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the gay superhero alliance

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Sunday, Sept. 28, 12:02 PM EST

Piper Hart added Henry Hart to the chat.

Piper Hart added Charlotte Page-Bolton to the chat.

Piper Hart added Jasper Dunlop to the chat.

Piper Hart renamed the chat: what the fuck, guys

Piper: *quiet music*

Piper: so was no one going to tell me that my BROTHER is KID DANGER

Piper: or was i just supposed to climb into the hood of a car and crawl through a bunch of tubes and fall into the mancave myself???

Henry: neither wouldve been preferable

Charlotte: Also, language.

Charlotte Page-Bolton renamed the chat: what the heck, guys

Piper: i cannot believe that BOTH OF YOU KNEW

Piper: and DIDN’T TELL ME

Piper: your own SISTER

Henry: youve told me on multiple occasions to never acknowledge that we’re related to each other

Piper: that seems irrelevant

Henry: its really not

Charlotte: I figured it out, by the way.

Charlotte: So technically he didn’t tell me.

Jasper: And as for me

Piper: i know what happened you told me on the way home

Jasper: Didn’t I tell the girl you hired to follow me

Piper: whatever i’m gonna guess it had something to do with you and my brother having a weird misunderstanding and then ray trying to erase your memory like he tried with me and then hen accidentally revealing how gay he is for you

Henry: what

Jasper: What?

Piper: i didn’t say anything :)

Jasper: This is literally a text conversation 

Jasper: Like its right there

Jasper: I can see it

Henry: henrywayyyyy

Henry: piper is there a point to all this

Henry: or did u just wanna whine about being left out

Piper: i also wanted to tell kid danger to fuck off 

Henry: we live in the same house you can do that in person

Henry: update: she did it in person

Piper: ALSO

Piper: i want updates

Charlotte: Like what kind of updates?

Piper: like. all kinds of updates. stuff you guys do when fighting bad guys that they don’t tell us on the news.

Henry: yeah sure ms. “i’m verified on twitter and could blow ur cover to half the world in seconds”

Piper: i’m not stupid i’m not gonna do that

Henry: i have doubts abt both those things

Piper: asshole

Henry: love u tooo

Henry: but im not sending u any updates

Henry: ur not on the team

Piper: i could be!

Henry: nope

Piper: charrrrr

Charlotte: Sorry, Piper, Henry’s right.

Charlotte: The stuff we get into can get pretty crazy.

Piper: you were younger than me when you first started

Henry: that was different

Piper: why? because im a girl?

Henry: no, dumbass, bc youre my little sister

Piper: so?

Henry: so you dont want to get involved in this shit

Henry: ur not even in hs yet just enjoy yourself

Charlotte: We’ll keep you in the loop, okay?

Charlotte: But let us handle the crime-fighting stuff.

Piper: fine.

Piper: wait

Piper: girl code?

Charlotte: Nope, sorry.

Piper: dammit

Ciara ➜ flower boi

Monday, Sept. 30, 9:52 AM EST

Ciara: hey, are you made of copper and tellurium?

Henry: what

Ciara: because you’re CuTe!

Henry: what

Ciara: damn henry i really thought we had chemistry

Henry: what

Henry: oH 

Henry: I GET IT


Ciara: oh my god you’re a dumbass

Ciara: oh my god wait

Ciara: fuck

Ciara: do i have a type?

Ciara: is this how the rest of my life is destined to be?

Henry: wait what a type
Henry: i KNEW IT


Ciara: um what the heck are you talking about there is NOTHING between me and arc we’re strictly friends

Henry: yeah okay sure

Henry: “friends”

Henry: “friends” who give each other stupid pining looks at lunch when they think no one else can see 

Henry: well hey guess what i can see!

Henry: so you’ve got a thing for dumb blondes, then?

Ciara: NO

Ciara: MAYBE

Ciara: FUCK


Ciara: but i DON’T like arc! that would be weird and gross and n o

Henry: alright sure

Henry: keep telling yourself that

Ciara: i will!

Ciara: because it’s the truth!

Henry: sure

Ciara: stfu henry!

Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Monday, Sept. 30, 7:31 PM EST

Warwick: Opinions on pineapple on pizza go

Warwick: I need to know who i can trust here

Max: disgusting

Prudence: No, anything is good on pizza!

Max: you’re wrong

Prudence: I’m pretty sure it’s an opinion

Max: your opinion is wrong

Charlotte: That’s not how that works.

Charlotte: But okay I have to agree with Max here pineapple on pizza is gross.

Ciara: are you kidding me it’s so good????

Sage: fucking HEATHENS

Sage: it’s the WORST

Arc: I dont like pineapple in general

Arc: Well I like the taste but I dont like that it makes ur tongue feel all weird?

Ciara: wdym?

Arc: You know when like u eat pineapple and then ur mouth gets kinda swollen and your throat tingles

Warwick: m a n 

Warwick: That sounds like youre just. Allergic to pineapple

Arc: You know that actually explains a lot

Ciara: shgdfjlsdfh arc why are u like this

Henry: ive only had it once and it wasnt like awful?? but it wasnt good either??? like not the worst experience ive ever had but i wouldnt do it again

Max: like going to juvy

Charlotte: What?

Max: what

Phoebe: I like it!

Max: see proof that it’s the wrong opinion

Phoebe: How is that proof.

Max: all of your opinions are wrong

Buttercup: I think it tastes really good!

Sage: i feel like i’ve been stabbed in the back

Sage: how could you do this to me

Sage: my own girlfriend

Buttercup: :(( Sorry! I promise I love you more than I love pineapple on pizza!

Sage: fuck stop making me soft sdjhksdf

Sage: that’s not allowed

Max: uh guys could you like...please keep the homosexuality on this chat to a minimum.

Max: like i’m not a homophobe or anything but…

Max: this is God’s House and i would prefer that you didn’t spread your sins here.

Henry: wait u guys are gay?

Henry: what the fuck...okay im sorry i dont think i can talk to u anymore

Henry: i dont want to catch whatever you guys have yknow :/

Arc: uhhhh gay people? pls DNI. 

Ciara: Yikes...the HomosexualsTM really have invaded all of our spaces

Ciara: are we no longer safe even among our own friends?

Ciara: in our own group chats?

Prudence: This is heterophobia.

Sage: i fucking hate all of you

Warwick: OKAY SO after a careful examination of the data presented here are the conclusions i’ve drawn:

Warwick: Max, Sage, Charlotte, and Arc—you’re the real ones

Arc: Hell yeah

Warwick: Henry u can stay but you’re on thin fucking ice

Warwick: The rest of u are FAKE

Warwick: How does it feel to realize that every life choice youve made up until this moment is wrong?

Warwick: You cant run from your sins anymore

Warwick: This is your judgement day

Warwick: This is your reckoning.

Jasper: Pineapple pizza is good but only if there’s mayonaise too!


Warwick removed Jasper Dunlop from the chat.