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Old & New Habits

Summary:

A look into the lives of Civ and Rex before, during, and after the events of Habits

Notes:

We're back at it! Enjoy

Chapter 1: Aftermath

Chapter Text

Rex thrashed beside you, fighting an invisible enemy, and you let out a long sigh. It'd been a month since he'd returned you to, and you'd try to create some new normalcy in your life. You made a little garden, spent time with each other, learned to live off the land. Every day was still lived in fear that someone would come looking, someone would see Rex and recognize him, but you made it work.

Rex was still haunted by his demons and his dreams, now more than ever. Because he believed he was a deserter, his whole world telling him that he was wrong for doing the right thing. He had none of his brothers with him, and that's what hurt the most. He was alone, and despite you being there and telling him otherwise, he hated it. 

Almost every night, for the past what? 4 weeks? He'd had nightmares or bad dreams, and you hated being helpless against it. Rex thrashes against and you sit up. "Cyare, you're alright." You know better than to get in his space, a black eye two weeks ago proving Rex wasn't in control at night. "Rex, wake up, please. You're here, with me, at home, and you're safe." Your words fell on deaf ears, and even as you repeated it, you felt like you were talking to a brick wall. 

If your voice didn't stir him, your touch would. You reach over and gently cup his face, and his hand flies to your wrist as he eyes fly open, and you smile down at him reassuringly as he takes in his settings again. You watch his eyes dart around the room, over you, as the tension slowly bleeds from him and his grip loosens around your wrist. You feel his hand tremble slightly around yours, and his eyes find yours with a sigh. "I'm sorry." 

"It's alright, Rex." You say as he presses a kiss to the inside of your wrist and lets it go, and you let your hand drift up to card through his hair. "It was just another dream." 

"Just another dream."He repeats, snaking his hand around your waist to pull you closer. He shuffles to sit up and tucks his head against your shoulder as he lets out a shaky breath. He mumbles something, and you gently run a hand through his hair. 

"What was that, cyare?" He pulls away to look at you, and you still hate seeing the pain in his eyes on nights like these. 

For Rex, his dreams are memories. Plain, real, and haunting. Being a slave, killing a brother, deserting his family, watching those he loved around him die. You know better than to ask him about his dreams and wait for him to answer. "I miss Cody." He finally admits, and you gently swipe a thumb over his cheek reassuringly. 

"I know, I do too." You press a kiss to his forehead and place yours against his, a comforting motion. "He didn't deserve this." 

"No one did," Rex responds with a sigh. "I wish I could go back in time and get that one last drink with him." 

"Well, I'm pretty sure he didn't like the reason he got that free drink." You say with a smile, and Rex chuckles softly. 

Rex could've been through hell, woken up from nightmare after nightmare, but you still found a way to put a smile on his face. "You should've seen him in person, I don't think Cody's ever been that red." 

"Maker, I bet." You yawn and take a glance out the window, the sun just coming up over the horizon.

"Did I wake you?" Rex asks softly, and you smile back at him.

"No, those stupid birds outside did." You lie, and Rex laughs softly. "We really should've planned this better." 

He presses his lips to yours in a quick kiss. "You're the one who chose Naboo." 

"You're the one who recommended it." You mutter and Rex grins, hands finding your waist and flipping you so that he can hover above you, one hand planted by your head. 

"You're the one who started that conversation." He says before leaning down and kissing you with a grin. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss, playing with the hair on his back of his head. 

"You're the one who fell asleep on me." You say as you pull away, and Rex laughs again, but there's a hollowness to it, still recovering from his dreams. His one hand moves to your waist, tugging you up closer to him. 

"You're the one who let me." He dives in for another kiss and you let your fingers rake through his hair with a sigh. 

Truth be told, this whole situation started with a speeder he broke, but you're not going to go there. "You've got me there." 

"So, the birds are your fault." Rex leans his forehead against yours with a smile, and you could've laid there forever, until there's a crash from downstairs that sends you both flying out of bed, Rex to grab a blaster and you to throw on your jumpsuit, not intent on fighting a home invader in your underwear.

Rex motions for you to stay put as he creeps into the hallway and down the stairs, and against his orders, you follow a few paces behind, and he raises the blaster, turns, and then proceeds to drop it. You wonder what could possibly be going on, and Rex darts into the kitchen with a gasp. 

You creep down the stairs and peek around the corner and can't help the squeal you let out in shock. Because Fives (along with another clone) stand in your kitchen, and your brain short circuits. His hair's gone wild, he's let his beard grow out more, but it's so obviously Fives you can't help but grin. Rex has him in the biggest hug you've ever seen him give someone, and Fives hugs back, just as tight. 

Fives had been MIA since the Order, and Rex worried endlessly about him. There was a reason the picture Rex kept on his bedside table was of him, Fives, Echo, and Cody. You watch with a stupid smile on your face as Rex reaches out a hand and tugs Echo into a group hug, and you wished you had something to take a photo with.

"You're a kriffing idiot, Fives." Is the first thing Rex says to him. "You didn't think to call?" 

"I wasn't exactly in the position to call without either giving away yours, or my position." Fives pulls away with a grin and spots you standing at the bottom of the stairs. His eyes widen and he runs to you, arms wrapping around your waist to spin you around with a laugh. "Same jumpsuit? Some things never change." 

"Oh, shut up and hug me." Fives sets you down and pulls you into a hug, burying his face into his shoulder. You hug back and miss this feeling of friends, of family. So far, it's been you and Rex. Sure, Luca would stop by, but it wasn't the same. "I was so worried about you." You whisper, and Fives doesn't respond right away. 

Instead, his grip tightens, and you feel his chest shake. "I've missed you, Civvie." 

"The worlds really turned upside-down, huh?" Fives pulls away with a laugh, and you don't miss the shine in his eyes, and you feel tears well up inside you, too. You're taken back to the old days, to all the brash moments and whispered jokes and shared drinks at 79's, of hugs in hallways and shaking goodbyes. It makes you miss everyone so much more, thinking of what used to be. 

Who would've thought this all came to fighting backs tears at a far too early hour in the morning, hugging each other for the first time in what felt like years?

"You have no idea." Fives steps aside with a cough, trying to hide the emotion, and you watch Rex make small talk with the clone you don't know, and Fives follows your gaze. He clamps a hand on the clone's shoulder and gestures to you with a smile. "Civ, I'd like you to meet Echo." 

So this must be the famous Echo you've heard Rex talk about in his dreams. "I've heard so much about you." You say, and Echo smiles down at you as Fives slaps a hand onto his back.

"Echo, meet Civ. She's Rex's girlfriend." Fives says with a wink, and you can see the confusion over Echo's face.

"Rex's what?" Echo's head whips to stare at Rex, who blushes under the scrutiny. "I'm gone for a bit and you get a girlfriend?" 

Rex's blush deepens and you can't help but smile. "I know, I'm just as surprised." Fives turns to beam at you. "Now, when am I getting a niece or nephew? I have some great baby names picked out - how do you like Fives Junior?" 

"Fives!" Rex exclaims, red in the face. 

"What! It's a good baby name." You smack his arm and move into the kitchen, turning on the caf machine. 

You haven't talked about anything like that with Rex yet. Marriage, or kids. Right now, you're living for the moment, day to day, and you're not sure where that could lead. You turn and wave a finger at Fives and scowl. "I have a bone to pick with you." 

"Oh?" You pull four mugs from the cupboard. 

"Next time, can't you knock? Or maybe not scare us at an ungodly hour in the morning?" Fives laughs and takes a seat at the counter as Rex leans beside you, taking the first ready cup of caf. 

"It was a surprise!" Rex gives Fives his old 'I'm the captain, don't test me look', and Fives grumble as you hand him a mug. "Fine. Look at it this way, you get to spend all day with us, then we'll be out of your hair." 

You and Rex exchange a look, then turn back to Fives and Echo, who now sat silently beside Fives. "You're leaving? When?" 

"Probably tonight, maybe tomorrow morning. Echo's heard of other clones without chips, we want to go looking for them." He says, and you take a long sip from your mug. 

"That's extremely dangerous! It could be a trap for the separatists to find unchipped clones." Rex snaps and you understand his anger- He just got his brothers back, he doesn't want them to leave again. 

"But what if there's more out there like us? We should be together." This is a fight brewing, and everyone can feel it. "I've made up my mind, Rex. I can't sit by and let the world pass me by." 

"I'm not letting the world pass me by, Fives. I'm staying low and staying safe." Rex snaps, and you gently place a hand on his arm which he shakes away. "What you're doing is rash and foolish." 

Fives stands up from his chair, glaring Rex down with the most serious look you've ever seen him have. "What I'm doing is finding my brothers, do they mean nothing to you?" 

"They mean everything to me - But we both know we're the only ones without chips because the rest are dead. Don't you get it? This is a set-up." Rex says, angrily setting his mug down.

"And if it's not? What if there are more clones out there lost and alone? Like we were?" Fives crosses the room to stand in front of Rex. "You're a captain, Rex, it's time you start acting like one. Not hiding away for the rest of your life because you're a coward."  

"Call me a coward again, Fives. Do you know what I did for you? I was the one who believed you, kept you alive, made you an ARC Trooper. I'm doing the right thing and keeping myself alive." Rex jabs a finger into Fives chest, and Fives grabs Rex's hand and throws it away. 

Before, you would've stopped this. You would've done anything to stop it from coming to this, but you can hear the next words before Fives can even think them. "If you believed me then why is everyone we love dead?"

Rex's face slacks and you see the instant remorse on FIves face as Rex turns on his heel and storms out, and when you take a step to follow him Fives holds you back. "Fives-"

"Let him go, Civ." You shake your head and move his arm, and he sighs down at you. "I never should have said that." 

"I know Rex needs time, but he also needs a voice of reason." You say and Fives reaches out a hand to stop you, gently resting it on your shoulder. "Trust me, Fives."

You share a sad smile, knowing how while Rex can be brilliant, he can be as dumb as a rock sometimes. "You know, when everything went to hell, he was so worried about you. He never, ever shut up about you." 

"Really?" You ask and Fives nods enthusiastically. 

"You have no idea. So just...be there for him, when we can't." He says quietly, and you place your hand over his as tears swim in your eyes. 

"You'll come back to us, one way or another. But this time you better call, or Rex might actually kill you when you return next time." Next time. You pray there's a next time, or you're not sure how you or Rex could handle it. Losing Jesse, Cody, Kix, everyone else was one thing. Losing Fives? 

You try not to think about it as you rush down the front porch and wade through the waist-high grass to get to the riverbank, and Rex sits at the very edge, toes tipped in the water despite it being freezing. The sun has just risen, the sky a wonderful pale blue and pink, and the wind whips lightly around you. Rex looks up as you approach, and your heart hurts with how broken his expression is. "Hey, love." 

"Hey, Rex." You sit cross-legged beside him, and he gently places a hand on your knee. 

"I should be better than this. I'm-I was a captain, a good soldier, I'm used to men leaving." The way he admits it makes your heart sink further in your chest, and you place your hand over his. "But maker, Fives? Fives is going to get himself killed." 

"He believes he's doing the right thing." You say, and Rex turns his head to watch you speak. "And...And maybe I don't think it's the right thing either, but Fives needs this. If he knows, deep down, this is what he needs to do, then as much as we love him, we can't stop him." 

Rex falls silent for a long moment and slowly turns his head to look out at the water. "Am I...Am I bad brother? Should I be out looking for everyone or trying to help?" The words hit deep, and you can't help the stray tears that go.

"Rex, you are not a bad brother. Your brothers love you so much," Loved. Loved him so much. You wrap both of your hands around his and squeeze, and he slips one hand out to cup your cheek and wipe at a tear. "But you have to realize there's nothing you can do for them now." 

"The man I used to be would have joined Fives in a heartbeat, and gone searching across the galaxy for answers and reasons and try to put this big mess back together." His thumb swipes over your cheek again, even as no tears fall. "But I...I've changed. And I don't know why. I'm less bold, I'm worrying all the time-" 

"You're growing up." You say with a hint of a laugh, the thought absurd. "You're realizing that the man you used to be, while daring and brave and the perfect soldier, even he had flaws. The man you used to be would've gone on that hunt for the truth and wound up dead. The man you are now knows that the ideas foolish. But deep down, tell me you don't want to go searching for brothers and answers." 

He doesn't reply right away, and that answers your question for you. Rex has changed since you've met him - Maker, he's changed because he met you. He's become less brash, more critical, but he'll still be the same Rex at the end of the day, maybe with a few more grey hairs or battle wounds. "Am I doing the right thing, Civ?" 

"Only you can answer that for sure, Rex. But trust me when I say whatever choices you make, I'll be at your side." You nudge his shoulder with yours and sniff. "Unless they're the truly stupid ones, in which case, I'll be the first to hit you upside the head." 

"Thanks, cyare." He leans and presses a kiss to your temple. He takes in the view for a moment and laughs, and you wonder what could possibly be funny at this moment. "We've gotten old, haven't we?" 

"Hey, I don't have any grey hairs. Yet." You find his hand and squeeze it with a smile. "But I think we might've gotten old." 

He gestures around you. "House, little farm, maker, the other day we were excited because our tomato plant finally started to grow. What happened to us?" 

"We became civilians." Rex gives you a look, and a grin splits across your face. "Well, you became a civilian." 

"Is this was normal life is like? So...mundane?" He asks, gentle and quiet, like the fact surprised him. You lean in and press a kiss to his cheek, and when you pull away he presses your forehead against his. 

"This is what life is like, Rex. It might be a bit boring, compared to what you're used to. But you get to choose your path." His brow furrows slightly, likely deep in thought of what path Rex wants. You reach up and cup his cheek, and he leans into the touch. "You know, when I was younger, I dreamed of being the best fighter pilot in the galaxy." 

Rex huffs out a laugh at your admission and pulls back slightly. "Is that so?" 

"Then I wanted to be a doctor, then I wanted to be a princess, then I wanted to be a teacher. I went through school to become an engineer and ended up a mechanic in a war, then I turned into a farmer. Your path is going to twist and turn so many times, let me tell you. So it might seem daunting right now, choosing your own path, but one day you'll discover what it's meant to be." The words settle in the air and you watch him take them in.

"What's your path?" Rex asks, and you lean back and let the wind whirl around you, wondering what your path was. Was it to meet Rex? To do something good for others? To become a farmer, of all things? 

"I think my path is to help others. I mean, I fought for the republic, I did relief missions, I helped you get a good nights sleep. Yes, helping others is my path." Rex's gaze turns away from you slowly. 

"I think I'm done." He says as he picks up a stone and tosses it into the water. "I think my path was to fight for the republic. To be a captain." 

He turns to look at you and you're suddenly overcome with emotion, from just how far you've come. From nothing to something, from captain to farmer, from a world at war to a peace that shouldn't exist. "What now, then?" 

"I'm going to be a farmer, at some little cottage by a river, with my..." He hesitates over what to call you, and you understand why. Rex has never really called you a girlfriend before, even around others. "With you, and spend the rest of my life doing what I missed when I was a soldier." 

"I like the sound of that." You stay there for a while, just watching the river and letting tears dry. Footsteps echo behind you and Fives falls down to sit on the other side of Rex, and picks up a rock and tries to skip it. You see Rex tense, expecting a fight, but as time drags on and Fives remains silent until he skips a rock five times, Rex slowly relaxes.
"How do you work your toaster?" He asks, voice breaking slightly, and Rex gives him a shove. "Alright, alright, I came to say I'm sorry. I overstepped a line." 

Rex shakes his head with a smile. "We both overstepped a line. But...But if finding others is what you want to do, I'm not going to stop you." 

"And if you staying here is what you want to do, I won't judge you for it." Fives smiles as he plays with a stone. "Hey, maybe you will make me a little niece or nephew someday." 

"You better be around to meet them." You say as you stand, brushing yourself off. "I don't want my kid not knowing how awesome his uncles are." 

"I mean, you can always tell them heroic stories of us." Fives stands with a groan. "But it's not the same as the real thing, is it?" 

You shake your head with a smile, and Rex remains sitting and watching the river. Rex looks up at you, a strange yet soft look on his face. "If we have a boy, can we name him Cody?" 

"Cody's a wonderful name," You say quietly, overcome with emotion again. Because of course, it's Cody, no other name could work. Fives holds out a hand and Rex takes it, pulling himself to his feet. 

"Now seriously, how do you work your toaster?" Fives asks as you make your way up the bank, and you and Rex both laugh. 

"We don't have a toaster." Fives stops at the top of the hill, and you both turn back to watch his confused expression. 

"Then what did I shove bread into?" 

-

"So, we're lost in a desert, with no air cover, and a droid battalion is approaching from the west and east. It's not looking good, when suddenly-" You'd spent all day catching up with Fives and Echo, showing them around your little farm and walking along the river. They didn't ask about the small memorial beside the house, or the fact that Rex still wore his armour, even when they'd gotten rid of them for civilian clothes.

Night had finally fallen, and Fives spirals into a story from the war, kicked back on your couch with a glass of wine in hand. You all sit around, exchanging stories and reliving the old days, you curled up into Rex's side as he cards his fingers through your hair as his listens intently, despite the fact he was there. "-And then the general whirls into the air with a giant kick, and he just-" 

"Should I tell him this is what he dreamed when he got heatstroke?" Rex whispers into your ear and you hide your laugh in your hand. 

"What's so funny, Civvie?" Fives asks, a glare on his face. "Not enjoying my story?" 

You and Rex change a look and you quickly shake your head. "Don't worry about it, Fives, honestly." 

"Uh-huh, sure." He gestures to you with his glass of wine. "So, what have you two lovebirds been up to?" 

"Farming. Fishing. Relaxing." Rex takes a swig of wine and sets his glass down on the side table. "For the first time ever, I've been bored." 

"We need to get you a job. Or a hobby." Fives snickers into his glass. "Besides talking about Civ." 

Rex's blush depends and he waves a finger at Fives. "I do more than just talking about Civ!" 

"Oh yeah?" Fives slurs softly, wine catching up with him. "Like what?" 

"Dancing," You fill in for him and Echo's mouth gapes open. 

"Rex? Dancing? Now the worlds truly gone mad." Echo stares into his empty drink. "How much have I had to drink?" 

Fives laughs and takes the radio in hand, and the first station on is Rex's, and it's the same slow tune from months earlier. "See? They're sappy romantics." 

"Are we sure this is Rex? Captain Rex?" Echo asks, and the tips of Rex's ears go pink. Fives stands and holds out a hand to you with a bow. 

"May I have this dance?" His eyes dart over to Rex's. "Can I dance with Civ?" 

"Yes, you can dance," Rex says with a laugh, and you take Fives hand and let him twirl you around. You've missed this, so much. You're not sure if it's Fives, or maybe other company, or the feeling of family. Because despite living here a month and making it your home, for the first time your cottage feels like home. 

You sway to the music with Fives, who hums along off-beat. "I'm glad to see your dancing skills survived, Fives." 

"My dance moves can never die, Civvie." He spins you and dips you, and you laugh. You catch Rex's gaze, and he's beaming. Ear to ear, the smile you've missed for so long, and all you can feel is love. Fives pulls you back up and giggles to himself, and Rex stands. 

"May I?" Fives steps back and Rex replaces him, easily picking up where you left off, hands on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck with a smile and press a quick kiss to his cheek. "I'm sorry for stealing your dance partner." 

"I don't mind." Rex spins you around, and you let your eyes slip closed as you move to the song, and everything feels right in the world again. No more stress, no more wars, just a group of friends relaxing once more and letting the music carry them away into the night.

Chapter 2: Dancers and Dreamers

Summary:

Takes place a few weeks after Chapter Seven of Habits

Chapter Text

Whenever Rex woke up from a nightmare, he remembered them vividly. Clones have eidetic memories, so anything that scars Rex he'll remember for the rest of his life. When you wake up from nightmares, it's always in bits and pieces. Flashes of blood, a face, a name. Ever since what happened with Buddy a few weeks ago, they've been more...realistic, to say the least. Tonight was no exception, even if you didn't fully remember it. 

You hate waking Rex up when you have a bad dream, knowing he needs his sleep, so you sit up and tremble, trying not to make a sound as the tears slip out. Rex's hand shifts from where it's normally laid on your side, and he pats around the mattress before yawning and looking up at you. "Cyare?" 

"I'm sorry-" Rex is sat up in an instant, hands cupping your face to wipe away the tears. 

"Hey, hey, everything's okay, I'm right here." You let a sob go and Rex cradles you to his chest and gently rocks back and forth. You tremble against him as bits and pieces from the dream replay in your head, and you can hear Rex's heart pounding in his chest. 

"B-bad dream," You manage to say, and Rex sighs softly into your hair. "I'm sorry," 

Rex leans back to wipe more tears away with a soft smile. "Don't apologize, it's alright. You're here with me, right? You're safe and warm, and I'm here." Rex reassures you, and you let out a low breath, trying to calm yourself. "It's just a bad dream, sweetheart." 

Sweetheart. You smile at the new name, reaching up a hand to wipe away tears. "I'm sorry I woke you," You croak, and Rex's hand drifts to gently play with your hair. 

"You have nothing to be sorry about, I've woken you up enough times with bad dreams." That much is true. Rex won't wake from them usually, but you can tell when he has them. He thrashes or starts to curse, going as far once to accidentally slap you in his dream. You never told him about it, because you knew he'd try to do anything and everything to make up for it. "We're in bed, at home on base. You're safe." 

"Maker, why...Why do our brains hate us?" Rex laughs at your question, and you feel his chest shake against you. 

"I don't know, Civ. I don't know." The last of the tears fade away and you pull back, letting out deep breaths. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

Rex, very often, refuses to talk about his dreams. You'd talk about yours if you could remember them, but even today, all you get is flashes of what happened. "I-I don't know, I was on a battlefield, and there...Fives was there, I think." 

"Just you and Fives?" Rex asks and you trace a hand over a scar on his arm. 

"I don't remember." You say, and Rex's hand closes over yours and he gives it a gentle squeeze. "All I remember is it was bad." 

"That's, um, that sucks," Rex is still learning how to calm you down and how to react, and he flubs over his words. "But it's okay now." 

You sigh and rest your forehead against his shoulder. "I don't even know what scared it, it's just like-" 

"Like your chest seized up." Rex fills in for you, and you look up at him as he speaks. "Like your paralyzed by fear and you don't even know what you're afraid of." 

"Yes, exactly." You sniff and Rex wipes a thumb over your cheek. "I feel like I've just run a race, my hearts going so fast." 

"Did you win?" Rex jokes, and you roll your eyes and smack at his chest. 

"Shush, you." You mutter, and Rex smiles. He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you relish in the feeling of his against you. "No, I don't think I won the race." 

Rex moves some hair from your face with a mock frown. "That's a shame." 

"I never was a good runner." You say with a yawn, and Rex just shakes his head with a laugh.

"Let's go back to sleep, okay?" Rex lays back down but you don't move, sleep the last thing on your mind. His hand tugs yours, and you shake your head. He props himself on one elbow and cocks an eyebrow, a trick it seems all clones know how to do. "Civ, you need to sleep." 

You just shake your head and look around your room, trying to find something, anything, to occupy yourself. Glancing at your desk, you slip from your bed and move over to the radio, turning on you and Rex's station. He grins lazily at you, rubbing sleep out of his eye with a laugh. "We're not dancing at this time of night." 

"If you dance with me I'll go back to bed." Truth be told, you didn't need to dance with Rex. But it was a comfort, being able to be close to him and listen to music, not a care in the world besides trying not to step on his feet. You hum along and hold your hands out with a small smile.  "Just one dance?" 

"You're crazy." Rex gets up from the bed and stretches, his back cracking. "I'm getting too old for this." 

"Nonsense. In like, clone years, aren't you twelve?" Rex rolls his eyes as his arms wrap around your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck and gently sway to the music, pressing your forehead to his shoulder and taking a deep breath. 

"I'm not twelve," Rex mutters into your hair. "In your years, I'm like...22? 24?" 

You laugh, looking up at him. "I'm older than you." 

"No, no you are not." Rex's eyes squint down and study you. "There's no way you're older than me!" 

"Holy kriff, I'm older than you!" You squeal and Rex grumbles, using your excitement as an excuse to spin you around. "You look old for 24." 

"I'm going to say that's the sleep talking, and not you, but you're on thin ice here, Cyare." You press a kiss to his cheek with a smile. You hum along to the song, letting your eyes slip close and picture yourself back on that dancefloor with Rex. Rex presses his lips to yours and you smile into the kiss, wondering what you'd be doing on nights like these without him. 

You pull away slowly as you run your fingers through his hair, looking up at him. Rex didn't look old, he just looked...mature? He looked like a man who'd been put through war, with a mark between his eyebrows from furrowing them too much and a few small scars littering his face.

Truth be told, you were approximately sixth months older than Rex, but he didn't need to know that. "You look mature." Rex rolls his eyes and looks away. "I like it." 

"You like that I look mature?" Rex asks, incredulous, and you laugh softly into his shoulder. 

"Makes you hotter." You mumble, and Rex laughs with you, a full-body laugh that makes him stop dancing.

"Maker, I love you, Civ." You both still, not used to proclaiming your love for each other. "I-I mean-" 

"I love you too, Rex." You press a kiss to his lips as the song ends, and he picks you up bridal style. "Rex!" 

You still hadn't gotten used to how strong he is. You've once seen him deadlift a crate of ammunition and not break a sweat. "I'm not going to drop you, relax." 

"You're the worst." Rex tosses you onto your bed with a laugh and crawls in beside you. 

"And you need to sleep." Rex slips his arm around you and tucks you into his chest, resting his forehead against yours. "And if you have another nightmare, I'll be right here, okay?" 

"Okay." You lay, waiting for sleep to take you, but it's obvious it's not going to happen. Your brain is hardwired to be alert, waiting for the dream to turn into reality, and you look up to see if Rex is asleep and find him staring at you. "What?" 

He brushes his thumb across your cheek with a soft smile. "I told you to sleep." 

"I can't. I-I just feel too awake." His hand snakes under your tank top and gently traces random patterns across your back. "Why aren't you sleeping?" 

"I'm worried about you." He admits quietly. "I hate it when you get nightmares because I know what it's like. That they're so vivid you think it's real, and when you wake up, you can't believe it's not." 

"What do you dream about, Rex?" You've never asked because it's always been such a sensitive subject. But tonight, you just have to know.

Rex lets out a long sigh, his hand stilling against your back. "Men I've lost. The future. You." 

"You dream about me?" You whisper, and he nods. 

"I'm always worried about you dying in the field so my dreams...My dreams take those worries and make it ten times worse." You look back up at him and instantly understand every time he's woken up from a nightmare. 

Every time he's shaken you awake, called you in the middle of the night, needed his hands on you or to have you laying against his chest, everything to make sure that you were there. That you were alive. "Oh, Rex," He leans his forehead against yours with a smile. 

"It's alright, cyare. After all, they're just dreams." Rex says and hand returns to tracing patterns on your back. "Sometimes they're nice dreams." 

"Yeah?" Rex smiles and laughs softly into his pillow. 

"I once had a dream that the generals found an abandoned loth cat and let us keep it around base." You smile at the thought, knowing Rex had a soft spot for animals. "I think we named it Fuzzy or something like that." 

"I once had a dream that you and Fives swapped bodies and argued for ten minutes." You woke yourself up laughing from that dream, knowing how ridiculous it was. 

Rex smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead. "Now that's a nightmare, definitely." 

"I thought it was hilarious." You murmur with a yawn, and Rex pulls you closer to him. "You guys should swap armour someday just to mess with people." 

"Maker, that'd be..." Rex shakes his head and shifts onto his back, and you rest your head on his shoulder, splaying a hand over his chest and tracing a blaster scar. "I think the generals would know, instantly." 

"Maybe if you didn't speak, you could get away with it." You yawn again and let your eyes flutter close. "I feel like Fives could do a great you impression." 

Rex runs a hand through your hair with a scoff. "Are you saying I couldn't do a good Fives impression?" 

"You'd be terrible." You mutter into his side, and Rex gently flicks your forehead. "What! It's the truth." 

"I'm going to prove you wrong." Rex clears his throat and looks down at you with a grin. "Civvie! Still wearing that jumpsuit? I'm Fives and I wreak havoc everywhere I go!" 

"That was-" You cut yourself off with a laugh, pressing a hand over your mouth. Rex, honestly, got it spot on, considering they share the same voice. "That was incredible." 

Rex beams, and you can tell he's proud of himself. "See? I can do a great Fives impression." 

"You have the same voice." Rex scoffs and continues to run his hand through your hair. 

"Did I, or did I not, nail that Fives impression?" You don't respond and Rex looks down to find you passed out into his side, and he smiles as he slips his hand from your hair to turn himself to face you. "Well, goodnight cyare." He presses a kiss to your forehead and lets his head hit the pillow. 

He stays awake a moment longer, watching you sleep peacefully, and he commits the image to memory. He might have a perfect memory, but this is something he never, ever wants to forget. Laying and laughing with you, talking about utter nonsense, that's how he always wants to remember you. 

If he could, he'd forget the tear tracks still stained down your cheeks, or how you felt trembling against him. He hates when you're sad, hates when you have to go through something he does because he understands just how messed up it can be. War is all he's ever known, but at least for you, you can have happy memories to think of when things get hard. 

Before you, Rex just thought of the next battle when things got dark. He'd think of fresh food in the caf, or another night off, but now? Now when it feels like the world is crashing down around him he just thinks of you and everything fades away. 

Chapter 3: Better Man

Chapter Text

Rex found that he adapted to farm life fairly quickly - There was a nice little garden, a dock for fishing, a fair walk into town, peace and quiet after growing up in a world of constant noise and constant movement. Now, he could sit back and not have to do anything. Sure, he missed his brothers dearly, that would never change. Sure, he missed the noise sometimes, but he could turn on a radio at any moment. He missed schedule, rules, and conduct but he's not going to complain about getting to sleep in. 

What he found surprising, however, was how you didn't adapt. You'd been here longer than him, and he thought you loved the little cottage and life carve out for you. But he saw it in the way your hands twitched to do something, constantly glancing at the clock, writing in a journal (something he'd never even heard of before). He can tell you missed the work, missed the people, and missed your old life. 

"Come on, cyare, we're going into town." He can practically see your ears perk up as you launch yourself from the couch, scrambling to get your shoes on. Rex smiles as he leans against the wall, and it feels strange to transition into normal civilian clothes. He's swapped out the top half of his armour for a normal shirt, but there's a part of him that refuses to take off anything else. His armour is a part of him, and though it's a threat to them being found, he can't bring himself to. 

"What's the occasion?" You ask, and Rex just grins and brushes hair behind your ear, which means one of two things. He's either about to do something thoughtful (like that time he brought home a duckling, which was promptly named Rex Jr.) or a prank. "I better not get tossed into the river again." 

"That was one time, Civ!" You both smile at the memory as you start the walk into town, and Rex slips his hand into yours. "You're not getting tossed into the river, I promise." 

The reason Rex was bringing you into town was a part of a three-step plan he'd been making for what? A month? Two months? He was going to propose. And it was going to be beautiful and amazing and he was going to sweep you off of your feet in a dashing heroic moment. At least, that's how he dreamed it would play out. 

In reality, it started in a small shop on the outskirts of town. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" 

"Trust me, Civ." Rex knocks on the door and it opens and you're shocked to see one of the old Auxilary Officers, stood there. "Civ, you know-" 

"Long time no see, tiny." You look from Rex to him in shock, feeling bad you don't really remember his name, and you're ushered inside. "So I guess when you said this was a surprise, you really meant a surprise." 

"W-What's going on?" You look up at Rex, who smiles down at you and pats your shoulder. 

"How do you feel about being a part-time mechanic for the Rebellion?" Rex watches the shock deepen on your face, jaw-dropping open as you look at him slowly. "I kinda need an answer here, Civ." 

Truth be told, you liked living at the cottage but the days start to drag on, and you need something to do again. Something with purpose, something with reason, and of course Rex, the perfect person he is, picked up on it. "Yes. Absolutely, when did you...How did you..." 

"I heard about a clone living on Naboo," The officer says over a datapad. "And we had a little chat." 

"And he was talking about how he needs some extra hands around here, and you're the best mechanic I know!" Rex says, hand squeezing your shoulder. "So, you show up every once and a while, fix some broken parts, help a  good cause."

"When do I start?" You ask, and Rex holds out a bag to you. You slowly take it and open it and find all your old tools, and you grin up at him. You promptly drop the bag and throws your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug. "You're the best, Rex." 

Rex can't help the blush that spreads across his cheeks as he hugs back. "I can't have you rotting away at home all day, now can I?" 

"What'll you do when I'm gone?" You pick up your bag and the officer waves a datapad in your direction. 

"He'll have plenty of work to do himself." Rex watches you set up your bag by a droid in pieces on the floor, and he can't remember when the last time he saw you this genuinely happy. Maybe that time he brought a duckling home, maybe that time Fives came back. 

Whenever it was, he's missed that grin on your face and feels bad when he leaves to execute part two of his plan. 

-

There was a part of you that knew about Rex's plan - That something was going on today, and he was planning something, but there was another part of you that was far too happy to question it. 

Working again, you'd lost track of time. A droid, computer programs, some faulty blasters, one thing after another that made your hands hurt in the bast way. You didn't realize just how much you missed working and fiddling with things, but as much as you love it, it'll bring up memories you wish it didn't. 

Buddy. Finding out about the Order. That time you stuck your hand into a pile of glass. With every frayed wire came a slew of memories, good and bad. "I'll see you around, then?" 

"You'll know where to find me," Colonel replied, and you're happy you finally remembered his callsign. "You did well today." 
For the first time in forever, you rush home, eager to tell Rex about your day. You hadn't been apart like this in a long time, and it felt odd to be in silence without his constant questions or humming to fill the void. What you don't expect, however, is for you to get home to a smoking kitchen. "Rex?" 

"Kriff-You're not supposed to be home yet!" Rex pulls a smoking...something from the oven, and continues to curse. 

"What did you do?" You say as you drop your bag of tools, waving smoke out the open window. Rex blushes as he takes in his dish, smouldering on top of the stove. 

"I was going to surprise you with dinner." He admits quietly, hands clasped together. "I, um, still can't really cook." 

You smile and press a kiss to his cheek. "It's the thought that counts. What were you trying to make?" 

"I'm not quite sure," Rex says with a laugh. "It sounded good." 

"Well, I'm sure it sounded good...doesn't look great, though." You scrape the dish into the garbage with a sigh. "We can just have leftovers-"

"No!" Rex cuts in, and you look up in confusion. "I-I mean, I wanted to make something special for tonight. Not, um, not leftovers." 

You wave a knife at him before dropping it into this sink. "Does this have something to do with my cooking again?" 

"Not at all. Just wanted something nice for you to come home to." Rex pecks a kiss to your temple and wraps his arms around your waist. 

"This is always nice to come home to." You say with a smile, leaning in to kiss him again. "I really don't mind leftovers." 

"What about special don't you get?" Rex mutters, letting you go to open the fridge. "Let's see..." 

Something was definitely up, considering Rex was happy eating anything - You sometimes found him snacking on his old ration bars, despite the fact you still had good food to eat in the house, not those chalky sticks. "We could get take out?" 

"You know, that doesn't sound half bad." Rex closes the fridge and dust off his hands. "I will go pick us up something. You, um, you stay right here." 

"Where else would I go?" You can see the gears turning in Rex's head. 

"Don't, uh, leave the house. Nothing bad, I promise, just don't...go anywhere." Now, something really was up. But if Rex insisted, you'd listen, even if it was an odd request. "Oh! And get changed." 

You fold your arms and lean in the doorway as he moves down the front steps with a glare. "Rex, what's going on?" 

"Nothing suspicious whatsoever, now go through on something nice and I'll see you in a bit." You watch him rush into the distance with a smile and a shake of your head, going back inside to get changed. Truth be told, you only had two options; The dress from the senate thing, or your blue dress. You should probably go shopping for something new eventually, but for today, you pull on your blue dress and wonder what Rex could possibly have planned. 

Maybe he was just being nice? Maybe it was his birthday? No, it couldn't be, clones weren't really given birthdates. You did celebrate his once a year, typically by surprising him on a random day with a cake and singing happy birthday. Deep down, a part of you wondered if he was going to propose. 

You had been seeing each other for a while, and you'd hoped to one day get married to Rex. He didn't seem like the type to get on one knee or buy some expensive ring. Maybe marriage was different for clones - They were technically Mandalorian. Whatever it may be, you were pacing the kitchen, watching the clock and waiting for Rex to return, butterflies in your stomach. "You look like you're about to pass out." 

"Kriffing-Rex!" You jump and clasp a hand to your chest, Rex's voice snapping you from your pacing. "You scared me." 

"I'm sorry, cyare," Rex press a kiss to your forehead with a smile. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you-" You take in the bag in his hands and look up at him with a laugh. "That looks like more than just dinner, Rex." 

Rex nods and pulls a bottle from the bag. "Wine. Fives said I needed to relax more and recommended this." 

"Maker, if Fives recommended it, it's probably 100% alcohol." You take the bottle from him with a smile. "This is all very sweet, Rex. What's the occasion?" 

"Oh, nothing." Rex sets the bag down on the counter and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into another kiss. "Now come on, I have something to show you." Rex grabs two wine glasses and you take the bag and he leads you out to the front porch before hesitating. "Should I get changed?" Rex asks and you roll your eyes, motioning him to get out the front door. "I made you get dressed up, shouldn't I-" 

"You're keeping me waiting, now come on." You huff and Rex smiles, leading you down to the docks and you gasp softly. There's a picnic blanket set up with candles, and lights strung in the closest trees. Rex watched your expression, and you now understand why leftovers would've ruined the moment. "Maker, Rex, this is beautiful." 

Rex sits and motions for you to join with a smile. "I've been working all afternoon on this." 

"You're the best." You press a kiss to his cheek and pull the take out boxes from the bag, and the smell hits you. "Is this-" 

"Deep friend Nuna." Rex opens the bottle of wine and pours it. "Our date-night food." 

"You really are the best, Rex." Rex blushes and hands you a glass of wine, and you hesitate to try it. It's a bit more acidic than you'd normally have, but considering Fives recommended it, it's nice. "Cheers, Rex." 

Rex looks up confused as you hold out your glass. "Pardon?" 

"Cheers. We clink our glasses together and toast to something." Rex nods and picks up his glass, and gently presses it against yours. You laugh and shake your head, Rex's quirks still making you smile. "To date night." 

"To date night," Rex repeats and takes a drink. "That's not bad!" 

"I know, I was expecting something terrible." You start to eat and Rex shuffles closer to you, knee pressed against yours. 

Rex isn't the kind of man to shower you in gifts or praise, no, but he's the type of man to always want you by his side. A hand in yours, a hand on your back, arms wrapped around you. It was sweet, seeing the little things no one else noticed. "How was work?" 

"It was amazing," You reply. "I missed doing work like that. Sure my hands are a bit sore, but that's expected. How was your day?" 

"Good, except I burned our dinner." Rex gestures to his food with his fork. "This is definitely better, though." 

"I agree." You tuck yourself into his side and take a sip of wine. "I've missed this." 

Rex laughs softly. "Deep-fried Nuna?" 

"No! Well, yes I've missed it, but I've missed date night." You hadn't had a reason to go out or dressed up in ages. "It's hard to think a year ago we would've been off running around on battlefields." 

"How long have we been dating?" You shrug, not honestly knowing. It's felt like years and minutes like you've never lived without him and yet only known him for so little. "I'd say a year." 

"Happy one year anniversary." You hold out your glass and Rex gently presses his against yours again, before reaching to the radio and turning on his channel, and he sets his empty container to the side and stands. "Well, aren't you pulling out all the stops tonight?" 

He holds out a hand for you and you stand up, brushing off the front of your dress. "I can be romantic when I want to." 

"Really? Do you remember 'interesting eyes'?" You wrap your arms around his neck and his fall onto your hips with a scoff. 

"I was trying to be nice! A-And you do have nice eyes." You press a kiss to his cheek with a grin. 

"Maker, I love you, Rex." You say with a laugh, and Rex steps back for a moment to spin you around, and you're brought back to the day you pulled Rex onto the dancefloor. Rex doesn't dance, but here he is, spinning you around like that's all he's ever known how to do. 

"I love you too, cyare." He pulls you back in for a kiss, and you cup his cheeks with your hands, and his hands slip from your waist to fumble with something.

It suddenly dawns on your what he's doing when he sinks to one knee, and you clasp a hand over your mouth with a gasp. "Rex-" 

"Since the day I fell asleep on you, I never wanted to leave your side. I've wanted to do this for so long, you have no idea." Rex says with a smile, and you feel yourself start to cry. The world slows around you, and all you can hear is the pounding of your heart in your ears as you look at Rex, kneeling, with a little box in his hands. "You're the best thing in my life and I want to spend the rest of it with you. You have made me a better man, a better soldier, and a better person than I ever thought I could be. Will you-" 

"Yes." You cut him off, tears slipping down your cheeks. "Yes, yes, a million times yes." 

"Really?" Rex sounds almost shocked as he stands and you pull him into a kiss. He kisses back hard, and you wonder when this happened. It feels like yesterday you were sneaking away to your room, afraid to even hold hands in public to this, this pure joy that made you feel like nothing could ever go wrong. You slowly pull away, and music in the background stops as if knowing you need silence right now.

"Yes, really." You say against his lips with a laugh, and Rex's arms tighten around you. "Is that what all this was about? You did all this to propose?" 

Rex pulls back and holds out the thing he was fumbling with, and you take the small box into your hands. "In Mandalorian culture, we don't really do the whole, um, ring thing and I didn't know what you did for weddings, so I made you this." 

"Is this-" It's another shard of his armour, this time pure white and a little rectangular shape. Something in Mando'a is engraved in it, and you have a sneaking suspicion it's 'Cyare'. "Rex, this is beautiful." 

"It's not a ring or anything fancy, but I'm glad you like it." Rex reaches up to wipe away your tears, a confused look on his face. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm really, really happy." You say with a laugh, and Rex's look of confusion deepens. "And I'm really emotional right now." 

Rex wipes more tears away and presses a kiss to your forehead. "I'm really happy too." 

"We're getting married." You breathe out, hands shaking. "Holy kriff." 

"Think I can convince Fives to come back in time to be my best man?" You wave a finger at him with a laugh. 

"Fives is being my maid of honour, what are you talking about?" You didn't care, really, if you had a million or two people attend your wedding, as long as you got married to Rex. That's what counts, anyway. 

Rex laughs and shakes his head. "He's my brother." 

"He's my, uh, brother in law?" You laugh and press your forehead to his shoulder. "I have a million brothers in law, don't I?" 

"Yes, you do." Rex wraps his arms around you and sways back and forth. "If Fives can't make it, can I have Ahsoka be my best man?" 

"You can have anyone you want, cyare." You pull away and set the box down, wiping at your leftover tears. You can't remember the last time you'd been this shocked or this happy. It felt like everything was buzzing, and nothing really made sense. But Rex proposed, and you were going to get married. You get to have your fairytale moment, your fairytale ending that you deserve. That Rex deserves because out of anyone you know, he deserves to be happy. Your heart flutters as you think of the future, and the music slowly fades back in again and snaps you from your spiralling thoughts. "One last dance before bed?" 

Rex holds out his hands with a grin. "It would be my honour." 

Chapter 4: Butterflies?

Summary:

Takes place the day before Chapter Two of Habits

Chapter Text

The new Auxilary Engineer was...Rex doesn't know how to describe you besides innocent. Naive. A civilian. You walked around with a stupid smile on your face, willing to help, and more than once Rex had gone to his superiors to complain about having someone who barely even fits into a jumpsuit on his team. 

Now, he had to take care of an extra person on the battlefield, one who couldn't defend themselves and would probably die if they saw a pool of blood. You were a liability, plain as day, and Rex refused to be the one forced to bury your body.

All that being said, Rex wasn't hostile towards you. He wasn't overly friendly, but he was never rude or vulgar like the others could be. He'd heard of betting pool running of how long it would take until a clone snapped and...well... 'had his way' with you. Rex shut that down as soon as he heard of it, and since then, it's been almost obvious the gaze on you. 

The way a brother would scan his eyes over you or another civilian would chat you up. Somehow, though, you were still oblivious to it all. How could you not be? In Rex's opinion, you were the equivalent of having a child on the team. "You fall asleep on her shoulder once and suddenly you've got the hots for our engineer?" Fives mutters over his drink in shock. "Are you kidding me?" 

"Shut it, Fives." Rex slammed his drink back, eyes moving from where you chatted idly with some civilian. "I don't have 'the hots' for her." 

"Your eyes haven't left her since she walked in the bar." Jesse chimes in, shoving another drink in front of him. "I would say either you're stalking her or you're trying to work up the courage to ask her out." 

"Jesse!" Rex snaps with a glare. "I do not like Civ, okay?" 

Jesse snorts and takes a swig of his drink. "Whatever you say, sir. How did you end up falling asleep on her, anyway?" 

"Rex was all like 'Darling Civ, are you alright?' and Civ was all like 'Of course, my love. Heavens, you look like you haven't slept in a week!' and Rex was like 'I haven't' and Civ-" Rex smacks Fives upside the head with a glare. "What! That is exactly how it went down!" 

"Don't look now, sir, but I think she's getting awfully friendly with her little friend over there." Rex, despite himself, lets his gaze snap over you and watches you dance with the stranger, who looks...like a predator stalking their prey. It makes Rex's stomach churn, but he keeps a stoic expression in front of everyone else. "Looks like you missed your chance." 

"For the last time, there is nothing between me and Civ. Now shut it before I send you all back to base." Rex slams a shot down, hoping the alcohol will help with embarrassment settling low in his gut. 

Fives lets out a low whistle and the group laughs, and Rex glares down into the countertop. "Alright, sir. You're awfully riled up today." 

"Probably because the generals left 'im to go hunt down a spy or something." Rex tunes out the rest of the conversation and finds his gaze settling back over you, dancing and laughing and what he's feeling, it isn't jealousy. Rex isn't a jealous man, not towards a girl he doesn't know. But it's something that draws him to you, forces him to watch you dance and wonder what you see in the sleazeball you're dancing with. 

You stop dancing for a moment and say something, and the sleazeball nods and you walk away, and Rex sees his next move before he does it. Sleazeball pulls some pill out of nowhere and sets it in your drink and Rex is up and across the bar in a second. "What do you think you're doing?" 

"Having a good time, what're you doing?" Sleazeball slurs and Rex picks up the drink. He should probably dump it or something, but he smashes it onto the ground, needing to get his pent up aggression out. Somehow, in the chaos that is this cantina in the middle of nowhere, no one bats an eye at the sound. "Calm down, it's just for some chick." 

"Some chick? You better get out of my sight before I-" Rex cuts himself off, and the sleazeball laughs. 

"Before what, cloney? You gonna run home and cry to the Jedi about it?" Rex extends himself to his full height, moving into the sleazeballs space. 

"Before I put a blaster bolt through your brain." Sleazeball finally gets the idea and raises his hands in defence and walks off, and Rex glares at him as he goes. 

There's a soft gasp and he turns to look back at you, who stands in absolute shock. "Rex? What-Is that glass?" 

"Um-He spiked your drink." Rex stands like a deer in the headlights and clasps his hands together. "And I shattered it." 

"That's...That's awfully kind of you." You pick up your jacket hung over the back of a chair, and Rex shuffles his feet. He should say something, about how it's no problems, but he's dumbstruck and can tell Fives will mock him about it later. "Most guys wouldn't have done that." 

"What?" Rex, while he might not be a normal person, he'd still expect people to have enough common courtesy to stop someone from drugging another person.

You brush hair behind your ear and shrug, a soft smile on your face. "Usually, if a guy spots another guy spiking a drink, he won't say anything. Not where I come from, at least." 

"Well, that's ridiculous." Rex scoffs and folds his arms. "I wasn't about to let you, you know...get hurt. We might be off duty but I'm still your superior officer."

"That's your excuse? You want me to come to work tomorrow?" You ask with a laugh, and Rex instantly tries to backtrack. 

"I mean-Well yes, but no-I-" Your laugh cuts him off as you gently place a hand on his arm and he swears he can feel the warmth through his armour. 

"It was a joke, captain. Well, I should probably head back to base." Fives makes direct eye contact with him across the bar, and Rex knows what he has to do. 

He gestures to the counter with a small cough. "You could, uh, drink with us?" 

"I wouldn't want to intrude." You say, and Fives waves the two of you over. 

"Don't worry about that, we could all use a new face to talk to." You laugh and the sound is music to his ears as you slide into a stool beside Kix and Rex returns to his spot between Fives and Jesse. 

"You should've seen Rex, kriffing karate-chopped the dude in half!" Fives exclaims, absolutely hammered. "Blood was everywhere." 

You slowly look back over where you'd been standing with a laugh. "I'm sure he did." 

"We can order you another drink if you like." Kix offers and Rex hates that he didn't offer first. 

"I have work to do when I get back, I probably shouldn't." You prop your head up on a fist and smile. "So, Fives, how much have you had to drink tonight?" 

"Eleven?" Fives looks up in confusion. "Is this math?" 

"Let's just say he's had a lot." Rex fills in with a small chuckle. "It's our first night off in a while." 

You go about stacking the leftover shot glasses into a small tower with a smile. "You deserve it, you've been through hell these past couple weeks." 

"So have you," Rex adds, but you shake your head. 

"I run around fixing things. You guys are the ones on the frontlines." Rex hadn't thought of it like that - In fact, he thought your job was a bit more tedious and rough to handle - Fixing things while everything goes to hell around you sends worse than causing said hell.

"Do you even know how to fire a blaster?" Jesse asks, leaning back in his stool as he stretches. 

You take a moment before you respond, waving a finger in his direction. "Maybe. Do you know how to fix a broken engine?" 

"You got me there," Jesse says and Fives snorts out a laugh and reaches for another shot, which both Rex and Kix block.

"We should probably get Fives back to base before he vomits on himself," Kix says and slips from his stool, wrapping an arm around Fives and dragging him out of his chair.

"Hey! I'm not that drunk." Fives slurs, stumbling while he tries to get out of Kix's grip.

"Sure, whatever you say. Come on Jesse, help me with his other arm." Kix scoffs and Jesse takes Fives' other side, and Rex instantly knows what they're doing. 

They're leaving the two of you at the bar. Alone. So that maybe something will happen. Rex equally loves and hates his brothers, and he's not sure how he should feel right now. "You guys have a good night." 

"You too," You respond, and Rex takes his drink in hand and sips it, wondering if he should pretend to be drunk or not. "Maker, how much of his blood is alcohol?" 

"That's just Fives, he always drinks heavy-" Since Echo died. You never really got to know him, so Rex doesn't bring it up, finishing the sentence there. 

"I couldn't do that, not if I have to work tomorrow." You slip from your chair, and Rex slams the last of his drink. "We should probably be getting back to base." 

We. We. Not I, we. It's a small word but it makes Rex's heart flutter slightly and he wonders, vaguely, if this is some sort of medical condition. "We probably should."

"Thanks, for before." You say quietly as you leave the bar. "I meant what I said before about most guys wouldn't have helped." 

"It's my duty to serve." Is Rex's immediate response as he holds open the door. "And protect. So, you know, I wasn't about to let some scumbag lay his hands on you." 

"Scumbag?" You ask with a laugh. "I don't even think I caught his name." 

It's a beautiful night on whatever planet you were on, having just finished up on your campaign. The 501st had been granted leave, which meant the small cantina was packed with troopers. "His name was scumbag, obviously." 

"Obviously." You say with a laugh, looking up at the stars. "That would be such an unfortunate name to have, scumbag." 

"Imagine naming your child scumbag. I feel like you'd have your child taken away from you." Rex adds as you walk back towards base, and he tries to calm his racing heart. Maybe he does have some condition, maybe it's you. He's heard enough on the holonet and from his brothers to know that being attracted to someone means having your heart do stuff. Right? He lets his eyes drift into the night sky and pauses. "Four moons." 

"Pardon?" Rex gestures up to the sky and traces over four similarly sized moons. 

"Four moons." He says and you stop, staring up at the sky. Rex stills beside you, but he can't bring himself to watch the stars, instead staring intently down at you. Your face is so...nice, moonlight illuminating you, smiling up at the sky. He could watch you forever, as creepy as it sounds.

Rex is starting to realize he's feeling something, something very new, and it makes his stomach feel a little sick. What did Fives call it? Bugs? Feelings bugs in your stomach? Butterflies. That was it. Butterflies in your stomach. How stupid is that? "My planet only had one." 

"Kamino had three." He remembers being a little cadet and wondering about them, but very quickly his questions were conditioned out of them. "They were quite small."

"Is Kamino your home?" You ask quietly, and Rex shrugs. 

"It's where the clones were all made, so I suppose it's home. Isn't really the nicest place, however." You begin to walk again, and Rex realizes the reason you're watching him so intently is that you're waiting to hear more. "We're raised, we're shipped off, I don't consider the Kaminoans my parents." 

He hates the way your face falls when you think about it. "That's a shame. Childhood is such an important part of everyone's life." 

"I had a childhood. It was just very, very short." Rex smiles to himself, thinking back to the first time he got his armour. "Me and my batchmates used to play a game where we'd see who could stand on their heads the longest. I always won." 

"Wow, bragger much." You say with a laugh. "Back home, me and my friends would always see who could run the fastest after school." 

"Were you the fastest?" Rex asks, and he tries to picture you as a small child, running around laughing. Considering he never really got to be a child, it's hard to imagine. 

You shake your head with a laugh, looking up at the stars. "I lost every time." 

"Really? I thought you would be fast. Small. Aerodynamic." You reach up and smack his arm with a gasp. 

"I'm not that short!" Rex rests his arm on top of your head as you walk, proving his point. "Okay, so maybe I'm short compared to you." 

"You're short compared to everyone, Civ." That earns him another shove and you both laugh. "Okay, maybe compared to Master Yoda, you're tall." 

You huff and fold your arms. "Everyone's tall compared to Master Yoda." 

"Hey, take it or leave it." You return to your mock base, and Rex pauses in front of the clones barracks, knowing yours is across the base. You tuck your coat over your arm with a smile, and Rex has never had the urge to kiss someone this bad before in his life. "So, now that it's downtime, what're you going to be doing?" 

"I'm stuck on repair duty all day tomorrow, maker knows I'm going to have to pull an all-nighter." You say with a huff, and Rex distantly hears his name being called. He sees your face fall slightly and it doesn't help the butterflies, wondering if you're feeling what he is. There's no way you could - You're a civilian, you had your options open to anyone. Him, a clone, would be anyone's last choice, but it's still nice to let himself dream, even for one night. "I shouldn't keep you from your men. Goodnight, Rex." 

"Goodnight, Civ." Rex watches you go and makes a note in his brain to check in on your tomorrow and bring you something to help work - Maybe caf, maybe another blanket, anything to give him an excuse to see you again. 

Chapter 5: Solace

Chapter Text

Rex was a serious clone, ever since he was a small cadet. It didn't matter how small the job, or how boring. He followed the rules, adapted on the move, and kept his head up. That's how he became a captain, after all. Every clone has a personality, feelings and thoughts, and Rex sometimes felt paraded around by the Kaminoans. 'This is the prime example of what you could become'.

Was he really? The prime example? It hurts that he is because to get to this point, Rex has had to face his worst nightmares. To get to this point he's had to leave behind good men, and watch the world evolve around him and his brothers like they don't matter. 

He remembers the first time someone he knew fell in love. It didn't last of course, and it was some shiny who went on about a Tongrutan he took on a date. Rex remembers feeling like that shiny was doing something wrong - After all, clones were soldiers. That's all they were. Rex would grow to learn that he was a real person, with real needs, and that being a good soldier didn't always mean following every rule. It's being able to decipher good and bad and choose the right path. 

But still, as he rose in his ranks and heard of one night stands and dates with civilians, Rex thought it was all wrong. Because there was a part of him, deep down, that thought he could never love someone.

Then he met you. 

And then he realized what every other clone, every other lover felt. That it's not something Rex can stop, not something you can program out of a man. When he first told Cody, it felt like a dirty secret. That there was something wrong with him, that he couldn't control, that no training could prepare him for emotions. "You like her, Rex. That's what this is." 

"How do I not like her?" He remembers Cody's face scrunching up in confusion. "She's a civilian, I'm pretty sure I outrank her, I can't...I can't like her." 

"Rex, you can't stop liking something willingly," Cody said with a laugh. "If you like this girl, then tell her." 

"No!" He was terrified of your response. No meant he'd make a fool of himself, yes meant...yes meant he'd also make a fool of himself. "Just tell me how to stop all this." 

There wasn't a way to stop it, as he found out. Not when he distracted himself, not when the world fell apart. But he found he liked having the same feelings for once-That if everything changed, you didn't. You'd still smile and say something witty, or offer him a shoulder to sleep on or bring out the best in him.

He remembers going to Cody for advice more times than he can count. (37. Officially.) "Just kiss her already, Rex! She likes you. You like her. What more is there to fret over?" 

"What if..." What if he breaks the spell? What if he ruins the moment? What if everything goes to hell and nothing can make it right once again? He'd lived long enough without you he could survive if you died, but there'd be a hole in his heart he could never replace. "What if I can't love her?" 

"Then you try your best, vod." He remembers Cody smile so vividly. "And you bring her flowers." 

And then the world did go to hell. The separatists won, the Clones turned against their allies, and Rex was left to pick up the pieces of his broken world. Somehow, bless the gods, you were there with him. You held his hand and showed him that even as the world seemed hopeless, there was still a bit of good left. 

If Rex had one wish, it would be that none of this ever happened. 

If Rex had one wish, all of his brothers would be okay. 

If Rex had one wish, Cody would be his best man. 

If Rex had one wish, it would be to live in this moment forever. Planning a wedding in the aftermath of a Galatic fallout was as hard as you expected it to be, but somehow, Rex was still getting married. He wasn't in a suit, and there wasn't some big ceremony with flowers and people. 

In fact, there wasn't really anyone but the Colonel to officiate it and Luca and his wife to watch. It wasn't a real wedding either, considering Rex is pretty sure he still isn't considered a sentient being by most planets. He'd made a joke about you marrying a rock, but it hadn't gone over well. 

Fives and Echo told him they'd try to make it (Fives wanted to be flower girl, of course) but it wasn't likely. You emerged from the backdoor to the cottage and Rex felt the air punched out of his lungs. 

He still couldn't get over the fact you chose him. Of all the people in the galaxy you dated him, said yes to him. Here you were, looking like an angel in a white dress, which he's pretty sure belonged to Luca's wife, and he felt tears spring to his eyes instantly. He wasn't an emotional man by any means, but this was...this was something else. 

This proved that everything was okay. Everything was alright, he was alive, you were alive, and he was getting married. Nothing could stop this, not now. A hand clapped onto his shoulder and he expected it to be Colonel, but the voice was all too familiar. "You didn't even invite me to your wedding?" 

Rex saw the shock morph onto your face as you drop your bouquet, and Rex slowly turns his head to look up at Cody, with a new fresh scar and the saddest smile on his face. Fives and Echo appeared on his other side, both looking fairly beat up, and Rex was at a loss for words. He truly was, because never in a million years did he picture this. "This is your wedding gift, by the way. Went out and plucked him from a search party ourselves." Fives says, and Rex is pretty sure he's going to pass out.

"Surprise?" Cody says awkwardly, and Rex lets his body move for him, crushing Cody into a hug. 

"I swear to god, Kote, you do something stupid like that again I'll kill you myself, do you have any idea-" Rex is stopped mid-rant as Cody hugs back just as hard, and he's pretty sure Cody's started crying at some point. He cradles the back of Cody's head with a smile and knows he can be angry later. "Holy kriff, you're actually alive." 

"I'm so sorry," Cody whispers out, and Rex feels every emotion possible hit him. But above all, joy. Pure joy. "Please forgive me-" 

Rex pulls back slowly with a smile. "You're here now, that's what counts." 

"I didn't-I didn't listen to either of you," Cody says quietly. "About the chips and now-" 

"Don't beat yourself up about it, Cody. You were being a good soldier." Cody nods solemnly as you gently pat his shoulder, and Rex watches Cody turn and his face fall. No words have to be said as you reach up and pull him in for a hug, and Cody holds onto you tighter than you think Rex has ever held you, swaying back and forth. 

"We've missed you so much, Cody." You whisper and Cody sniffs quietly. "I'm so happy you're here." 

Cody finally pulls back with a cough, trying to hide his emotions as he wipes at his eyes. "I wouldn't miss this for the world." 

"Well, you almost did." You reach up and wipe his tears away. "I think this is the best wedding gift ever." 

"I'd say," Rex responds. "How would you like to be my best man?" 

"I thought you'd never ask," Cody responds with a smile, and Echo takes his place beside Cody, but Fives steps out into the small aisle you'd formed. 

"Civ, if it's alright with you, I'd like to walk you down the aisle." Rex never asked about your family, or if anyone would be invited. He knew it was too dangerous to have many people here, and it would be ages before you could even fly anyone out. 

Rex watches tears swim in your eyes as you blink them away. "I'd love that." 

"Then let's run this from the top again, that was just the dress rehearsal." Fives scoops up your bouquet and hands it to you, and you both walk back towards the house. 

"And to think I almost missed this," Cody says wistfully. "You're a very lucky man, Rex." 

"I know," Rex whispers back and he's hit with a whole new wave of emotions as Fives walks you down the aisle, and he sees Fives make a joke and you laugh and if Rex had one wish, it would be to live in this moment forever.

You take your place across from him and Fives stands behind you with a smile. "I win." 

"You win what?" Rex asks with a smile, and you look back at Fives. 

"I get Fives as my maid of honour." You say and wipe away at a tear. "And flower girl. And he walked me down the aisle, so I win." 

"Yeah, well, I get to marry you," Rex says as he takes your hands in his. "So I'm pretty sure I win." 

"Could you two be any more cheesy?" Fives asks, trying to sound sarcastic, but Rex can tell he's also fighting tears. 

Colonel goes about the ceremony, which is short and sweet. You didn't really know whether to have it done the Mandalorian way or your way, so you both settle on the basic way. Rex didn't care, honestly, what way he married you, as long as you did. He's just waiting for those six little words, and then you're all his. 

Your hands tighten around his, and he turns to look at you. You just smile up at him, tears in your eyes, and Rex almost-kisses you then an there.  He never expected to find something calm in his life, someone able to put up with him, yet here you are. Smiling at him and getting married to him. If Rex had one wish, it would be to live in this moment forever. "And now, the exchanging of vows." 

"Oh, we're not doing vows." Rex responds, knowing neither of you could make it through them without crying. You'd decided early on to your wedding you weren't going to do much for your ceremony." 

"Actually, Rex." You pull a piece of paper out of nowhere, and Rex should've known you'd go above and beyond again. His brain scrambles for something to say, but glancing down at the paper, he doesn't recognize the spelling. "I'm sorry if I butcher this - Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde." 

Rex recognizes those vows anywhere. We are one when together, we are one when parted, we will share all, we will raise warriors. Clones aren't really raised in Mandalorian culture, but they still try to live it in as much as they can. Speaking Mando'a, painting Jaig eyes on their helmets, maker, the reason Rex presses his forehead to yours is that that's the Mandalorian way to kiss or hold someone you love. If he wasn't going to cry before, he's going to cry now, because only you would understand him enough to do that. He hears Cody sniff behind him, and he doesn't doubt his brothers are also surprised by the vows. 

"Cyare, you...You didn't need to do that." You smile and shrug, and he wants to kiss the smile off your face. "Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde."

"With that, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Rex presses his lips to yours before the colonel even finishes the sentence, and Rex can now die a happy man. 

Because he'll have you at his side forever. 

And that's all he'll ever need.

f Rex had one wish, it would be to live in this moment forever. Everyone cheers but he doesn't truly hear them, too caught up in his own little world to focus on anyone else but you. You, standing in a white dress, marrying him, and speaking Mando'a to him. You, who's seen him at his absolute worse and never judged him for it. You, who let him fall asleep on your shoulder and force him to dance despite the fact he still doesn't know what he's doing. 

"Alright, that's enough you two," Fives says with a laugh and you part, and Cody claps a hand on his shoulder. Nothing about today seems real, but for once, if Rex is dreaming, he never wants to wake up. "I think it's time for the reception." 

"You finally going to show me those dance moves Fives been raving about?" Cody teases, and Rex shoots him a glare. "Go on, you two have to have the first dance, and then I call the father-daughter dance." 

Fives gasps as you walk towards the back of the house, where you cleared enough room for a makeshift dance floor. "I walked her down the aisle! I get the father-daughter dance." 

"I am older than you and hold a higher rank than you. I call the father-daughter dance." Rex watches you laugh and pat both Cody and Fives on the arm with a smile. 

"You two keep this up, and I'll have Echo dance with me." Echo beams at Fives, who glares at him. "Maybe I won't dance with any of you." 

"Well, you have to dance with me." Rex loops his arm around your waist and pulls you aside. "We're married so you're stuck with me now." 

"Maker, what have I gotten myself into?" You both share a smile and one of his favourite slow songs comes on (though he'll never admit it) and you start to sway back and forth, and everything hits you at once. You've gone from dances in the middle of the night in your cramped barracks room to your first dance as a married couple, and tears threaten to fall as you press your forehead to Rex's shoulder, who presses a kiss to the top of your head. "Did I say the vows right?" 

Rex doesn't care if you butchered them or if your accent was terrible - You took the effort to say them, and that was enough. "You did wonderful. Though I shouldn't teach you Mando'a, you'll know what my swearing means."

"Maybe not, then." Rex realizes he's probably being watched and should be trying to dance better, but right now he can do nothing more than sway back and forth, almost as awkward as the first time you asked him to dance. "We probably have the smallest wedding ever." 

"More cake of us," Rex replies with a laugh, but today could've been a lot different. Today could've been bustling with friends and family, with cake and a proper venue and a real suit, everything you deserved. "I'm sorry you didn't get a good wedding, cyare." 

"What are you talking about? This is the perfect wedding." You pull back to look up at him. "Sure, we didn't get a perfect love story, but when I look back on all the time we had together I wouldn't change it for the world."

Rex pulls you in for a kiss and he's pretty sure Fives hollers. "You already see the bright side of things, don't you?" 

"Someone has to." You say against his lips with a smile. "Besides, who cares about today? We're married and that's what counts." 

"You're my wife," Rex says in dawning shock. Wife. He can call you his wife. "And I'm your husband." 

"We're officially old now." You share a smile, and Rex doesn't know what god he appeased to deserve you. It's very rare for a man like him to find solace in his life, and yet when he looks at you, there is no doubt in his mind that he's meant to be with you. "When do you think we'll have to break it to Fives there's no cake?" 

"Shh, he might hear you." You dissolve into laughter again, and Rex finally works up enough courage to spin you around and pull you back in.  Your dress twirls around you like something out of a movie, and Rex never knew how good you could look in white. "Maybe if we never tell him it won't be an issue?" 

The music starts to fade and Rex doesn't want to leave just yet, and you smile up at him. "I think he'll find out one way or another." 

"Think I can bribe him with wine?" Rex says with a laugh as you finally part, and you laugh at him, a sound that will never grow old. 
"Alright, you two have had enough spotlight, it's my turn." Fives holds out his hand to you and you take it, turning to look at Cody who just waves you off. 

"I'll take the next dance," Cody says as he steps to stand at Rex's side, arms folded with a smile. Music starts to play and Rex gets lost in watching you and Fives twirl around the dance floor, laughing and smiling brighter than he's ever seen. "I'm really glad you two found each other." 

Rex turns to look at Cody, who looks back with a small smile. "What?" 

"If someone had told me when I first met you that you'd settle down one day, I would've called them crazy. But this...This is the happiest I think I've ever seen you, Vod." Cody says wistfully, running a hand over his hair. "And look at her. You're one lucky guy, Rex." 

"Are you hitting on my wife?" Rex says with a laugh, and Cody shoves his arm. "But I get it. I still don't believe I'm married, or that she actually likes me. I'm still waiting to wake up from this dream." 

"Well, it's not a dream." Cody pats his shoulder. "Did you ever think we'd end up like this?" 

No. Rex pictured the end of his story being buried six feet under on a battlefield, or his body left to rot on some planet. Maybe he'd survive the war and live out the rest of his life on the Coruscant Guard, maybe they'd decommission him. But never did he picture this, or the fall of the Republic, or a little cottage on Naboo where he and his wife would live. "I don't think anyone did. How did Fives and Echo find you?" 

"I want on a search party looking for Jedi," Cody says, tone full of remorse. "And they cornered me. It's like waking up from a bad dream, getting your chip taken out. Like the past months haven't been me, but they were. Then they told me you were getting married and I couldn't not come to crash it." 

"I shot at Ahsoka." Rex admits for the first time. "She was the one who removed my chip. And every day since I've been trying to figure out what it was all for. Why so many of us died just to turn on those we love. A-And there is no answer, Cody. There's no answer besides the universe is cruel." 

"I've done really terrible things, Rex." Rex turns to look at Cody, who stares at the ground and Rex is pretty sure he's crying, or at least close to it. "And there's nothing I can do to fix what I've done." 

Today should be a happy day. Today Rex got married, today he got to forget about the world around him for once, today he finally got Cody back. But he understands, more than anyone, why Cody isn't happy. Cody knows the terrible deeds he did, like almost killing General Kenobi, without a second thought. He wasn't there for Rex, he wasn't there for his brothers, and Rex can see it in the way his shoulders are tensed and how he stares at his pristine white armour, no longer painted with yellow stripes. 

Today is likely the first time in a long time Cody got to think for himself, and Rex knows they aren't good thoughts.  "I hope you know that everything that happened, no one here holds it against you." 

"I hold it against myself. I'm a commander, I should've done better. Should've fought harder. Fives was right, and no one listened to him, and now...Now I'm a monster. I did unspeakable things to Jedi, Rex." Cody admits, and Rex reaches out and claps a hand over Cody's shoulder, squeezing gently. 

"That wasn't you, Kote. That was the chip they put in you. Want to know the difference? You feel remorse, you feel terrible, if that was really you, you wouldn't be here. But you are now, and that's what matters. I know you, Cody. I know that you're the guy to tell Civ embarrassing stories about me, you're the one who made me work up the courage to ask her out, you're always there for me-" Cody looks up with a glare and cuts him off.

"But this time I wasn't, Rex." He snaps, and Rex watches the tears finally fall. "I can't look past what've done." 

"I doubt you ever will," Rex says bluntly, reaching up to wipe a tear away. "But you can try, and that's what counts." Cody nods, and Rex realizes the music faded out awhile ago, and turns to see you talking with Fives, Echo, Luca and Yura, off to the side to give them space. You never cease to amaze Rex with how considerate you can be. "Now come on, this is my wedding day. You're not allowed to be sad, go drink some bad champagne." 

As Rex and Cody approach, Fives holds out two flutes of champagne, and they both happily accept it. "Now, I know said we weren't going to do cake," Luca says and Fives face falls. "But Yura wanted to cook something up for you." 

"Yura, you didn't have to-" Yura holds out a platter of citrus cake, and Rex gently places his free hand on your lower back with a smile. "How did you know?" 

"Because you're not the only one with some tricks up their sleeve," Rex says and presses a kiss to your temple. 

"You're such a sap," You laugh and press a kiss to his cheek. "This is wonderful." 

You each take a piece, and Rex gets his mischievous look on his face. "Isn't it a tradition to feed each other?" 

"That's just an excuse to get cake all over my nose." You bite into your piece with a smile, and Rex glares at you before swiping some icing off of his and wiping it on your cheek. "Hey!" 

"It's tradition, isn't it?" You scoff and swipe some more icing off of his piece and wipe it across his mouth. He looks less than impressed and you giggle, taking another bite of cake. "Oh, so when I do it it's bad, but when you do it it's funny?" 

"You started it." You look up at him with a smile and swipe a thumb over his lips. "You have something here." 

Rex wraps his free arm around you and kisses you, and you laugh against his lips, icing smearing across both of your faces. "You two are gross." 

"Fives!" 

Chapter 6: When it Rains: Part 2

Chapter Text

Somedays, you missed home. Somedays you woke up in the morning and it felt like nothing was right, nothing made sense and fighting a war seemed like a stupid idea. Somedays you wanted to scream into your pillow or throw a fit, but instead took your aggression out on others without meaning to. 

Today was one of those days. You don't know what you snapped at Rex, what the argument was about, but it was the first time you'd ever fought about anything major. It was the first fight that ended in slammed doors and almost in tears, it was the first fight that ended with you doubting. 

So, you left base to clear your head, and like always, the weather hated you and it began to downpour as soon as you left the complex. You're too stubborn to go back and face Rex or find an umbrella, so instead, you seek refuge under one of the giant pillars and leave yourself with your thoughts. 

If you were at home, you'd be curled up in a blanket, loving the sound of the rain, and probably drinking something warm. If you were at home, you could call a friend and ask them how bad the weather was over there. The war stripped you of your family and friends and replaced them with clones who didn't understand what a normal life was, and it wasn't their fault. Clones didn't get headaches, they didn't get grumpy, they didn't care about missing a holonet episode or having junk food whenever you wanted. 

There are heavy footsteps through the rain and you turn to watch Rex approach, and your angry mood melts away into a sad one. You didn't mean to get angry at Rex, or the clones, or yell at them. You didn't mean to storm out when Rex kept calling for you to come back, you didn't mean to get soaked in the rain due to your own pride. Rex plants a hand on the edge of the base of the pillar and jumps up to sit beside you, and you both sit in silence. 

Rain pelts down and you can hear it bounce off of Rex's armour, and you'd kill for something like that right now. You know they're heat regulated and waterproof, and he's probably warm and cosy and just here to have an 'I Told You So' moment. You shiver and look up at the cloud-filled sky and something drapes around your shoulders. 

You wrap the blanket around yourself with a smile and look over at Rex, who just links his hands together and watches a speeder go by. "Do you always have a blanket on you?" 

"Yes, for idiots like you," Rex says in a light tone. "How many times have I had to give it to you? Three times already?" 

"Two, thank you very much." You burrow into it with a sad smile. This blanket was the start of it all, you suppose. This blanket, right here, is the reason Rex fell asleep on your shoulder, came to help you fix that droid, and brought Rex to your room. Every couple with have their arguments (If you could call what you and Rex had a 'couple.') and rough patches, and if you knew anything from the movies, they worked through them. "Listen, Rex, I'm-" 

"Nights like this reminds me of Kamino." Rex cuts you off completely, and his words take you back. "It was always raining, or cloudy, and seeing as it was an ocean planet, it just made the waves super high and crash against the building a lot." 

"Nights like this reminds me of home too," You say wistfully. "And those night's where a storm keeps you up and rain pelts against your window and you watch the lightning and get scared and run into your parent's room to hide." 

Rex laughs softly, nudging his shoulder with yours. "You were afraid of storms?" 

"Every child is." You add, and Rex shakes his head. "Were you not?" 

"When it storms every single day of your life, they don't scare you anymore. Honestly, we used to be afraid of the sunny days, we thought something was wrong with the planet." Rex tugs off his helmet and sets it in between you. "One time we saw a rainbow and I'm pretty sure Cody fainted." 

"Really? From a rainbow?" You laugh softly, shaking your head. Rex smiles and leans back, arm wrapping around your shoulders and tugging you into his side. You take his helmet into your hands and trace a finger over the visor, your warbled reflection staring back. "What was it like, growing up on Kamino?" 

Rex doesn't answer for a long, long time, eyes unfocused as he watches speeders drive by. Finally, he lets out a sigh and turns to look at you. "Honestly? Abusive. Always fighting, always studying, it's drilled into you to be perfect at a young age. Sure, it's great being raised with a million brothers. Puberty? You'll experience everything for a month straight, have fun with that." 

"You only went through puberty for a month?!" You gasp, looking at him in shock. 

"It was terrible. The worst thing they'd do is they'd pit us against each other. Who's the fastest, who's the smartest, who can last the longest? We all got along, but some days, we'd fight like wild dogs." You can tell there's a moral based story coming, and you know why Rex is a good captain. Because he can find any story, any anecdote, and relate it to what's going on. "But at the end of the day, we're family. We're forced to be, and if we're going to be stranded as clones, at least we can be stranded together. We'd make up, one way or another. I remember I once punched Cody and gave him a black eye and we didn't speak for a week until I broke down and promised to never do it again." 

"Today, I really missed home." You admit quietly. "I just realized I have none of my old friends, my family isn't near, I can't tell them what I'm up to or call them to ask how their day was, I don't even know if my home is there anymore. I just...I'm sorry I took it out on you, I've just had a really long day today." 

Rex presses a kiss to the top of your head with a smile. "Everyone had their bad days. And I'm sorry for yelling too, we should've worked that out together." 

"Are we good?" You ask, and Rex gently taps his fingers against your shoulder. 

"Yeah, we're good." You sit in the rain for a moment longer, until Rex shifts you closer again. "Is today a special day? Like a holiday?" 

"Today's my birthday." You refused to tell anyone because clones don't have birthdays. You remember how...distant, it made Rex when you talked about birthday parties growing up. It was a selfish thing to do, have a birthday with a group of people who didn't. But it was still a special day, and you didn't get a phone call, didn't get a card, nothing. 

Rex stiffens and doesn't exactly gasp, but he takes in a quick breath. "What? Why didn't you say anything?" 

"Because you don't have a birthday. And it's no fun to celebrate something if you can't." You say quietly, tucking your head against Rex's shoulder and he chuckles softly. 

"You really didn't tell anyone because you didn't want me to feel bad?" You nod and Rex presses a kiss to your head. "You are very sweet, but that's still no excuse. I could've gotten you a cake, or a present, or something." 

"Instead we got a fight. And stuck in the rain." You say lightly, slipping down from the pillar. "Let's go inside, yeah?" 

Rex jumps down and takes his helmet from you with a soft frown. "You're not escaping this one, we're doing something for your birthday." 

"Seriously, it's alright Rex." You don't need anything special, not from Rex. What you have is already enough, and all you want for your birthday is to just lay in bed with him.

As soon as you get to your room you strip out of your jumpsuit and Rex stares at the ceiling, and for once you reach out and grab him and pull him into a kiss. His hands hover over your waist and you smile against his lips as you pull them onto your hips. You'd been together for what felt like forever, but Rex was always so conscious, so hesitant, it was adorable. He smiles down at you and taps his fingers against your sides. "What, I'm trying to be a gentleman." 

"And I'm trying to get warm, I'm freezing." You hop onto your bed and Rex strips out of his armour, neatly stacking it at the end of your bed. 

"You're the one who stormed out into the rain, not me. Being cold is your own fault." Rex sits next to you and lays down with a yawn. You lay beside him and burrow yourself into his side and he hisses, smacking your hands away from his chest. "Keep your ice cubes away from me." 

"Never!" You snake them up the bottom of his blacks and he gasps, wrenching your hands away and flipping so he can hover above you. You don't know why, but Rex loved to loom over you. When you were standing, when you were working, anywhere he'd come and lean over your and just watch what you were doing. You supposed it made him feel tall, or maybe he just liked the closeness of it. You cup his face and pull him down for another kiss, and Rex swats your hands away again. "They can't be that bad, Rex." 

He smiles and leans down to kiss your neck, just to watch your squirm. "You are frozen, cyare. I don't know why you thought it would be a good idea to run out in the rain." 

"I wasn't raining when I - Rex!" You giggle and push against his shoulder. "Stop that, you know it tickles." 

"That's what you get for putting your freezing hands on me." He pulls away and falls back down beside you. "And for not telling me it's your birthday." 

"It's not a big deal." You turn to face him, and his hand trails up your arm, fingertips warm and light against you. "Really." 

"It is a big deal, it's the day you were born." You curl up closer to him and sigh, Rex practically a human version of a furnace. He was always warm, and that's one of the things you loved about getting to lay beside him. 

Truth be told, the day you were born wasn't truly too important. It could be any other day of the year, what does one day matter? "But you don't have a birthday." 

"None of us clones do, we're used to it, Civ." We're used to it. How many times have you heard Rex say that about being a clone?

Rex turns onto his side and pulls you against his chest, and you snake your hands up his shirt again with a smile. "I'm making you a birthday." 

"What?" If Rex didn't have a birthday, you'll make him one.

"I'm officially making you a birthday, and it's today." You press your hands against his stomach and he pulls them away with a huff.

"I can't steal your birthday, Civ." He mutters, lancing his fingers with yours and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. 

How many times has Rex cared for you? Made sure you were alright, celebrated you, stayed up late to make sure you're alright? If you can do this one thing for him, you're taking it. "You're not stealing it, we're sharing it. Now, happy birthday Rex. How old are you? 82?" 

"Are you calling me old? Seriously?" With his hair, it might as well be grey. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, you're actually 57. I just remembered." You grin up at him and press a kiss to his cheek and he rolls his eyes, pulling you in for a proper kiss. His hands leave yours and he wraps his arms protectively around your and shifts further into the mattress with a sigh.

"Oh, shut up." 

-

Rex would admit that he wasn't a good man. He's done enough in this war, taken enough lives, watched enough brothers die that nothing seems to matter or hurt anymore. But he'd be lying if he said forgetting your birthday didn't hurt, even if he didn't know it. He should've somehow guessed, maybe. 

Watching you shift closer to him and yawn, the only thing on his mind was how to make it up to you. "What time is it?" 

"It's early, you still have time to sleep in," Rex whispers as he presses a kiss to your forehead, slipping from bed to get his armour on. You roll onto your side to watch him, and Rex's heart flutters. It doesn't matter how long you've been together, how many nights you've spent together, you smiling at him still makes his heart do things, and more than once you've rendered him speechless. "What?" 

"Just watchin'." You mutter as you rub at your eyes, and Rex's mind floats back to birthday plans. Maybe, just maybe, he can find a cake or something. Maybe he can rope Fives into helping him with something. He tugs on his boots and leans down to press a kiss to your forehead, and yawn into the kiss. "You wake up too early." 

"I have first rotation on the bridge again." He says and you laugh, flopping back down onto your bed and tangling yourself in your sheets. 

"I'm starting to think you using that as an excuse to not have to deal with me in the morning." Rex has been assigned bridge detail an awful lot lately, but he'd spend every waking moment he could with you if he had the chance. "Try not to kill Fives today?" 

Rex laughs as he pulls on his helmet. "No promises, cyare." 

As soon as Rex is gone you leap out of bed, a birthday plan of your own in the works. Maybe you could rope Fives into helping you, or maybe you could just figure something out. What would Rex like as a gift? Most traditional birthday gifts are out of the window, and a funny idea comes to the forefront of your mind. 

You quickly change and get ready, and hop down to the mess hall. Fives does a double-take over his breakfast and rolls his eyes, making room for you to come sit. "You're up awful early." 

"And you're always grumpy in the mornings. How easy would it be for me to steal a mug?" You ask, and Fives just squints his eyes at you and leans towards Jesse. 

"Did you also hear that or am I just sleep-deprived?" Jesse doesn't even look up from his caf when he answers. 

"You heard her correctly." He mutters and takes a long sip, and you wonder if all clones aren't morning people. It seems like a carried over trait, or maybe no one likes waking up early to fight battles every day. 

Fives looks down at his tray and slowly hands his mug over to you, a confused look on his face. "Knock yourself out, Civvie. Should I be worried? Is this going to escalate? Like first a mug and then suddenly you're stealing my blaster?" 

"You have nothing to worry about!" You look down at his mug, still half full, and hand it back to him. "Also a clean mug, you've already drunk out of this." 

"Picky, picky. Go grab one from the stack, I doubt anyone here is awake enough to care." You skip off to grab a mug and Fives and Jesse both watch you go, and Fives wonders what he's missed in the few hours he hasn't seen you or Rex. 

Because barely ten minutes ago Rex came marching in asking if Fives was free to help him with something, and then you come barreling in asking for mugs. He should really be worried about whatever is happening between the two of you, but he's too tired to care. "I feel like this is going to end badly." 

"It's one mug." Jesse comments, finishing his caf and sighing. "If she starts stealing forks, then we can be worried." 

"I'm sorry, has everyone gone crazy today?" 

-

Rex hesitates in front of your door and wonders how stupid of an idea this is. He's used to sneaking around at night, hiding in your room. People have stopped asking where he goes at night, and what was once a joke in passing became reality. Every night was spent in your room, despite the fact it could get him decommissioned. 

But he's never snuck out with you, and he wonders if this is what being a teenager feels like. He finally knocks and he here's you rush around behind the door and it slides open, and he's taken aback when he realizes you're dressed up. Maybe you had the same idea as him, maybe he'd interrupted one of you 'Holonet' nights where you watched mindless tv and called it self care. "Oh. Am I interrupting anything?" 

"Not at all, what's up?" Rex's hands shake behind his back, and he lets out a low breath. 

"This is going to sound weird but I need you to sneak into sickbay with me." He rushes out, and you stare at him with a blank look. A part of him fear's you'll say no, another part knows you're definitely going to come with him, always excited to do something new. "Please?" 

"Alright, let me just grab something." You return with a wrapped...something and he knows it's a present. He glares down at you and you just smile sweetly up at him, moving quietly beside him. "So, why are we breaking into sickbay?" 

"You'll see. What's with the dress?" It comes off a bit harsher than he means it to because he's never going to say no to seeing you in a dress. He thinks you're beautiful no matter what you wear - Jumpsuit, dress, or nothing at all. 

You twirl around the hallway and beam, swishing your dress back and forth. "You'll see." 

"What's the package for?" He asks with a smile and you hug the small box to your chest. 

"Once again, you'll see. Kix better not kill us for breaking in." Rex punches in the code and you step into sickbay, empty besides the hum of machinery. 

"Well, he knows we're coming." You give him an odd look and he pulls you towards one of the intensive care rooms, and your brow furrows. Those rooms are only used when someone's really hurt, not sneaking out in the middle of the night. "Come on, it's nothing bad, I promise." 

You sigh, blindly putting faith in Rex, and Kix better not kill you for this. "Fine." 

"Now cover your eyes." You roll your eyes and hold up a hand to block your vision, and Rex opens the door and pulls you inside, and he steps away to stand behind you. "Now look." 

You let your hand fall away and gasp, and suddenly the private room makes sense. There is a table and two chairs set up, with a radio and a bottle of some alcohol you wonder how got smuggled onboard. It all faces the large windows in the intensive care rooms, and you stare out the stars. "Rex, this is wonderful." 

"Happy birthday. I couldn't really get a gift or anything, but I thought this could work." Rex says quietly and you turn to smile up at him. He's always thoughtful, even when he has nothing to work with. You lean in and press a kiss to his cheek before sitting in one of the chairs and setting the present down on the table. 

"Well, I had the same idea, so I got you a gift." Rex huffs as he takes the seat opposite you, and you know he hates when you go out of your way to do something for him. It could be anything, really, bringing him an extra ration bar, checking in him late at night when he's off-planet, but he deserves it. It doesn't stop the smile on his face as he unwraps it or the laugh that escapes him as he reads the writing. 

"#1 Captain?" He asks, incredulous, and you remember those cheesy novelty mugs with things like "Galaxy's Best Dad" and whatnot, so you decided to make your own. "Seriously?" 

"You are my #1 captain." You say with a grin and Rex rolls his eyes. "To be fair, I might be a bit biased, but still." 

Rex sets the mug aside and links his hands with yours. "I'm the only captain you know, but it's still very sweet." 

"I'm glad you like it. Now, how did you manage all this?" You gesture around the room and Rex shrugs, opening up the bottle of wine. "And where did you get wine?" 

"I work in mysterious ways, let's just leave it at that." Rex hands you a glass and you take a sip before crinkling your nose, and Rex does the same after drinking his. "Okay, so maybe this went bad." 

"I didn't even think alcohol could go bad," You laugh and Rex takes your glass and gets up, dumping it down the small sink attached to the room. 

"Me neither. I'd hate to tell the guys, they've been waiting on this stuff forever." Rex mutters, and he sits back down with a sigh. "Well, I guess there goes my romantic evening." 

You grin at him and turn on the radio, already set to Rex's slow channel, and you stand up and hold out a hand. "Just because some alcohol went bad doesn't mean this 'romantic evening' is ruined." 

"No, I suppose not." If Rex was honest, he had a birthday. He knew the day, the cycle, right down the second, when he was born. But it's not the same, not like yours, not like anyone else's. No, it's not the day he was born, it was the day he was grown out of a tube, and he hates it. He's grown up sharing a 'birthday' with thousands of other clones, with nothing special about it, and when the others used to jokingly say 'Happy birthday', he hated it. 

He told you he didn't know, didn't really have one, to save himself from having to deal with that again. But somehow, you'd made his birthday...Well, his fake birthday, something special. You got him his very first gift, ever. It's weird to think about it like that, that some corny mug is his very first present. 

You smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek and wished him a happy birthday and suddenly he wants the world to know how special today is. How special your day is and how he gets to spend it with you. Rex will never ask for much. He never has. He'll never ask for help, never ask for a shoulder to cry on, but if Rex could ask, for just one thing, it would be to spend the rest of the night dancing, laughing, and forgetting about birthdays. 

So that's exactly what he'll do. 

Chapter 7: Surprise

Chapter Text

Rex isn't sure exactly how, but you'd managed to catch some stomach bug, or flu, or something. It'd started a week ago-You just said you'd felt unwell, and you spent the day relaxing on the couch, but it just got worse as the days got on. Then you started vomiting, and Rex is pretty sure you hadn't left the refresher all afternoon. "I brought you tea." 

"Thanks, cyare." You hands shakily take the mug, and Rex wants nothing more than to take this away from you. You took medicine, you were relaxing, why weren't you getting better? He sits down next to you, and you sip on your tea quietly. Even sick, you're still beautiful to him. Maybe a bit paler, but definitely still beautiful. He tucks some hair behind your ear with a smile and pulls you closer to his side. 

"How are you feeling?" He asks, already knowing the answer. You just groan and tuck your head against his shoulder, and his hand gently rubs your back. "Are you sure it's just the flu?" 

"I'm sure, Rex, I've already gone to the doctor." You say quietly, taking another slow sip of tea. "I just have to wait it out. You shouldn't be this close, I don't want to get you sick." 

Rex laughs softly and shakes his head. "I'd rather get sick than not help you. Besides, if I get sick, you get to take care of me. Returning the favour, I suppose." 

"You're the worst." You say with a laugh, before quickly rushing over to the toilet. Rex would do anything to make you feel better again, even if it was just the common flu. He grabs a glass of water and kneels beside you, gently rubbing your back again. He's pretty sure he has an amazing immune system, or something because not once has he ever been sick. It's definitely a clone thing, but he doubts he's ever thrown up or had a cold. The first time you got sick, he was pretty sure you were dying. 

But no, normal people go through this all the time. Luckily clones, for once. "There we go, it's okay, you're okay, you're-" 

"Rex, I love you, but shut up." You take the glass of water form him and take a small sip. 

"I'm trying to be soothing." He mutters, and you smile as you wipe your mouth. "Am I doing it wrong?" 

"You're rambling, that's what you're doing." You say with a laugh, and Rex rolls his eyes. You stand and flush the toilet, grimacing down at the mess you've made. Then, to your surprise, Rex picks you up and you cling to his neck with a gasp. "Rex!" 

He presses a kiss to your forehead as he carries you to your bedroom. "You need to rest." 

"You need to put me down, maker, you-" Rex carefully sets you down in bed and you glare up at him. "My legs aren't broken, Rex, I just have the flu." 

"What if I like carrying you? Hm?" He plops himself down beside you and gently takes you into his arms. "I get so worried when you're sick, cyare." 

"People getting sick is normal. You're just lucky you have a beefed-up immune system." You poke his stomach harder than you mean to and he grunts, pulling your hand away and burying his face into your neck. "We need to clean the refresher." 

Even sick, you were always trying to fix things. "I can clean it later, you need to rest." 

"Rex-" Rex pulls his face away to give you his sternest look and you sigh as you melt into his arms. "Fine. You can't keep pulling your whole 'I'm Captain Rex' face, I swear it doesn't work on me." 

"Whatever you say, cyare." He says as you yawn, and his hand comes up to cup your cheek. You weren't feverish, which was good. Maybe you just add something bad? He doesn't remember anything you could've eaten lately, but maybe when you were out working at the shop you tried something. 

To you, the worst part about being sick was not being able to work. To Rex, the worst part about you being sick was that you were in pain. All you wanted was to go back and work, having missed doing things and repairs so much. He would've thought you'd enjoy the break, but distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that. 

He was so happy to see you so happy, it was like a switch had been flipped. The first few days, you didn't stop smiling. He expected the novelty to wear off at some point, but every day, you were up and excited to go back to work. Rex couldn't say the same, being alone for the afternoon. He'd never tell you, but he got lonely on the days you went to work. 

But he'd rather be alone for a few hours than see you like this, sick and sad you can't go to work. You'd passed out pretty quickly, and Rex gently presses a kiss to your forehead with a sad smile. He slowly slipped away from your side, as much as it pained him, and left to clean the bathroom. 

-

"I'm going out to grab some groceries, alright?" It'd been two days, and finally, things started to ease up. You smiled up at Rex, who slung his bag over his shoulder with a worried look. "You'll be good on your own?" 

"I haven't thrown up all day, I'll be good." That doesn't stop the crease between his eyebrows from furrowing, and you tug his hand to pull him down for a kiss. He smiles as he pulls away, and gently cards his fingers through your hair. "I promise, Rex." 

"I'll only be gone for like an hour, tops." He says as he approaches the front door, and he turns around for the third time to fuss over something. You sigh and get up from the stool at the kitchen counter, literally shooing him out the door. "I'm just worried about you, that's all." 

You lean in the doorway with a smile and shake your head. "You worry too much." 

"I worry a perfectly fine amount." He mutters and you roll your eyes. "But I'll go, seeing as you want me out of your hair so much." 

"You say that, but you're still standing here." Rex jogs back up the steps to the porch and kisses you again with a laugh before finally heading down the path, and you swear if he could glue you to his side, he would. He hated having to leave, especially after you were sick. You felt bad about it all - He stayed by your side no matter what, and he'll probably get sick now. You hated to see him worry, especially over something as trivial as a stomach bug. "Don't forget eggs!" 

He turns back with a look you can only describe as pure annoyance. You laugh to yourself as he turns and keeps walking, and you're pretty sure you'd told him to pick up eggs every day this week. As soon as he's gone from your view you bolt back into the house, hurriedly trying to find your commlink. 

A part of your actually needed eggs. Another part needed Rex out of the house. "Yura? How quickly can you come over?" 

"Oh-Five minutes, maybe, what's wrong?" You knew for a fact this wasn't the flu. This wasn't a stomach bug, this wasn't anything remotely close to it. There was never a fever, only nausea and vomiting. You didn't eat anything that could give you food poisoning, nothing. Slowly pieces were falling together, and you were scared.

Your period was a week late. 

Your hand gently rested over your stomach and wondered if you were crazy. Could it be just some fluke bug? No, no fluke bug ever made you feel like this. "Nothing's wrong, I just need...I need another woman here." 

"I'll head right over, okay?" She hangs up and you lean against the counter and close your eyes. You pray Rex doesn't come back for another check-up, or that he forgot something because you don't know how to tell him...anything, yet. You don't even know how to put your own feelings and fears into words. Maybe your period was just late, maybe that was it. 

Or maybe it was the result of something else. You'd been married for a few months now, your 'honeymoon' non-existent, and you'd definitely gotten closer because of it. Much, much closer. You couldn't help the fact you were scared, even if it had a good side effect. You needed someone here, someone who wasn't Rex, to understand and help you through whatever this was.

There's a knock on the door and Yura lets herself in, and it's almost like she can read your mind. As soon as she sees you she gasps, eyes darting down to your stomach. "Yura, I need you to get me a pregnancy test." 

-

It'd been a week, and Rex was happy to know you were alright. You weren't sick, you went back to work, but a part of him worries you're just putting on a charade. He's pretty sure you'd thrown up again, but when he went in to check on you, you were fine. Maybe he was paranoid, maybe you just didn't want him to worry. 

Whatever it was, you seemed to be fine, smiling and back to your normal happy self. Tonight was no exception, dancing around in the living room to some old song, humming along softly. Rex loved you in candlelight - It just made everything so much softer, so much sweeter, and spinning you around, nothing could compare to tonight. 

He'd probably said that a million times. Nothing could compare, then another thing came along and proved him completely wrong. The song came to an end and you collapsed down onto the couch with a laugh, and Rex pulls you into his lap with a grin. "You're awfully happy tonight." 

"I just missed evenings like these." You say as you lean in to kiss him, and he still doesn't know what he did to deserve you. "I have a surprise for you." 

"Oh?" You get up, or at least try to, and Rex pulls you back down to press a kiss to your neck and watch your squirm with a laugh. "And to think tonight couldn't get any better."

"Trust me, it will." He finally lets you go and you pull a white box he doesn't recognize from a drawer, wrapped with a little bow. Instantly he panics, trying to figure out if today had any importance. Anniversary, birthday, holiday? Nothing comes to mind and it deepens his panic. You seem to sense his unease and you laugh softly, holding out the box to him. "It's just a gift, nothing more." 

He hesitantly takes the box with a quirked eyebrow. "I'm getting nervous here." 

"Oh, I just saw something the other day and had to get it for you." You say and he laughs, snapping the ribbon and opening the box. 

He's pretty sure he's dead. Or at least in a dream, in a coma, something. Tonight was too good to be true, and what sat in the little box in front of him just made it ten times more insane. 

A pregnancy test. 

A positive pregnancy test. 

Rex remembers his dreams about this. For one night, he let himself dream of a future. Of no more war, no more battlefields, nothing. He imagined getting down on one knee, of little feet running down a hallway, a perfect mix of you and him, of Fives and Echo coming to visit, a house that's his own, you by his side, anything he could dream of. Back then it was just a dream. What else could it have been? But you said yes. And Fives and Echo came to visit and you shared age-old jokes and cried when they left. He didn't dream of Cody back then, knowing it was impossible, and yet here he was, safe and sound. He had a house that's his own by a little river where he can go fishing whenever he wants and a little garden and a spare room that'd been strangely empty since you moved in. 

And little feet running down a hallway, a perfect mix of you and him. That was just a dream. 

Now it's real. 

He slowly looks up at you, and you smile at him, and everything hits him at once. Every emotion, every fear, everything. The reason you kept getting sick for no reason, why you'd suddenly just started wearing dresses more. Why you took shorter shifts at work. "A-Are yo-ou-" He can't even get the words out. You smile and nods, tears in your eyes, and Rex shakily gets to his feet, dropping the box to the floor without another word. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you in for a kiss, and your arms wrap around his neck. 

So this is love. This is what all those stories and shared smiles are about, as ridiculous as it is to say. If Rex thought he loved you before, now it was ten times as bright. He's taken back to your first kiss and maker, he did not expect it to end here. To be holding you in his arms with a pregnancy test on the floor and realizes he's going to be a father. 

Maker, he's going to be a father! "Wait, when was the last time you drank alcohol? Why did you go back to work, you should be sitting down, stress-" 

"Rex, relax, take a deep breath cyare." You say calmly with a small laugh. "I haven't had alcohol for at least a month, I went back to work to tell them I'm pregnant," The words falter on your lips even if you don't mean for them to. "And I've been sitting all afternoon." 

"How long have you know?" He stares down at your stomach, and maybe his eyes are playing tricks on him, but he swears he can see a little bump. 

"A week? A week and a day or two." You take his hand and press it over your stomach with a smile. "And I'm about five weeks pregnant." 

Five weeks! You've been sitting around here with a baby in you for five weeks! Rex has no idea how pregnancy works whatsoever, only that there is currently a child in you and it grows. "So the flu?" 

"Morning sickness." He lets out a long sigh of relief and pulls you in for another kiss. 

"We're going to be parents." He pulls away slowly, everything still taking it's time for him to comprehend. He laughs and runs a hand through his hair, bouncing around on the heels of his feet. "I'm going to be a dad!" And that's when the dread hits. "Maker, I'm going to be a dad. I-I don't know what - Am I? Should I-" 

"Rex." You place your hands on his cheeks with a smile. "Calm down. You're going to be great." 

"But I don't know how to be a dad." He hasn't had a dad. He was grown from a tube, that's all. How can he be a dad if he doesn't know what a dad does? What if he royally screws up this kid? What if- 

You laugh breaks him from his thoughts and he turns to look down at you. "And I don't know how to be a mom, we figure this out together. I don't expect you to know everything." 

"But I should! I am now responsible for a life form that's in you." You snort out another laugh and kiss him, and Rex can't help but laugh into the kiss. SO maybe he's being a bit ridiculous, but can you blame him? He pulls away with a smile and a new emotion hits. Something he can say he's never felt before. A happiness that brings tears to his eyes, something so...overwhelming that he can't process it. He just starts crying, in your arms, and you hold him through it. 

You gently rake your fingers through his hair, rocking back and forth. He's going to be a dad. He's going to probe anyone who ever said anything bad about clones wrong. He has a child, maybe a boy or a girl, and he's going to love them every second of their entire life. He doesn't care about anything, just you in his arms and soon...Well, nine months from now, a child with you too. He feels bad for crying in such a happy moment but you seem to understand, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I love you, cyare." 

"I love you too. I don't...I don't know why I'm crying." You smile at him and pull him down to sit on the couch with you. 

"Because you're overwhelmed and heppy, that happens to people." He rests his forehead against yours with a smile. "Now, which one of us has to break it to Fives?" 

"Oh maker, this kid is going to have some fun uncles." Rex says with a laugh, and you shake your head. 

"I think fun is an understatement." Rex slides his hand over your stomach with a smile, and this is his life now. He has a wife. A kid on the way. A house. If you'd told him, what felt like years ago, that this would be his life after the war, he would've told you you were crazy. After all, Rex from years ago wasn't like this. 

He wasn't soft and would cry at something like this. He didn't believe love existed or that he deserved it if it did. You broke him, in a sense. You broke the clone he used to be into a real person, and he couldn't be happier. His son or daughter proved all that to be true.

If this was a dream, he never wants to wake up. "Is it a girl or a boy?" 

"I'm five weeks pregnant, Rex, we don't know yet." Ah. So there's a timeframe for gender, he supposes. "What do you want it to be?" 

"Anything." Is his immediate response, because he doesn't care. Boy, girl, it could be anything and he'd still love it because it's his and yours. "What do you want it to be?" 

"Well, I've always liked the name Cody." A whole new wave of emotion hits him, and he forgets sometimes just how thoughtful you can be. He said that once, in passing, and you remembered. You were willing to name your kid after his fallen brother, even after Cody came back. 

Maker, what did he do to deserve you? "Fives wouldn't like that." 

"What about Kix?" He never did tell you about what happened to Kix, did he? Kix didn't die at order 66. Kix wasn't even around for order 66, seeing as he disappeared weeks before it. He never had the heart to tell you, so he wouldn't now. 

"Kix would be a good name. Shouldn't you want to name it something special to you?" He didn't want you to feel forced into naming a child after someone he's related to. You smile up at him and rest your head on his shoulder. 

"Kix is someone special to me. I feel...I don't know. I feel like their name has to be special. About how they came to be." A miracle baby is what he'd call it. After all, there's no reason for this kid to exist. 

He's a clone, you're a normal human. No one expected that clones could even feel love, let alone have children. But he knows their wrong because all he can feel towards you is pure love. Pure adoration towards you, nothing he can put into words properly, even if he tried. So instead, he just kisses you and holds you tight, hoping they show you more than his words ever could. 

Chapter 8: Beginnings

Chapter Text

If anyone had told Rex, when he first joined the 501st, that he'd fall in love, he'd tell them they were crazy. If anyone told him he'd run away, get married, and settle down, he'd think they had a screw loose or two. If anyone told him he was going to be a father? He wouldn't believe them. He couldn't. 

But here he was. 

He defied all odds, fought through hell and back, to be where he was right now; In a cramped little hospital room, sat beside you, feeling more emotions than he's ever felt before. Not walking down the aisle, not seeing Cody again, not when Order 66 was called. It was you, giving birth, that made his brain break. 

"Rex." You're talking to him, but he doesn't hear you. His eyes are glued to the child in his arms. It's so...small. Fragile. Simple. He'd seen the young cadets before, but nothing like this. With no hair and such little features and...and...his. His child. All his, to cherish and watch grow. A baby boy. His baby boy. 

Kix. 

"Cyare." Finally, Rex drags his eyes away from his child, and back up to you. "Isn't he precious?" 

"He's...He's..." Rex doesn't know what to say. He's everything he could ever dream of and more. His sweet thoughts are interrupted by heavy beeping and your sudden scream, and Rex stares at you as the monitors you're connected to go crazy. Doctors and nurses rush in, and rush around you, and Rex's eyes don't leave the monitor as it flatlines. 

No. 

No. 

NO. 

-

Rex wakes with a gasp, and it's not real. You haven't given birth, you haven't died yet, hell, you're barely even four months pregnant. But that doesn't stop the tears, or the shaking, as he sits up and tries to collect himself. He's drenched in sweat and peels out of his undershirt, trying to grasp at the reality around him. 

But his mind keeps flickering, back to times he doesn't want to think about and to futures, he doesn't dare imagine. Ahsoka. Anakin. Jesse, Kix, Fives, Echo, Hardcase, blood, screams, violence, every image he's tried to bury comes to the front of his mind and he sobs, curling in on himself. You, dying, leaving behind a child.

He thought, that perhaps, his mind would relent eventually. That after a lifetime of bad memories and bad dreams he'd forget eventually, but being a clone, he doesn't forget a thing. He's stood on a battlefield, surrounded by his loved ones, and every time he blinks someone else disappears and the blood runs thicker below him. 

He knows, realistically, he's home, in bed, beside you. At the same time, he's worlds away, spiralling down every traumatic moment of his lifetime, and he can't stop. His hands clench over his ears as he hears you scream, and what he'll never know, is almost identical dreams would plague his old friend. That the nights he found his general awake, he'd been driven by his own nightmares of his love dying at childbirth. 

What he'll never know is planets away, Anakin...or what remains of Anakin will wake up with a strange feeling of despair, despite the fact he's grown far past emotions. 

Hands wedge themselves under his, and he grips them instead. He blinks hard and you blurrily come into focus above him, cupping his cheeks and speaking. His chest heaves, and this is the worst episode he'd had in a long, long time. All he can picture is you dying, leaving him, and he sobs in fear of never being able to hold you again.

His mind goes back to seeing you in that hospital, that time you were trying to save Buddy, the nights he spent alone thinking he'd never get to see-"Cyare." He can finally hear you when you speak as you wipe away his tears. "I need you to focus on me, love." 

The moon silhouettes you, creating a halo around you in the dark. You look as angelic as the first day he met you, and every day since. His eyes skitter down to his child, and it's a small bump, but it's definitely there. Somehow, that thought grounds him, and his eyes flicker back up to find yours as you smile softly and slowly pulls your hands away from his face, taking yours with him. "B-Baby-" 

"The baby's okay, Rex." You respond softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead and wrapping your arms around him. "I'm okay. Fives is okay. Cody is okay. Echo is okay. You are okay." 

"Everyones...safe?" He can't relax into your hug, not yet, the flickers of memories remaining just below his conscious. Your hands slide up to run through his hair, holding him close to you but not suffocating him, knowing he needs time to adjust after dreams like these. 

"Everyone is safe, Rex." As soon as those words leave your lips his arms wrap around you and you pull him into your chest, rocking slowly back and forth with him. "You're safe." 

You remain like that, for a long long time. There's something about living through a war with someone, having them be your haven, that your arms are the safest he could ever feel. He doesn't need his armour, or a battalion, or a million blasters. Your arms are all he needs to protect himself from the outside world, and he buries himself in them. You gently press a kiss to the top of his head and keep whispering soft things to him, helping him ease back into reality. 

Slowly, he pulls away, and sits in silence, collecting his shattered thoughts. You sit in front of him with a smile, just there to comfort him, hands laced in his. He brings one hand up to his lips and presses a shaky kiss to the back of it with a sad smile. "Stress isn't good for the baby." 

"Stress isn't good for anyone." You respond, in your sweet tone as usual, using the crook of your finger to tilt his head up to look at you. "Don't ever feel bad about needing my help, okay? I'm always here for you." 

"What did I do to deserve you?" He asks, for the millionth time, because he truly doesn't know what god he appeased or what miracle he happened upon. You were perfect, and you chose him. Of any man in the galaxy, you chose him, and Rex will never know why. 

"You gave me a blanket." He rolls his eyes as you chuckle softly. "What? It's the truth." 

He pulls you in for a kiss, hands gentle on your waist. "I'm being serious." 

"So am I." You say as you pull away, wiping away the last remains of his tears. "You deserve me just as much as I deserve you." 

"I don't think I ever will, cyare." You both stare at each other for a moment, words unspoken like always. "I don't think you know how much I love you." 

"Don't get sappy on me here, Rex, I am extremely liable to cry." You say with a smile, thumb wiping over his cheek despite the fact his tears had dried long ago. "I don't think you know how much I love you." 

He laughs softly a places a hand over your stomach, shaking your head. "Oh, I think I do." 

"Shush, you." You bat his hand away and lay back down with a pout. "You think pregnancy is so great, I'm just craving vanilla." 

"Pure vanilla?" Rex asks softly, and you shrug. "I don't think you can eat pure vanilla." 

"Yeah, that's why I'm mad." Rex shifts to loom over you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your arms come up to wrap around his neck, and Rex wishes your nights weren't spent like this. Waking up, at random times in the night, when you already struggled with sleep. Having Rex break down around you when you were so...vulnerable, fragile, he didn't know how to-"You're thinking too loud again." 

Rex sighs and presses another kiss to your forehead. "I'm just sorry I keep waking you up." 

"Like I told you before, I don't care. You can keep me up all night and I won't be mad in the morning." You tilt your head to the side and stare up at him. "What was tonight about?" 

Does he tell you? Would it make you stress about dying in childbirth, or after it? Would he speak it into existence? He ducks his head down to bury it in your neck, and wonders just how much he can reveal to you. You'd never judged him for it before, and you were plagued by your own demons at night. "Everyone died again." 

"Well look at us now, hm? We're all still here." You take his hand and slide it up your chest to rest over your heart. "See?" 

"All I've ever known is death." He whispers quietly. "I just keep thinking about what happens when this ends, cyare." 

"This is not going to end for a very, very long time." You take his hand and rest it over your stomach. "After all, you need to be here to see him grow." 

Him. Him? Rex's eyes widen and snap up to yours, and you can't contain the smile that breaks across your face. "It's a boy?" 

"I, um, might've had the doctor check the sex today." Rex beams, laughing softly to himself in shock. "I was going to keep it a surprise, but I thought-" 

"A boy!" Rex is practically squealing as he kisses you and then hauls himself out of bed to stand in shock, before rushing to his comms. "A boy! I'm going to have a son!" You watch the shock drain from his face into horror. "I'm going to have a son." 

"And you're going to be a brilliant dad." You reply and Rex looks over at you as a whole new wave of emotion hits him. A boy. It's suddenly all too real, the fact that he has a child of his own to take care of. He sinks slowly onto the edge of the bed and you sit beside him, taking his hand in yours. "It's scary, isn't it?" 

Rex just dumbly nods, words escaping him for a moment. "What if I'm a bad dad?" 

"Then I'll be here to make sure everything goes okay." You joke, bumping your shoulder with his. "If you think it's scary, I have a parasite in me that is one day going to burst out." Rex's face scrunches up as he looks at you, and you chuckle softly. "Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh." 

"My son is not a parasite. He's a baby." My son! Rex finally dials up the comms and waits for Cody to pick up. You rest your head on his shoulder, and his arm drapes around you to rub your back. 

"Rex, Civ better have gone into labour, nothing warrants a call at...2 am." Cody grunts out, and you laugh softly. At the sound of your voice, Cody falls silent before gasping, "Oh maker, did Civ give birth?" 

"No, no, we just found out the gender of the baby." There's a beat of silence and Rex clears his throat. "Well, I just found out the gender of the baby." 

There's a soft wave of static before Cody's almost hysteric voice. "And?" 

"A boy." Cody hoots on the other end, and deep down, they are all still children. You'd known about the betting ring they'd had going on since Rex first married you, and Cody's money was on a boy. "I don't know how I'm going to break it to echo." 

"Can I be on call when you do? Please?" Cody pleads and Rex laughs, the sound warming your heart. You can tell tonight still haunts him, from the way he leans into you to the way his hands still slightly shake. But he's okay, and he's getting better.

"I won't be that mean to them, but I'll tell you their response later." Cody huffs on the end, and you and Rex share a smile. You might not have the biggest family, but it's still just as important. Rex's smile slowly fades, and he turns to look back down at his comms with a soft sigh. "You know, originally, if it was a boy, we were going to name him Cody." 

That stuns Cody to silence, and you're brought back to your wedding and just how happy Rex was to see Cody. You'd wanted to name your child something special, to both you and Rex, and it felt right to have it be one of the boy's names. You still weren't entirely settled, but back when you believed Cody was dead, that was always going to be the child's name. "R-Really?" 

"Cody is a good boys name." You chime in, running a hand over your stomach. "We'd have no idea what to name it if it was a girl." 

"Civ Jr." Rex and Cody say, at the same time, and you all laugh. After the silence settles, Cody clears his throat. "Is his name still Cody?" 

You smile and shake your head, and Rex answers for you. "We're thinking Kix, actually."

"Don't tell Fives that, he'll throw a riot." Fives has been gunning for your child to be named after him, and as important he was to you, Kix deserved some recognition. You miss him more than you thought he would, him being one of your first real friends in the 501st. Rex told you he died, during Order 66, but something about it didn't settle right with you. 

Perhaps you could pick out a middle name for Fives, he might settle on that. "Wait, do clones have last names?" 

"Oh." Rex looks at you in confusion, before slowly back down at the comms. "I don't think we do have last names, do we?" 

"Could always be Fett, but, might not go over so well." You give Rex a strange look and we have his hand as if to say 'we'll talk about it later'. You yawn and use your hand to cover it, and Rex's hand comes up to rake through your hair with a smile. 

"Let's get you back to bed. That's all, Cody. Sorry for waking you." Rex says and Cody laughs on the other end, and you'd almost forgotten you'd woken him up too. 

"Goodnight, and congratulations. Next time you call me at this, Civ better be giving birth." Cody grumbles, and your smile saddens just so slightly. 

You weren't afraid of childbirth, no, but...but everything was just terrifying. You were going to be a parent, with Rex, and bring a life into this world. With your lives, you never expected getting to a moment of peace to even think about raising a family, and yet here you were. It was almost overwhelming, and Rex squeezes your hand as if knowing your thoughts. "No promises, Cody. Goodnight." 

"Now," Rex ends the call and turns to you. "You should get to bed. You need to-" 

"I need to eat, I need to sleep, I need to stress less, I need you to listen to your own advice." You ramble on as you lay down and Rex snorts with a laugh, falling down beside you. He leans and presses a kiss to your temple, and you curl into his side. His hand taps away at the comms, likely calling Fives, and you let your eyes drift close. 

There's a sharp crackle of static that makes you jolt, and Rex gently rubs your back. "Rex? Isn't it late there?" There's a moment of silence before Fives gasps on the other end, and you already know what he's going to say. "IS CIVVIE GIVING BIRTH?!" 

"I swear we need to get you all a health class or something." You mutter into Rex's arm. They were taught the basics on Kamino, but there are so many things they just don't quite understand. "No, Fives, I'm not giving birth." 

"Oh thank the maker, I don't have a baby gift yet," Fives says, exasperated, and Rex starts to speak. You doze, coming in and out of conversation every once and awhile. 

You can feel Rex's voice vibrate through his chest, along with his heartbeat. It's the one sound that can always lull you to sleep, no matter what. You have to focus to hear what he's saying, and it takes another moment to understand. "I'm going to have a son." 

"I'm going to have a nephew," Fives responds, just as happily. "You excited?" 

"I'm weirdly nervous," Rex admits quietly. "What if I screw up?" 

"You can't screw up as bad as Kamino did, I have faith in you." There's a moment of soft silence before you hear Fives shift. "Besides, you practically helped raise General Skywalker and Commander Tano, you have plenty of parenting experience under your belt." 

Rex chuckles softly. "Those were adults, or teenagers in Ahsoka's case. This...This is a baby, Fives. What if I hurt it?" 

"Then Civvie will beat the ever-loving kriff out of you, don't worry about it." You crack a smile and nuzzle further into Rex's side, and he smiles down at you. 

"That's always reassuring. Anyway, can you relay this message over to Echo?" You hear Fives snicker on the other end, and roll your eyes. 

"He's going to be pissed, he was so sure it was a girl!" Honestly, whatever the baby is, you'll just be happy that it's your and Rex's and that it's healthy. "But I will. Congratulations, captain." 

Rex tenses ever so slightly beside you, and you know he hasn't been called that in a while. "Thanks, Fives. You stay safe, alright? You need to be here when we rub it in Echos face-" 

"Rex," You say in a warning tone, and he chuckles softly. "He needs to be here to meet his nephew, not to mock Echo." 

"Can't we do both?" Fives responds with a laugh. "But fine, I won't tease him." There's a beat of silence where you and Rex share a look. "Well, I won't tease him too badly." 

"Goodnight, Fives." You say with a yawn, and Rex turns on his side to face you. 

When did you get so old? Tracing Rex's face, you're struck by just how young you'd been when you first met him. Being a clone, he has advanced again (which you never want to think about, one day knowing Rex will be old and grey and you'll likely be middle-aged. Having to say goodbye far too soon.), and you swear he has some grey hairs mixed in with his blonde ones. "Goodnight you two." 

The comm shuts off and Rex half-hazardly tosses it onto the floor and then moves to shift up closer to his pillow. You follow, collapsing down beside him with a sigh, and his arm fits snugly over your side. "We're going to be parents." You whisper, and Rex smiles as he presses a kiss to your forehead. 

"We're going to be grumpy tomorrow if we don't get some sleep." You tuck your head against Rex's chest and yawn, and he definitely has a point. "Goodnight, cyare." 

"Goodnight." You know you should sleep. Maker knows tomorrow morning you'll be nothing short of a tired zombie, but something keeps you awake. Staring at Rex as he dozes off, you gently trace over some of his scars and wonder what really scared him tonight. You wished, more than anything, you could take the pain away from him. That you didn't have to wake up and see him in tears, off in his own little world, haunted by those he left behind.

He, of all people, didn't deserve it. He deserved to be happy, to be in love, and not have to worry about you or your child. He deserved a happy ending, but something deep inside you tells you he won't get one. No matter how hard Rex tries, he can't escape the demons in his mind, and the most you can do is be here to comfort him when you can.

There's a soft feeling in your stomach and you gasp quietly, realizing the child kicked for the first time. No, not the child, your child. It's still so strange to think about, this life form inside you, that it's yours. You drift back to Rex's face when he first found out it was a boy, and you can't help the tears that spring to your eyes. You weren't the most emotional person, but seeing his face light up like that...You sometimes forget how new Rex is to life. How even the smallest things can excite him to no end.

He shifts in his sleep, gently pulling you closer, and you want to give him the world. You want to give him every happy experience he could, and maybe this was the start. Rex might not have had a happy beginning, and he may not get a happy ending, but at least you can give him this.
 

Chapter 9: My Eyes, Her Smile

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Cody, can I ask you something?" Rex has seen a lot in his time. Every little memory, every happy second, is haunted by something he can never forget, not for one moment. So many brothers lost, friends gone, bloodshed, ad tears spilt, Rex's life is one tragedy after another. Staring at your hospital room door, he's not sure how well he can handle another loss. 

He had dreamt of this day for forever. Of a day he became a father, his son came into the world, and he got to start his own family, but he also had nightmares of losing you and the baby and suddenly both were coming true. As of two hours ago, your water broke, and he took you to the nearest medical centre, and you were fine, the baby was fine, he was fine. 

And then monitors started to beep, doctors started to rush around, and Cody had to drag him out of the room to make space. And since then, he'd been glued to the chair outside the door, waiting for something bad to happen, or waiting to hear a baby cry. 

All that's met him is silence. "What the hell are we meant to do now?" 

"I never thought we'd make it this far," Cody answers honestly. "I expected retirement to be a hole in the ground, not...not this. I guess we make do." 

"What am I meant to do?" Rex had wondered what his purpose had been for so long. He was born and bred to be a captain. To fight and kill and win. Now, he's left alone with actual thoughts and emotions, and he can't piece together was life is supposed to be. Is it a husband? To be there for you? Is it a father? Is it to just exist? 

"You are meant to change diapers for the next what? Three years?" Cody nudges his shoulder with a smile, and Rex almost laughs. "That, and you're meant to be a father." 

Father. Dad. Something Rex has never had or never imagined to be. No amount of parenting books and tips can prepare him for this, nothing does. How can Rex be a dad if the only thing he's been good at is keeping himself alive? "What if I'm a bad dad?" 

"Rex, I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You practically raised Fives, I think you can handle an actual baby." Rex smiles softly, knowing that Fives is likely hauling himself across the galaxy to get here. "You are-" Cody stops himself on a sour note, and Rex understands why. "You were the captain of the 501st. Nothing stands in your way. Not even a baby." 

"Somehow I think a baby is more dangerous than Fives." Rex replies with a small laugh, and Cody nods with a smile. 

"At least Fives is potty trained." Rex groans and pressed a hand to his head. "Oh yeah, I meant it about the diapers, prepare for a world of changing stations." 

"How do you know all this?" Cody, somehow, always has advice to give. He's wise beyond his years, an almost father figure to Rex, and just...understands so much. Perhaps it was working so closely with General Kenobi that helped make him like this, but compared to all his other brothers, Rex doesn't understand how Cody turned out this way. 

Cody shrugs, stretching his arms out. Rex finally takes in his age, and wonders just when they both got so old. The faintest of grey hairs start to edge Cody's hair, wrinkles softly defining his features. "After a lifetime of being an older brother, you learn some things." 

"We're the same age." Cody just turns and gives him a look, and Rex smiles back. "Ah, my apologies, you're older by two minutes." 

"Exactly. I outrank you soldier, never forget that." Finally, the doors in front of Rex slide open and in an instant he's on his feet, and only then does it hit him just how nervous he is. 

Cody was a pleasant distraction, but now staring down this nurse, his legs want to give out from under him, and he feels sick to his stomach. Cody seems to understand and stands with him, a hand gentle on his shoulder to ground him. He lets his eyes drift into the room, and he doesn't know what to expect. 

Some bloody massacre, maybe. Something dark, twisted, and ugly. Instead, it's a perfectly clean operating room with a medical droid cleaning up. His gaze slowly drifts back to the nurse, who smiles up and him and claps her hands once. "Congratulations. It's a healthy baby boy." 

"And mom?" The nurse hesitates for a small moment and Rex's heart shatters. 

"She's all good too, might just have to spend a day or two here just to make sure she stays that way." Rex lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and finally lets his shoulders slouch. He's discovered that in stressful situations he stands at attention, whether he means to or not. "She in the recovery room right down the hall, the room you were admitted to." 

"Thank you," Cody responds for him. "I'll take him from here." 

They walk silently down the hall, and suddenly, Rex stops. Just beyond that door, just a few more steps, and he gets to meet his son. Everything he dreamt of, every worry and every vacant thought, leads up to now. He's more nervous than when you walked down the aisle, more nervous than heading into battle, and a part of him wants to stand in the hallway for just another moment to prepare himself. 

Cody stands at his side like always, understanding without having to say a word. "I'm a dad." 

"I'm an uncle." Cody responds cooly. 

"Do you think he'll look like me?" Rex asks, barely above a whisper, and Cody pats his shoulder with a laugh. 

"I would've thought by now you'd be tired of people sharing your face." 

-

He's so much smaller than you ever expected him to be. You had been preparing for this day for months, and yet sitting here, with little Kix in your arms, you're stunned to silence. You doubt, since you've picked him up, that you've looked away from him. You can already tell he'll look like Rex, just from the way his features contort as he sleeps, or when he occasionally blinks up at you and has the same deep brown eye colour. 

Kix. 

Your son. 

When you first signed on to the Auxilary Force, this was not where you pictured it ending. You thought it would be a simple way to explore the world, do some good, maybe make some friends along the way. The world turned upside down, you fell in love, and now you have a child all of your own. 

The doors open slowly in front of you, and you look up just in time to see Rex's first reaction of the baby, and it's pure adoration. It's the look he gives you, late at night, when he thinks you're asleep. It's the look he has when he gazes over his work, eyes landing on you as you smile up at him and crack a joke. Love. 

"Is he okay?" Rex asks as he slowly lowers himself to sit on the cot next to you. "Are you okay?" 

"We're both good." You remember the blaring monitors, and Cody dragging Rex from the room, and wondering if this is it. If Rex's nightmares and your own worries would come true, but in reality, it was nothing but a blip and a small fix. You can't even remember the name of it, so gone from your mind. "Do you want to hold him?" Rex blinks owlishly at you, eyes darting between you and the baby as he short circuits. You laugh softly, gently moving one hand to cup his cheek as you smile. "It's alright, you're not going to break him." 

"Okay." Rex, more gentle than you've ever seen him, slowly reaches out and takes the baby from your arms, and then cradles him like if Rex even breathes wrong, he'll shatter. Kix's eyes flutter open at the motion, and he pouts up at Rex, and he has the same furrow between his eyebrows that Rex does. "Hey," Rex whispers softly, a smile gracing his face. "He's so small." 

Cody laughs, moving to stand beside Rex. Cody is your saint of the day, arriving at the hospital minutes after you did, and being the only person able to calm Rex down. "He's a newborn, vod, he's going to be." 

"Cody, do you want to hold him?" You ask, and Rex's head snaps up to softly glare at you, and you doubt Rex is going to let Kix out of his arms anytime soon. "On second thought, you might want to ask Rex for permission first." 

"I'll let Rex hold him a bit longer, it's alright." Both Rex and Cody stare down at the little bundle with the same amused expression, like they've never seen a newborn before, and you believe it. "He looks like a little clone, that's for sure." 

"He has your nose," Rex says absentmindedly to you. "and, from the looks of it, your smile." 

You hum softly, and Rex slowly hands the baby over to Cody, who holds Kix perfectly. You and Rex both stare at him, and he looks up with the softest blush on his cheeks. "I might have read an article or two about children, alright. I want to be a good uncle, considering what Fives will probably do-" 

"My ears are burning." You gasp softly, and Fives leans in the doorway out of breath, and Echo jogs up behind him. "Next time you have a baby, Civ, give me a bit more warning." 

"I'm sorry, I can't really control going into labour." Echo appears at your side with a to-go cup of caf, and you smile up at him. "Thank you, Echo." 

"Well, aren't you small?" Fives mutters as he peers down at Kix in Cody's arms. He holds his finger out to play with Kix's hand, and Kix grips it awkwardly. Fives grins and turns to Echo, who awkwardly stands beside him. "Uncle Echo wanted you to be a girl, but it's alright little buddy, I love you either way." 

Echo gives him a shove with a smile, and glancing around the room, it strikes you once more just how much of a family they are. They were raised to be soldiers, nothing more than a carbon copy, and yet they love each other more than you've ever seen siblings do. This is your family - Rex, Kix, Fives, Cody, Echo - all of them in the same room. 

Rex gently loops an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into a side hug, pressing a kiss to your temple. "You did it, cyare." 

"We did it," You respond with a smile. "But yes, I did most the work." 

"He's a little charmer," Rex says with a soft chuckle. "He's going to grow up to be a little brute, that's for sure." 

"Well, if he's anything like his father, we'll have nothing to worry about." You reply, and Cody looks up from his arms to smirk at you. 

"If he's anything like his uncles, good luck." Fives rolls his eyes and sits at the end of your bed, holding out his arms to take Kix from Cody. You know, as much as you tease Fives about it, he's going to be a great uncle. You've never seen him more careful around anything in his life, and just like Rex, holds Kix so gently you'd think he's made of glass. "So, did you pick a middle name?" 

Ah, the middle name debate. You'd gone back and forth about other clones names for Kix, maybe even after a general, but Rex had stumbled upon a name by accident and you fell in love. Romin. The flower from Naboo, Rominaria, is the whole reason Rex is here with you today. Their the flowers sat at your bedside table at home, the one symbol that's held you and Rex together for so long. Rex had stared at that page, at that name, until finally he shortened it down, and it became obviously clear what Kix's middle name would be. "Romin." 

"Romin?" Fives repeats, looking up in confusion. 

"It's after a flower," Rex says matter-of-factly, a smirk on his face. "I picked it." 

"The flower or the name?" You can't help the giggle that escapes you as Rex tries to threaten Fives, but with the baby in his arms, the most Rex can do is send a hateful glare his way. "It's a cute name." 

"Kix Romin Fett." Echo strings together, and you wag a finger at him. 

You and Rex had opted out of the last name, considering how 'notorious' the Fett's are. "Just Kix Romin. No Fett." 

"Smart move," Cody responds, and he finally sits down in one of the visitor chairs. "Can I hold him again?" 

You didn't think, before today, you could love anyone more than Rex. You'd been through so much, held each other on the darkest nights and watched the galaxy fall apart, that he was your one and only. Nothing could compare to how you feel about him. And yet, that little bundle, with his face scrunched up as he's passed around again, holds your heart completely. 

Rex slips his hand into yours and presses a kiss to your scar, something he hasn't done in a long time, and smiles up at you. And for once, in this mess of a galaxy, all is right with the world.

Notes:

Only one more chapter to go!

Chapter 10: Meant to Be

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

You believed, when you first created your scrapbook, that it would end with Naboo, that after that whole ordeal, it'd be better to leave it behind. To create a new one, or maybe stop creating ones at all, trying not to prepare for the days it would be all you had left. But it's days like today, where the sunset is slow and the world is quiet that you're glad you didn't end it there, or you might not have captured these moments. 

The first new page is Kix's baby bracelet and a picture of Cody holding him, Rex's scribble of handwriting on the page. It's sloppy and mostly spelt wrong, Rex in a rush to get everything down as quickly as possible. 

'Gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la'

'Nobody cares who your father was, only the father you'll be.' 

It's an old Mando'a saying, apparently, when it comes to 'foundlings' and family. But to you, it's the words that Rex has always needed to hear most. No amount of love and reassurance can take away the pain of his past, or the faces he sees when he closes his eyes. Rex has always believed he was nothing more than the weight of his conscience, and that legacy he has to carry on. 

But with Kix, and with you, he's so much more. He gets to be the dad he never got to have, to create the life he deserves. You don't care about who he was, what he did, or where he came from. You care about him, and the person he gets to become now that the war if over. You don't know how many nights you'd wake up to find Rex, wide awake, just watching Kix sleep, wondering how he deserved all this.

-

With a yawn, you roll onto your side, expecting to bump into Rex's chest, but instead, you roll over into an empty space beside you. Your eyes still closed, you half-worry you'll open them and be back in the barracks, the future you'd created nothing more than a dream. It's a silly thought, knowing the pain you've gone through, but you still wait a second to crack an eye open. 

It's your bedroom, in Naboo. Safe. Home. You sit up and turn to look at Rex's empty spot, and before, you'd worry that he'd disappeared or ran off somewhere. Before, you'd find him at the docks, but tonight you know exactly where he'll be. You slip from your bed and pad over into the nursery, sparsely decorated to look like a forest, and sure enough, Rex is stood over Kix's crib, arms crossed. 

He's like a guard dog, refusing to leave Kix's side most nights. You make sure to make noise as you enter, and Rex doesn't have to look up anymore to check it isn't someone else, so used to your tell-tale signs. "Go back to bed." He whispers, and you slip your hand into his. 

"I should be saying the same thing to you." You whisper back, leaning your head against his shoulder. Kix sleep soundly below you, wrapped in a onesie Ahsoka bought that has little stars on it. "You don't need to watch him every night." 

"But what if something happens?" He turns to look at you, stress and exhaustion filling his features. "I'm a room over, what if I can't get here fast enough?" 

"Nothing is going to happen." You turn and cup his face, gently rubbing a thumb over his cheek as he leans into your touch. "You need sleep, cyare. Kix will be here in the morning, and so will I." 

Rex doesn't answer, instead turning his gaze back to Kix. "I can't leave him." 

For most people, that would be an exaggeration, but with Rex, it's the truth. Everything he's ever loved has at one point or another slipped away from him, and he couldn't stop it. If he here's, watching Kix, nothing can happen. But if he's here, he'll run himself ragged, and you don't want to have to deal with a sick Rex and a newborn. 

You slip away from him and back to your room, pulling the comforter and pillows from the bed and dragging them to the nursery. Rex just stares at you as you lay the comforter and pillows down on the floor, confusion filling his features. You sit down on top of it all, and he smiles softly at you. "You don't have to leave, but I'm still going to force you to rest." 

"You are insane, cyare." He sits beside you, propping himself up against the wall and patting his lap. "Come here." 

You happily move and curl yourself up against him, head resting in the crook of his neck. "Tomorrow we can move the cot from downstairs up here." You say with a yawn, and Rex wraps his arms around you, holding you tight. 

"Thank you." He mutters into your hair. "I...I just..." 

"I understand." You intertwine your hand with his. "You need to be here, but know that you can't spend every minute watching him. It's not healthy." 

"Just one more night," He says, despite the fact you both know it's a lie. "One more night with him." 

Rex falls asleep easily, though it must not be comfortable, and for once you thank his upbringing for letting him be able to fall asleep anywhere. You listen to his heartbeat with a smile and let yourself doze off. You'll have a sore back in the morning, but for Rex, it'll be worth it. 

-

"Long time no see, stranger." You wrap your jacket tighter around yourself, a mug of caf in hand. While it might be spring on Naboo, the mornings can still be nippy, to say the least. Cody waves as he walks up the front path, bag slung over his shoulder. You'd missed having him around, honestly. 

When it's just you, Rex, and Kix, it's normal. It's family, just the three of you, living out the rest of your lives here. The threat of war had died down, along with the threat of being found, and life was calm and content. So naturally, neither of you knew how to deal with it. Fives and Echo will still out fighting with rebels, living in the action, but Cody was like you. 

Trying to settle down, and realizing that letting go of the past was impossible. "You look terrible, when's the last time you got any sleep?" 

"You try having a baby, I look great." You mutter with a smile, and you set down your mug on the railing to pull Cody in for a hug. "It's good to see you." 

"It's good to see you too." He pulls back with a grin, and peers around you. "So, where's Kix?" 

"Of course you're only here for the baby, no one just drops by for a normal visit." Right on queue, Rex pops out onto the porch, Kix resting on his hip. He's grown so much bigger in the past few months, almost a year old now. You reach out to pet down his hair, a dark black that's identical to the clones. "You're the one with all the friends, huh buddy?" 

Kix just giggles and claps his hands together, and Rex sets him down onto the ground. "I think he's going to walk on his own soon." 

"Walk!" Cody exclaims, taking a step back and kneeling as Kix balances himself on Rex's leg. "He's big enough to walk?" 

"He's big enough to be a tyrant, that's for sure." Cody reaches out his hands, trying to get Kix to come towards him, but knowing how little progress you've made lately, Kix will probably just cling to Rex until he's picked up again. 

"Last time I saw him he could barely hold his head up, now look at him. Reminds me of the cadets." Rex and Cody share a knowing smile, and you lean against the railing. There's still so many inside jokes and references you'll never get, but you're happy to see that Rex and Cody can still have their fun like normal. "Now come on soldier, walk to me." 

To all of your surprise, Kix takes a step away from Rex. "No way," Rex breathes out and starting up his comms and camera. Kix looks up at you and giggles, and you smile back at him. 

"Go on bud, go see Cody." Sure enough, Kix waddles his way across the porch to Cody, who sweeps him off his feet with a laugh. 

"There's my little soldier." Kix just smiles and waves his hands around, and you press a kiss to his forehead. 

"You took your first steps!" Kix just blinks up at you with a smile, and you use your hands to clap his together. "Yay!" 

You look up at Rex, who still seems shocked more than anything. "They can just...do that? Walk on their own so easily?" 

"It was only a few steps, but pretty much. Like a said, he's a little tyrant, he'll crash his way around until he can really walk." Rex moves and picks up Cody's bag from the stairs, bringing it back towards the house. 

"Children, I tell you. They grow up too fast." Cody laughs and walks inside, turning back to smile at you. 

"Look whose talking." 

-

For once, you woke up before Rex, likely knocked out from staying up so late doing maker-knows-what. You take in his sleeping figure beside you and prop yourself up on an elbow to gently run a hand up his side, tracing over old scars. He stirs slowly in his sleep, blinking up at you. "Mornin', cyare." 

"Good morning." You whisper back, leaning in to kiss him. His hand slides up to cup your cheek, deepening the kiss as he pulls you towards him. "Easy there, we don't want Kix to have a sibling just yet, now do we?" 

Rex groans and falls back down onto the bed with a sigh. "It's tempting, but I've already changed enough diapers to last a lifetime." A wail echos from the next room over and you share a tired smile, tossing the blankets off you. "I'll go get breakfast started, you take care of Kix?" 

"Fine. I want extra sugar in my caf." You quickly slip into the nursery, picking up Kix and cradling him to your chest. "Easy, easy there buddy." It'd always been a habit of yours, to call people buddy, but after the whole 'Buddy' incident, you stopped after it jogged up too many memories. But with Kix, it seems so natural to, and he slowly calms down. "There's my little guy. You have a good sleep?" 

You move out into the hallway and are met with the distinct smell of caf, and you smile as you descend the stairs. Rex meets you at the bottom of the stairs with a mug that you gladly accept, leaning up against the counter. Rex leans over to get a look at Kix, and Kix's face lights up with a giggle. "How come you're always excited to see your dad and not me?" 

Kix mumbles in response as Rex laughs, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I'm sure he's happy to see his mom too." 

"I get tears, you get laughs! Not fair, little one, not fair." You hold Kix out to Rex, and he scoops him up with a grin. You'll never get over that - the look Rex saves for Kix, the brightness in his eyes of a younger man, one without pain or hidden demons, just a dad and his son. You smile and take a sip of caf, deciding what to make for breakfast. "Do we have any eggs left?" 

"I believe so." You open the fridge and pull out the container, just enough to get some omelettes started to breakfast. Another perk of no longer being at war, and no longer being with the Republic, was getting to cook your own food. No more ration bars or powder for dinner, now you had access to actual food. It took Rex awhile to learn how to make everything correctly (along with a few kitchen fires). "Kix, can you say mom? Ma-ma?" 

Kix babbles away, nothing major yet, and you crack an egg into the bowl. "Kix?" You turn your head over your shoulder as Kix turns to look at you. "Can you say dada? Da-da?" 

"Dadadadada." Kix babbles on, and you drop an egg onto the floor with a gasp. 

"Kix, Kix, say dada!" Rex repeats, bouncing Kix excitedly. 

"Dadadada...dada?" You let out a laugh as you clap your hand together, moving to stand beside Rex. 

You expect Rex to say something, maybe laugh, but instead, you're met with silence, and as you study his face, you can't help how it break your heart for a second as tears brim his eyes. You cup his cheek and wipe them away as Kix looks up in concern. "I'm dada." He whispers, and if it weren't for his tears you might've laughed at how ridiculous the words sound coming from his mouth. 

"Kix's first words. Of course they're dada." Rex looks up with a chuckle, reaching up with his own hand to wipe at his eyes. "Just for that, I'm making you clean up the egg." 

"The egg?" Rex peers around you and starts to laugh again, shaking his head. "Did you drop an egg?" 

"It was an exciting moment!" You take Kix from Rex and spin him around with a smile. "Next words mama, I swear it'll be." 

Rex wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into his side, tucking his head on top of your and presses a kiss to your forehead. "Unless Fives gets to him first." 

"Oh, maker." You mutter, knowing Fives will definitely be the uncle to teach him curse words first. "Think we can scare him out of it?" 

"What do you have in mind?" Rex asks, confusion plain in his voice.

"If Kix learns a single swearword from him, no more visit." You say with a smile, pressing a kiss to the top of Kix's head. "That'd make him stop." 

Rex laughs and shifts to hug you, Kix resting between your chest. "That's not scary, cyare, that's just cruel." 

-

"Is that a tree?" You look up from your spot on the floor, Kix in your lap bundled in layers. Winter had finally hit Naboo, and it was much colder than you expected it to be. 

"A Christmas tree, remember?" Rex takes a long moment to stare between you and the tree before nodding slowly. "You decorate it and put the presents under it?" 

"Oh, yes, under...a tree." You roll your eyes and turn back to the partially destroyed art project in front of you. "What're you making?" 

Well, they're supposed to be ornaments, but Kix and paint don't mix too well. "Decorations for the tree." 

"We're hanging up that...on a tree." You scoff and reach up to grab Rex by the wrist, pulling him to sit beside you. 

"Stop being so critical and enjoy the fun!" You dip a finger into the paint in front of you and swipe it across Rex's nose with a laugh. He recoils in response, reaching to grab some of the paint himself. 

"Oh, you're going to get it now, cyare." He dips the tips of his fingers into the blue paint and swipes it across your cheek with a chuckle. You know, very easily, this could turn into a paint battle, and you'd rather save the clean up afterwards. Rex reaches for the paint again and you grab his arm with a wheeze. 

"No, no, no paint wars, I want my living room intact." Rex rolls his eyes but pulls his hand back, instead opting to watch Kix smack at the large paper in front of you. 

He looks up at you both with a grin, and Rex dips a finger into the paint again and draws a star of Kix's paper. "You started it." 

"And you should know better than to finish it." You argue, standing to go find a washcloth for the both of you. 

"Hey, now that's not fair." Rex pouts as you dip into the kitchen, grabbing a washcloth and running it under some water. 

"You're the captain! You used to be all rules and regulations, what happened to that?" You joke with a laugh, walking over and bending down to wipe the washcloth across his nose, wiping away the paint. 

"Believe it or not, a certain someone changed that." He takes the washcloth from you and wipes off your cheek with a soft smile. There's a knock at the door and you both stare at each other, and despite it being years since you've last fought, since you've felt hunted, it doesn't escape in these moments. 

Rex stands slowly, blaster on his hip like always, and he approaches the door. It's far too early to be anyone you know, and you gently take Kix into your arms as you wait for the worst. "You've seen better days," A young voice laughs, and you can't help but laugh along as you step into the hallway. 

"Ahsoka?" Rex manages to choke out, staring down at her in disbelief. It'd been so long since you'd last seen her before Kix was even born. She sent gifts and called occasionally, but she was off fighting her own battles. You knew just how strong her and Rex's bond was, and the longer time spent apart, the more he worried for her. "What are you doing here?" 

"Uh, it's Christmas Eve." She steps into the house with a smile, gifts in arm. "Fives sent me the invitation." 

"Fives?" Rex turns to look at you with a matching look of confusion, and Ahsoka drops the gifts from her arms as soon as she spots you. 

Kix giggles and waves his still paint-messy hands, and she slowly turns her gaze from him to you, shock turning into a smile. "He's so big!" 

"He's our little warrior, that's for sure." Ahsoka walks over, stepping over the pile of gifts, and gently brushes some hair from his face. 

"Rex, he looks...just like you," Her last part tapers off into a whisper, knowing how many times Rex's looks have been compared to others. But for once, you know the comparison isn't that of a clone. Like all his brothers, he weighs the same, talks the same, lives the same, or at least he did. But now, with Kix, he has a whole new reason to love sharing a face. 

It's the tan-ness of his skin, the stark black of his hair, glistening eyes and perfect smile. It's the way he's already a fighter, trying to walk more and talk more and surpassing every expectation. "He has his mother smile," Rex says with a fond laugh. "That's all her." 

"Well, he's just perfect. May I hold him?" You pass off Kix and move to clean up the rest of the paint from the living room. "This is such a beautiful place you have, Rex! I was half expecting you to live out of a broken walker or something." 

"Once again, that's all her. She decorated it and everything." You watch Ahsoka pause in the kitchen, eyes tracing over the pictures framed on the wall. Her shoulders slouch ever-so-slightly, and you wonder what the world must be like to her. So young, and lost so much. Yet here she stands, strong through it all, the toughest fighter you've known in a long time. 

Rex joins her side and they make quiet conversation, reminiscing about old times and old pranks. It's next to her you see the wear-and-tear of Rex's age, from the wrinkles forming on his skin to his lightning reflexes slowing. Two worlds, somehow completely different and exactly the same, suffering through a shared past. Ahsoka turns and traces a finger over the photo of the 501st, eyes dropping at Anakin and Obi-Wan. "Well, you did a great job. This really is a nice little home. Where did you get all these photos?" 

"Oh, I just saved them over time. I could share some if you like." Ahsoka smiles up at you with teary eyes, and toss the remains of your art experiment into the garbage.

"That would be wonderful. Now, where's Fives and Echo?" You and Rex share another confused look. "He's the one that gave me an invite to your Christmas party after all." 

"We're not hosting a Christmas party." The door blasts open right on time and Fives appears with his own gifts, a smile on his face. 

"You are now! I hope you don't mind, but I wanted a nice warm place for Christmas instead of a battlefield." You laugh and help take some of the boxes from him. Like Ahsoka, both he and Echo had been off fighting their own battles, charting across the galaxy for answers.

Ahsoka scoffs, sitting on the couch and bouncing Kix in her lap. "I swear, I thought it was a real Christmas party." 

"Well, it is now." You drop the gifts off by the tree, suddenly realizing you have nothing for anyone besides Kix and Rex. "Oh, I didn't get-" 

"You're letting us crash your house, that's gift enough." Fives pulls you into a hug and you wrap your arms around his neck, and it makes you yearn for the good old days. Just like Rex, he's started showing signs of ageing, though you'd never point it out. The faintest of grey hairs accenting his stubble, the smile lines by his eyes. "Civvie, how quickly can you roast something?" 

"Oh, maker." You chew on your bottom lip in thought. "How does ordering in sound?" 

"Anything is better than those ration bars," Echo says with a laugh of his own, and you pull him in for a hug too. "Good to see you, Civ." 

Fives leans over Ahsoka, playing with Kix's hands. "There's my favourite nephew." 

"He's your only nephew," Rex mutters as he lowers himself down into an armchair. 

"Oh, I'm sure there are plenty of nieces and nephews we don't know about," Fives says with a wink, and Echo smacks his arm. "What! Kix is still my favourite." 

"Can I get you anything to drink? Any caf?" All three perk up at the mention of caf, and you go about getting the next brew ready. "Well, this will certainly be something new. Our first proper Christmas as a family." 

Rex joins you in the kitchen, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "It'll be chaotic, that's what it will be." 

"Hey, it's your side of the family." You say with a smile, flattening a hand against his chest. "I don't think they can be anything other than chaotic." 

"We can still hear you, you know!" Ahsoka calls from the living room and you roll your eyes. 

*

When you first signed up for the Auxilary Forces, you had expected something worthwhile, something new, something grand. You didn't expect the blood, the loss, or the violence. The demons that haunt your sleep and the friends you never get to buy one last round. You didn't expect the pain or leaving it all behind to create a new life. 

There were days where you saw them, those ghosts of your past, floating past the corner of your eye. That you'd hear an engine start and prepare to feel the whole world shake under your feet, or have thunder strike and duck your head, trying to protect yourself. There are nights where it's you, stood over Kix's crib, making sure he's alive. Laying awake just to feel Rex breath beside you, trapped back in the days where a single beat was the difference between life and death. 

Least of all, you didn't expect the war to result in this. A room filled with family, curled around the fire, mugs of caf and glasses of wine scattered with take-out boxes across the table. Telling old stories of triumphant battles, disappearing generals and ladies at bars who were still owed dances all these years later. 

Kix, curled up in your arms, fast asleep, a living reminder that after every battle, and every death, the sun can still shine on battlefields. Rex, sat beside you, hand tracing gently shapes on your arm, listening as Fives and Ahsoka debate on who cooked the best soup in the mess hall, as Cody and Echo laugh quietly about inside jokes and a bond only a war could bring. 

A perfect family, all yours, even just for one evening. Rex presses a kiss to your temple, and the conversation dies down, replaced by the crackling of the fire. "Civ," Cody says, turning to look at you from across the couch. "You're the one person here who actually volunteered for the war." He states evenly, and you're surprised sometimes how easily they can bring it up, even with the terrible memories that resurface along with it. "Do you really think it was worth it?" 

"Well, that's a loaded question." You respond, shifting Kix on your chest. "Because without the war, I wouldn't have Rex, I wouldn't have Kix, I wouldn't have...all this." You say with a fond smile that quickly turns bittersweet. "But...You know, when my family and friends heard me talk about enlisting, they all thought I was crazy. That I was signing up to die, or to rot away somewhere. I saw it as a chance to finally live free, travel, be a part of something bigger. If I'd known about the sleepless nights, the terrible rations, and all the hardships that came with it...I don't think anyone would've chosen to live through that." 

"And yet you did." He responds, taking a sip from his glass. 

"And yet I did." You echo, the words resonating. Despite all the terrible days, the bloodstains and tears, you stayed. Despite the heart-ache and the happy memories you can never get back, you stayed. Despite it all, you were there, right alongside them all, never doubting your place on the battlefield for a moment. "So, it had to be worth it, you know? If given the choice, would any of you have fought in the war?" 

Silence echoes around the room enough to answer you. "I think," Rex begins to say above you before stopping. "I think no one had a choice. About the good or the bad. Fate decided how that war ended, not us. So...Was it worth it? We'll never know." 

"People used to say that I was braver, for signing up and volunteering for fighting in the war." You stare into your mug, that gala night still clear in your mind. "After all, who'd sign up for war? I think you were all braver for fighting without a say. You're the ones who suffered, and you didn't have a choice, yet you never complained." 

"Fives complained," Echo says with a smile. "A lot." 

"Most of you never complained," You adjust with a grin on your own. "Maker, are we turning into those old people who sit on their front porches and talk about war?" 

Rex chuckles softly beside you. "Cyare, we already do that." 

"Well, I don't like it, we need to come up with a new topic. Ahsoka, you're young, you're hip, what's the latest gossip?" Ahsoka just stares at you, face deflated. 

"You did not just say that." You roll your eyes and lean back into Rex more. "Seriously, you did not just say that!" 

You all share a laugh and Ahsoka spirals into gossip about some foreign planet, and your eyes grow heavy as you rest your head on Rex's shoulder. You never meant to make it a habit, at the beginning of all this, to fall asleep on Rex so easily. But he's such a perfect constant, warm and protective, you can't sleep without him. 

The night rages on, with more rounds and drunken reminiscing as the snow falls outside, and you're happy. So, so happy, to finally be with your family through it all, getting to spend one happy day together. 

-

There was nothing quite like summers on Naboo. Of all the planets you'd stayed on, and of all the locations, nothing beats this. A warm summer evening, sat on the front porch, lemonade in hand. Rex and Kix play in the front garden, Kix perched on Rex's shoulder as he squeals with laughter. 

It feels like just yesterday he was born, and now he's already grown up so much. Five, just lost his first tooth, has his first day of school coming up. If you think you're a proud mom, Rex is an ever prouder dad. Kix does everything to be like him - wants his hair dyed, tries to pick up clone slang, shadows him around all hours of the day. 

"Mama, mama!" Kix squeals as Rex sets him down, his head barely poking out through the tall grass. "Did you see? We were flying!" 
"I did see. Are you going to be a pilot one day?" Kix skips over and sits beside you, taking his cup of lemonade and downing it. 

"The best pilot ever." Rex bends down to get something and comes up with a flower, gently tucking it behind your ear, and you smile up at him. It's shocking, to Rex, how little you age. Years have gone by and you remain the same as the first day he met you, youthful and shining. He can tell he's ageing, the blonde dye only covering so much. He's terrified of the day he has to say goodbye, stripped of the chance of a full life, but every time you ease his fears, smiling and whispering softly about how no matter what, you'll spend every day by his side. 

You blush softly and turn to rub some dirt from Kix's cheek, and what's even more shocking is just how real his feelings still are. Not a day has passed that his thoughts or feelings for you have wavered, maker, they've only grown stronger. One day, he'll tell you this all aloud, but for now, he'll just sit on the dirt path and watch you two giggle about some little joke. "I think it's bedtime for you, little one." 

"But mama!" You furrow your brow and he sighs, falling into your lap. "Fine. Can you at least read me a bedtime story?" 

"Why don't you have your dad tell you one of his stories? Hmm?" Kix lights up instantly, moving from your lap to jump up and down by the door with a grin. 

"Yeah! Please, Dad?" Rex stands with a groan and stretches. "The one with uncle Cody!" 

You laugh softly, knowing all the tall-tales his uncles have fed him, like lightsaber battles and battles that never happened. You stand as Rex picks Kix up again, and you press a kiss to the top of Kix's head. "Sounds like a plan. Goodnight, Kix." 

"Night, mama." You lean up to press a kiss to Rex's cheek, and he meets your halfway, a quick kiss. Kix giggles and hides his face in Rex's shoulder, shaking his head. "Gross." 

"You won't be saying that someday," Rex teases as he moves into the front hall. "One day you'll say the opposite." 

With a sigh, you sit on the front bench and yawn, letting the silence of Naboo surround you. No squealing kids, no chatter, nothing but the soft hum of bugs and the sound of a motor in the far off distance. Another difference from all the other planets is just how clear the skies are here. On Coruscant, or any other big planet, the sky was so polluted you could barely make out anything. 

But here, every constellation is crystal clear. You stand and pick up the cups from the floor, and spend a moment just to stare at the sky again. The moons hang perfectly in the sky, and there really is nothing like summers on Naboo. The sound of an engine approaching breaks you from your thoughts, wondering who's coming out this far this late at night, and fear spikes in you. 

It might've been five years since the war, but it still holds so much power over your life. Someone could be here for Rex, or because you're rebels, anything. And to make your fears worse, the speeder stops at the end of your driveway, and someone dismounts. Halfway up to you, they stop, and you pray Rex can hear the commotion. The only thing you have to protect yourself is cups, and they have a blaster hanging off their waist. 

A blaster...just like Rex's. Even in the dark, you can tell it's military-grade, ones you've seen the clones use a million times. "Can I help you?" 

"Civ?" An all too familiar voice asks, and your heart stops. Because that's Rex's voice, that's Cody's and Five's and Echo's, that's the voice of a clone. A clone who knows you, who you obviously don't. They reach up and lower their hood, and the cups drop from your hands in shock as the world goes still. 

Because standing in your front yard is a ghost. 

It's Kix. The real Kix, the medic you never got to say goodbye to, who was missing the most from your photo wall. 

Rex never did truly explain what happened to him, only that...that he died. Yet here he stood, just like the day you last saw him. Hell, you're pretty sure he's still wearing his uniform. "Kix?" You finally respond, taking a wary step into the grass.

"Holy kriff." In an instant, you're rushing towards him, years of hidden emotions letting go at once. Kix was, arguably, one of the first people you truly connected to in the 501st, the one you could turn to when the world fell apart, who patched you and Rex up and saved your lives so many times you couldn't count them all. 

You throw your arms around him and he catches you, spinning you around as you break down in his arms. "How the hell are you alive?" 

"What do you mean?" He asks as he sets you down, confusion plain on his face. "I never died." 

"Get the-" Rex finally appears at the front door, blaster in hand, and as soon as he and Kix lock eyes he lowers the blaster, confusion replacing the anger on his face. Kix just smiles up at him and offers a small wave. "Kix?" 

"Hello, Captain." Like you, Rex is down off the porch and beside you in an instant, blaster dropped in the dirt. "Long time no see." 

Rex stares between you and him in disbelief, and you can tell Rex truly thought that Kix was dead along with everyone else. "There's no way you're alive, you...you disappeared." 

"Someone please explain this." You ask, wiping away tears. 

"Sometime after Echo was rescued, and the whole 'chip' fiasco happened...Kix went to go try and find answers. And we never heard back from him, we just assumed he died or deserted." Kix's expression turns angry quick, folding his arms. 

"I would never willingly leave my brothers." He argues, and Rex nods solemnly. 

"We know, that's why it was so hard to believe." Disappeared. Gone, just like that. Rex told you he died, probably to save you the heartache that is hope. But now, here he is, and somehow it still doesn't answer all the questions. "Where have you been?" 

Kix scratches the back of his neck. "It's been a long story. But basically frozen in time." 

"Mama?" You all turn to see Kix, your little Kix, stood on the front porch, blanket in hand, and real-Kix's jaw drops. 

"You had a son?" He whispers, and you wave little-Kix over. He quickly rushes to your side and you pick him up, bouncing him on your hip. 

"Everything's okay, buddy. Your uncle just came to visit." Little-Kix just looks confused, turning to study real-Kix.

"But he's not Cody or Fives. Or Echo." He states with a yawn. "Is from your side?" 

You laugh softly, tucking his hair away from his face. "No, this is one of dad's long lost brothers." 

"Cody, Fives, and Echo are all alive?" Kix asks, voice edging on relief. You smile and nod, and Jesse's absence comes to the forefront of your mind, and the smile fades. Frozen in time. He'll have...no idea. Of the pain, the deaths, the betrayal. Nothing. 

"Kix," Rex states, and both turn to look at him. "Meet Kix." 

They then turn to look at each other, and real-Kix looks on the verge of tears. "You...you named him Kix?" 

"Of course we did," You say with a sniff, still trying to calm yourself. "It needed to be special." 

"How mad did that make Fives?" Kix says with a laugh, and you can see the tears forming in his eyes. 

"So mad, you have no idea. Come inside, there's...maker, there's so much to talk about." You say, turning to walk up the path and give Rex and Kix a moment. 

Without hesitation, Rex pulls Kix in for a hug, and when you turn back, you can see the shock on Kix's face. He easily melts into the hug and they stand there for a long time, and little-Kix yawns in your arms. "Why are you all sad? Shouldn't you be happy?" 

"We are happy, they're happy tears. We're just sad we haven't seen each other in a very long time." You step inside, carefully closing the door behind you. "Now it's far past your bedtime. Let's get you in-" 

"Can't I stay up and meet uncle Me?" You laugh and shake your head, and while he's not wrong, he probably shouldn't call him that. 

"Your uncle Kix. And you can meet him tomorrow, okay? Tonight me and your dad just need some time." You walk upstairs and find his bedroom door slightly barricaded by Kix's dresser, likely from Rex trying to stop whatever the threat he was hearing was. How Kix managed to move it and get out, you have no idea, but that'll be a question for morning.

You tuck him into bed and press a kiss to his forehead, and his hand comes up to play with the necklace Rex gave you. He'd crafted another matching piece for Kix so that, no matter what, you'd both always have pieces of him. "Why does dad get sad when he's with his brothers?" 

"Because your dad and uncles have been through a lot. And some of dad's other brothers...aren't here anymore, so they get sad when they can't see them anymore." You flip on the nightlight by his bed, a little planet with rings. "But don't you worry about dad, okay? Because being sad is normal sometimes, especially on nights like tonight." 

"But tonight was a happy night." You smile and move his hair away from his forehead.

"Tonight's a very happy night! We had fun, we got to meet uncle Kix. But on days where we're really happy, we're sad we can't be happy with those we miss." Kix just stares, likely too young to really understand what's going on. "Goodnight, buddy, I love you." 

He yawns and furrows into his blankets with a smile. "Night mama." 

You creep back downstairs and find Rex and Kix staring at the photos on the wall, and Kix can't take his eyes of the team photos, and you find Jesse in the crowd. Kix just turns to look at you, eyes bloodshot, and you gently place a hand on his shoulder. "Did...Did Jesse survive?" 

"Jesse...didn't make it," Rex answers for you. "He died in a crash." Not a lie, but not exactly the truth either. Kix presses the palms of his hands to his eyes, and you gently pull him towards the living room, sitting him down on the couch. 

"Six years," He sobs quietly as you pull him into a hug. "Six years and everyone's gone. W-When they unfroze me and told me everything, I didn't believe them. I thought it was a cruel joke. But maker, it all happened. Then there was this-this rumour about this clone out on Naboo or something and I had to come see." 

"We're still here, we're still kicking." You say with a laugh, gently running a hand up and down his back. "And so is Cody, and Rex, and Echo and Fives and Ahsoka." 

Kix pausing, pulling away from the hug. "Ahsoka? But all the Jedi-" 

"Long story," Rex mutters, and you share a smile. "But she made it. And according to Cody, more Jedi might have survived too." 

"If only I was there to stop it, I knew! I knew about the chips, sir-" Rex sighs, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"Call me Rex, Kix. You haven't called me sir since we first joined the 501st." Kix laughs at that, rubbing at his eyes. 

It must be so strange, coming back into this world with no knowledge of what happened. Maybe it's for the best, not being there when the order was called and having to see his brothers die, but having to find out this way...it's a tragedy of its own. "Old habits die hard, and all that. But really, I could've stopped all this." 

"If you're forgetting, you were kind of frozen in time" You soothe, and the tears slowly stop as Kix collects himself, and it's so strange to see him so...open, unlike his normal formal self. Six years lost can do that to someone.

"Still." He argues, and you sigh and stand. Knowing the clones, he's likely been travelling without the need for food or drink, engineered to last forever on nothing.

"No still. Now, do you want anything to eat or drink? Caf? Alcohol?" He perks up at that and you can't help but smile, knowing the clones will never turn down a drink.

"You know, a drink doesn't sound half bad right now." He says with a laugh, and you turn to the kitchen. 

"I know we have something stashed away. And you're welcome to stay for as long as you need, Kix." He was the last brother you got back. The last ghost to return from the dead, the last piece to be salvaged from the war. Fives and Echo apparently saved a few more, one of Cody's men and one of Plo's, but the imperial armies stopped using old clones, instead using newer volunteers.

For those few days he stayed, it was like reliving a dream. A lie from your past, sitting in your living room making up for lost time. Even now, you see Kix and think it's a cruel joke your mind is playing on you, after dreaming of getting him back for all these years. Against all odds, he's here, the newest addition to your strange little family. 

That's what you are, after all. Family. Kix and Fives and Echo and Cody are more of your flesh and blood than anyone else in this world, and the hardest part is watching them grow old. Knowing one day, goodbyes will come, and you'll be left alone with Kix to live out a life you can no longer share, memories and stories only you can tell.

There's one page that's taken up by a single photo, one of all of you a few months after you found Kix. Ahsoka, Fives, Echo, Rex, Kix, Kix, Cody, and you. Your only complete family photo. Underneath, scribbled in messy Mando'a, is the saying

Aliit ori'shya tal'din

Family is more than blood.

After that, pages become less detailed. Kix's first bike, first day of school, first graduation, first girlfriend, moving out, growing up, getting old. And slowly, the pages of photos become that of just you and Rex. Anniversaries, birthdays, milestones you occasionally miss and trips you barely remember taking. 

Your eyes flood with tears as you close the scrapbook, your whole life sitting in your lap. Every happy moment, every perfect memory, everything you'd ever want to contain in one perfect bundle. 

By now, the years have dragged on and the pages die out. No more major milestones, no more frantic photo-taking. Birthdays grow a reminder of the end, and anniversaries a reminder of the beginning. So many years gone by in the blink of an eye, and as you look up and watch the sun dip over the trees, so many wishes come true. 

You stop counting how old you are, knowing that Rex's accelerated ageing makes it impossible to celebrate without a dark cloud hanging over it. Joints grow tired and movements slow, a lifetime weighing down on them. You set the book aside with a smile, and your hand comes up to clutch the piece of armour Rex had given you, all those years ago. 

A day doesn't go by that you don't wear it. 

So, in the end, this is life. This is what all those wars were fought for, all those lives lost, all those sleepless nights. To be here, watching the sunset over Naboo, without a worry in the world. Faces and names blur, lost by time, but you can picture them here with you, all culminating for one last time. 

Peace. So strange, in a galaxy so violent, but...peace. That's what this blanket of calm is. You've reached the end of your epic journey, and you reached it a long time ago. Now all that's left to do is sit and weight for your time, for the last sunset, and the last goodbye. A hand gently rests on your shoulder and you look up with a smile. "Are you making yourself cry again?" 

"No, cyare." You lie, wiping your eyes with a laugh. "Just thinking about the good old days." 

Rex carefully lowers himself onto the bench beside you with a groan and wraps his arm around your shoulders, dragging you into his side. "These are the good old days, what are you talking about?" 

"Oh, you know." The war. Hiding. Falling in love all over again. Kix. So many precious moments in the past, with so few to be made in the present. "Back when we could actually fight in wars without worrying about breaking our hips." 

"I could still fight in a war," He says, chest-puffing up with a smile. "Might just not make it out this time." 

"Don't say things like that." You mutter, reaching up to move some hair from his face. "Even as a joke." 

He leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead with a smile, then rests his against yours. "You know I'll always make it back to you, cyare. No matter what." 

"All these years and you never broke that promise." He leans away to look back out across the yard, and lets his hand link into yours, and brings it up to press a kiss to your scar. 

"What'd I tell you? You can't get rid of me that easy." You laugh softly and lean into his side, resting your head back against his shoulder. Somewhere, far across the galaxy, Fives and Echo were probably out for drinks, Ahsoka would be grown and fighting another fight, Cody sat amongst the sand dunes with an old friend watching the sunrise. 

And to think, this all started with Rex falling asleep on your shoulder. Looking up at him, you still see that young soldier, so hardened by war and yet so new to it all. Back then, you were nothing but a scared little civilian wrapped up in someone else's fight, trying to prove something to the world. 

Now? 

Now you're the old married couple down the road who spend their nights reminiscing about times they shouldn't have survived through, with grey hair and old features, living the perfect retired life. "You know what we haven't done in a while?" 

"What?" You ask, and Rex presses something on his comms and a radio station comes up, playing an old sweet tune that's more of a memory than anything else. You grin up at him as he stands, a hand held out to you. "My, we really haven't done this for a good while." 

"Just because we're old doesn't mean we still can't have fun." You stand and loop your arms around his neck, and his hands find your waist, perfectly slotting against your hips after years of resting there. He pulls you closer and you laugh, always eager to be in charge. 

You sway in place, slowly dancing around the porch. It truly has been years since you've danced like this, to old songs in the middle of the night. Before, it was the urgency to be close, to hold him before you had to go in the mornings, desperation of the thought that this would be your last. But by now, it's old and routine, just happy to be with him all these years. 

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead and spins you around, and you both share a smile. All those battles, all those fears and tears were worth it to stand here today, dancing under the moonlight to old songs. You gently lay your head against his shoulder and let the music take you away, and the world fades until it's just you and him, like it's always meant to be.

Notes:

And we've finally reached the end of the road - thank you all so much for sticking around to see this story to the end! I probably spent way too long writing this single chapter, but I needed Rex and Civ's story to end in the way that felt right. This story has gotten so much crazy support for my first multi-chapter story out there, and I cannot thank y'all enough!

Here's to the next big thing, CCaptain.

(And lets just pretend that Kix got unfrozen five years after the war, not fifty)

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