Chapter Text
This was the dumbest thing.
This was the dumbest thing.
Oh my god.
This was the dumbest thing.
Jade panicked as Robbie, dressed in a wholly hideous and fuzzy red sweater grinned ear to ear and unraveled the ribbons of the present she gave him in a manner that was half meticulous and half four-year old who had too many Santa chocolates.
And he did have too many chocolates mind you. It was probably a good thing, it prevented Cat from going on overdrive into an awful sugar high after all.
Jade made all their friends leave (otherwise known as she kicked them out of Robbie's house) before she let him open her gift which made Vega make a stupid joke about it being a 'sexytime' present.
As if that would have stopped Jade from revealing it. In fact she would have taken pleasure in the looks on their faces if it had been sexy.
This was the opposite of sexy.
It was dumb.
And so stupid!
"I just thought." She began to explain before he could fully react. "Since you don't usually use your puppe...Rex, as anything but a shelf decoration these days and even when you have him he's way less obnoxious thank therapy for that, he could um... use a friend or something. The lady doctor said you used him as an aspect of yourself and we are dating now so..." Jade huffs. "I know it's dumb."
Robbie, who'd only stood there with his face stalled in complete shock bypasses her gift to squeeze her yelling "Oh my goodness!!" as he offered her no escape from his frantic grasp.
"Robbie!" She complained but relaxed into him immediately. "What the hell."
"Thank you! Oh thank you thank you thank you! This is the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten... you know my uncle got me socks for the fifth year in a row! I can't believe you'd do something like this!"
Honestly, neither could Jade. She never really made an effort like this for anyone she dated unless she felt forced to because well... it was vulnerable and embarassing. She couldn't even explain how ridiculous it felt to feel that way about getting her boyfriend a present on Christmas day yet, she did. She felt it deep in her bones.
"It's no big deal... " Jade brushed it off, uneasy about the gratitude she opts to look at the Gothic Style Victorian puppet she'd bought him instead.
Her idea really had been for it to keep Rex company and that was a startling thought. Since Rex stopped looking for.... troublesome company from less than intelligent ladies Robbie had claimed Rex was probably lonely. In his words Rex was like a 'wandering elf on a shelf' those days, a depressing end to a full if not fulfilling 'life.'
Once the idea came to Jade it wouldn't leave her alone until she brought it to fruition.
"You know!" Robbie began picking up the puppet. "It kind of looks like you! She's hot!"
"It's Christmas so I'm going to be noble here and pretend I didn't hear you call a puppet hot and just take the compliment." Jade teased. "Now what are you waiting for! Go Introduce them!"
Robbie's eye widen and he hops up the stairs Jade following him leisurely.
He rambled off with both Rex and the new arrival settling her gifted puppet next to Rex and doing both voices as she waited by the doorway. For once, Rex flirted genuinely and the 'girl' seemed actually right for him. She flirted back and yeah, the dialogue was cringe-y and awful but it made Jade smile.
Once he finishes with the introductions Robbie turns and says "Oh wait! You haven't opened your gift yet!"
"What?" Jade asked confused. He'd already gotten her an expensive gift card to her favorite clothing place because he knew she preferred gifts like that with what being so picky.
"Well you know how I had to go TO the store in the mall to get that gift card? I may have somehow found myself in a particular department where they sold certain things and that place may have had clothes that... show certain amounts of skin."
"Robbie!" Jade exclaims, pretending to be scandalized. "And Vega thought I was the dirty one!"
"But you know better!" Robbie replies. "Honestly she probably should too since Cat told her about that time with the pi-"
"Robbie! Shh! Less talking more giving me my presents okay?" Jade interrupted.
Cat told her about the pirates too unfortunately. Eugh.
Robbie nodded and got a bag from under his bed.
"Let me guess... sexy Ms.Santa Clause?" Jade took a swing.
"Well yeah! But it's underwear! And black since you know - that store! And my 'rents won't be home since they're on the cruise so you know I was just thinking..."
"Just turn Rex the other way." Jade joked pointing playfully at the potential peeker. "He may have a girl now but I still don't trust him not to peep at us!"
"You got it!" Robbie affirmed and she chuckles looking into the bag to find lots of lace, black, fur and.... was that a large candy cane to match the aesthetic?
Oh boy. This was going to be an interesting night! Robbie wasn't the only pervert though and Jade would definately have her fun. She'd make sure of that.
How sturdy could a candy cane that size be she wondered....
End