
Henry: so you dont want to get involved in this shit
Henry: ur not even in hs yet just enjoy yourself
Charlotte: We’ll keep you in the loop, okay?
Charlotte: But let us handle the crime-fighting stuff.
Piper: girl code?
Charlotte: Nope, sorry.
Ciara ➜ flower boi
Monday, Sept. 30, 9:52 AM EST
Ciara: hey, are you made of copper and tellurium?
Ciara: because you’re CuTe!
Ciara: damn henry i really thought we had chemistry
Henry: I GET IT
Henry: ELEMENTAL SYMBOLS
Ciara: oh my god you’re a dumbass
Ciara: oh my god wait
Ciara: do i have a type?
Ciara: is this how the rest of my life is destined to be?
wait what a type
Henry: i KNEW IT
Henry: I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON WITH YOU AND ARC
Ciara: um what the heck are you talking about there is NOTHING between me and arc we’re strictly friends
Henry: yeah okay sure
Henry: “friends” who give each other stupid pining looks at lunch when they think no one else can see
Henry: well hey guess what i can see!
Henry: so you’ve got a thing for dumb blondes, then?
Henry: tHIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS SDHGFKJS
Ciara: but i DON’T like arc! that would be weird and gross and n o
Henry: alright sure
Henry: keep telling yourself that
Ciara: i will!
Ciara: because it’s the truth!
Ciara: stfu henry!
Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance
Monday, Sept. 30, 7:31 PM EST
Warwick: Opinions on pineapple on pizza go
Warwick: I need to know who i can trust here
Prudence: No, anything is good on pizza!
Max: you’re wrong
Prudence: I’m pretty sure it’s an opinion
Max: your opinion is wrong
Charlotte: That’s not how that works.
Charlotte: But okay I have to agree with Max here pineapple on pizza is gross.
Ciara: are you kidding me it’s so good????
Sage: fucking HEATHENS
Sage: it’s the WORST
Arc: I dont like pineapple in general
Arc: Well I like the taste but I dont like that it makes ur tongue feel all weird?
Arc: You know when like u eat pineapple and then ur mouth gets kinda swollen and your throat tingles
Warwick: Arc...buddy...my m a n
Warwick: That sounds like youre just. Allergic to pineapple
Arc: You know that actually explains a lot
Ciara: shgdfjlsdfh arc why are u like this
Henry: ive only had it once and it wasnt like awful?? but it wasnt good either??? like not the worst experience ive ever had but i wouldnt do it again
Max: like going to juvy
Phoebe: I like it!
Max: see proof that it’s the wrong opinion
Phoebe: How is that proof.
Max: all of your opinions are wrong
Buttercup: I think it tastes really good!
Sage: i feel like i’ve been stabbed in the back
Sage: how could you do this to me
Sage: my own girlfriend
Buttercup: :(( Sorry! I promise I love you more than I love pineapple on pizza!
Sage: fuck stop making me soft sdjhksdf
Sage: that’s not allowed
Max: uh guys could you like...please keep the homosexuality on this chat to a minimum.
Max: like i’m not a homophobe or anything but…
Max: this is God’s House and i would prefer that you didn’t spread your sins here.
Henry: wait u guys are gay?
Henry: what the fuck...okay im sorry i dont think i can talk to u anymore
Henry: i dont want to catch whatever you guys have yknow :/
Arc: uhhhh gay people? pls DNI.
Ciara: Yikes...the HomosexualsTM really have invaded all of our spaces
Ciara: are we no longer safe even among our own friends?
Ciara: in our own group chats?
Prudence: This is heterophobia.
Sage: i fucking hate all of you
Warwick: OKAY SO after a careful examination of the data presented here are the conclusions i’ve drawn:
Warwick: Max, Sage, Charlotte, and Arc—you’re the real ones
Arc: Hell yeah
Warwick: Henry u can stay but you’re on thin fucking ice
Warwick: The rest of u are FAKE
Warwick: How does it feel to realize that every life choice youve made up until this moment is wrong?
Warwick: You cant run from your sins anymore
Warwick: This is your judgement day
Warwick: This is your reckoning.
Jasper: Pineapple pizza is good but only if there’s mayonaise too!
Henry: WHAT THE FUCK JASPER
Warwick removed Jasper Dunlop from the chat.