Archive of Our Own ^beta

In a little village on the little island of Fuyutsuki, where only half the households had telephones and even fewer had personal computers, life was slow and uneventful—most of the time. But when things happened, they happened quickly and often unexpectedly, so Kosame was almost unsurprised when he came home from a long day at the kendo dojo to find a nearly naked and very attractive man, one he'd never seen before, stepping out of the bathroom.

He was still a little surprised and he did still scream a bit because, well, he'd just come home from a long day at the kendo dojo to find a nearly naked and very attractive man, one he'd never seen before, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Fumi!" he shrieked. "Get in your room and barricade the door, there's an intruder!"

"Oh, calm down. It's only Appare." Fumi came around the corner just as Kosame struck a defensive pose. She rolled her eyes as she breezed past him with an armful of what looked like Kosame's high school gym clothes, which she offered to the man who wore only a little towel around his waist. "Here, Appare. You can borrow these until your clothes are dry."

Kosame slowly lowered his arms. "I've missed something," he guessed. "Fumi, who's this?"

"Appare," Fumi repeated with a long-suffering huff. "Dad is renting him the old house by the sea for the summer, but the water there isn't working, so Dad's having a look and Appare's borrowing our bath because a seagull pooped on him when he arrived."

"Oh, that makes sense." Kosame relaxed. It did make sense. Their father was notoriously bad at remembering to tell them things like whether someone had rented out the old house by the sea or whether his next fishing trip would last a day or a month, and the gulls at the pier were just awful, so Fumi's explanation checked out.

Kosame turned to Appare. "I'm sorry to hear your arrival wasn't more pleasant. I hope it won't color your view of our humble island," he said, extending a hand in greeting. "I'm Isshiki Kosame."

Appare said nothing and did nothing. He had taken the clothes from Fumi, only to hold them under one arm as he stood in front of the bathroom door, dripping water and staring off into the distance with a faraway look in his eyes.

Kosame blinked and looked at Fumi. "Is he okay?"

"He's Sorano Appare," Fumi said, like that explained everything. She huffed again when Kosame gave her a blank look. "You know. The rocket scientist?"

Kosame, who most certainly did not know, gasped and said, "The what now?"

Sorano Appare, as it turned out, was a certified genius. It said so on his Wikipedia page, which also called him an applied physicist, aerospace engineer, and inventor. Kosame had pulled up the article on the family's shared computer after his dad returned to collect Appare and shepherd him back down to the house by the sea.

"And he's twenty-two years old," Kosame moaned, the next day, when he stopped by the grocery store during Xialian's shift. "Twenty-two, Xialian! A year younger than me, and he's a rocket scientist."

"Do you want to be a rocket scientist, Kosame?" Xialian asked.

"Well, no, but—"

"Is your dream still to inherit the dojo?" she continued.

"Yes, of course, but—"

"Then why compare yourself to Sorano Appare?" She paused in restocking the instant noodles to look at him. "He seems to be a very different person who lives a very different life, that's all."

Kosame mulled it over for a moment and realized she was right. Maybe it was true that Appare, at twenty-two, had already accomplished objectively greater things than Kosame ever would in his whole life, but that was fine. No, really. It was fine. Some people dedicated their lives to putting a man on Mars, and some people taught kendo. There was nothing wrong with that.

"I do wonder what he's doing here," Kosame mused as he started shopping for the items on the grocery list he'd found on the kitchen counter back home. "Summer break? No, that can't be it. He doesn't seem like the 'summer break' type of person."

"He isn't an alien, Kosame."

Kosame spun towards her, wide-eyed, brandishing a carton of eggs. "But he might know about them! I hadn't thought of that. Aliens, Xialian! Do you think he knows about aliens?"

"You could ask him," she suggested, "when you bring him his groceries."

Kosame nodded enthusiastically. "I'll definitely ask when I bring him—I'm bringing him his groceries?"

Xialian stared pointedly at the shopping list in Kosame's hand, then gave him a sympathetic look. "Your father really doesn't tell you much of anything, does he?"

In the end it was Xialian who explained it all, because Kosame's father had apparently told her plenty of things when he'd picked up some things earlier that morning.

The arrangement Kosame's father and Appare had struck involved keeping Appare sheltered, fed, and watered for the better part of the next three months. Appare, as Kosame had suspected, wasn't in Fuyutsuki for any sort of break. He was there to seek some peace and quiet while he worked on projects that involved words like telemetry and ion propulsion, and thus he was not to be disturbed by unannounced visitors or trivial matters such as shopping for groceries.

Of course, after getting Appare settled in with promises to stock his pantry and refrigerator the next morning, Kosame's father had taken off at the break of dawn on a fishing boat with a bunch of tourists and no promises of returning anytime soon.

So it fell to Kosame to keep Appare fed and watered, which Kosame was happy to do, though he might have liked to have been asked ahead of time.

The old house Appare had moved into was quiet when Kosame made his way out with two bulging paper bags packed full of basic necessities, like rice and miso and toilet paper. It was an admittedly rundown place, drafty in the winter and prone to letting in stray moths and mosquitos in the summer. It had once belonged to Kosame's maternal grandparents, and it was where his mother had grown up. His father kept it in a livable condition, even if that condition could only be described as barely livable, and Kosame had plans to move in one day, once Fumi was all grown up.

But, for now, it wasn't his home or his mother's home or his grandparents' home. It was just the old house by the sea, which for the rest of the season would house a living national treasure. Kosame had to remind himself to knock when he arrived. When there was no answer, he knocked again.

When there was no answer to that, either, he hesitated some more over letting himself in uninvited. He did have a key because it was pretty much only a matter of time before he inherited the house, but it seemed rather rude to barge in on a genius at work. On the other hand, he had perishables. It hadn't been on the shopping list, but Kosame had picked up some ice cream along with Appare's other groceries, because everybody's summer could be made a little better with some ice cream.

His concern for the rapidly melting ice cream eventually outweighed his concern for Appare's privacy. Kosame knocked one last time before he let himself in.

"Appare?" he called out. "It's Kosame, I brought food. Did you have anything to eat for breakfast?"

There was no response to that either, and Kosame was starting to expect the silence. He stepped around the cardboard boxes that littered the entryway, most of which were still taped shut, and made his way to the kitchen to pack away the groceries. He hummed as he worked, taking his time, figuring Appare was either still sleeping—though it was half past ten already—or out somewhere. Taking a walk along the beach to clear his head, maybe. That seemed like the sort of thing a genius would do, didn't it?

By the time he finished organizing the fridge and cabinets, Kosame had become so convinced that Appare was either asleep or away that he shrieked when he turned and found Appare standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"You do that a lot," Appare noted.

"You come out of nowhere a lot!" Kosame argued. His face felt hot. This was their second meeting, and it was the second time he had greeted Appare with a scream. So far the whole encounter was going rather like their first, except for the part where Appare was wearing more clothes and actually looking at Kosame, rather than through him.

Kosame took the opportunity to look at Appare too, and he couldn't help but notice that Appare looked very nice.

His hair was a lot, well, bigger than it had been when it was wet. His eyes seemed somehow sharper and brighter, without that distant look that must have indicated he was lost in thoughts Kosame could never hope to understand. He wore loose pants cuffed halfway up his shins and a soft-looking NASA shirt. On anyone else, Kosame would have figured the shirt had come from some shop at some mall. But knowing what he now knew about Appare, he could only assume it was the genuine article.

"Do you work for NASA?" he blurted out.

"No, I'm Japanese," Appare said. "You brought food?"

So you do eat, Kosame thought.

Except he did more than think it, apparently, because Appare gave him a consternated look and said, "Of course I eat."

As though to demonstrate, Appare walked past him, grabbed and peeled a sizable banana, and devoured it in three enormous bites before tossing the peel into the sink and disappearing back inside the house. Kosame was left standing in the kitchen, blinking in his wake and feeling distinctly intimidated and maybe just a teensy bit aroused.

"I forgot to ask him about the aliens!" Kosame exclaimed, apropos of nothing, while having dinner with Xialian that night.

She raised her eyebrows. "Really? You seemed pretty excited about that this morning."

"I was. I am. I just got distracted."

"By what?"

Kosame blushed and said, "Um."

Just three days later, Kosame found himself trekking back to the shore. He'd delivered enough food to last Appare a good week, and he suspected Appare was the sort who wouldn't want to be disturbed any more than strictly necessary, but Fumi had made too much dango with her cooking club at school and wanted to share some with Appare.

Also, no one in the village had seen Appare emerge from that house since Kosame's father dropped him off on the night of his arrival. So there were concerns.

"He's just busy," Kosame told himself as he approached the house. "Busy, healthy, and most certainly not dead or dying."

Much to his surprise, and immense relief, Kosame actually received an answer when he knocked. In fact, the door flew open barely a second after his knuckles brushed the frame, revealing Appare in what looked like the exact same NASA shirt he had been wearing three days ago.

Kosame, to his credit, didn't scream this time. But he did jump a little.

"Hardware store," Appare said.

"Dango!" Kosame exclaimed, at the exact same time. He thrust out the container Fumi had sent him to deliver, as an excuse for his visit, before he registered what Appare had said. "Oh, the hardware store? It isn't too far, but you'll need to take the ferry to the main island. Would you like me to show you the way?"

"Fine." Appare took the box and stepped into a pair of geta by the door. "Let's go."

"Oh, right now. We're going right now." Kosame had an hour before he was due at the dojo, which was located on the main island anyway, so he nodded. "Sure, let's go right now. Are you building something?"

"No," Appare said, already setting off in the general direction of the pier.

Kosame closed and locked the door, which Appare had left open. He waited for Appare to continue speaking, but Appare was apparently finished. He said nothing more and, instead, simply lifted the lid of the bento box, took out one of the dango skewers, and crammed his cheeks full like a little chipmunk.

Appare was, Kosame realized, pretty rude. He seemed to have no interest in or patience for social niceties.

He was also very cute.

Kosame made a few attempts at making conversation—"How are you liking Fuyutsuki?" and "Where are you visiting from?" and "Is there anything you can tell me about aliens?"—on their way to the main island, but only received curt answers—"It's fine." and "Tokyo." and "Not really."—each time. Appare didn't speak until spoken to, so the last half of their trip, after Kosame stopped trying, was spent in silence until they arrived at the main island's only hardware store.

"It was good," Appare said, of his own accord, when he passed back the bento box. He had scarfed down more of the dango on the ferry ride over, though he seemed to be in the habit of inhaling his food so fast that Kosame had started to wonder if he ever even tasted it.

Kosame brightened visibly as he received the box. "Really? Fumi made them, she'll be excited to—that's my little sister. You met her the other day."

"I know," Appare said. "Thanks. Bye."

"Oh, uh—bye!"

Appare had already started walking away, disappearing into the shop almost before Kosame could so much as blink. He was sort of weird and impatient and seemed rather self-involved, but when Kosame looked into the bento box, he saw that Appare had left no skewer uneaten. And Fumi had packed in a lot of skewers.

Somehow, that only made Appare seem cuter.

"You think he's cute?" Xialian asked. Her tone was unjudgmental, but perhaps tinged with a hint of incredulity. "I met him briefly the day he arrived. Which part of him is cute?"

Kosame gave it some thought. They were having dinner at Kosame's place that night because Fumi had learned a new curry recipe from a friend and wanted to try it out on someone who wasn't related to her and therefore wasn't obligated to say her cooking was delicious regardless of how it actually tasted.

(Little did she know, Xialian adored her like family and would definitely say her cooking was delicious regardless of how it actually tasted. Fortunately for all parties involved, Fumi's cooking usually tasted great.)

"I think I like the way he eats," Kosame said, finally.

"You think you like the way he eats?" The incredulity had spiked. "How does he eat?"

"Quickly. Too quickly. We're talking eating-contest, choking-hazard speeds here, Xialian. He eats like he doesn't have time to eat."

"And you find that cute?"

"I think so." Kosame stroked his chin and stared into his cup of tea. "What else could it be? His personality is, well, kind of awful."

"His face?" Xialian suggested. "His face isn't bad, I think."

"Oh, his face is wonderful," Kosame agreed. "Maybe it's his face."

But, as Kosame was soon to discover, it wasn't only Appare's face and eating habits that he liked.

Kosame dropped by the house again two days later with a bag of fresh produce and no ulterior motives. Really, none. He was prepared to admit to himself that he may have developed a very small, very manageable, and somewhat ill-informed crush on the rocket scientist living in his late mother's childhood home, but he wasn't planning on doing anything about it.

Appare was very busy, very important, and only there for the summer. What could Kosame possibly do about it?

Once again, Kosame arrived at the house about an hour before he was due at the kendo dojo, which meant he wouldn't be able to stay long, but he suspected that would suit Appare just fine. He dawdled by the front door for a full five minutes, knocking several times and receiving no answer whatsoever, before he let himself in and found Appare in the entryway.

More specifically, he found Appare stuck halfway inside the wall of the entryway.

"At this point," Kosame complained, after he jumped and yelped and nearly dropped the bag of tomatoes and eggplants in his arms, "I'm beginning to think you're trying to make me scream."

"Why would I do that?" Appare asked blandly, with his head and arms still stuck inside a sizable hole in the wall.

"I don't know, Appare. I also don't know why you're inside the wall?"

"The wiring in this house," Appare said. "It's intolerable."

"Intolerable," Kosame echoed.

"Suboptimal."

"Suboptimal?"

"It's shit," Appare said, finally emerging from the hole with a headlight strapped to his forehead. Kosame had yet to comment on the hole, which was most certainly not a preexisting hole. "I'm fixing it."

"You're fixing it?"

Appare seemed to decide he'd had quite enough of that conversation. He stooped down and rifled through one of the bags from the hardware store that Kosame had led him to a few days earlier. After grabbing what he needed, he stuck his head right back into the wall.

Kosame took a moment to put two and two together. Appare was dissatisfied with the condition of the house. Fair enough, it was an old house. But rather than complain about it to Kosame's father, or even to Kosame, Appare had gone out of his way to find a hardware store and pick up things he would need to improve said dissatisfactory conditions.

It was sort of… incredible, and Kosame couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. His chest tightened and warmed, and his heart skipped a beat. "You're fixing my house?"

"It's my house," Appare said. His voice was muffled by the wall. "For another seventy-two days."

But it would be Kosame's house one day, once Fumi was all grown and married or otherwise independent. It was to be Kosame's drafty old house with shitty wiring, a real fixer-upper that he'd intended to work on after moving in. Not that he had any real idea of how to go about doing that, yet. He'd always figured he would have time to learn. He hadn't counted on some visiting physicist beating him to the punch.

"You're fixing my house," Kosame repeated, awed. His very small and very manageable crush was perhaps starting to become a little less small and manageable. "You don't have to do that. Aren't you very busy?"

"I'm already doing it, and this helps me think."

"About putting a man on Mars? I read an article that said you're trying to put a man on Mars."

"That was clickbait," Appare said. "That isn't what I'm working on right now."

Appare went on to say exactly what he was currently working on, but it involved a lot of words that Kosame didn't know. Kosame blinked at him—specifically, at his stomach—a few times before he said, "But you seem like you could put a man on Mars."

There was a moment of stillness. Kosame couldn't see through walls, and Appare hadn't emerged from the hole, but Kosame could tell he'd gone perfectly still. Like he was surprised. Or creeped out? No, it was probably just surprise. Kosame tried very hard to be an optimist.

"Thanks, I guess," Appare said, in the end. He shot Kosame a curious look when he emerged from the wall again, as though seeing him for the first time that day. "You don't sound like you're blowing smoke up my ass."

"I'm not! I wouldn't. I just think you're very impressive. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"That depends. What do you know about Mars?"

Kosame laughed. It had sounded like a joke, except for how Appare looked dead serious right up until Kosame clarified, "I meant with the house."

"Oh. What do you know about electrical engineering?"

"I see your point," Kosame conceded right away, because he knew precisely as much about electrical engineering as he did about Mars (which was to say, not much). "Could I at least make you some lunch?"

"No need." Appare turned and bent to grab something out of what looked like an old clay pot from the kitchen. When Kosame squinted, he realized with rapidly dawning horror that the 'something' was an uncooked potato, from which Appare promptly took a sizable bite with an audible crunch.

Kosame gasped. Then he marched up to Appare, slapped the potato out of his hand, and called in sick to work.

Xialian winced when Kosame finished recounting his latest encounter with Appare. "He was eating a raw potato?"

"It was unpeeled," Kosame wailed, morosely pushing a paint roller up and down one of the walls of the old garage Xialian had bought to renovate and reopen as her own repair shop. "So obviously I couldn't leave him alone. I made him lunch and dinner and miso soup that he could have for breakfast, but I froze the soup before I left and now I'm thinking that was a horrible mistake, because what if he doesn't know he's supposed to defrost it? What if he eats it like a popsicle?"

"He's not going to eat miso soup like a popsicle," Xialian said, laughing. But it was a short-lived laugh, soon replaced by a somber expression. "Then again, I suppose he did eat a raw potato in front of you. Was it maybe just undercooked?"

"It was extremely undercooked," Kosame confirmed. "As in, not at all cooked. Zero percent cooked."

"Ah." Xialian was starting to look a little green around the gills. "If he eats like he doesn't have time to eat, I guess it makes sense that he wouldn't have time to cook."

"Right! Exactly, right? I should have known. I can't believe I left him alone in that house with raw potatoes and a bag of uncooked rice. I'll have to keep cooking for him, or ask Fumi to make extra servings that I can bring him when she cooks." Kosame sighed. "What a nightmare."

"You and Fumi both enjoy cooking, don't you?"

"We do, but—" Kosame gestured inarticulately with the paint roller, splattering a few spots of blue on himself. "I just feel it may be unwise to spend a lot of time with an unobtainable genius who I think is cute. What if I fall in love with him?"

"Oh, Kosame," Xialian sighed. "You saw him bite into a raw, unpeeled potato, and you still think he's cute. I think it might be too late for you."

Kosame groaned. "That's what I was afraid of."

Isshiki Kosame was not the sort of man who fell in love at the drop of a hat.

Of course, that was a bald-faced lie, but it sort of helped Kosame sleep at night so he was going to keep telling himself that. Even if the exact opposite was actually true.

Historically, he had always been most susceptible to these abrupt and intense flights of romance during the summer months.

When he was sixteen, his father brought home a computer and the Isshiki family suddenly had internet access in the house for the very first time. Fumi had been too young to really care, preferring to spend her free time with friends from school. Kosame, on the other hand, quickly discovered a chatroom for kendo enthusiasts, befriended several of them, and fell for one.

She was a girl from Kyoto, a second-year in high school with aspirations to become her school's kendo team captain in her third year. Kosame felt all warm and fluttery when they talked, and they were soon emailing back and forth every day. When she suggested they exchange photos, Kosame took extra shifts at his part-time job and accompanied his dad on a few fishing trips to save up for a cell phone with a camera.

He sent a photo of himself first, because she was shy and uneasy about showing her face before seeing his, and Kosame had found that totally understandable and super cute.

She never did end up sending her photo in return. In fact, after Kosame sent along his photo, he never heard from the girl from Kyoto again.

After a few months of abject devastation, Kosame smacked himself in the face a few times and decided to stop taking it personally. These things happened, he told himself. Maybe there were extenuating circumstances. Maybe she wasn't a girl or his age or from Kyoto at all. Or maybe she just didn't like what she saw.

Two summers later, Kosame was hired on as an assistant instructor at the dojo where he'd first learned kendo. At around the same time, the senior instructor who would have been Kosame's mentor slipped a disc and recruited a temporary replacement from Nara to fill his shoes. The replacement was very tall and very funny, as well as a great, great deal older than Kosame. To be precise, he was the exact same age as Kosame's father.

Which didn't stop Kosame's stomach from doing wild acrobatics in the other man's presence. But Kosame successfully and deceitfully wrote off those feelings as admiration and respect, so that particular summer crush—which he would eventually admit, in hindsight, was indeed a crush—went undeclared and (presumably) unreciprocated.

The summer after that, Xialian arrived on Fuyutsuki and Kosame became infatuated with her in a heartbeat and a half. It was a debilitatingly powerful and extremely short-lived infatuation, as Xialian was quite perceptive and didn't hesitate to tell Kosame that she wasn't interested in him—or men, for that matter—in that way.

"But I'd like it if we could be friends," she had continued. "It doesn't seem like there are many people around our age on this island, and I heard you do kendo? I think that's pretty cool."

"I would love for us to be friends," Kosame had enthused, earnestly, because that was a major win in his book.

And now, some summers later, there was Sorano Appare. Who Kosame liked quite a lot, apparently, despite his rough-edges personality and the whole ordeal with the potato.

Kosame gave it some thought in the days before his next visit to the house by the sea. Whether or not Appare was actively working to put a man on Mars, he surely had very important things to do with his time. He probably shouldn't have been spending so much of his time rewiring Kosame's house, and he definitely shouldn't have to spend any amount of time responding to the feelings that a country bumpkin kendo instructor had spontaneously developed for him.

So Kosame reached a decision. This time, he would have to nip these feelings in the bud before they could start to run rampant. For Appare's sake, and for his own. Of course, he wasn't so deluded as to think his feelings would simply disappear because he willed them away, so he devised a plan with small, achievable steps.

Step one: deliver a meal to Appare, just one single meal, without letting his feelings grow even more.

Step one: failed. Miserably and instantaneously.

Kosame had thought it would be wise to cook at home and bring the finished dishes to Appare. That meant less time spent in the house, in Appare's company, which seemed like a very good idea for more than one reason. It meant more peace and quiet for Appare, which was conceivably the whole point of his summer retreat from Tokyo. And it meant fewer opportunities for Appare to do something that Kosame found maddeningly cute.

But, as it would turn out, 'fewer' was still not none.

When Kosame arrived with a stack of food containers, each one bearing a sticky note on the lid with brief and clear-cut instructions on whether the contents should be eaten hot or cold, he did what was quickly becoming the usual for his visits to Appare. He knocked, waited, knocked again, waited some more, knocked a third time, waited just a bit more, and then let himself in.

The entryway was devoid of both Appare and the hole that had been in the wall when Kosame last visited. Evidence of the hole still remained; it had been sealed up, but needed a new coat of paint.

Kosame found Appare in the kitchen, and for once Appare looked like he was really working. On sciency, geniusy things. Appare had open notebooks and scattered papers strewn all over the kitchen table. He twirled one pen in his fingers, had another tucked behind his ear, and had several more sticking out from his hair. The deep, rich aroma of coffee filled the air. Kosame tracked the source to the stove, where Appare was… boiling coffee in a stockpot, apparently.

Kosame recognized that pot. His father had lent it to a previous renter some time ago, and had never bothered to bring it back to their main house. It was a great pot. Good for lots of things. Boiling potatoes, for example.

But Kosame wasn't going to get into all that again.

"I brought food," he announced. He picked his way through the kitchen carefully, avoiding all the loose papers that had spilled over onto the floor. "Did you have breakfast? Did you have the soup? In liquid form?"

Appare made some distant, unintelligible noise that acknowledged Kosame's presence, but answered none of Kosame's questions. Kosame pulled open the refrigerator to investigate, and he found that the answer was a resounding no—Appare most definitely had not eaten, unless he'd foraged for little crabs and seaweed on the beach. All the food Kosame had previously prepared was still present and accounted for.

"Would you like to eat something?" Kosame tried instead.

He pried back the lid of one of the containers he'd brought, revealing a trio of plump onigiri, each with a different filling. He offered the box to Appare, scooting it farther and farther into his field of vision while Appare scribbled something in his notebook in a language that seemed absolutely fantastical to Kosame.

Appare did eventually turn his head towards Kosame, as far as he could without looking away from his notes. He didn't stop writing, but he did open his mouth.

"Um," Kosame said.

Appare's mouth stayed open, expectant.

Was he a bird? Was he a little baby bird? Kosame was starting to feel hysterical. Appare was an absurd person, and Kosame was absurd for liking him so much, and since he was being absurd anyway, he figured he may as well commit to it.

Kosame picked up one of the onigiri and held it near Appare's parted lips. Appare ducked his head and took an enormous bite, coming dangerously close to nipping the tips of Kosame's fingers. He chewed for what felt like an entire half of a second before he swallowed and turned his head back to Kosame, his mouth open once more.

All the while, he didn't stop writing. Kosame felt faint.

He fed Appare another two bites like that, until it was just the last bite left in his fingers. Kosame didn't really know what to do at that point, so he panicked when Appare turned to him a fourth time. Ultimately, he wound up just sort of cramming the last bite into Appare's mouth.

Which Appare didn't seem to mind at all. "Thanks," he said, muffled. "I'll have the rest later."

Kosame gave a gurgly laugh and said something like, "Great! Sure! Please do."

Then he packed away the rest of the food and fled.

Kosame was going to need a new plan. Avoiding Appare altogether seemed like a good one, but not terribly feasible. Someone needed to keep Appare fed, after all, because Appare didn't seem totally capable of doing that himself.

"Still no word on when your father will be back?" Xialian asked when they next met up to work on her garage. Kosame had started to feel bad for constantly dithering about Appare, but Xialian insisted she was deeply invested and absolutely needed regular updates, which was very kind of her to say.

Kosame shook his head. "He sent a postcard a few days ago, and he seems to be in Busan? I'm not sure I would trust him to keep Appare well-fed, anyway. He's a fun dad, not a reliable one."

Xialian hummed. "Fumi probably wouldn't mind making some of those deliveries for you."

"But what if she falls in love with Appare too? I couldn't subject her to that."

"She's twelve," Xialian said. "Do twelve-year-old girls already think about boys like that?"

"I can't speak for twelve-year-old girls, but I happen to know twelve-year-old boys have been known to think about other boys like that." Kosame pointed accusingly at himself.

"If it's dire, I can make some of the deliveries for you, but—"

"But you're already working three part-time jobs and you're planning to open your own business in less than two months," Kosame interrupted, shaking his head again. "It's very nice of you to offer, Xialian, but I don't want to add anything to your plate."

"I appreciate that," Xialian said, "but in that case… I think your best move might be to just tell him."

"Tell who?"

"Appare."

"Tell him what?"

"That you like him."

"That I like him?" Kosame shrilled. He was helping Xialian put together a desk for the reception area of her shop, and his hand spasmed with such intense surprise that he bent the nail he was holding. "Why on earth would I do that?"

"I'm sure it would sting if he rejects you," Xialian admitted, "but a rejection might make it easier to start to move on from your feelings."

Kosame nodded thoughtfully. "That's true, it might. Just look at us."

Xialian nodded too. "And who knows? Maybe he'll like you back."

That thought had never occurred to Kosame before, not even for a second, and it seemed so preposterous that he had to laugh for one whole minute. Even when Xialian frowned and insisted it was perfectly possible, he couldn't take the idea of it seriously at all.

But he did take her advice.

Not right away, though. In the end, it took Kosame over a month to actually put Xialian's advice into practice.

His next dozen or so trips to the house were short and to the point. When he arrived with food, Appare was always working—sometimes on the house, sometimes on little gadgets that looked like they could change the world. Appare didn't ask to be fed again, though that may in part have been due to Kosame bringing more soups and curries and salads rather than foods that could be easily picked up and hand-fed to cute boys.

They didn't talk all that much, but Appare usually seemed happy to babble for a while when Kosame asked what he was working on. Kosame could never really make heads or tails of any of it, but Appare lit up with enthusiasm whenever he talked about his work and Kosame found that downright adorable.

So he tried to remember to not ask too often. There was only so much his heart could take.

He also tried to imagine how confessing his feelings to Appare might play out, and in all honesty he couldn't really imagine it going all that poorly. He just couldn't picture Appare caring much or letting it change anything about their dynamic of summer tenant and food deliverer.

Kosame was sure it would be quick and as painless as any rejection could be, so he wasn't exactly scared to bring it up.

There just never seemed to be a good time. Even if it would only take a minute, that was a valuable minute of Appare's time that Kosame didn't want to steal away when Appare was hard at work.

He decided he would come clean the next time he caught Appare looking like he had some free time. Granted, he had never before seen Appare looking like he had any sort of free time, so it was very possible that Kosame's opportunity to confess would never actually arrive, but that was one loophole he was willing to exploit.

Of course, as Kosame's luck would have it, the loophole closed quite quickly.

Kosame had gotten into the habit of making his deliveries in the mornings, once every two days, usually on his way to work. He ran late one day and wound up arriving early in the afternoon instead, because Fumi had found a stray kitten throwing up in their front yard that morning, so of course Kosame had gone with her to take it to the vet on the main island.

A few visits ago, Appare had (somewhat irritably) told Kosame to quit it with the incessant knocking and just let himself into the house when he arrived, as he obviously had a key.

But, this time, that wasn't necessary. And knocking wasn't, either. Because when Kosame wandered up to the house, he found Appare lying on the porch, directly in front of the door, in a glowing patch of sunlight. He was snoring softly. His fingers were stained with ink or oil smudges and his shirt, Kosame realized, was Kosame's old shirt—the one Fumi had lent him when he first arrived on the island.

Kosame stopped in front of him. His breath caught in his throat, his heart beat faster, and he clutched the tower of food containers to his chest like a lifeline.

"Appare," he whispered. "I think I'm in love with you."

Kosame wasn't sure exactly why he chose that moment to blurt it out.

Maybe because he was a man of honor who did his very best to keep his word when he made a promise. And he had promised himself that he would declare his feelings and accept Appare's rejection as soon as Appare looked like he had a moment to spare.

Maybe because seeing Appare dozing in the sun, in Kosame's old shirt, was just too much to handle. Kosame might not have been able to hold in those words even if he'd tried.

Or maybe because Appare seemed to be sound asleep and Kosame thought this would be a nice time for a trial run, to just see how those words felt on his tongue.

The actual reason was probably a mix of all the above, though there was a problem with the last one, in that 'seemed' was the operative word there.

As soon as the words left Kosame's mouth, Appare sat up abruptly, blinked and yawned, and said, "Ah, I see."

It had been a while since Kosame last shrieked in Appare's presence, so he felt well within his rights to let out a surprised shout at that. "You—! Appare! You were pretending to be asleep?"

"No. I fell asleep waiting for you, and I just woke up." Appare yawned again as though to prove his point, then got to his feet. On the porch, he was just a little taller than Kosame. "You're in love with me?"

"Maybe?" Kosame squeaked. He briefly considered taking it all back and denying it, but he wasn't in the habit of lying to other people. "Well. Yes. I think—I mean, I'm pretty sure I am."

"Okay," Appare said.

Kosame blinked. "Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. Let's date."

Kosame opened and closed his mouth a few times. No sound came out, and he couldn't stop staring at Appare. At his wonderful face which wore an expression that didn't hold any traces of malice or ridicule.

Appare was serious.

"Why on earth would we date?" Kosame blurted out, finally.

Appare tilted his head to the side. "You don't want to?"

"I absolutely do want to," Kosame said in a rush, nodding vigorously. "But why would you want to date me?"

"I'm not sociable," Appare said. "I'm a workaholic, so I won't have time to actually go on a lot of dates. I don't know how to cook, I don't like to clean, and most people think my personality is garbage. You know all that about me, don't you?"

Kosame would never have been so blunt about any of those things, but he found himself nodding. And staring. He was definitely staring, because that was perhaps the most Appare had ever said to him in one breath, not including the times he rambled about his work.

"So why would you want to date me?" Appare asked.

"Because you're awesome," Kosame said. Wasn't that obvious?

Appare shrugged and turned away, hiding his face for some reason. "Then we're dating. Let's eat."

And so, they started to date. Except, ten days later, Kosame wasn't so sure they had actually started to do much of anything at all. But Kosame found he didn't mind.

Things between them did change, after all, even if only in small ways that weren't especially romantic or even perceptible.

"Like what?" Xialian asked. They were celebrating over drinks at her house because, barring any natural disasters, her garage was finally fully renovated and ready for its grand opening.

Kosame gave it some thought. "He has more opinions about food now. He used to tell me when there was something he liked, but now he'll tell me when there's something he doesn't like. Soup, for example. He's not a fan of soup."

Xialian looked mortified. "He doesn't like soup? Who doesn't like soup?"

"He says it's obnoxiously difficult to eat," Kosame explained, with a happy, fond sigh. "He thinks food should either commit to being a liquid or a solid, and he thinks it doesn't make sense that he should have to use a spoon to drink something."

"But soup is—soup is widely acknowledged to be one of the easiest foods to eat," Xialian argued. She was impassioned in a way she got only when she was a little tipsy or talking about cars. "Plus, soup is delicious!"

"I can see you feel very strongly about this," Kosame said, "and I agree with you wholeheartedly."

Xialian finished her beer in two big gulps and opened another can, apparently feeling too sober to cope with Appare's opinions on soup. "Is that all you've learned about him in more than a week of dating?"

"That's what I learned about him in less than an hour of dating," Kosame said. "It seemed very important to Appare that I stop bringing him so much soup, so he told me right away. Oh, sometimes I cook there now! We've even eaten together a few times, sort of."

"Sort of?"

"It's more like we start eating together. Then he finishes in twenty seconds and goes back to work, while I actually chew my food and watch him work."

"I hope that won't also be his approach to sex."

"Xialian!" Kosame gasped, scandalized.

"What? You haven't thought about it?"

"I haven't!" Kosame claimed. He blushed when Xialian gave him a skeptical look. "I haven't thought about it excessively. I mean, we haven't even gone out on one date yet."

"Then… I'm sorry to be the one to bring this up, Kosame, but in what way are you dating?"

"You know," Kosame said, "that's a very good question."

In what way were they dating? Kosame didn't have a very good answer.

They didn't go on dates, and Appare had in fact explicitly said he wouldn't have time to go on a lot of dates. They didn't touch any more than they used to, which was to say they didn't touch at all. And when they talked, it was still mostly just about Appare's work.

But, somehow, Kosame did feel as though his feelings had genuinely been acknowledged and even accepted to some degree.

"It just feels like we're dating," Kosame said.

Xialian frowned. "Because Appare said so?"

"Because Appare said so," Kosame agreed, nodding, "and because I believe him."

Xialian propped up her cheek on one hand and studied him for a moment before she let out a long sigh. "I just hope he isn't taking advantage of your feelings, Kosame."

"Taking—" Kosame had to laugh. "I don't think there's any advantage to be gained from encouraging my feelings, Xialian."

"Could be a ploy to make you cook for him."

"I was already cooking for him," Kosame pointed out. "I think this might just be what dating Sorano Appare is like, and I'm okay with that. I want to try to enjoy it, for the next thirty-nine days."

They hadn't talked about that. About the end of summer, about Appare's inevitable return to Tokyo and his life as a very important person. Kosame figured there was nothing to talk about. He wasn't going to leave Fuyutsuki, and Appare wasn't going to stay. These things didn't need to be said.

"Bring him to my grand opening," Xialian said, later that night, when they were both pleasantly buzzed and ready to fall asleep on the floor of her living room. "Everyone in town is curious about him, but most of them are too scared or too polite to go to the house. And I want to talk to him. I want to make sure he's good enough for you. I have best friend rights."

"He's much too good for me," Kosame insisted, "but you do have best friend rights. I'll ask if he has time."

"I don't have time," Appare said, when Kosame brought up the grand opening at their next twenty-second lunch date.

Kosame was far from surprised. "No problem," he said, quickly and cheerfully. "Let's eat."

"What kind of party is it?" Appare asked. For once, when Kosame set a plate down in front of him, he didn't pick it up and start shoveling food into his mouth right away.

"My friend is celebrating the opening of her auto repair shop," Kosame said, even though he wasn't quite sure why the specifics mattered. It was nice to hear Appare care, or at least pretend to care. Nice and a little strange, because Appare had never been the type to pretend to care about anything before.

"Okay," Appare said. "I'll go."

Kosame blinked as Appare began to eat. By the time he processed the words, Appare had finished eating. "But," Kosame said, "you just said no."

"You asked if I had time to go to a party with you." Appare got up from his stool and put his plate in the sink before returning to the kitchen table and plucking a pen out of his hair. "And I answered that I don't have time, which is true, but that doesn't mean I won't go."

"I'm confused," Kosame admitted.

Appare sighed through his nose. "I'm never going to just have time to go to a party with you, Kosame. But I can make time."

"For me?"

Appare made a vague sound of affirmation.

"Why would you do that?" Kosame couldn't help but ask.

Appare actually glanced at him, though only for a split second, and only out of the corner of his eye. "Aren't we dating?"

"We're dating," Kosame whispered, as though realizing it for the very first time.

They were dating. Not only that, they were going to go on a date. If Kosame had thought he was happy with the mere concept of dating Appare, having an actual date planned sent his mood soaring to brand new heights.

Xialian's garage wasn't terribly far from the house Appare was renting. It sat on the shoreline, a stone's throw away from the beach and a ten-or-so minute walk from Appare's place. The night before the party, Kosame dreamt of walking Appare home and, outrageously enough, even holding his hand.

He briefly, and perhaps deliriously, considered borrowing his dad's old suit for the occasion. But the only people at the party would be Xialian and the townsfolk who'd known Kosame since he was in diapers. Plus, he'd wound up growing a good head and a half taller than his father, so there was a really good chance the suit wouldn't fit.

In the end, he dressed in jeans and his nicest button-up shirt and figured that would do just fine. He didn't want to be overdressed, after all, and in all the time since they'd met, Kosame had pretty much only ever seen Appare wear the same three t-shirts.

Fumi had gone on ahead to the garage earlier in the afternoon to help Xialian prepare for the party, so it was just Kosame who arrived at Appare's door at a quarter to five. He let himself in, as he'd grown accustomed to doing, but rapped his knuckles against the doorframe on an afterthought. It seemed appropriate, given the context of his visit.

"Can we be back in two hours?" Appare asked when he emerged from the bathroom.

Kosame was relieved to see that Appare was dressed as plainly as usual. That alleviated some of the first-date jitters Kosame felt rattling around in his ribcage. But Kosame was of the opinion that Appare's 'usual' could best be described as breathtakingly beautiful, so a good portion of those jitters remained.

"Two hours," he promised with a vigorous nod. "We don't even have to stay that long. Xialian's seen a lot of me lately since I've been helping with the garage. I'm sure she's completely sick of my face by now."

Appare hummed, in what Kosame could only assume was agreement.

When they arrived at the garage, they ran into Fumi first. Then the old couple who operated the bathhouse in the village. Then the even older couple who owned the liquor store. It went on and on, because Xialian had been right—everyone was curious about Appare.

Appare didn't seem to mind that half the village wanted to ask him the same three questions. What was he working on, did he like Fuyutsuki, and was he eating enough? His answers were curt and unemotional, but not discourteous.

"I think you're much more sociable than you give yourself credit for, Appare," Kosame said with a proud smile.

"I've had a lot of media training," Appare explained. "It was mandatory."

It wound up taking them nearly twenty minutes to make it to Xialian, who was already making good use of the appointment book Kosame had gotten her as a 'Congratulations on Achieving Your Lifelong Dream' present. Just about every truck- and moped-owner on the island wanted to schedule a check-up with her.

"Kosame," she greeted warmly before setting her gaze on Appare. "And Sorano-san. I've been hearing a lot about you."

"All good things," Kosame reassured, before wincing as he remembered that was a bit of a lie. He did tell her about the potato, after all.

But Appare didn't seem to be paying attention to him, anyway. He was looking at Xialian, studying her with his head cocked to the side. Xialian was staring back, eyes slightly narrowed like she wasn't yet sure if she approved of his whole way of being.

It was awkward.

Then Appare asked, "Are you sick of Kosame's face?"

Xialian blinked. Several times. "What?"

"What?" Kosame echoed.

"Kosame called you his friend," Appare said, "but he also said he's sure you're sick of his face. I don't think that's how a friend should feel about a friend's face."

Xialian was starting to look alarmed. Her gaze whipped up to Kosame's face. "Kosame, if I've done anything to make you think—"

"You didn't!" Kosame interrupted, waving his hands frantically and tittering a nervous laugh. "Um, Appare, when I said that, I was just making a joke."

"Oh," Appare said, also looking up at Kosame. "Explain it to me."

Kosame froze. "What?"

"I don't get the joke. Explain it to me."

"Well, that's—it's, um—" Kosame looked to Xialian, eyes wide with a plea for help.

"Explain it to me as well," Xialian said, unhelpfully.

Kosame laughed again, a faint and nervous laugh. "I… I guess it wasn't very funny?"

Xialian continued to look at him with concern, but she could obviously sense his distress and didn't press him for a clearer answer.

Appare also let it go. Maybe he, too, could tell that Kosame badly, desperately wished to change the subject. Or maybe he simply didn't care enough to pursue it. He asked Xialian if he could look at her cars, instead, and Xialian could never turn down a chance to show off her cars.

They returned to the house just an hour and a half after they left. On their way back, Appare pointed out and named the brighter stars in the sky for Kosame, which was just as effective at making Kosame's heart race as if they'd held hands.

When they stopped in front of the house, Appare stepped onto the porch and turned to Kosame. There was a moment when Kosame dared to hope for a goodnight kiss. A peck on the cheek, maybe. Then Appare planted his hands on his hips and frowned.

"You don't think much of yourself, do you?" Appare asked.

Kosame blinked and took a half-step back, startled by the uncharacteristic fierceness of Appare's accusation. "I don't?"

"Xialian says you make that kind of joke a lot. The self-deprecating sort, like how I'm too good for you. She says you joke about that all the time."

"Oh, that isn't a joke," Kosame blurted out. "That's just true, isn't it?"

It seemed so obvious to him that he couldn't tell why it made Appare's frown deepen.

"I'm worried," Appare said. He kicked off his geta and stood barefoot on the porch, which brought him eye-to-eye with Kosame. "I'm worried you'll continue to feel this way, start to resent me, and ultimately break up with me."

Kosame laughed. Appare didn't.

"You're serious," Kosame realized, stunned. "Appare, you are so far out of my league. I still don't really know what you're doing with me. There's a zero percent chance I would ever break up with you."

That, however, didn't seem to be what Appare wanted to hear at all. He turned on his heel and marched into the house, leaving the door open and reappearing after a moment with a cell phone in his hand.

"Give me your phone number," he said.

Despite his confusion over the sudden demand, as well as the whole conversation they were having, Kosame recited it right away.

"Don't pick up when I call," Appare said as he dialed the number. "I'm going to say this in a voicemail so you can listen to it again if it doesn't sink in the first time. Kosame—" He paused with the phone pressed to his ear, waiting for the beep. "—this is Sorano Appare. Your boyfriend."

Kosame blushed from his ears to his throat.

"You asked me before why I would want to date you, and I must have done a poor job of explaining myself because you still seem confused. So, let me try again."

"You really don't have to do this," Kosame protested weakly.

"You're considerate," Appare continued. "Too considerate, in fact. You don't make any demands of my time, which is good because I don't have much time to spare, but you should still make some demands. Because we're dating. Let's talk more about that later."

Kosame was starting to feel dizzy.

"You're pretty funny when you're not making jokes at your own expense. You're a good listener. You don't tune me out when I talk even if it's about something you don't understand, and you ask questions instead of pretending you get something when you don't."

"I know what an ion is now," Kosame breathed.

"Plus, you're a good cook and you have a nice body." Appare paused and looked skywards, as though mentally ticking items off a checklist. "And you believe in me. Most people tell me that I'm too young and too ambitious, and that I'll never achieve anything if I don't get better at working with others. But you told me I could put a man on Mars.

"So believe in yourself, too. At least half as much as you believe in me."

With that, Appare hung up and tossed his phone back into the house. Then he put his shoes back on and stepped off the porch.

"There's still twenty minutes," he said.

Kosame, still reeling and speechless, could only make a faintly inquisitive noise.

"There's still twenty minutes," Appare repeated, "left in the two hours I allocated for our date. So let's walk down to the beach and make out a bit."

"Oh my god," Kosame breathed. "Okay. Yes, please."

Kosame played the voicemail for Xialian after asking Appare if he could. (Appare, unsurprisingly, didn't mind. He'd only shrugged and asked Kosame to also ask Xialian if he could come look at her cars again sometime.)

"This is cute," Xialian said, after listening to it two times. Her cheeks were rosy with joy. "This is super cute, Kosame. His stance on soup is still utterly unacceptable to me, but I approve. You have my best friend blessing."

Kosame grinned. He had been doing a lot of that all day, ever since parting ways from Appare the previous night, with numb lips and a soaring heart. "That means a lot to me, Xialian. I'll work on showing him the merits of soup."

Xialian nodded approvingly. "And are you going to take his advice?"

Kosame looked at her, then back at his phone, as though contemplating playing the message yet again. As if he hadn't already memorized it by heart. "He gave me advice?"

"About believing in yourself, Kosame." Xialian sighed and rolled back under the truck she was working on. "I was never sure if it was my place to say anything, but the way you look down on yourself has always concerned me. I know that girl from Nara did a number on your confidence, but you're much cooler than you think you are."

"She was from Kyoto," Kosame corrected before realizing that definitely wasn't the important part. "You think I'm cool?"

Xialian rolled herself back out from under the truck just to give him a pointed look, and Kosame had to admit the answer was pretty obvious.

"I'll try," he promised. "I'm pretty sure I believe in aliens. How hard could it be to believe in myself?"

It was pretty hard.

Now that Appare had called attention to it, Kosame did start to notice when he found himself beset by urges to put himself down. He couldn't suppress those urges each and every time they arose, but he could start to think about why they came to him in the first place.

And he realized they weren't terribly rational urges.

He was only twenty-three, and he already had his dream job. He could cook and clean and keep himself and Fumi in good health even when their father took off for weeks or months at a time without notice. He was pretty handy, too. Maybe he couldn't rewire a whole house, but he could fix up a loose cabinet door in the blink of an eye.

He was a pretty cool and capable guy, if he did say so himself.

The hard part was remembering that and really, really believing it.

Appare helped, whether he knew he was doing it or not. He would look up from his work and frown when Kosame made an overly self-effacing remark. He would stop what he was doing and ask Kosame to explain his offhand jokes that disparaged his own existence.

Sometimes, after listening to Appare ramble about what he was working on, Kosame would mention something amusing about this or that student at the dojo before cutting himself off.

"This is terribly boring, isn't it?" he would ask, with an apologetic laugh. "I'll get out of your hair now, Appare. Don't forget to eat the—"

And Appare would interrupt, "No, keep talking. I like the sound of your voice."

He said such bold things so shamelessly and matter-of-factly that Kosame had no choice but to blush and believe him. While it was a struggle to trust his own evaluation of his worth, it was far easier to trust Appare's.

"You look sort of different these days," Fumi remarked over breakfast one morning. "Did you get a haircut?"

"I think I'm learning to like myself," Kosame announced.

"Oh," Fumi said. "Well, good. You're a pretty okay big brother, and I think everyone should like you."

Kosame waltzed through the rest of the day, practically glowing. He sailed through the next day too, and the next, and the next. With Appare going out of his way to make it clear that Kosame wasn't an imposition, Kosame started cooking at the old house more often. Fumi's birthday was coming up, anyway, and he wanted to try some new secret recipes to surprise her with on her big day.

All things considered, Kosame would have been hard-pressed to name two ways in which his summer could have been improved.

But he could, pretty easily, name one.

"You still haven't talked about it?" Xialian asked. It was the first time they were having dinner together in over a week, with how busy Xialian had been with her garage. They'd picked a ramen place on the main island, and Appare had turned down Kosame's invitation to join them because his opinions on soup-based foods had yet to change.

Kosame shook his head and prodded his soft-boiled egg. "There hasn't been a very good time to bring it up, I think," he said. "And I'm not sure there's much of a point to talking about it anyway."

"Do you still not believe he likes you? Do you need to listen to the voicemail again?"

"I absolutely believe he likes me," Kosame insisted, because he did. Appare was very convincing. Verbally and, well, physically. "Liking someone isn't the same thing as moving to a little fishing island for someone, though."

"That would be a big step, I agree. But you don't think he'd be willing to try long-distance?"

"He might." Kosame spooned some more chili flakes into his bowl before he remembered he didn't actually like super spicy food. "You're right. It's worth talking about."

"So you'll ask?"

"I'll ask."

"You'll ask before he leaves?"

"I'll ask before he leaves."

"Because he's leaving in thirteen days, Kosame."

Kosame squirmed at the reminder, but eventually steeled his resolve and nodded. "I'll ask before he leaves."

Ten days passed in absolute bliss. Kosame had breakfast and dinner with Appare almost every day. Appare still ate astonishingly quickly, but he always stayed in the same room until Kosame finished eating too. Whenever he had a day off from the dojo, Kosame stayed for hours. He painted the rooms Appare wasn't using. He cleaned and did some laundry, which led to the discovery that Appare did in fact have more than three shirts. It was just that his many shirts all came in the same three designs.

Kosame even managed to bring himself to ask what Appare planned to do first when he returned to Tokyo.

"I'll present my research to secure more funding," Appare answered.

That was as close as they came to discussing their imminent separation, until there were only three days and two nights left before Appare's departure.

Kosame was going to ask. He was going to ask that night. He was going to bring all the foods that he'd discovered were Appare's favorites—onigiri and tempura and croquettes, basically anything reasonably easy to eat—and he was going to ask.

Can we talk about us?

Simple. Easy. If he could blurt out that he thought he was in love with Appare, he was just as capable of blurting this out. Maybe he could even ask Appare to pretend to be asleep.

"Can we talk about us?" he whispered as he neared the house, carrying a veritable banquet of comfort foods packed away in a tote bag from the general store.

The house was in view now. The door was closed, locked. Kosame put his key in the lock and held it there for a beat.

"Can we talk about us?" he repeated, just to practice one more time.

When he felt ready, or as ready as he would ever feel, he pushed open the door and stepped inside.

"He's gone?" Xialian demanded. "What do you mean he's gone?"

Kosame was still at the house. He stood in the kitchen with his phone pressed to his ear, staring at the surface of the kitchen table. It was a surface he hadn't seen in months. Ever since Appare arrived on the island and started to work in earnest, it had been blanketed by his notes and tools.

Those were gone now.

"I think he left," Kosame said, weakly.

"The house?"

"The island." Kosame had searched all through the house for Appare when he'd arrived and received no answer. The lack of an answer alone had already been somewhat alarming because, lately, Appare had gotten into the habit of actually responding when Kosame called out. "Some of his things are still here, like his clothes? But his notes, his important things—they're gone."

"Have you tried calling him? Maybe he…" Xialian trailed off. She didn't seem to have a feasible explanation for why Appare and Appare's more important things would be gone from the house so suddenly. In the end, she continued, "I'm sure he'll be back, Kosame. He wouldn't leave all his things there."

"Wouldn't he?" Kosame could only laugh. Would Appare care that he'd left behind twelve t-shirts and some pliers? He'd left behind more things, but it was all stuff that Appare could easily hire a moving company to pack up and ship back to Tokyo for him. "He didn't leave behind anything that mattered."

"You matter to him, Isshiki Kosame, and don't think for a second that you don't. Have you tried calling him or not?"

"I couldn't reach him on his phone," Kosame admitted. "He doesn't usually keep it charged. He can never remember to, and he says only annoying people ever call or text him anyway."

Xialian was quiet for a moment. Kosame could almost imagine her frowning or furrowing her brow. "I'll ask around on the main island to see if anyone's seen him. He wouldn't leave without a word if he wasn't planning to come back."

She came to meet Kosame later that night, after closing up shop. Kosame hadn't left the house. He had spent most of the afternoon cleaning the kitchen and packing Appare's things back into boxes.

"What are you doing?" Xialian asked when she found him sealing up one of the boxes. There was a touch of horror to her tone. "Stop that, Kosame. He's coming back."

She did admit, with some reluctance, that she had heard from a bus driver about a young man with wild, crazy hair catching a ride to the airport. Kosame didn't find the news particularly devastating, because he didn't find it particularly surprising.

"He'll come back," Xialian continued to insist. "But it was shitty of him to leave without saying anything, so I think you should go give him a piece of your mind."

"I just don't think it occurred to him," Kosame said. "If I see him again, I'll tell him… I'll tell him I would have prefered a heads up."

"What? No." Xialian stooped down in front of Kosame, slapped her hands on his shoulders, and looked him dead in the eye. "Not if, not preferred. Go to Tokyo and tell him this was wrong."

Kosame blinked. Then laughed. Then blinked again, because Xialian wasn't laughing with him. "I can't just go to Tokyo, Xialian," he said. "Fumi's birthday is in three days, I don't know where Appare lives, and—"

"I have the address," she interrupted. "I ran into your dad on the main island. He just got back, and he gave it to me. It was on Appare's lease. You can go on tomorrow's flight and come back the day after, in time for Fumi's birthday. She would want this for you, too."

"That's… that was very considerate of you to say, Xialian, but I can't just show up at Appare's door in Tokyo," Kosame argued. "That would make me some kind of stalker."

"No, it makes you his boyfriend who deserves better."

Kosame's first instinct was to argue some more. Appare must have had his reasons for leaving without a word. Maybe there had been an emergency. It probably had something to do with his work, and his work was more important than anything. Even if he'd simply decided to go home because he felt like it, he was well within his rights. His life was in Tokyo, and Kosame had never planned to ask him to leave it behind. Especially not for some insignificant summer fling, with an insignificant—

But they had talked about that. They might not have talked about all the other important things, but they had talked about that: the way Kosame thought of himself, and specifically the way he didn't think much of himself.

"I am his boyfriend," Kosame said.

"That's right," Xialian agreed.

"And I do deserve better."

Xialian beamed and patted him on the shoulders twice. "You do, Kosame, and I'm thrilled to hear you say it. Now, get up. Stop packing. Let's go see if Fumi will make you a bento for the flight."

Less than twenty-four hours later, Kosame found himself standing in front of a glossy door on the eighteenth floor of a glossy apartment building. He was starting to have second thoughts. Actually, he'd started to have second thoughts on his way to the airport, so it may have been more accurate to call these his hundredth-or-so thoughts.

Regrets, basically. He was having regrets.

Appare should have told him before leaving the island. Kosame hadn't changed his mind about that. They had been dating. Maybe they were still dating? And that meant Kosame deserved to be told about something like this.

But Xialian had been right, probably. Appare, probably, would have returned to the island on his own. Wasn't Kosame being awfully dramatic, flying all the way out to Tokyo just to…

He wasn't totally sure, still, what he had come to Tokyo to do or say. Now that he was there, standing in front of Appare's door, he realized he was woefully unprepared to actually see Appare.

So when the door swung open before he even knocked, revealing a handsome blond man who most certainly was not Appare, Kosame almost breathed a sigh of relief. Before realizing that this was definitely no cause for relief.

"I'm so sorry," Kosame said hastily. "I think I have the wrong address?"

"You must be Appare's boyfriend!" exclaimed the blond, with a wide, amiable smile. "Come in, please. The front desk called to say you were on your way up. It's Kosame, isn't it? I'm Al Lyon, and it's such a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

The self-proclaimed Al Lyon turned and swanned back into the apartment, waving for Kosame to follow him. Kosame did step through the threshold, if only because it felt rude to loiter in the hall, but he stopped in the entryway.

"Appare mentioned me?" he asked, unable to keep a look of shock off his face.

"But of course. Appare's updates are rather curt and infrequent, I'm sure you know how he is, but he's been telling us all summer about the cute boy who's been taking good care of him."

"All summer?" Kosame squeaked. "We haven't been dating that long."

"Oh, I'm aware," Al said, with a wink. "Appare was quite excited when you started to date. Of course, his text only said, 'Boyfriend get.' But with Appare, you learn to read into these things. May I offer you a cup of tea, Kosame?"

"No, please, don't let me put you to any trouble." Kosame bowed his head politely before looking around the apartment. It was very modern, and not at all the sort of place he had imagined Appare would live. "You're… Appare's roommate?"

"He's staying here tonight," Al said, nodding before he gave a thoughtful hum. He was putting on the kettle regardless, and sifting through a fancy box of fancy teas. "I would say I'm more like his… Sofia, what's the word I'm thinking of? It's like a platonic sugar daddy?"

"Benefactor, Al."

Kosame jumped. The pleasant voice came from somewhere in the living room, but there was no one there. "Is that—" He turned back to Al, so fascinated that he forgot to be anxious for a moment. "Is that one of those smart assistants I've read about online?"

Al laughed and shook his head. "No, that's my wife."

He moved to the living room and spun the laptop on the coffee table to face Kosame. The young woman on the screen—who, preposterously enough, was even prettier than her husband—smiled and waved.

"It's nice to meet you, Kosame," she said. "Did you come visit because you couldn't wait two days to see Appare again? I think that's super sweet."

"Two days?" Kosame echoed. His confusion must have been palpable, because both Sofia and Al looked concerned.

"Did Appare not tell you when he would be returning?" Al asked.

"Um. Well, that's… no. I suppose I would have to say he didn't."

Sofia covered a soft gasp with one hand. "Kosame, did Appare not tell you he was leaving?"

It was at that moment that the front door opened. Three sets of eyes turned on Appare when he stepped inside, tugging off his tie and kicking away a pair of nice shoes like he couldn't get out of them fast enough. He was dressed in a suit, which fit nicely, but looked utterly preposterous on him.

He blinked when he saw the scandalized looks Al and Sofia wore, then blinked again when he saw Kosame.

Then he smiled, looking for all the world like the sun appearing from a den of storm clouds. "Kosame," he said. "I didn't think you would have time to come with me."

"You—" Kosame blanched. "You wanted me to come with you?"

Appare tilted his head. "Has there been a misunderstanding?"

There had been a misunderstanding.

Al took his laptop into his room so he and Sofia could give them some privacy. Appare led Kosame to sit on the couch, after making them each a cup of tea with the water Al had boiled.

Then, he explained.

He had been scheduled to present his recent research the day after his three-ish months in Fuyutsuki came to a close. It was a presentation he couldn't miss, because it would decide how much funding he would receive for his next projects. But it was scheduled for the day of Fumi's birthday party, which Appare obviously planned to attend.

"So I asked to have my presentation moved up," Appare finished. "They gave me this time slot pretty suddenly. I was going to find a payphone to call and tell you at the airport, but I saw your dad on the main island and told him to tell you. Did he not?"

Kosame reached for a couch cushion and hid his face in it, smothering a groan. "He did not."

"Huh," Appare said. "You also didn't know who I was, when you first saw me at your house."

"Yes, that's our grim family secret," Kosame mourned. "Our father is… the worst communicator."

"Maybe talk to him about that," Appare suggested.

"I should." Kosame sighed into the cushion before letting it drop. "I will."

"What did you think had happened, then? If you didn't know I was going to come back in two days, did you come to bring me home? Or did you come to yell at me?"

Kosame's ears started to burn. "I… came for an explanation, I think. Because I thought you'd left without saying anything, and—and I'm your boyfriend, so I deserve better than that."

For a moment, Appare just looked at him. Then, another of his unabashed smiles broke out, one of the ones usually reserved for the subjects of science he was most passionate about.

"That's pretty hot," he said. "And I'm sorry. I should have made sure the message got to you. Do you still want to yell at me a bit?"

"Absolutely not." Kosame shook his head fervently. "I am more than satisfied with your explanation, Fumi is going to be thrilled to see you at her party, and I will reserve all the yelling for my father."

"Cool," Appare said. "Then, since you're already here and I don't have anything planned until my flight back tomorrow… wanna get me out of this awful suit?"

"Absolutely yes."

"What happens after Fumi's birthday?" Kosame asked later that night, as they walked back to the apartment after dinner. Al had insisted that Appare take Kosame somewhere nice, if they were only going to be together in the city for one night.

Appare looked up at him and made one of his inquisitive noises.

"How long do you plan to stay?" Kosame clarified. "I want to see you as often as I can, but I know you have a life here. We can visit each other, and I think long-distance would be doable if—"

"Kosame," Appare interrupted. "You really need to have a talk with your dad."

"I do," Kosame agreed. "Is this a different talk from the one I'm already needing to have with him?"

"It's pretty much the same talk," Appare said. "He seems to have neglected to tell you I live on Fuyutsuki now."

"For… a few more days?"

"No, Kosame. Indefinitely."

Kosame came to a stop in the middle of the busy street. Appare turned to him from a few steps ahead and backtracked to stand before him.

"Your dad offered to sell me the house," he said. "And I like you a lot. So I bought it."

Kosame couldn't help it then. He reached up and cupped Appare's cheeks and kissed him on the mouth. Appare stretched up and kissed back, his lips curving to form a smile.

It tasted like a farewell kiss—a farewell to this city, and to the fears and doubts Kosame would bleed out and leave on the pavement.

And it was a greeting, too. To Appare of Fuyutsuki, and the man who loved him.