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the gay superhero alliance

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Friday, Sept. 6, 6:03 PM EST

Phoebe Thunderman has added Max Thunderman to the conversation.

Phoebe Thunderman has added Henry Hart to the conversation.

Phoebe Thunderman has added Charlotte Page-Bolton to the conversation.

Phoebe Thunderman has added Jasper Dunlop to the conversation.

Phoebe Thunderman has added Ciara to the conversation.

Phoebe Thunderman has added Arc to the conversation.

Phoebe Thunderman has added Prudence to the conversation.

Phoebe Thunderman has added Warwick to the conversation.

Phoebe Thunderman renamed the chat: Swellview HS GSA

Phoebe: Hey everyone! It’s Phoebe, I hope you remember me from the GSA meeting we had after school yesterday. I thought it would be a good idea for us to have a place where we could chat, ask questions, and plan meetings!

Jasper: HELLO FELLOW QUEERS

Jasper: Its Jasper btw

Jasper: Dunlop

Ciara: hey!!

Henry: whats up fuckers 

Charlotte: Watch your language, Kid Stupid

Henry: What, pray tell, are all of you fucking fuckers doing as of this current moment?

Charlotte: Not what I meant but still better than your English paper

Henry: RUDE

Phoebe: Okay so everyone please send your names, grade, pronouns, sexuality, and any cool facts about yourself!

Phoebe: I’m Phoebe obviously, I’m a junior, my pronouns are she/her and I’m pan, and I have photographic memory!

Max: what’s up, i’m max, i’m 17 and i never fucking learned how to read

Phoebe: Max

Max: technically it’s kind of true

Ciara: wdym?

Max: Link: Youtube - “Bella Thorne, The Time I Found Out I Have Dyslexia”

Ciara: ohhhhh

Max: but i’m he/him, bi, a junior, and clearly the superior twin

Henry: wait you and phoebe are twins

Henry: i thought she was older

Phoebe: I am not older!!!!! We are in the same grade how would that even happen??? We’re twins!!!!!!

Charlotte: Please excuse Henry’s dumbassery

Max: phoebe is just sensitive bc she looks like an old lady

Phoebe: I do not!

Jasper: Whats up I’m Jasper! He/him/they/them, pan, trans, sophomore, and I collect buckets!

Max: you what

Charlotte: I’m Charlotte, she/her, demi, sophomore, and my after school job is making sure Henry doesn’t die at his after school job

Henry: hey im henry, bi boy, sophomore, and my after school job is moonlighting as a suave butt-kicking superhero

Charlotte: *Sidekick

Henry: **fuck you

Henry: also i am single in case anyone was wondering ;)

Charlotte: No one was wondering.

Charlotte: I think they inferred it from your general disposition.

Henry: dont use words i dont understand against me its mean >:(

Arc: HEY THIS IS COOL

Arc: I’M ARC I’M YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BI SOPHOMORE BOY ALSO I LIKE STABBING STUFF WITH SWORDS

Charlotte: Oh wait you’re Henry’s twin from the meeting yesterday right?

Arc: Who’s Henry?

Henry: me

Arc: Helpful

Ciara: hi, i'm ciara, she/her, sophomore and bi as hell! also i can shoot a bow and arrow with my feet

Henry: woah sick

Warwick: Wait what is this

Warwick: Where am I

Arc: WARWICK

Arc: MY MAN

Arc: MY BUDDY

Arc: THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Arc: You’re in the gays group chat

Warwick: Oh nice

Warwick: I’m Warwick! I’m panromantic ace, sophomore boy, and I can do magic

Jasper: You can do WHAT

Warwick: Like spells and stuff! It’s pretty cool, if I do say so myself

Ciara: you do

Ciara: frequently

Henry: thats not the craziest thing ive ever heard but its def up there

Phoebe: How is that not the craziest thing you’ve ever heard?

Henry: once char got stuck in a vacuum cleaner

Henry: also another time a supervillain made my boss fall in love with her with a magic muffin

Henry: and then made me fall in love with jasper

Charlotte: Right, that was the muffin.

Henry: LITERALLY SQUARE UP RIGHT NOW CHARLOTTE

Max: i have a pet talking rabbit and his estranged son who is also a talking rabbit

Jasper: You have a WHAT

Prudence: I’m a half-giant!

Prudence: Sorry thought I’d throw something in the mix there.

Prudence: Hi I’m Prudy! I’m a trans girl (she/her) and straight! Also I’m a sophomore.

Jasper: Why is everyone here so awesome omg all I do is collect buckets

Prudence: WAIT you collect buckets??? That’s so cool!!!

Jasper: :0

Jasper: Hen I’m sorry but you’ve been replaced

Jasper: Prudy is my best friend now

Prudence: :D !!!!!!!!!!!

Ciara: wait--

Henry: wHAT

Henry: hOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? AFTER EVERYTHING WE’VE BEEN THROUGH? 

Henry: Link: Youtube - “Someone Like You by Adele”

Jasper: FU--

Jasper: HENRY THIS IS A RICKROLL

Henry: well im never gonna give you up ;)

Charlotte: Get! A! Room!

Henry: ooh someones jealous

Charlotte: I know you can’t spell but it’s *disgusted.

Ciara: in any case Prudy is mY best friend get ur own Jasper

Ciara: you can have Arc i don’t want him

Arc: rIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD????

Ciara: whoever introduced Arc to vine is going to get an arrow through their head one of these days

Arc: RIP VINE, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, DIED TOO YOUNG

Arc: tHE WORLD WASN’T READY FOR YOU YET

Warwick: The eulogy’s abt 2 years too late buddy

Max: what is this chat actually for again

Phoebe: It’s right in the name Max. This is the GSA group chat, so we can talk about the club and plan meetings and stuff. Does Thursday after school still work for everyone?

Arc: yeet

Jasper: Yup!

Charlotte: Thursday’s good!

Max: wait what does gsa stand for 

Phoebe: Did you even pay attention at the meeting yesterday?

Max: i have never once paid attention to anything ever in my entire life

Phoebe: I know this, and I despise you.

Phoebe: It stands for Gay Straight Alliance.

Max: oh i thought it was gay superhero alliance

Max: because rn that’s what it is

Arc: Technically we’re not superheroes, we’re knights

Jasper: Neither are me and Char, we just work with them

Max: okay whatever “technically” knights save people = superheroes and we’re all gay and have some connection to the super world so idc

Max: it’s the gay superhero alliance now

Henry: thats hella valid

Ciara: not gonna lie i kinda love it!!

Max: but i think we all know what this should really be called

Max Thunderman renamed the chat: big gay orgy

Phoebe: MAX

Phoebe Thunderman renamed the chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Phoebe Thunderman removed Max Thunderman from the chat.


 

Max Thunderman ➜ wombmate

Max: add me back you bitch.

✔️ Read 6:54 PM EST

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Friday, Sept. 6, 8:08 PM EST

Arc added Max Thunderman to the chat.

Max: i’m back dickwads

Phoebe: ARC WHY

Arc: IM SORRY I HAD NO CHOICE

Arc: HE KEPT SENDING ME VAGUELY UNSETTLING PICTURES OF DANNY DEVITO

Arc: DANNY DEVITO FREAKS ME OUT

Max: you really thought you could get rid of me that easily? you all are fools for underestimating me. i don’t play games. i know things about you that you don’t even know about yourselves. i know your darkest secrets. your deepest fears. your truest desires. i know exactly how to hurt you.

Jasper: Dude you’ve known us for like a day

Max: Link: Youtube - “Titanic, Jack’s Death Scene”

Jasper: WHAT THE FUCK MAN

Jasper: WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THIS

Max: friendly reminder that i could destroy all of you in an instant!

Jasper: FUCK THIS IS SO SAD

Jasper: I HATE THIS SCENE SO MUCH

Jasper: GODDAMMIT THERE WAS ROOM FOR TWO ON THAT DOOR

Henry: how the fuck did u know--

Charlotte: Anyone else vaguely terrified of Max right now?

Warwick: Me

Prudence: Me too

Arc: yup

Jasper: DEFINITELY

Max: as it should be

Henry: ok but wait

Henry: can we go back to arc being scared of danny devito

Henry: hes like a 4 foot tall old man dude im p sure hes harmless

Arc: HE’S C R E E P Y

Arc: EVER SINCE HE PLAYED THAT WEIRD CAR SALESMAN/BITCHASS DAD IN MATILDA I’VE BEEN TERRIFIED OF HIM

Arc: I SAW THE COMMERCIAL HE DID AND I HAVEN’T EATEN A RED M&M SINCE

Ciara: you can take on ryker and his whole army but you’re scared of danny devito

Arc: IT’S A VALID FEAR CIARA

Arc: *Read that in Warwick’s voice

Warwick: That’s copyright infringement

Phoebe: That’s not how that works.

Max: okay but yknow what i just realized

Max: you guys are all sophomores except me and phoebe

Max: you’re all...so small

Henry: ur only a year older than us

Max: b a b i e s…

Max: i feel so old

Max: is this what it’s like to be phoebe?

Phoebe: Max I will come down to your lair and shave your head and then you’ll really know what it feels like to be old and balding.

Max: eXCUSE YOU i will have PERFECT HAIR until the day that i die

Phoebe: Take a look at Dad.

Max: ...shit

Prudence: Hang on hang on

Prudence: You have a lair????

Max: yeah i used to be a supervillain

Max: lair kinda comes with the gig

Jasper: You used to be a WHAT

Charlotte: Honestly? Unsurprising.

Max: thank you

Charlotte: That was not a compliment

Ciara: wait you were a supervillain? why?

Max: because they have better outfits

Max: next question

Henry: what was the worst thing u did as a villain

Charlotte: Why did you switch sides?

Max: when i said next question i was joking

Max: i refuse to be interrogated by children

Henry: u are older by o n e (1) year

Max: I N F A N T S

Charlotte: @Phoebe how do you live with him?

Phoebe: It’s a hard knock life.


 Phoebe Thunderman ➜ Thing 2

Friday, Sept. 6, 8:26 PM EST

Phoebe: Are you god?

Phoebe: *Good

Phoebe: I meant good.

Max: why thank you i have indeed been told that i resemble a heavenly deity

Phoebe: Max

Max: wdym

Phoebe: I don’t know, I just know you get weird whenever we talk about it, especially with other people. And you and I both know what you said in that chat isn’t true.

Phoebe: And I get why, but…

Max: if you say “this is a safe space” i stg i will hit you with my brain melt

Phoebe: Fine.

Max: and you don’t have to say “it”

Max: i was a villain, call it what it is

Max: i just didn’t want to spill my life story to a bunch of random sophomores k?

Max: even if they seem pretty decent

Phoebe: Okay, got it. I just wanted to check if you were okay.

Max: yes, mom, i’m fine

Max: but

Max: thank you

Phoebe: Yeah, of course. <3

Max: ew

Phoebe: Shut up.


Group Chat: The Man Fam

Friday, Sept. 6, 8:30 PM EST

Ray: R u guys on ur way

Henry: ye

Ray: Did u get popcorn

Henry: Sent an image

Ray: NICE

Henry: its the good kush

Charlotte: It’s the dollar store how good can it be.

Jasper: What r we watching?

Henry: ray pls dont say buggy cops again

Ray: ITS THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME

Ray: INSECTS RIDING AROUND IN VOLKSWAGEN BEETLES AND FIGHTING CRIME

Ray: COMEDY GOLD

Charlotte: Why can’t we ever watch a quality movie?

Henry: like shrek 4

Charlotte: Or an Actual quality movie.

Henry: l i k e s h r e k 4

Schwoz: i would like to watch A Gingerbread Christmas!

Jasper: Isnt that one of those cheesy hallmark movies that Henrys dad cries when he watches

Henry: yep

Henry: schwoz its not even christmas season

Schwoz: oh ya don’t listen to me

Schwoz: no one ever cares what schwoz wants to watch

Ray: we’re not watching a gingerbread christmas

Ray: stop being a baby

Charlotte: Well we aren’t watching Buggy Cop again either.

Ray: NO FAIR

Ray: ITS MY MAN CAVE WE WATCH MY MOVIE

Henry: fine then char jasper schwoz and i will just watch a movie at my house

Ray: DONT U DARE >:(

Henry: oh we dare

Ray: FINE WE’LL WATCH SHREK 4

Henry: YES

Charlotte: NO

Henry: well whats ur suggestion then

Charlotte: Hmmm

Charlotte: Indiana Jones.

Henry: oh wait

Henry: thats actually good

Charlotte: Yeah no shit.

Charlotte: I have taste.

Jasper: I love those movies!

Schwoz: i like that choice also

Ray: Still not as good as buggy cop

Ray: But fine

Ray: Indiana Jones it is

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Thundersiblings

Sunday, Sept. 8, 11:24 AM EST

Phoebe: BILLY, NORA

Phoebe: WHY IS THERE A KITTEN IN OUR SPICE CUPBOARD?

Nora: omg there’s a KITTEN?

Phoebe: Sent an image

Nora: IDK WHY IT’S THERE BUT I DEFINITELY WANT TO PET IT

Phoebe: Oh so you guys didn’t bring it into the house?

Billy: Wasn’t us!

Phoebe: Well who else would it be?

Nora: chloe maybe?

Max: shit

Phoebe: MAX????

Phoebe: WHY WOULD YOU BRING A KITTEN INTO OUR HOUSE?

Phoebe: YOU’RE ALLERGIC

Max: i didn’t!

Max: he just happened to

Max: sneak into my jacket on the way home yesterday

Nora: you’ve said on multiple occasions that quote “it can’t rain cats and dogs because they’re hellspawn that come from deep down below”

Max: this is true

Max: however in my defense

Max: his name is archie and i love him

Phoebe: Well you can’t keep him.

Max: give me one reason why

Phoebe: First of all, the last time you were around cats for too long your eyes got so swollen that you couldn’t see anything.

Max: already taken care of dear sister

Max: i’m working on an allergy med that’s a lot stronger than benadryl but won’t immediately make me pass out

Max: plus if it works i can take it daily without any side effects

Phoebe: You already forget to take your ADHD medication all the time, how are you going to remember another one?

Max: i’ll make a device or an app or something to remind me

Phoebe: Okay, fine, well, you already have a pet.

Max: dr. colosso is not a pet he’s a nuisance

Max: he’s like the creepy uncle who sleeps in my bedroom and keeps trying to convince me to “return to my former glory days of evil”

Billy: He has a point their

Phoebe: *There

Phoebe: But anyway he’s not vaccinated or trained.

Max: shots are done, and i can train him no problem. billy and nora will help, right?

Nora: heck yeah!

Billy: I would be honored.

Phoebe: Mom and Dad will never let you keep him.

Max: list of other things mom and dad didn’t “let” me do:

Max: 1) launch a rocket from my room

Max: 2) build an underground tunnel that leads to splatburger

Nora: wait when was this

Max: irrelevant

Max: 3) use my duplication ray to make copies of my most expensive pairs of shoes and sell them online

Phoebe: I’m sorry what??

Max: don’t worry i was still evil then

Max: 4) install a secret weapons vault under the garage

Phoebe: OKAY WE GET IT

Phoebe: YOU’VE DONE A LOT OF CRAZY THINGS WITHOUT PERMISSION

Max: believe me hiding a cat in my room will be a piece of cake

Max: billy, nora, keep your mouths shut and i’ll let you pet him whenever you want

Billy: Done!

Nora: soooo worth it

Phoebe: Well, it’s going to take a lot more than that to convince me, Max.

Max: pick him up

Phoebe: Okay fine, but unlike you, I don’t let my emotions get the better of me, because I have willpower.

Phoebe: OH MY GOD HIS PAWS ARE SO SMALL

Phoebe: MAX HE LICKED ME

Phoebe: HE’S STILL LICKING ME AHGJSKDFHJSH WHAT DO I DO HE’S REALLY CUTE

Phoebe: Okay fine.

Phoebe: If Mom and Dad ask, I knew nothing about this.


 

Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Sunday, Sept. 8, 12:18 PM EST

Max: Sent an image

Prudence: OH MY GOD

Prudence: IS THAT YOURS??

Max: yup

Ciara: hE’S ADORABLE

Max: ikr? his name is archie

Jasper: I would lay down my life for him in an instant

Henry: ive only had archie for 1 minute but if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

Charlotte: He’s!!!! What a good boy!!!!!!!!!!

Arc: Can I join the Protect Archie SquadTM

Ciara: me too

Warwick: Me three!!

Prudence: Me fourrrrrr

Max: good to know archie has so many gay superheroes looking out for him

Max: he will live long and prosper

Phoebe: Was that a Star Trek reference?

Max: ofc not i’m not a n e r d


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Sunday, Sept. 8, 6:55 PM EST

Henry: guys i just experienced the best moment of my life

Henry: this hot dude in the steak n shake bathroom just told me he “digs my fit”

Henry: this is it ive reached my peak

Jasper: DUDE NICE

Ciara: damn get it henryyy

Warwick: Did you get his number??

Henry: nah we only talked for like 2 mins

Henry: plus im p sure hes older

Henry: he didnt seem like he was hitting on me just being nice but i still feel like a god

Charlotte: Wow he digs your fit of jeans and the same three flannels alternated throughout the week?

Henry: actually for your information charlotte i was not wearing a flannel today

Henry: piper and i went to a movie before dinner and she said she refused to be seen with me if i dressed like i normally do

Henry: so she took me shopping

Henry: Sent an image.

Arc: okay damnnnn we see you!

Charlotte: Wow, Piper actually did a pretty good job.

Jasper: You look great!


Jasper Dunlop ➜ Char-mander

Sunday, Sept. 8, 7:03 PM EST

Jasper: FUCK HE’S HOT

Charlotte: I KNOW RIGHT


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Sunday, Sept. 8, 7:04 PM EST

Ciara: wow nice!

Ciara: i like the flowers on the jacket that’s a nice touch

Ciara: also pink is a good color on you

Max: k ngl i dig your fit too

Max: even if you are still...a toddler…

Henry: STOP

Max: a c h i l d…

Henry: okay but actual question

Henry: @bis and pans, are u guys flannel, hoodie, or leather jacket bi/pans

Henry: im flannel obv

Arc: def hoodie

Jasper: me too ^^

Ciara: ooh hard one

Ciara: i’m flannel tho

Phoebe: I’m a hoodie pan!

Max: leather jacket 110%

Warwick: Yeah I’ve seen you around school and tbh before I met you I thought you were the kind of person to beat me up and steal my bike

Max: oh no

Max: only BEFORE you met me??

Max: damn i gotta up my game

Max: i have a reputation to uphold

Warwick: Wait no pls don’t

Max: >:)

Phoebe: If you beat up Warwick or steal his bike I’ll tell Mom and Dad about Archie.

Max: >:(

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Phoenix Squad

Monday, Sept. 9, 10:32 AM EST

Arc: Guysss

Arc: Guyyyyyyssssssss

Arc: Guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyssssssssssssss

Arc: Guys

Arc: Guys

Arc: Gays

Arc: I meant *guys but still true

Arc: Gays

Arc: Gays

Arc: Gayyyyyyyyysssssssss

Ciara: ARC

Ciara: WHAT

Ciara: WE ARE LITERALLY IN CLASS RIGHT NOW

Arc: I’m boreeedddddddd

Ciara: okay so? maybe? pay attention??

Arc: But math is sooooo boooooriinnnnng

Warwick: ^^Can confirm

Warwick: But isn’t your teacher gonna like be mad if she sees you with your phone

Arc: Nah ms hardy doesn’t notice anything

Arc: I’m 99% sure she’s high all the time

Arc: But her class is so. freaking. Boring.

Ciara: yeah we got that

Ciara: what do you want us to do?

Arc: Play a game with me!!

Ciara: no

Arc: :((

Warwick: I’ll play with you buddy!

Arc: :DDD

Warwick: Wait shit

Warwick: Shit my teacher’s coming

Warwick: Oh man she’s gonna take mthlkdl

Arc: Warwick?

Arc: My man?

Arc: My pal?

Arc: My best bro?

Warwick: Hello, this is Warwick’s history teacher. Please stop texting him during the hours of my class. Thank you.

Arc: Oh man

Arc: Sorry Warwick’s teacher!!


Arc ➜ Princess

Monday, Sept. 9, 10:49 AM EST

Arc: Ciaraaaaaa

Arc: Prudy has gym you’re my only hope

Arc: Pleaseeeee will you play a game with me

Ciara: no

Arc: Pls

Ciara: no

Arc: Pls

Ciara: no

Arc: Pls

Ciara: fine

Ciara: i have study hall next period can you wait until then?

Arc: A WHOLE eleven minutes???????????????

Arc: Fine

Arc: I’ll try to stay strong


Ciara ➜ Fishboy

Monday, Sept. 9, 11:01 AM EST

Ciara: alright what are we playing

Arc: Uhhhh

Arc: Good question

Arc: Truth or dare?

Ciara: sounds good, but dares need photo evidence

Arc: Makes sense

Arc: Ok truth or dare?

Ciara: dare

Arc: Edgy

Arc: Ok i dare you to text the cheesiest pickup line you can think of to someone in the gsa group chat

Arc: But wait not prudy or warwick

Ciara: dammit

Ciara: idk who else to send it to though

Ciara: i don’t know everyone else well enough

Arc: Hey you chose dare

Ciara: ugggghhh fine

Arc: oH WAIT

Arc: You also can’t tell them it’s a dare even after

Ciara: whY

Arc: Dont forget screenshots!!!

Ciara: ihy


Ciara ➜ Henry Hart

Monday, Sept. 9, 11:06 AM EST

Ciara: hey so

Ciara: kid danger fights crime right?

Henry: yeah??

Ciara: well you better lock yourself up

Ciara: ‘cause it’s a felony to look that good


Ciara ➜ Fishboy

Monday, Sept. 9, 11:07 AM EST

Ciara: Sent an image

Ciara: I DID IT ARE YOU HAPPY??

Arc: Oh my god

Arc: What did he say?????

Ciara: sghjkasfhjak NOTHING HE’S PROBABLY CREEPED OUT

Arc: This is FANTASTIC

Ciara: YOU’RE THE WORST


Henry Hart ➜ jasper the friendly ghost

Monday, Sept. 9, 11:07 AM EST

Henry: Sent an image

Henry: WHAT DO I SAY TO THIS???

Henry: I MEAN SHES CUTE BUT I WAS NO T EXPECTING THIS

Jasper: Oh wow she really went for it there huh

Henry: yEAH SHGDJKJSDF WHAT DO I DO????


Jasper Dunlop ➜ Ciara

Monday, Sept. 9, 11:09 AM EST

Jasper: So uh

Jasper: Quick question

Jasper: Do you like

Jasper: Have a crush on Henry

Ciara: holy shit he already told you?

Ciara: but GOD no i mean he’s cute but i just met him that pickup line was a dare!!

Jasper: Oh okay good

Jasper: I mean

Jasper: Not that I would care

Jasper: If you had a crush on Henry

Jasper: Just curious

Ciara: right

Ciara: but yeah that was a dare from arc lol


Ciara ➜ Henry Hart

Monday, Sept. 9, 11:12 AM EST

Ciara: i’m sorry that was super weird sdhjkdsdg

Henry: nah its okay it was kind of cute

Ciara: yeah?

Henry: usually im the one with the cheesy pickup lines lmao

Henry: its nice to be on the receiving end

Ciara: aww really

Henry: yeah maybe ill show u sometime ;)

Ciara: i just might take you up on that


Ciara ➜ Fishboy

Monday, Sept. 9, 11:14 AM EST

Ciara: Sent an image

Ciara: now he’s high key flirting omg

Arc: Woah wait

Arc: That escalated quickly

Arc: Ok u can tell him it was a dare now

Ciara: hm jealous?

Arc: Well yeah henry’s cute ok sue me

Ciara: not what i meant but still valid

Ciara: pretty sure jasper is already on that tho

Arc: Oh rlly?

Ciara: yeah he got all weird bc henry sent him the screenshot lol but i told him it was a dare

Ciara: oh you said i couldn’t tell the person i texted it was a dare but you didn’t say anything about his friends

Arc: Fair ig

Arc: But wow I thought it would be Henry and Charlotte

Ciara: also valid

Ciara: who knows maybe all three

Arc: Extra valid lmao

Arc: Also it’s ur turn

Ciara: kk truth or dare?

Arc: Truth

Ciara: wimp

Ciara: ok worst fear

Arc: Oh okay you went there

Arc: Uh

Arc: Well it used to be not becoming a knight

Ciara: and now?

Arc: Uh

Arc: Probably losing you

Arc: I mean like

Arc: All of you guys

Arc: The squad is like my family yknow?

Ciara: awww arc

Ciara: but yeah i feel the same way

Arc: :)


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Monday, Sept. 9, 1:22 PM EST

Max: i would just like to say, from the bottom of my heart,

Max: you’re welcome.

Ciara: ?????

Phoebe: What does this mean?

Phoebe: Max, what did you do????


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Monday, Sept. 9, 1:38 PM EST

Jasper: DUDE

Jasper: DID YOU PULL THE FIRE ALARM

Max: pffft no i’m not an amateur

Max: i hacked into the alarm system and set off every single one in the school at once obv

Max: now instead of making us wait outside they’re letting school out early so they can figure out what happened and why the alarms won’t stop yeet

Charlotte: 1) How the Hell

Charlotte: 2) You couldn’t have waited until after my history presentation?

Henry: no he couldnt because after you i was supposed to go!

Henry: max ur a national hero!!!!!

Max: once again

Max: you’re welcome

Ciara: but actually how did you do that??

Max: a magician never reveals his secrets

Max: but remember snitches get stitches so if anyone tells the teachers it was me i will murder you in your sleep

Jasper: Cool cool cool cool cool

Chapter Text

Henry Hart ➜ chartreuse

Tuesday, Sept. 10, 12:37 AM EST

Henry: hey

Henry: u still up?

Charlotte: Hey, are you guys okay?

Charlotte: How did it go at the bank?

Henry: yea everyones fine

Charlotte: Thank god.

Charlotte: I wanted to stay but Schwoz told me and Jasper to go home and rest.

Charlotte: But obviously I couldn’t sleep so I stayed up to watch the news.

Charlotte: You guys did really great out there.

Henry: thanks

Charlotte: You sure you’re okay?

Henry: yea im all good

Charlotte: Physically and mentally?

Henry: mhm

Charlotte: Do you want to come sleep at my place?

Henry: dont u have a precalc test first period tmrw

Charlotte: Bold of you to assume I won’t ace it anyway.

Charlotte: My window’s open.

Henry: okay

Henry: thanks char

Charlotte: Always.


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Wednesday, Sept. 11, 2:29 PM EST

Phoebe: Hey everyone! Just a reminder that there’s going to be another meeting after school tomorrow! We’re going to be brainstorming ideas for fundraisers we can do around the school to help raise money to donate to the Trevor Project and the Gill Foundation!

Phoebe: Here’s a link to their websites if you want to check them out:

Phobe: Link: TheTrevorProject.org

Phoebe: Link: GillFoundation.org

Charlotte: Good choice of charities!

Phoebe: Thanks!

Phoebe: Also, if you guys want to invite anyone else you know to join us, that would be great!

Phoebe: (They don’t have to be gay or a superhero, by the way; after all, the real name of this club is the Gay Straight Alliance.)

Max: also bring food

Phoebe: Wonderful contribution, Max.

Max: y’know since it’s over text i can pretend the sarcasm isn’t there

Phoebe: Kind of like I always pretend you’re not there!

Max: stfu

Jasper: Ooh I can bring food!

Jasper: I make really good pot brownies

Phoebe: WHAT

Phoebe: PLEASE DO NOT BRING POT BROWNIES TO THE MEETING.

Jasper: Okay look I know it sounds weird but trust me brownies come out just as good when you bake them in a pot!!

Jasper: Actually I think they taste better!

Jasper: It gives them a little extra flair

Phoebe: Oh thank god.

Phoebe: I thought you meant

Phoebe: You know

Jasper: ???

Phoebe: Never mind.

Phoebe: You can bring your pot brownies Jasper.

Jasper: Yess!


Group Chat: girls with knives

Wednesday, Sept. 11, 4:18 PM EST

Prudence: Hey guys!

Sage: What

Prudence: So idk if you know but Ciara and I started going to the GSA club last week

Prudence: And we were just wondering if you guys would want to come to our meeting tomorrow

Buttercup: what’s GSA???

Ciara: it stands for gay straight alliance

Ciara: the club is basically like

Ciara: a safe place for lgbt students

Ciara: we’re raising money for gay charities this week!

Sage: Who else is there

Prudence: Us, obv, Arc and Warwick, these three people from our grade, Henry, Jasper, and Charlotte, and these two junior twins named Max and Phoebe

Ciara: sage you and max would probably get along

Ciara: he threatens to murder us like, on the daily

Sage: Ha

Sage: We love that

Sage: But ehhh spending more time with you losers sounds pretty lame to me

Buttercup: i think it sounds like fun!!!!!!!

Buttercup: i’ll come!

Buttercup: pleeeeeaaaaaase sage???

Sage: Ugh fine

Buttercup: yay!!!! :DDDDDDD

Sage: God why do you have to be so cute


Henry Hart ➜ ciara

Wednesday, Sept. 11, 6:39 PM EST

Henry: hey do u have a garden?

Ciara: no, why?

Henry: cuz im tryna put our tulips together

Ciara: shkjsdfj

Ciara: that was terrible

Ciara: but kind of cute

Henry: fun fact: tulips are actually a symbol of perfect love

Ciara: really?

Henry: yea i know my flowers

Henry: i went to flower camp

Ciara: omg nice was it fun??

Henry: yea man it was epic


Max Thunderman ➜ wombmate

Wednesday, Sept. 11, 8:51 PM EST

Max: PHOEBE

Max: THEKRE IS A SPIJER IN MY ROO M

Phoebe: Okay, and?

Max: PLEASE COME AND KILSL IT

Max: ARCHIE AND I HAVE BE EN SITTING IN MY SLIDE FOR 45 MINUTDS

Max: IT WONT GO AWY

Phoebe: Why don’t you kill it?

Phoebe: You have like a billion inventions in your room that would blast it into a million pieces.

Max: TRIED THAT

Max: ACCIDENTALLY GRADBBED TH GROWTH GUN INSTEAD OF THE BLATS ER IN MY PANIC

Max: THE SPIDE R IS NOW ROUHGLY THE SIZE OF MH FOREARN

Phoebe: Holy shit.

Phoebe: Well there’s no way in hell I am coming down there now.

Max: PHOEBE BLEASE

Phoebe: Here’s an idea: why don’t you use your literal superpowers.

Max: I CANT IM SCARED

Max: PLESE IM TOO PRET Y TO DIE

Max: I WIL L LITEALLY DO ANYTHIGN

Phoebe: Anything?

Max: DONT FUCKIG SAY TI

Phoebe: :)

Phoebe: >:)

Max: PHEOB I SWEAR

Phoebe: Then,

Phoebe: Perhaps,

Max: dONT

Phoebe: Perish >:)

Max: I HATE YOU SO FUJCING MUCH

Phoebe: Okay okay I’m coming down.

Phoebe: You’re doing my chores for two weeks though.

Max: pHOEBE YOUR  A LITERAL GODDESS


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Wednesday, Sept. 11, 11:11 PM EST

Prudence: 11:11 make a wish!

Phoebe: I wish the world we lived in wasn’t ruled by the rich and powerful and greedy. Like I wish that the capitalist system wasn’t set up in a way that literally plays to only serve those with money while the general public has to work in jobs they hate for hours on end and do back-breaking work just so they can get a meal or get decent healthcare. And then they constantly get screwed over by multi billionares who pretend they care so much about charity and the people when really if they did care they wouldn’t have so much money in the first place? I wish people would realize that the system we have is broken and I wish that they could do something about it. Like I’m a freaking superhero and yet I don’t have the power to stop the real problems, like the fact that the average American is depressed, dying on their feet, stuck in a routine that they hate all so that they can play their role in a world that is designed to work against them. I wish we could all just rise up and get out of here.

Prudence: Okay I was gonna wish for a new hammer but hey that’s a good wish too!

Charlotte: Hey Phoebe wanna usurp the government with me

Phoebe: I would love to.

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Phoenix Squad

Thursday, Sept. 12, 10:55 AM EST

Arc: Guys

Arc: You know what I just realized

Prudence: What?

Arc: Max looks. So much like Sir Swazy

Warwick: Holy shit

Warwick: Ur right…

Prudence: Except for the dumb little braid

Arc: exCUSE you the braid was ICONIC

Ciara: OKAY I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY

Ciara: AND ARC REMEMBER THE GENIE

Ciara: DOESN’T PHOEBE LOOK EXACTLY LIKE HER

Arc: Wait

Arc: Wait

Arc: W ha t th e fu ck 

Prudence: Wait genie????

Prudence: What genie???????

Arc: Its a longggg story, Ciara didnt want to keep her identity a secret anymore, I found a genie to help, it backfired, Sage was the princess, basically it was a Whole MessTM

Warwick: Ok why do we always miss the fun stuff?

Arc: Because Ciarc is an iconic duo

Prudence: That’s a terrible ship name

Ciara: ew please don’t talk about shipping me and arc

Arc: Yeah ew

Arc: Thats disgusting

Ciara: so gross


Prudence ➜ magic boy

Thursday, Sept. 12, 10:59 AM EST

Prudence: How long do you think it’ll be before they crack?

Warwick: Id give it two weeks

Warwick: Three tops


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Thursday, Sept. 12, 5:21 PM EST

Phoebe Thunderman added Sage to the chat.

Phoebe Thunderman added Buttercup to the chat.

Phoebe: Hey guys! It’s Phoebe from the meeting here, welcome to the official GSA group chat!

Phoebe: Send your name, grade, sexuality, pronouns, and an interesting fact about yourself!

Sage: Didnt we like. Already do this at the meeting

Phoebe: Yeah, but this is more for anyone who doesn’t have your numbers saved and doesn’t remember.

Buttercup: hiii i’m buttercup!! :D im a sophomore, pan girl, aaaand a fun fact about me is that i have the best girlfriend in the whole world!!!

Sage: ashjksldfskjdl Butty But please don’t make me Soft in front of all these losers

Sage: Also you cant have the best gf in the world bc i do

Buttercup: awwwwwwwwww i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sage: Love you too babe

Sage: Whats up i’m Sage, lesbian, sophomore, and i once trained a herd of pegasi to poop on ciara arc warwick and prudy

Max: LMAO nice

Ciara: please don’t encourage her

Max: being a chaos enabler is my job

Charlotte: I thought your job was supposed to be being a superhero? And, you know, stopping chaos?

Max: details details

Sage: Hang on i dont know who any of you are

Sage: Well i know the phoenix squad

Sage: Wish i didnt though

Henry: damn the savagery

Henry: im henry hart, aka kid danger, aka the coolest guy youll ever have the pleasure of meeting

Charlotte: He once got his head stuck between the playground bars.

Henry: big deal everyones done that

Charlotte: NOT WHEN THEY WERE FOURTEEN

Arc: PLEASE tell me you have a pic

Charlotte: Sent an image

Arc: SDJHKLSDFJHK

Jasper: Ah what an iconic moment

Jasper: A day that will go down in history

Henry: this is cyberbullying

Charlotte: Get over it Kid Idiot

Henry: :(

Henry: meanie

Max: i feel like i’m watching the “pulling pigtails” phenomenon in action rn

Charlotte: Okay, first of all, No.

Charlotte: Second of all, 

Charlotte: N o.

Henry: whats the pulling pigtails phenomenon

Charlotte: Nothing.

Charlotte: That is 100% not what this is.

Charlotte: Anyyyyway Sage, I’m Charlotte!

Max: this is max

Sage: Oh yeah ciara told me we’d get along

Sage: Apparently youre the one who set off the fire alarms

Max: okay what did i say about snitches getting stitches

Sage: Relax i’m not a rat

Sage: I think it’s badass tbh

Buttercup: oooh sage only ever compliments me

Buttercup: you’ve impressed her!

Max: fantastic it was my life goal to impress a goth gay sophomore

Sage: Oh ok youre gonna play it like that huh you really want to go rn old man

Buttercup: saaaage please dont fight :((

Sage: Consider yourslef lucky that my gf is here

Max: yourslef

Jasper: Yourslef

Arc: Yourslef

Sage: oKAY SHUT UP

Henry: also unrelated but jasper is caught up watching dog judge rn so the 1027 number is his

Henry: jasper is the one who brought the brownies to the meeting

Sage: Oh yeah the pot brownies that werent actual pot brownies

Sage: What a disappointment

Ciara: SAGE N O 


Henry Hart ➜ ciara

Thursday, Sept. 12, 6:12 PM EST

Henry: ok ok i have a good one today

Ciara: okay shoot

Henry: you should change ur last name

Henry: bc you already took my hart ;)

Ciara: DAMN THAT WAS ACTUALLY SMOOTH

Henry: THANK YOU

Henry: but oof dont sound so surprised

Henry: im woundedddd

Ciara: i’m just saying your last few have been so-so

Henry: DOUBLE OOF

Henry: sHOT THROUGH THE HEARTTT

Henry: AND YOURE TO BLAME

Ciara: i could actually shoot you through the heart if you want

Ciara: with an arrow :)

Henry: ...pls dont do that

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Friday, Sept. 13, 8:17 AM EST

Jasper: GUYYYYS

Jasper: ITS FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH

Charlotte: Wonderful.

Henry: im so not coming into work today

Phoebe: Why are you guys so worried? It’s just a superstition.

Henry: no u dont understand

Henry: every year when theres a friday the 13th our boss ray tries to pull a prank on us and act like its bad luck or whatever

Charlotte: Yeah, last year he shut me and Jasper in the tubes and played “What’s New, Pussycat” from the speakers for an hour straight.

Henry: and the year before that he dyed my entire suit pink and made my bubblegum cover me in glitter when i popped it

Henry: glitter is REALLY hard to wash out of hair

Phoebe: I’m not going to lie, your boss sounds kind of like he’s insane.

Jasper: Oh definitely

Phoebe: Also! The glitter is a pretty nice segway into our next topic: pride parades! Swellview Pride is coming up the Saturday after tomorrow, and it would be awesome if we could all go together.

Ciara: YES

Buttercup: ooh a pride parade!!!!! that’s gonna be soooooo much fun, i can’t wait!!!!!! :D

Phoebe: I’ll send out more information in an email later. Mark your calendars, people!


Max Thunderman ➜ wombmate

Friday, Sept. 13, 10:23 AM EST

Max: phoebe. this is gonna sound crazy

Phoebe: Everything that comes out of your mouth sounds crazy.

Phoebe: But what is it this time, specifically?

Max: shut up

Max: okay so

Max: you know how the knight ppl are from like another universe

Phoebe: Yeah?

Max: okay well doesn’t Ciara look EXACTLY like the pop star Cheyanne

Phoebe: Wait

Phoebe: Wait that’s so weird.

Max: and doesn’t arc look like

Max: the freakin dancer dude we met in the 50s

Phoebe: HEINRICH HIDDENVILLE THE THIRD

Max: yeah him

Phoebe: Woahhhhhhh

Max: so like. what if WE have doppelgangers in THEIR universe

Phoebe: Oh my god.

Phoebe: That would be so insane.

Max: right??????

Max: what would we even be like though

Phoebe: I don’t know, but I bet I’m still cooler than you are!

Max: never mind i really hope i don’t exist in a universe where you’re the cool one

Phoebe: You already do.

Max: whatever helps you sleep at night


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Friday, Sept. 13, 10:56 AM EST

Jasper: Hey does anyone have a free period rn

Charlotte: I have one, why? I thought you had Lit?

Jasper: Uh. I kind of uhhh dont want to go to that class right now I would kind of uhhh literally go anywhere else

Henry: what’s going on?

Jasper: Well.

Jasper: Theres this girl! Who is big transphobe! And shes kinda been up my ass all day and saying really mean shit and I may or may not have been crying in the bathroom for the last ten mintues but you know! Its okay! And I have the next class with her and Id rather just! Not

Henry: fuck.

Charlotte: Was it Jessie?

Jasper: Yeah

Charlotte: Okay first things first:

Charlotte: Do you want to go to the pet store and hold the snakes?

Jasper: Yes

Jasper: But what about “no leaving the school grounds during school hours without a pass”

Henry: i leave all the time for kd stuff 

Henry: and i feel like this is a little more important than saving swellview

Charlotte: ^^^^

Jasper: Thanks guys :)

Henry: meet at entrance in 5?

Charlotte: Yup.


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Friday, Sept. 13, 11:25 AM EST

Max: jasper

Max: what’s her last name?

Jasper: Hatfield

Jasper: Why?

✔️ Read 11:27 PM EST

Jasper: MAX WHY?


Arc ➜ Princess

Friday, Sept. 13, 1:46 PM EST

Arc: Okay truth or dare

Ciara: we’re still going?

Arc: Yeah ofc

Arc: What are you a quitter

Ciara: nO i pick truth

Arc: Hm. Something you’ve never told ANYONE

Ciara: oof that’s hard

Ciara: between you prudy and eliza everything about me has been said at least once

Arc: Okay there’s gotta be something

Ciara: ummmm

Ciara: okay there’s one thing

Ciara: but you literally cannot tell ANYONE

Ciara: i’m serious if you do i will never speak to you again

Arc: Hey I kept your princess secret!

Arc: I wont tell I swear

Ciara: okay

Ciara: aghsdjkf

Ciara: at one point sageandikissed

Arc: WHAT

Ciara: this was before she and buttercup started dating ofc!!!

Ciara: but idk. we were just sparring and then we got kinda close and then we kissed and it was kind of nice and we decided to idk try it out?? but we didn’t tell ANYONE because things would get super awkward

Arc: Holy shit

Ciara: and then we kind of decided it wasn’t working out and she was still working out her feelings for buttercup and i was working out other feelings and just like. we called it off

Ciara: but actually we were like? a lot closer after breaking up than we were before we dated

Arc: Wowwwww

Arc: Thats insane

Arc: Like I thought you guys hated each other

Arc: I mean I know not hate-hate but still

Arc: Anyway thats cool and I wont tell anyone I swear

Arc: Also what feelings were u working out

Ciara: sorry bud you only get one question per round

Ciara: and i have to actually pay attention in class now byeeeee :)


 

Jasper Dunlop ➜ The Scary One

Friday, Sept. 13, 2:17 PM EST

Jasper: DID YOU

Jasper: DID YOU PUT A TARANTULA IN JESSIE HATFIELD’S LOCKER

Max: it’s possible i had something to do with it

Jasper: H

Jasper: HOW DID YOU DO THAT SO FAST THE SCHOOL DAY ISNT EVEN OVER

Max: i know a guy

Max: i also sent her an email virus from the school email so

Jasper: Max

Max: yes?

Jasper: You didnt have to do all that for me sghjksfdjhs

Max: don’t flatter urself bucketman it wasn't for you

Max: i’m just giving her a little friday the 13th luck

Max: i’m a prankster it's what i do

Max: also again: stitches get snitches so delete this convo and deny it ever happened 

Jasper: Stitches get snitches?

Max: shut UP you know what i meant

Jasper: LMAO okay

Jasper: Youre a good prankster btw

Max: i’m not just a GOOD prankster i’m the KING of pranks

Max: don’t disrespect me like this smh

Jasper: Sorry!

Jasper: And Max?

Max: what, baby gay

Jasper: You’re a good hero, too

Max: shgdjfksfjdfjkjslfdfj

Max: hjljkgfhjiotirtkjxnbs

Max: okay now delete this convo 

Chapter Text

Sunday, Sept. 28, 12:02 PM EST

Piper Hart added Henry Hart to the chat.

Piper Hart added Charlotte Page-Bolton to the chat.

Piper Hart added Jasper Dunlop to the chat.

Piper Hart renamed the chat: what the fuck, guys

Piper: *quiet music*

Piper: so was no one going to tell me that my BROTHER is KID DANGER

Piper: or was i just supposed to climb into the hood of a car and crawl through a bunch of tubes and fall into the mancave myself???

Henry: neither wouldve been preferable

Charlotte: Also, language.

Charlotte Page-Bolton renamed the chat: what the heck, guys

Piper: i cannot believe that BOTH OF YOU KNEW

Piper: and DIDN’T TELL ME

Piper: your own SISTER

Henry: youve told me on multiple occasions to never acknowledge that we’re related to each other

Piper: that seems irrelevant

Henry: its really not

Charlotte: I figured it out, by the way.

Charlotte: So technically he didn’t tell me.

Jasper: And as for me

Piper: i know what happened you told me on the way home

Jasper: Didn’t I tell the girl you hired to follow me

Piper: whatever i’m gonna guess it had something to do with you and my brother having a weird misunderstanding and then ray trying to erase your memory like he tried with me and then hen accidentally revealing how gay he is for you

Henry: what

Jasper: What?

Piper: i didn’t say anything :)

Jasper: This is literally a text conversation 

Jasper: Like its right there

Jasper: I can see it

Henry: henrywayyyyy

Henry: piper is there a point to all this

Henry: or did u just wanna whine about being left out

Piper: i also wanted to tell kid danger to fuck off 

Henry: we live in the same house you can do that in person

Henry: update: she did it in person

Piper: ALSO

Piper: i want updates

Charlotte: Like what kind of updates?

Piper: like. all kinds of updates. stuff you guys do when fighting bad guys that they don’t tell us on the news.

Henry: yeah sure ms. “i’m verified on twitter and could blow ur cover to half the world in seconds”

Piper: i’m not stupid i’m not gonna do that

Henry: i have doubts abt both those things

Piper: asshole

Henry: love u tooo

Henry: but im not sending u any updates

Henry: ur not on the team

Piper: i could be!

Henry: nope

Piper: charrrrr

Charlotte: Sorry, Piper, Henry’s right.

Charlotte: The stuff we get into can get pretty crazy.

Piper: you were younger than me when you first started

Henry: that was different

Piper: why? because im a girl?

Henry: no, dumbass, bc youre my little sister

Piper: so?

Henry: so you dont want to get involved in this shit

Henry: ur not even in hs yet just enjoy yourself

Charlotte: We’ll keep you in the loop, okay?

Charlotte: But let us handle the crime-fighting stuff.

Piper: fine.

Piper: wait

Piper: girl code?

Charlotte: Nope, sorry.

Piper: dammit


Ciara ➜ flower boi

Monday, Sept. 30, 9:52 AM EST

Ciara: hey, are you made of copper and tellurium?

Henry: what

Ciara: because you’re CuTe!

Henry: what

Ciara: damn henry i really thought we had chemistry

Henry: what

Henry: oH 

Henry: I GET IT

Henry: ELEMENTAL SYMBOLS

Ciara: oh my god you’re a dumbass

Ciara: oh my god wait

Ciara: fuck

Ciara: do i have a type?

Ciara: is this how the rest of my life is destined to be?

Henry: wait what a type
Henry: i KNEW IT

Henry: I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON WITH YOU AND ARC

Ciara: um what the heck are you talking about there is NOTHING between me and arc we’re strictly friends

Henry: yeah okay sure

Henry: “friends”

Henry: “friends” who give each other stupid pining looks at lunch when they think no one else can see 

Henry: well hey guess what i can see!

Henry: so you’ve got a thing for dumb blondes, then?

Ciara: NO

Ciara: MAYBE

Ciara: FUCK

Henry: tHIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS SDHGFKJS

Ciara: but i DON’T like arc! that would be weird and gross and n o

Henry: alright sure

Henry: keep telling yourself that

Ciara: i will!

Ciara: because it’s the truth!

Henry: sure

Ciara: stfu henry!


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Monday, Sept. 30, 7:31 PM EST

Warwick: Opinions on pineapple on pizza go

Warwick: I need to know who i can trust here

Max: disgusting

Prudence: No, anything is good on pizza!

Max: you’re wrong

Prudence: I’m pretty sure it’s an opinion

Max: your opinion is wrong

Charlotte: That’s not how that works.

Charlotte: But okay I have to agree with Max here pineapple on pizza is gross.

Ciara: are you kidding me it’s so good????

Sage: fucking HEATHENS

Sage: it’s the WORST

Arc: I dont like pineapple in general

Arc: Well I like the taste but I dont like that it makes ur tongue feel all weird?

Ciara: wdym?

Arc: You know when like u eat pineapple and then ur mouth gets kinda swollen and your throat tingles

Warwick: Arc...buddy...my m a n 

Warwick: That sounds like youre just. Allergic to pineapple

Arc: You know that actually explains a lot

Ciara: shgdfjlsdfh arc why are u like this

Henry: ive only had it once and it wasnt like awful?? but it wasnt good either??? like not the worst experience ive ever had but i wouldnt do it again

Max: like going to juvy

Charlotte: What?

Max: what

Phoebe: I like it!

Max: see proof that it’s the wrong opinion

Phoebe: How is that proof.

Max: all of your opinions are wrong

Buttercup: I think it tastes really good!

Sage: i feel like i’ve been stabbed in the back

Sage: how could you do this to me

Sage: my own girlfriend

Buttercup: :(( Sorry! I promise I love you more than I love pineapple on pizza!

Sage: fuck stop making me soft sdjhksdf

Sage: that’s not allowed

Max: uh guys could you like...please keep the homosexuality on this chat to a minimum.

Max: like i’m not a homophobe or anything but…

Max: this is God’s House and i would prefer that you didn’t spread your sins here.

Henry: wait u guys are gay?

Henry: what the fuck...okay im sorry i dont think i can talk to u anymore

Henry: i dont want to catch whatever you guys have yknow :/

Arc: uhhhh gay people? pls DNI. 

Ciara: Yikes...the HomosexualsTM really have invaded all of our spaces

Ciara: are we no longer safe even among our own friends?

Ciara: in our own group chats?

Prudence: This is heterophobia.

Sage: i fucking hate all of you

Warwick: OKAY SO after a careful examination of the data presented here are the conclusions i’ve drawn:

Warwick: Max, Sage, Charlotte, and Arc—you’re the real ones

Arc: Hell yeah

Warwick: Henry u can stay but you’re on thin fucking ice

Warwick: The rest of u are FAKE

Warwick: How does it feel to realize that every life choice youve made up until this moment is wrong?

Warwick: You cant run from your sins anymore

Warwick: This is your judgement day

Warwick: This is your reckoning.

Jasper: Pineapple pizza is good but only if there’s mayonaise too!

Henry: WHAT THE FUCK JASPER

Warwick removed Jasper Dunlop from the chat.

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Monday, Sept. 30, 7:49 PM EST

Ciara: now that, folks, is what we call a vibe check

Prudence: i’m screaming 

Warwick: I did what was necessary

Henry: i commend u for ur valor

Warwick: Thank you sir

Arc: FUCK NOW HE’S SPAMMING ME WITH PICS OF DANNY DEVITO

Ciara: STAY STRONG ARC

Arc: I DONT THINK I CAN

Arc: MAX THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

Max: thank you i take full responsibility

Max: i’m what they call an influencer

Arc: YOURE WHAT THEY CALL AN ASSHOLE

Ciara: sgdjdhddjdl nice

Arc: i’m sorry guys i’m weak

Warwick: Arc dont you dare

Arc added Jasper Dunlop to the chat. 

Warwick: Damn it

Jasper: I LIVE

Henry: we could just remove you again

Jasper: Please dont :(

Henry: dont worry ily too much for that

Henry: even though you eat?? pizza with mayonnaise? like a freak

Jasper: aww thanks

Jasper: i think

Jasper: i love you too man

Max: gross

Charlotte: shhh they’re having a moment


Group Chat: Gay Superhero Alliance

Tuesday, Oct. 1, 8:31 AM EST

Arc renamed the chat: spoopy season

Arc: GUESS WHAT TIME OF THE YEAR IT IS FUCKERS

Arc: Sent a gif.

Henry: yEAHH

Arc: Halloween is the best holiday you cant change my mind

Henry: uh christmas first but right after 

Arc: Debatable

Ciara: i am SO excited

Ciara: i can’t wait to put up decorations

Arc: Who wants to come to the dollar tree to hoard candy corn and halloween oreos with me after school

Prudence: I am SO there

Henry: im coming toooo

Buttercup: I wanna join! 

Arc: Hell yeah blonde squad

Charlotte: What are you guys gonna be?

Ciara: should i dress up as danny devito

Arc: NO 

Ciara: i’m gonna do it

Arc: STOP


Group Chat: spoopy season

Tuesday, Oct. 1, 2:15 PM EST

Charlotte: Did you guys hear the Fall Festival announcement?
Charlotte: It sounds fun!

Henry: yeah i didnt know our school actually does cool stuff sometimes

Henry: are u guys gonna go

Ciara: heck yeah

Ciara: food? games? prizes? rides? i’m so there.

Phoebe: I’m gonna have booths set up there! I’m doing a recyclable bottle-ring toss for The Green Teens and a prize raffle for Habitat for Humanity.

Phoebe: You guys better stop by.

Phoebe: Ooh we could do a booth for GSA too! Raise money for The Trevor Project and stuff. Thoughts?

Charlotte: That would be cool!

Arc: I have shit planning skills but Im down to help

Henry: what kind of booth?

Phoebe: Well I’m kind of partial to doing a dunking booth and dropping Max.

Max: yeah that’s not happening

Jasper: Lets do a kissing booth

Charlotte: sgdjdhd yeah sure

Jasper: It’s a good idea! 

Sage: For a Wattpad book maybe.

Jasper: I would pay good money for it

Charlotte: That sounds like you’re just horny.

Jasper: ...And what about it?

Ciara: we could do a mini crossbow range

Ciara: yknow like set up a booth with little targets and replace actual crossbow bolts with foam ones and have people take them out for prizes

Arc: You just want to win

Ciara: ,,,mayhaps

Ciara: but stilllll

Phoebe: Yeah it’s a good idea! I think it could be really cool.

Ciara: yeet!

Phoebe: Okay, I’m gonna work on getting us a booth and we’ll discuss what we need next meeting!

Henry: sounds gucci


Max Thunderman ➜ wombmate

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 4:56 AM EST

Max: I FISDNED 

Max: FINEHJD

Max: FINSUHED

Max: FUCK

Max: FINISHED

Max: ITS DONE


Phoebe Thunderman ➜ Thing 2

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 6:45 AM EST

Phoebe: Max what the fuck.

Phoebe: Are you. Alive?


Group Chat: spoopy season

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 7:03 AM EST

Phoebe: Sent an image.

Ciara: oh my god

Ciara: he’s kinda cute when he’s asleep

Phoebe: Please don’t ever call my brother cute again.

Charlotte: Is he...okay?

Henry: why are there so many cans of red bull around him

Charlotte: Why are there so many power tools.

Phoebe: They were still PLUGGED IN when I came downstairs. 

Charlotte: What even HAPPENED

Phoebe: I have no idea. This morning I just woke up to texts he sent me at almost 5 in the morning saying that he finished “it” but i have no idea what that is. 

Phoebe: And honestly? I’m a little scared to find out.

Phoebe: By the way he’s been acting lately I’m pretty sure this is the most sleep he’s gotten all week. 

Phoebe: But should I wake him up?

Phoebe: If I don’t he’s gonna be late to school. But if I do there’s a very good chance that I will not survive the aftermath.

Ciara: let him r e s t

Henry: nah sleep is for the weak

Henry: wake him up

Sage: You should pour water over his head or smthn 

Charlotte: We have a Lit test first period wake him up.

Phoebe: If I die it’s on your hands.


Group Chat: spoopy season

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 7:52 AM EST

Max: i can’t believe you guys plotted against me like this

Max: everyone but ciara is cancelled 

Arc: Where

Arc: Wheres phoebe 

Max: >:)

Arc: MAX WHAT DID YOU DO

Phoebe: He’s being dramatic I’m fine.

Max: I’M not fine

Max: i’m tired >:(

Ciara: maybe that’s why you don’t stay up until 5 in the morning every day for like a week straight

Max: hey it wasn’t the whole week

Max: i didn’t go to bed at all on saturday 

Charlotte: Jesus Christ I thought Henry was bad.

Max: science never sleeps

Charlotte: What were you working on anyway?

Max: i made an invisibility cloak

Charlotte: Wait what

Charlotte: Seriously?

Max: okay it’s not actually invisibility BUT i made nanotech fibers that project the imagery of your surroundings and worked them into a cloak so if you stay relatively still you can blend in almost completely with whatever’s around you

Charlotte: You’re being serious right now?

Max: yeah

Charlotte: That’s SO COOL WHAT THE HELL

Charlotte: Wait I want a video

Max: Sent a video.

Charlotte: That is so!!! Awesome!!!

Max: thanks

Max: i’m still working out how to make it work better with motion so we can use it for stealth suits and stuff like that but yeah that’s where i am right now

Arc: Okay wait that’s REALLY cool holy shit-

Arc: Dude you mADE THAT?

Henry: THATS SO SICK

Max: ,,,thank you guys :)

Max: also wait

Max: shit

Max: we have a lit test???

Charlotte: Yes oh my god.

Charlotte: Go study!!

Max: ugghhhhhhh

Max: k bye


Group Chat: what the heck, guys

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 9:56 PM EST

4 missed calls from Piper

Piper: guys someone please answer the phone

Piper: somethings wrong with henry

Jasper: Sorry mine was on silent

Jasper: Wait what

Jasper: What happened?

Piper: i went into henry’s room because i heard a thump and i found him passed out on the floor

Piper: i was gonna call the hospital but he’s still dressed as kid danger

Piper: guys please he’s breathing really weird

Charlotte: Oh my God

Jasper: Shit

Charlotte: I told him to check in with Schwoz before he went home

Charlotte: Fuck

Charlotte: Okay we’ll be right over don’t call the hospital yet. 

Piper: ok 

Piper: please hurry

Chapter Text

Charlotte Page-Bolton ➜ Baby Chick

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 11:01 PM EST

Charlotte: Hey, Schwoz says he’s going to be just fine. He broke a couple ribs, and he’s really exhausted, but he’s okay. You can come down to the Man Cave now.

Piper: oh thank god

Piper: is he up yet

Charlotte: No, Schwoz gave him some pain meds and stuff to help him sleep. He just needs rest.

Piper: mkay i’m on my way down

Piper: thanks char

Charlotte: Yeah of course. Don’t worry too much, okay? He’ll be alright.

Piper: yeah


Jasper Dunlop ➜ Char-mander

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 11:09 PM EST

Jasper: Hey

Jasper: U doing ok?

Charlotte: Yeah. Just tired and scared, y’know?

Jasper: Yeah ik.

Jasper: I might just stay at the Man Cave tonight. I dont really want to go home

Jasper: Do u wanna stay too?

Charlotte: Yes.

Charlotte: Get that one blanket from Schwoz’s closet. The fluffy one.

Jasper: On it. See u in a few <3


Ciara ➜ flower boi

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 11:42 PM EST

Ciara: hey hen, are you a broom?


Group Chat: spoopy season

Thursday, Oct. 3, 11:21 AM EST

Ciara: hey has anyone seen henry?

Ciara: i haven’t heard from him all day and he wasn’t in any of our classes

Max: ouch someone’s being ghosted

Ciara: stfu i’m just concerned

Charlotte: He got injured on patrol last night, but he’s going to be fine.

Arc: Oh shit seriously

Prudence: Oh god, I hope he’s okay...

Max: someone get this kid some protective gear jesus christ

Charlotte: I’m working on that ^^

Charlotte: He’s okay; he’s just sleeping it off right now.

Ciara: okay

Phoebe: Let us know if anything changes?

Charlotte: Will do.


Group Chat: spoopy season

Thursday, Oct. 3, 2:03 PM EST

Henry: Sent an image

Henry: i lived bithc

Arc: HE’S ALIVE

Ciara: HEY

Ciara: are you feeling better?

Henry: fuck yeah im not gona let a brken rib stop me!!!! im badass

Warwick: Go off sir

Henry: im kid danerg!

Henry: dnager

Henry: dnghaer

Max: take your time

Arc: dnghaer???????

Henry: DANGER

Henry: i did it

Charlotte: I think he’s on a lot of morphine.

Henry: drugs fckin RULE

Henry: dont tell char i said that please

Charlotte: Henry you absolute dumbass.

Henry: FUCK 

Jasper: sjhddsjhkjf oh my God

Phoebe: Henry, maybe go to bed.

Henry: nah evil never sleeps and NEITHER DOES KID DANGRE

Henry: DNAGRE

Henry: im gonna kill myself


Henry Hart ➜ arrow girl

Thursday, Oct. 3, 2:11 PM EST

Henry: qhat does this mean

Henry: im not a broom

Ciara: no?

Ciara: well you sweep me off my feet ;)

Henry: hahaha thats cute i l ike that one

Henry: cute liek you

Henry: and also char an jasper

Ciara: oh my god dork

Ciara: i knew it

Ciara: go get some sleep, lover boy

Henry: fine


Group Chat: spoopy season

Thursday, Oct. 3, 2:43 PM EST

Jasper: OKAY OKAY SOMEONE ASK ME WHAT DAY IT IS

Charlotte: Every single year.

Jasper: COME ON PLEASE

Arc: Why?

Jasper: JUST DO IT. PLEASE. 

Jasper: COME ON ASK ME

Jasper: PLEASE

Arc: Uh...okay? What day is it?

Jasper: I T ‘ S  O C T O B E R  T H I R D 

Warwick: Yes…?

Arc: What

Jasper: You guys dont

Jasper: You dont

Jasper: HANG ON. BACK UP. 

Jasper: YOU GUYS HAVENT SEEN MEAN GIRLS

Jasper: THE ICONIC 2004 FILM STARRING LINDSEY LOHAN DIR. MARK WATERS

Prudence: No…

Sage: We’re from another dimension remember

Jasper: Okay thats it we’re doing a movie night

Arc: YES

Max: i am literally only down if we watch star wars

Max: you canNOT have a quality movie night without star wars

Jasper: Youre valid okay so mean girls, star wars, we need to watch at LEAST one barbie film, preferably rapunzel BUT i will also take princess and the pauper

Charlotte: What

Jasper: Barbie movies slap char dont even try and deny it

Charlotte: No what I’m concerned about is the fact that you ranked those before SWAN LAKE. 

Charlotte: Swan Lake is the best Barbie film ever made; no, I will not be taking constructive criticism at this time.

Jasper: Okay no rapunzel is superior to all

Charlotte: You’re wrong. We’ll watch them all and then vote so you can see how wrong you are.

Phoebe: I think Mermaidia was my favorite when I was younger?

Jasper: The ONLY valid part of Mermaidia was the gay rivals-to-lovers relationship between Elina and Nori

Charlotte: You’re right and you should say it.

Henry: u guys are really doing twelve danicng princesses like this huh

Charlotte: Go back to sleep, Kid Idiot.

Henry: MAKE ME

Charlotte: Oh?

Henry: just kidding dont love uuuuuu

Max: did u guys really just get into barbie movie discourse on main

Phoebe: Max. 

Phoebe: Do I need to expose you?

Max: phoebe shut the fuck up challenge

Phoebe: He collects them in a box under his bed.

Max: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

Max: you better watch your FUCKING back

Phoebe: I’m terrified.

Max: also now that i have nothing to hide 

Max: YOU GUYS REALLY LEFT OUT ISLAND PRINCESS. 

Jasper: Oh shit u right

Max: no other film will ever have what island princess had 

Max: that movie is superior in every single way. 

Phoebe: Barbie discourse aside, though, movie night sounds really fun!

Arc: Its halloween month so we’re obligated to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas at least one (1) time

Jasper: Fair enough

Jasper: Okay Saturday. Henrys house. 7 pm. Be there or be straight

Sage: well fuck we can’t do that now can we

Prudence: Did you just invite us to...Henry’s house?

Jasper: Yes I can do that

Jasper: Its called best friend privileges

Max: i thought charlotte was his best friend?

Jasper: WHAT?

Ciara: you just have to start shit don’t you.

Max: what can i say, i thrive on chaos.


Ciara ➜ Fishboy

Thursday, Oct. 3, 4:19 PM EST

Ciara: okay truth or dare

Arc: Dare >:)

Ciara: you think you’re so edgy

Ciara: serenade me 

Arc: Bruh what

Ciara: you know sing me a dramatic love song

Ciara: i will accept nothing less than FULL broadway

Facetime from Fishboy 4:21 PM EST

Facetime ended 5:13 PM EST


Group Chat: spoopy season

Thursday, Oct. 3, 5:15 PM EST

Ciara: this just in arc is a bastard with the voice of an angel

Arc: Thanks i think

Ciara: i got serenaded today

Warwick: owo?

Arc: It was a dare that’s important context!

Jasper: Damn I wish someone would serenade me

Charlotte: @HenryHart

Charlotte: I did what you’re too much of a coward to do.

Jasper: SHUT UP


Arc ➜ Princess

Thursday, Oct. 3, 10:47 PM EST

Arc: Okay truth or dare?

Ciara: truth

Arc: Uh

Arc: Okay

Arc: Im just curious

Arc: Do you and Henry have like a thing

Arc: Like do you have actual feelings for him

Ciara: no

Ciara: i mean he’s cute and it’s fun to joke around with him but...i don’t like him like that

Ciara: so um

Ciara: would it make a difference to you if i did?

Arc: What if I picked dare?

Ciara: you’re impossible

Ciara: i dare you to answer honestly

Arc: Fuck you cheater

Arc: I dont know, I guess?

Arc: I mean in the sense that we’re friends and I just want to know whats going on with you and whos in your life and stuff

Ciara: right

Ciara: makes sense.

Arc: Yeah


Arc ➜ Princess

Friday, Oct. 4, 12:29 AM EST

Arc: Okay fuck it.

Ciara: what?

Arc: Truth or dare?

Ciara: it’s too late for this

Arc: Technically its early

Arc: Just pick one

Ciara: fine truth

Arc: Okay, you want to go to the Fall Festival together?

Arc: Prudy’s in the pie eating contest and Warwick said he’s putting together a magic performance, so do you want to just go together?

Arc: Like y’know

Arc: As friends

Ciara: okay, yeah

Ciara: that sounds fun :)

Arc: Awesome

Arc: Coolcoolcoolcoolcool

Chapter Text

Group Chat: spoopy season

Thursday, Oct. 10, 3:41 PM EST

Henry: today in fourth period i overheard bitch milsky talking about how don’t stop me now by queen is a banger 

Henry: which like. hes right but also. he called me the f slur like two days ago

Henry: so...does he Know? is he Aware?

Charlotte: Has Mitch ever had knowledge of anything in his entire life, ever?

Jasper: M*tch has fewer brain cells than I do which I think says a lot

Henry: ok ur right

Henry: anyway i propose we make a list of things that cishets arent allowed to touch

Henry: allies can stay but theyre on thin fucking ice

Henry: queen is at the top of the list obv

Jasper: Mamma Mia is for girls and gays ONLY 

Phoebe: Facts!!

Sage: if any of you straights even LOOK at marina and the diamonds i will stomp you to death with my hooves

Ciara: may i add the entire percy jackson franchise

Ciara: i know a cwsb (Cis Straight White Boy) wrote it BUT if you think that a straight person could sit through five books of percy and annabeth quietly Yearning for each other while also trying to save the world then you are sadly mistaken

Max: yeah if you read percy jackson as a kid you’re bisexual now i don’t make the rules

Jasper: You just a”bi”de by them? :)))))

Max: can i remove him

Jasper: Nooo :((((

Max: also homophobes can keep the pjo movies we don’t claim them

Ciara: can we just say that all of greek mythology is exclusively for gay people?

Phoebe: Of course we can, there was literally an Ancient Greek poet named Sappho who was from the island Lesbos

Max: fellas…

Charlotte: And then there was Achilles and Patroclus...Apollo and Hyakinthos...Dionysus and Prosymnus...the list just doesn’t end.

Henry: damn imagine being educated

Warwick: Yeah gtfo of here with your “well-read” bullshit

Warwick: this is a place EXCLUSIVELY for dumbasses

Arc: Yeah fuck smart people!

Henry: im trying

Ciara: SJDHFK

Max: eye—


Group Chat: spoopy season

Thursday, Oct. 10, 7:18 PM EST

Max: due to personal reasons i will be passing away

Jasper: What happened?

Max: i don’t want to talk about it

Phoebe: We went to get coffee and he and the barista were hardcore flirting

Max: PHOEBE DON’T MAKE ME RELIVE MY TRAUMA

Phoebe: And then when we were leaving, the barista said “Enjoy your drink!”

Jasper: Oh no

Jasper: You didn’t

Max: his name was timothy and he WI N KE D AT ME

Phoebe: Max, in true Disaster Bi fashion, said “You too!” and then tried to do finger guns which made him promptly DROP HIS COFFEE and almost slip in it 

Henry: oh my fucking god—

Prudence: Even Max isn’t immune to Gay Panic

Max: it’s a crippling affliction :(

Ciara: did you at least get his number?
Max: BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I’M EVER GOING TO FACE HIM AGAIN

Max: the starbucks across the street from the library is now off-limits i wouldn’t go within a ten foot radius of that place even if dark mayhem himself held a gun to my head and tried to force me

Phoebe: Why would Dark Mayhem need a gun? He has plasma blasts.

Max: it’s for the cinematography of it all phoebe

Max: this is why you never would’ve succeeded as a villain

Max: 40% of what they do comes from a need for drama and the other 60% is out of spite

Max: why would you use a plasma blast when you could have the poeticness of a villain pressing the barrel of a gun against the head of the man who betrayed him, reminding him that in the end, he is the one with all of the power. all the bullshit about family and doing the right thing doesn’t mean anything when it comes down to the reality of this world, which is that sometimes heroes lose and when that happens the traitors will be the first to fall because no matter how hard they try they can never really pull themselves away from the darkness. they condemned themselves to it the moment they made their choice.

Ciara: do you like. need therapy.

Max: yup!


Group Chat: spoopy season

Friday, Oct. 11, 6:16 PM EST

Phoebe: Why is #LetKidDangerSayFuck trending on Twitflash

Phoebe: Henry what did you do

Henry: i didnt do anything!

Henry: we were chasing a bad guy and i said “fuck” bc he had a knife (everyones fine dw) but then ray said “watch your language” and apparently the news caught this

Ciara: there’s a petition with like 700 signatures i’m losing it

Max: the people have spoken and they REALLY want you to say fuck

Henry: its what i deserve


Max Thunderman ➜ Charlotte Page-Bolton

Friday, Oct. 11, 8:25 PM EST

Max: so you’re intelligent

Charlotte: Thank you for noticing?

Max: you’re welcome!

Max: i have a proposition

Charlotte: If it involves breaking the law (or school rules) or engaging in other morally questionable things I’m going to have to tap out now.

Max: my existence is morally questionable 

Max: so technically just by talking to me you’re doing something Wrong

Charlotte: Is that my cue to leave?

Max: wait wait wait it’s a serious proposition

Max: the science fair is coming up and i want to win and i’m guessing you also want to win

Charlotte: So you want to be partners?

Max: more like you’d be my lab assistant

Charlotte: Uh yeah, no thank you.

Max: i’m JOKING

Max: partners

Max: with our combined genius we’d have the whole thing in a bag

Max: not that i need you but we’re required to work with a partner and as much as i love oyster he can barely tie his shoes

Charlotte: Wow you’re such a wonderful friend!

Charlotte: But pairing up actually does sound like a good idea.

Charlotte: You’re not gonna make me do all the work, right?
Max: i’m gonna give you that one considering that if it were any other subject you’d be totally right

Max: but i live for science and i thrive on competition

Charlotte: Okay then! Partners it is.

Max: sweet. 


Group Chat: spoopy season

Saturday, Oct. 12, 8:16 PM EST

Jasper: Okay guys who’s your favorite of the Skinny Brown-Haired White Boys it’s for science

Charlotte : Timothée Chalamet entirely because I had a massive crush on Lorie from Little Women growing up and he played him SO well

Phoebe: Harry Styles because YES I was a Directioner in middle school and NO I will not apologize for it

Phoebe: The stereotype of Directioners being cringey fangirls who scream all the time and only care about how cute the boys were was perpetuated by misogynists who like putting young girls down for enjoying things like YES some of them were annoying but that’s true for the fans of anything. These were kids who just wanted to use music as a way to express themselves and built friendships and a whole community through a shared interest and wanted to show their love and support for people who impacted them and society acted like that made them bad people that should be ashamed. They RIDICULED them for it and it was disgusting. The sexism of it all.

Charlotte: A little louder for the people in the back.

Arc: Um go off ma’am!!!!!

Arc: My fav is also Harry Styles he’s an Icon and he’s Hot

Ciara: tom holland and i’m not going to provide reasoning for it because i know fully well that i don’t need to.

Sage: bold of you to assume i care about men

Charlotte: SJHDF valid

Max: also tom holland

Warwick: you guys are really doing joshua bassett like this smh…

Warwick: soft boy of the CENTURY

Jasper: No fuck all of you honestly

Jasper: Basic bitches paying ross lynch in DUST 

Jasper: Have you forgotten austin and ally? teen beach movie? His portrayal of harvey FUCKING kinkle? That video of him singing with the buttons of his shirt undone and his lips pressed against the microphone? Don’t even PRETEND you didn’t dream of being that mic!!!!!!!!!

Jasper: Ross sweetie i’m SO sorry you’re not appreciated here.

Jasper: You guys are all like “timothee! Joshua! shawn!” when you’ve forgotten your fucking roots.

Ciara: hey NONE of us said shawn mendes 

Jasper: Go get some taste and then come back and talk to me. 

Henry: oh jasper fuckin snapped


Henry Hart ➜ arrow girl

Sunday, Oct. 13, 11:21 AM EST

Henry: are you a dictionary?

Ciara: why because i bring meaning to your life?

Henry: hey you ruined it :(

Ciara: it’s not my fault you’re getting predictable

Ciara: work harder next time

Henry: im doing my BEST 

Ciara: if you wanna woo me you have to WOO me

Henry: LMAO okay woo is such a funny word like srsly who comes up with this stuff

Ciara: Merriam Webster Himself

Henry: king

Ciara: nah fuck him i lost the fifth grade spelling bee because i couldn’t spell necessary


Group Chat: Phoenix Squad

Sunday, Oct. 13, 1:38 PM EST

Prudence: WE MADE FRIENDS

Prudence: Sent an image.

Ciara: Sent an image.

Prudence: They are the best things in the world. Mine is named Winston and he’s my entire emotional support system.

Warwick: Ciara why does yours have a KNIFE

Ciara: because her name is kiera knife-ly and she takes after her mother :)

Arc: Hang on

Arc: Hang on

Arc: Wait

Arc: DID YOU GUYS GO TO FUCKING BUILD-A-BEAR WITHOUT US?

Prudence: We wanted a girl’s dayyy

Arc: BUT. BUILD-A-BEAR

Arc: I CANNOT BELIEVE TWO OF MY BEST FRIENDS WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THIS.

Arc: I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD MEANT SOMETHING BUT I GUESS NONE OF IT’S BEEN REAL. I GUESS YOU WERE ONLY EVER PRETENDING TO CARE ABOUT ME, AND I LET YOU INTO MY HEART NOT KNOWING HOW MUCH IT WOULD HURT

Arc: OUR FRIENDSHIP IS BUILT ON LIES. 

Ciara: what if we told you we made bears for you and warwick?

Arc: :D


Group Chat: spoopy season

Monday, Oct. 14, 12:16 AM EST

Henry: do people under 5’ deserve rights

Max: no

Arc: No

Phoebe: No

Sage: no

Jasper: No

Buttercup: Sometimes?

Prudence: No

Warwick: No

Charlotte: YES

Henry: did someone say something

Charlotte: SCREW YOU

Chapter Text

Group Chat: spoopy season 

Sunday, Oct. 20, 10:31 AM EST

Prudence: Okay movie night last night was SO MUCH FUN

Ciara: except the part where arc won’t stop quoting mean girls please help

Arc: I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me

Ciara: stop

Arc: Boo, you whore

Ciara: for the love of GOD

Jasper: Can we please do this again sometime that was the best

Phoebe: Yesss I had such a great time!

Phoebe: Thanks for hosting Henry!

Henry: not like i had a choice since jasper volunteered my house

Jasper: You’re welcome :PP


Group Chat: flaming birds

Monday, Oct. 21, 12:22 AM EST

Warwick: oKAY IDEA  

Warwick: STAR WARS CHARACTERS FOR HALLOWEEN

Warwick: Those movies are my new obsession

Arc: DUDE YES

Arc: I call Han!

Ciara: i call leia!

Warwick: YES I get Luke
Prudence: THAT MEANS I GET TO BE CHEWIE?

Prudence: YES OMG

Prudence: I LOVE THIS

Arc: We’re really about to be the superior squad huh

Ciara: as usual <3

Prudence: When are we not the superior squad??

Prudence: Broooo do you guys wanna get McDonalds
Warwick: Like rn?

Ciara: its past midnight on a school night

Prudence: Yeah and ?

Arc: YES omg

Arc: i just spent two hours trying to figure out my chem hw i need a happy meal stat

Ciara: ...fuck it i could rlly go for a cheap milkshake right now

Warwick: As long as u dont dip your fries in them like a weirdo im so in

Arc: Hey fries in milkshakes SLAP

Ciara: for once i agree with arc ur just wrong

Prudence: Okay you can debate this on the way there

Prudence: See you guys in 15 !!


Group Chat: spoopy season

Monday, Oct. 21, 11:09 PM EST

Jasper: Do you guys want to read the 8-page essay I wrote abt how Danny Phantom is a thinly-veiled metaphor for being trans instead of writing my lit paper

Prudence: Heck yes

Jasper: Link - Google Docs: Trans Icon Danny “Phantom” Fenton

Max: iconic

Max: send it to bitch hartman

Jasper: I don’t have his email :(

Max: one sec

Warwick: Okay but important question why do so many superhero origin stories read like coming out stories

Arc: FACTS

Henry: its the ~having a whole other side of you that you have to keep a secret from your friends and family~

Sage: false it’s the raw unadulterated power that comes with being queer

Ciara: this is true

Arc: The S in LGBTQ+ stands for Superheroes

Charlotte: Well I mean, we are the Gay Superhero Alliance

Prudence: Wait important question is Captain Man gay

Henry: captain man is bisexual

Henry: but also homophobic

Warwick: ...How does that work?

Henry: honestly? i have no idea.

Max: i set up a program that will spam bitch hartman’s private email with the trans danny phantom essay every hour

Jasper: How did you…?

Max: don’t ask questions

Prudence: You’re a national hero. 


Group Chat: spoopy season

Tuesday, Oct. 22, 9:18 PM EST

Max: guess who just took home first place at the science fair :)

Charlotte: Sent an image .

Charlotte: WE WON!

Henry: N E R D S 

Henry: jkjkjk congratssss

Arc: YES i knew you guys would win!!

Jasper: AW GOOD JOB IM SO PROUD :DD

Phoebe: Okay normally I’d be upset because they beat me but the anti-gravity field generator is maybe the coolest thing ever! And I got to play with it so I’m good.

Sage: you guys built an anti gravity field generator for the school science fair

Max: *in two weeks

Sage: what henry said, but without the jk

Sage: as in NERDS

Max: so i guess that means you’re not interested in the laser guided rocket launcher i built entirely out of motorcycle parts?

Phoebe: I’m sorry the WHAT

Sage: ...go on

Ciara: congrats guys that’s so awesome!! it makes sense that no one is any match for your combined brainpower

Warwick: FR you two are like the smartest people ever

Charlotte: Aww you guys are way too sweet shsgskdjd

Max: idk i think they have a point i mean i can’t speak for you but personally i’m kind of a genius

Ciara: aaand you ruined it

Phoebe: Do you expect any less from him?

Max: what can i say, it’s a gift


Charlotte Page-Bolton ➜ Redemption Arc Incarnate

Tuesday, Oct. 22, 9:29 PM EST

Charlotte: Hey listen

Charlotte: I just wanted to say I actually had a really good time with you this week

Charlotte: It was nice to, for once, work with someone who actually cared about what I had to say and I appreciate that.

Max: you don’t have to thank me for not being a dick lmao that’s a pretty low bar you’re setting for yourself

Max: but i had fun with you too

Max: it was nice to have an intellectual partner who isn’t a talking rabbit 

Max: and dare i say it i think we made a pretty good team

Charlotte: Careful Thunderboy, your feelings are showing. 

Charlotte: But you’re right. We should definitely build stuff together more often.

Max: or y’know. not build stuff 

Charlotte: Oh?

Max: on a totally unrelated note are you going to the fall festival with anyone

Charlotte: Not currently.

Max: would you like to be?

Charlotte: I guess that would depend on who was asking me.

Max: i know a friend who might be interested in taking you

Max: he’s really cool, don’t worry

Max: hilarious, kind of a genius

Max: great hair

Max: cute smile

Max: i hear he’s got a dark side

Charlotte: I might just be willing to give that guy a shot. 

Charlotte: Tell your friend to pick me up at 7 on Friday.

Max: will do ;)


Max Thunderman ➜ The Brain Cell

Tuesday, Oct. 22, 9:40 PM EST

Max: (just to be totally clear, the friend is me)

Charlotte: *surprised pikachu.jpeg*


Group Chat: discount golden trio

Tuesday, Oct. 22, 9:43 PM

Charlotte: Guys,,, can we ft omg I’m so excited right now

Henry: ye

Jasper: Ooh spill

Facetime from Charlotte 9:44 PM EST
Facetime ended 10:28 PM EST

Charlotte Page-Bolton left the chat.


Jasper Dunlop ➜ Soulmate

Tuesday, Oct. 22, 10:33 PM EST

Jasper: Dude

Jasper: I think Charlotte’s really hurt

Henry: i didnt do anything

Jasper: Hen, you were kind of acting like a jerk 

Jasper: And I think you know it

Henry: wtf no i wasnt

Henry: and shes the one whos bailing on us

Jasper: We didn’t actually make plans to go together yknow

Henry: yeah but we always do this stuff together

Henry: it was,,, implied

Jasper: You know I love you but you sound like such an ass rn

Jasper: She seemed really excited about going with Max and I think you’re ruining it

Henry: im ruining it??? hes a total dick!

Jasper: You don’t actually think that

Henry: he sold me and ray out to a bunch of villains the first time we met!

Jasper: Yeah but he’s clearly changed and up until today you didn’t really care about that

Jasper: I think maybe you’re jealous

Henry: im not jealous jasper

Jasper: Okay whatever you are she’s upset 

Henry: so what do you want me to do about it

Jasper: Idk apologize??

Henry: for what exactly

Jasper: Being passive aggressive

Jasper: Acting like we’re entitled to her

Henry: she can date whoever she wants i dont care

Jasper: Sure you dont 

Jasper: Just tell her youre sorry!!

Henry: dude she’ll be over it in like a day okay just leave it

Jasper: I’m not just gonna leave it 

Jasper: I hate it when u guys fight 

Henry: no ones fighting !

Henry: its fine !!! 

Henry: give it a rest, jasper

Henry: i have to finish my hw


Piper Hart ➜ brother in law

Thursday, Oct. 23, 8:29 PM EST

Piper: okay so are you gonna tell me why my brother has been moping for the past few days

Piper: because he’s clearly upset but he refuses to talk to me

Jasper: Hes upset because Char’s mad at him

Piper: what did he do

Jasper: Well Char is going to the fall festival with this guy named Max in the grade above us

Piper: max like max thunderman

Piper: like the guy who keeps pulling pranks on principal bradford ?

Jasper: Yup that Max

Piper: damn that’s an unexpected pair

Piper: so he and char are like dating now? that explains why henry’s so upset

Piper: why is char mad

Jasper: Well idk if Id say theyre dating

Jasper: But well when Char told us Henry was kind of being a jerk

Jasper: He brought up all this stuff Max did when he was a super villain and sort of acted like Char was betraying us or smthn

Jasper: Idk he wasnt straight up mad just passive aggressive but Char was really excited about it and hes acting so jealous

Piper: ugh hen can be such an ass sometimes

Piper: i’ll try to talk to him

Piper: what about you?

Jasper: What about me

Piper: aren’t you jealous?

Jasper: Uhmm why would you say that 

Piper: dude i know you like her too don’t even try

Jasper: Okay fine! I mean im not thrilled that she’s not going with us

Jasper: Kind of felt like it would be me and Hen and Char forever but 

Jasper: Thats very stupidly naive

Jasper: And if shes happy w Max I’m not gonna ruin it for her

Jasper: Also I have plenty of experience with liking people who dont like me back so Im well trained

Piper: jasper,

Jasper: OoPS gotta go study for my history test!!!! Bye!!

Piper: dude wait 

✔️ Read 8:57 PM EST