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Chapter Text

Rey heard the key turning her door handle of the front door to her studio apartment. She heard the floorboards creaking and a clacking noise as someone wearing high heels approached noisily by her bedside.

She couldn’t see who it was because she had multiple layers of fabric covering her head and body. She knew though, she knew it was Rose Tico.

Who else but her best friend would barge into her apartment early in the morning and prance on over to her bed when she had made it clear to everyone in her life that she just wanted to be left alone.

The apartment was still enveloped in darkness. Rey liked to keep the lights off, with the only light being that from a window with sheer fabric blinds.

In an instant Rey was blinded by the light streaming through the blinds and seeing Rose crouched down beside her twin bed, her face mere inches from Rey’s with her comforter held tightly in her fingers after she had yanked the covers off of Rey.

Rey shielded her eyes from the light.

“What the hell, Rose? What are you doing here? I don’t have to be at work until 9 this morning. Just leave me alone.”, Rey shouted at her, pulling back away from Rose’s face, and shaking her head in disbelief that Rose had just let herself into her apartment.

Rose bit her lip and shook her head at Rey. “Rey its 9:30 already. Finn was concerned when you didn’t show up at the café and sent me to check up on you”, Rose exclaimed.

After she had lost her job three months prior at the law firm where she had worked for the past 6 years as a paralegal for being constantly late for two months straight, Rose’s husband Finn, had offered her a job at their café that they had recently open.

Walking two blocks to the café and starting work at 9 am had seemed like a good situation for Rey. She was struggling to get by since she lost her fiancée, Armitage Hux or Armie as she affectionately had called him, in a car accident five months ago.

She took up several writing gigs, which she mostly completed at night after she got off her shift at the café.

Even working 12 hours a day couldn’t make up for the loss of income and Rey felt like she was drowning financially as well as personally.

Rey shot up from the be bed, nearly knocking Rose down.

“Shit, shit, shit”, she kept repeating as she ran to her closet to grab clothes to put on and then frantically locked herself in the bathroom to get ready and change her clothes.

“I’m so sorry Rose. I’ll be ready in 10 minutes and I’ll walk back to the Café with you”, she shouted between spitting out her toothpaste after brushing her teeth.

Fifteen minutes later, Rey and Rose were hurrying out her door. Rey had gotten dressed rapidly and hadn’t taken the time to groom herself properly. She had walked out sans deodorant, her hair was uncombed and she hadn’t washed her face so there was still remnants of mascara under her eyes.

She hadn’t slept well the night before. She had woken up after seeing an image of Armie, lying in a pile of broken glass, bruised and bloody in the asphalt of the street. His eyes were staring lifelessly as she peered down at him.

She had started screaming in her dream and woken herself up. She couldn’t go back to sleep after that episode. She had sobbed into her pillow until tiredness had overwhelmed her.

She knew her eyes were still red and puffy from her tears, in addition to having deep purple tinged bags under her eyes.

She knew she looked like a hot mess and she didn’t care. She just wanted to go to work, make it through the day without breaking down in tears and then leave to go back home to a silent, empty apartment.

She tried to pick up her pace while walking, so much so that she started to stumble and almost tripped when the toe of her sneaker hit the deep groove of the sidewalk. She started to fall forward when she heard footsteps rushing up from behind her. Rose grabbed her arm as she fell forward.

“Oh girl. Don’t rush. We are almost there. We all have tough mornings and I know the mornings have been even tougher for you since Armitage passed. Finn and I are here to support you”, she reassured Rey.

Rey smiled and glanced towards Rose. She knew that Rose and Finn were there for her. She’d been friends with them both for over a decade. She was the maid of honor at their wedding. Rose was supposed to be the maid of honor at Rey’s wedding.

If it hadn’t been for them, she wouldn’t have had a steady source of income over the last past months. Working at the café wasn’t as glamorous as working at a law office but she didn’t have to worry about putting on a front that she couldn’t maintain.

The suits that she wore every day as a paralegal were now shoved to the back of her closet. She didn’t eat out at fancy restaurants for client lunches or dinners anymore. If it wasn’t for Rose and Finn forcing her to take leftovers from the café she barely would remember to eat.

Rose and Finn had been there for her emotionally as well as financially. They reminded her that life was worth living and that she had to go on living her life.

Rose constantly told her that Armie loved her more than life itself and he wouldn’t have wanted to see her withering away to nothing as she laid in her bed all day and night, curled under her covers, consumed by her desolation and sadness.

She prayed that he would come back to her. She knew that wasn’t a possibility, but her heart ached for him even if she knew that he was gone.

Finn and Rose took turns coming over to her apartment and talking to her. They made sure she took her medication that her doctor had given her that he had said would alleviate some of her pain and sadness. They reminded her to bathe and to wash her clothing. Things she never thought she would need any reminding of.

Finn glanced up from the counter he was standing behind once Rose and herself walked in through the door.

He smiled at her. “Hey peanut. Glad to see you up and about today”. She nodded and grabbed the black apron that was hung from a hook on the wall and tied it around her waist. Rey nodded at him and walked over to the customers in the corner booth that had just arrived.

She put on a large grin and asked them what she could get for them.

The café wasn’t particularly busy that day but she made a decent amount of tips and even though her feet throbbed and her knees wobbled as she stood, running orders back to the kitchen, Rey was satisfied with what she had made.

The busier days were always welcomed because being busy kept Reys mind off of her loneliness.

The café was small. It only had seating for up to 20 customers, but Finn and Rose had ensured that the atmosphere was homey and bright. They painted the walls yellow, and Finn would say that the color of paint matched his perception of Rey. ‘A ray of sunshine in his life’ he would tell her.

She had met Armie during freshman orientation at Jakku State University in Long Island, New York. He was her dorm’s Resident Assistant, a senior and lived on the floor below her. The first night she had met him they sat in her dorm room chatting about their lives and found that they had many common interests.

Her roommate Kaydel was rarely there as she lived 20 minutes from the University and spent most of her nights back at home or with her boyfriend. Rey saw it as a waste of money. Rey was on a full needs-based scholarship. She knew money didn’t grow on trees and was thankful that she had the opportunity to earn her degree and to live on campus.

Armie’s family came from money but he never made her feel like she was any less because of where she had come from. She worked hard during her time in school studying political science. He worked at the school bookstore part time.

After their initial meeting, Rey and Armie were never apart. He brought her home with him on holiday breaks since she didn’t have any living family members. His family welcomed her with open arms.

After graduation, he started his master’s program there and took a job as a teaching assistant so that he could be on campus more often to see Rey. They had dinner together almost every night.

After she had graduated with her bachelor’s degree, she landed a job at a prestigious law firm where Armie’s father worked at. She was thankful for the job even though she spent most of her day running coffee orders, , picking up dry cleaning and fielding calls for the partners rather then actually doing anything remotely related to law.

She moved in with Armie in a small studio apartment in Brooklyn because both of their salaries combined didn’t add up to Manhattan apartment prices.

It wasn’t until after she earned her Master of Legal Studies through taking online courses two years later that she actually started to be given work relating to cases that the firm was working on.

Armie made her feel like she was a princess sitting on a pedestal that he was worshipping even if the partners treated her like she was old bubble gum stuck to the heels of their oxford wingback shoes. Even as the role of a paralegal she was assigned to smaller, low profile cases to research. She wasn’t privy to the high-profile corporate defense cases that she saw made the news.

Armie took her out to nice restaurants, bought her frilly, pretty dresses and spoiled her with more than she ever had in her life growing up. She hadn’t had much in terms of material items as a child growing up in the foster system. She had put most of her items in a trash bag which she had taken with her from home to home.

Even when he proposed, it was more than she had ever expected. When Armie asked Rey to join him in Denver at a professional conference hey had gone to the top of what people had coined as “the lovers ravine” as it was known for a clear view of the city and was known as a popular proposal site.

Rey looked down at the beautiful diamond and sapphire encrusted ring on her right hand. She felt like Armie was still there with her when she glanced down at the ring. It was as if part of him was with her everywhere she went even if he wasn’t there with her physically.

As she was sweeping the floor of the café after her shift ended, Rose came up to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

She examined her face and frowned. “Darling you don’t look you’ve been getting a lot of sleep. Your bags under your eyes are much more pronounced then usual”, she told her.

Rey bit her lip and looked away from Rose. “That’s because I haven’t been getting much sleep. I keep waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares about Armie. Sometimes he’s laying in a pool of blood and broken glass next to his flipped car and sometimes he’s laying on a table in the morgue, bloody and cut up. Just like he did when I had to go to identify his body. The images keep haunting my dreams. I wake up screaming and can’t go back to sleep”, She explained with tears welling up in her eyes.

Rose looked at her concerned. “Do you have nightmares every night?”, she asked.

“Practically every night. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep and wake up with just an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

Rose pulled out her phone and pulled up a webpage, which she showed to Rey.

“I know you are not ready to put yourself out there into the dating pool again but maybe you should consider a ‘Cuddle Buddy’. My sister Paige used one after she broke up with her long term boyfriend. She said he was completely professional and made her feel completely at ease during every session.”, Rose explained

Rey frowned and wrinkled her forehead. “What is a cuddle buddy?”, she questioned.

Rose grabbed the chair at a table by the front window and gestured for Rey to site down as she looked at a profile of a Cuddle Buddy named ‘Kylo Ren’, that Rose had brought up. It almost looked like a photo from a dating profile but his photo was more casual. It was a photo of a tall man with shoulder length silky black hair, fair skin and gleaming amber eyes. He was sitting on top of a bed, holding a pillow and smiling.

Rose giggle as she pointed to Kylo’s profile. “A cuddle buddy is a professional cuddler. You pay to cuddle with them. They’ll come to your home. They will hold you Whereever you want. Your bed, couch, fouton, ect. Its not sexual. Cuddle Buddies aren’t sex workers. You are paying for their time, companionship and for the comfort that they provide you by them holding and cuddling with you”, she explained.

He’s really a handsome man, Rey thought as she stared at Kylo’s profile. She read it out loud to Rose.

‘Hi I’m Kylo Ren. I’m 34, single and a lawyer during my day job. At night I am here to bring you the comfort and security that you need. I guarantee you will sleep better with me by your side and wake up refreshed and relaxed.’

“He’s a lawyer..uhh ..I don’t know about that. I dealt with a lot of lawyers when I worked at Armie’s dads law firm and 9- percent of them were arrogant, pompous assholes who treated me like I was there to serve them at their beck and call when I was the paralegal. It was even worse when I was the administrative assistant before I earned my graduate degree”, Rey complained and let out a sigh.

“He’s who Paige used and within two weeks of using his services she was sleeping better and performed so much better at her job. She didn’t need him anymore after that. She said he was a perfect gentleman and even recommended certain sleeping positions that would lead to her being more relaxed in her sleep. There was never any funny business and he didn’t bore her with any details about his day job. “, Rose gushed.

I can’t afford him”, Rey said pointing to his hourly rate of 15 dollars an hour. “I have what’s left from Armie’s life insurance and my Grandfather’s trust. I won’t know about the settlement funds from the accident for another three months.

Rose pointed to the fine print. Well there’s a trial period discount, you get the first week for just $10 an hour as long as you sign a three week contract agreement.

Rey shook her head and grabbed for her purse. “I just don’t know about this whole Cuddle Buddy thing, Rose. I mean, letting a complete stranger into my place and then into my bed at night. Trusting him to hold me all night and absolutely nothing romantic or sexual to happen between the two of us?”, she said exasperated as she started to walk out the door.

Rose winked at her. “I trust my sister 100 percent Rey and I want what’s best for you. Finn and I have been extremely concerned about both your physical and mental health lately and if someone like Kylo can help to destress your life and bring back the old Rey to me again, I’ll be extremely grateful to him. He may just be what you need in your life to jumpstart your way back. Back to your health, your career and hopefully your happiness”, Rose argued as Rey gave her one last half smile.

“I’ll think about it”, she told her as she stepped outside and let the door shut behind her.

As she walked back to her apartment, she thought to herself, what’s the worse thing that could happen. He’s like a contractor. He’s licensed as a cuddler. He works for a company that contracts out the ‘Cuddle Buddies” Plus Paige used his services before. Rey knew that Paige was next to impossible to please. She had really high standards with everyone in her life, especially men. She took every break up hard but always dove head first into the next relationship. If he was able to make Paige happy then maybe it wouldn’t hurt just to try just one night with him.

It wasn’t like it was a date. It wasn’t a date. She was hiring him to share a bed with her but that was it. It was professional, not sexual. She could do this. She could bring Kylo into her bed and use him like he was a giant teddy bear. This could work.

When she got home, she changed her clothes. Took a warm shower and then heated up a microwave meal to eat.

She pulled out her phone and went to the webpage. She filled out her contact information, including her cell phone number. She included a picture of herself as was requested.

The webpage asked her to write a little blurb about herself and why she was requesting the services.

‘Hi, I’m Rey. I’m 28. I’m a waitress but have a graduate degree in law. I recently lost my fiancee and am still grieving him. I have nightmares that keep me up at night. I am interested in obtaining your services so that I can sleep better.’.

She pressed send. Simple, to the point. Nothing she said was untrue and didn’t give too much away as to her true state of disarray in her life since losing Armie.

She went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water and was placing the pitcher back in the refrigerator when her phone started to ring.

She didn’t recognize the number. It couldn’t be him, she thought to herself. Could it?

She answered and hesitantly said, ‘Hello’.

“Rey?”, a deep, soothing voice asked.

“That’s me”, Rey responded in a soft tone.

“Hi there. This is…Kylo Ren, you sent an inquiry through the ‘Cuddle Buddies’ site. I think that I can help you sleep better. I can provide several recommendations, if needed. How about I come over tonight and we’ll talk a little bit before going to bed? “, he asked.

“I uhh..this is all of a sudden. I didn’t expect you to call so soon after my request. I am calling you based off of a recommendation. My friend Rose, Tico, her sister Paige used your services and raved about how well she’s now able to sleep because of your help. I don’t think I’m ready right now. I can meet you tomorrow though. I get off around 8 pm”, Rey explained.

“What time do you typically get ready to go to sleep?”, Kylo asked. His voice was low and soothing.

Rey took a deep breath. Truthfully, she typically spent her nights watching something on TV. Anything to drone out the pain and distract her. Typically, she didn’t get into her bed until she couldn’t stand to keep her eyes open any longer.

10 pm she thought. That was a more normal bedtime. That was what time Armie would typically drag her into bed with him.

“Around 10 pm”, she responded.

“Ok, well then, I’ll be at your place around 10 pm tomorrow. It’s always best for the client if I don’t distract them from their bedtime routine, rather I am there as an enhancement.”, he told her.

A look of confusion appeared on Rey’s face but she didn’t want to be seen as naive to Kylo. She didn’t know what he meant by an ‘enhancement to a nighttime routine’ but she was willing to give his services a try. She wanted to feel secure and safe. She wanted the nightmares to stop. She prayed that Kylo could provide that to her.

“Ok, tomorrow it is”, she agreed. She gave him her address and told him goodnight before she hung up the phone.

She took a deep breath and moved towards the TV to switch it on. She wasn’t sure exactly what to expect once Kylo arrived and felt a combination of nervousness and giddy anticipation.

Chapter Text

Rey’s heart was racing all day during her shift at work. She tried to push back her nervousness about meeting Kylo. The thought of Kylo’s arms around her , in her bed that she had shared with Armie.

No one else had been in her bed with her since she lost Armie. Besides for the night of the funeral where Rose sat with her on the edge of the bed and waited with her until fell asleep. Rey suspected that Rose was afraid that Rey would do something to harm herself.

If Rey was honest with herself, she was not thinking straight during the funeral. She hadn’t thought of harming herself, but she thought about not wanting to be without him. She wasn’t sure how she would make it through life without him.

Rose comforted her that night and assuring her that she would be ok. She told Rey that life would go on without Armie, but it was important to keep her memories of him, just not to let those memories trump living out her future without him.

Rey suddenly felt a cold splash of water hit her forearm as she stood next to the sink, staring out the back windows of the kitchen into the alley.

“Earth to Rey”, Finn stated as he waved his hand in front of her face, breaking her trance.

Rey looked startled for a moment and then turned to face Finn.

“Whats on your mind Peanut? You’ve been distant all day today. You’ve been staring out the window for the past ten minutes. Plus you almost spilled a whole crock of seafood chowder onto Mr. Karsinski’s lap earlier”, Finn asked. He frowned and his lines on his forehead became more pronounced.

Rey shook her head. She appreciated Finn’s concern. She knew that her nervousness about hiring a stranger to come to her apartment and cuddle with her at night was written all over her face.

She thought about backing out of their arrangement several times throughout the day. Her finger was poised on his phone number on her cell phone at least five times.

She had almost talked herself out of having him come over but then Rose would come around a table where she was and tell her bits and pieces of stories of her sister Paige’s experience using his service.

“Kylo was so sweet around her. Totally professional though. She never felt like he was coming on to her. She felt more like it was a therapist that goes to bed with you. Someone that soothes you and talks you off of the ledge. Nothing romantic or even anything remotely sexual was brought up in any of her sessions”, Rose said reassuringly.

Rey would smile halfheartedly and tell her that she just had an odd feeling that something was going to happen.

“What do you mean by ‘something’?”, Rose asked.

Rey scrunched up her eyes and rubbed her fingers against her temple.

“It’s hard to describe. I just have a feeling. I had a dream last night that this man with long , dark hair with eyes shining like amber and skin the color of alabaster was staring into my eyes, his face mere inches from mine and then he brushed his lips against mine. Then I work up in a cold sweat. I felt tingly all over”, Rey explained.

Rose winked at her, and a grin spread across her face. “I mean, Rey, you did see his photo. You are describing him to the tee. You just probably had a fantasy, that’s all. I mean he is a good-looking guy. Having a dream about someone that looks as good as he does is completely normal and expected”, she had reassured Rey.

Rey stared blankly at Finn and blinked several times. “I’m just nervous about tonight. That professional cuddler that Rose recommended is scheduled to come over tonight around 10 pm. She reassured me that he was a perfect gentleman and professional around Paige but I don’t know I just have this really odd feeling”, Rey explained.

Finn threw back his head and chuckled at her. “Oh, you mean Rose talked you into hiring a gigolo?”, he managed to get out in between his laughter.

Rey stared at Finn like he had two heads. “Kylo is not a gigolo Finn. He is a professional cuddler. Nothing sexual is involved”, she clarified.

Finn rolled his eyes at her. “Sure, sure. Think about it this way Rey. A gigolo is not necessarily always paid for sex. They are paid for companionship or to accompany you to events or on dates. Sex isn’t always involved unless you make an arrangement that specifies sexual acts will occur. How is a professional cuddler any different? You are paying for this ‘Kylo’ person’s time and companionship.”, Finn explained.

Rey shook her head. “There’s a difference Finn. Cuddler’s aren’t prostitutes or sex workers. Its different. There are no sexual acts involved and these sessions aren’t events or dates”. She told him.

“Finn, there’s a three seater party that came in and I need you to get ready to manage their food orders”, Rose shouted from the swinging door between the dining area and the kitchen.

“Just a minute”, Finn shouted back.

“All I am saying is I don’t think you are ready to get into whatever you are getting into with this guy. I am concerned about you. I don’t want to slip further away from Rose and I then you already have. Also, Paige has a tendency to only focus on positive aspects of an experience and skims over the negative experiences so I don’t think you are getting the full story from Rose”, Finn noted as he grabbed the order ticket from Rose’s outstretched hand that had reached in between the open window area into the kitchen.

Rey stared at Finn for a few seconds until she realized he was only focusing on prepping the food.

“I am going to go through with it and we’ll just see how it goes. Maybe it will just be a one-shot deal. I’m willing to give his services a try at least once.”, Rey replied as she walked into the dining area, order notepad in hand.

After her ship ended, Rey walked back home. She took a quick shower as she didn’t want to scare Kylo away with the stench of meat and sweat that she felt had permeated her skin and hair.

She decided to keep her look simple. She wore a pair of grey cotton shorts and a Black oversized Green Day concert T shirt that she had kept for over a decade. Her hair was affixed in three small buns on top of her head and she had scrubbed her face clean of makeup but moisturized her skin. She put some lip balm on her lips.

She was in the middle of shoving some papers under the bed in a frantic attempt to make her room appear somewhat clean and organized when she heard a strong, loud rapping at the door.

Rey rushed to the door and glanced down at her phone. It read 10:05.

Rey hesitantly opened her front door and took a sharp deep breath in when she took in the man that was standing on the other side of the door.

He looked better in real life then he did in his photos online. He was tall, around 6 foot 2, a muscular build. His hair had a slight curl to it and a strand had fallen into his eyes.

“Rey? Are you Rey Niima?”, Kylo asked. His voice was deep and captivating. Just with those five words Rey felt like her knees had turned to jelly and she was going to collapse if she didn’t take a step backwards to steady herself.

Rey nodded and smiled tentatively at him. “Yep, that’s me. Kylo I presume. Its nice to meet you”, she told him.

Rey took a few steps back, still staring aghast at how handsome Kylo was when he strolled casually into her apartment and started to move towards her couch. Rey started to follow him. He sat down first and gestured for her to site beside him.

“He nodded at her and seemed to sweep his eyes over her.

Rey felt shame wash over her. She should have dressed in something nicer, she thought. It looks like I just came out of a college dorm room she thought even though her college days were put way behind her.

He pulled out a tablet out of the messenger bag that was dangling from his shoulder.

“Ok Rey, since this is our first session together, I’d like to ask you a few questions to get to know you better and your living situation. I’m not going to ask you about the specific reasons why you requested my services although If you choose to disclose that information, its at your own discretion”, Kylo stated.

"Do you have a roommate that I need to worry about coming in and interrupting our session?", he questioned her.

Rey tried to stifle a laugh. Her apartment was tiny. She had lived in a large house when she was together with Armie but after he passed away and she took the job at the diner, she was forced to find something that she could afford on her own with her meager salary.

There was barely enough room for her at her place, much less a roomate so his question sounded funny to her.

"No, its just me living here", she replied.

"Do you have loud or nosy neighbors that could come knocking at your door at all hours?", he asked.

Rey shook her head. "No, noone like that. I mean my friends Rose and Finn that work at the diner with me may pop by in the morning but no one comes at night randomly.", she told him.

Rey tried to muffle a yawn and she covered her mouth quickly. “I’m sorry”, she said looking embarrassed, “Its been a very long day and I am quite tired. I will try to answer as many of your questions as I can though.

Kylo smiled at her. “Ok then we will start with the ground rules. I promise that I won’t ask any personal questions besides the information that you provide to me during our sessions and in turn you can’t ask any personal questions of me. Does that make sense?”, he stated.

Rey frowned and she was sure that the look of confusion marred her face.

Rey shifted uncomfortably on the hard seat of her wooden kitchen chair. She was concerned at that moment. Why would Kylo ask for personal information about her up front in his app in order to book his services but then refuse to give her any personal information? That didn’t make sense to her.

It would be nice to know some basic information about him at least. She didn’t expect him to give her any information besides that but it would be nice to know just enough personal details about him that she would feel comfortable enough around him to trust him.

Trust was very important to Rey in any relationship, personal or professional. Rey wanted to be able to trust someone, especially a someone that would be sharing her bed with her. Rey was never a casual relationship kind of girl. She didn’t have ‘casual’ friends. She definitely didn’t have casual romantic relationships. Armie had worked to earn her heart and she worked to earn his but it took time and a lot of trust from both sides.

Rey chewed on her bottom lip. “I already gave you personal information about me when I signed up for your service. I told you my name, age, my education level, what I currently do and why I needed your services. So you are telling me , I can’t ask you any questions about yourself?”, she questioned.

Kylo laughed and put his hand over hers, which were intertwined, resting on her crossed leg.

“You can ask me questions but I am not going to deviate from my normal protocols of not giving up personal information about myself. You’d be surprised by the questions that clients ask me during our sessions. Each session is meant to be about my clients needs being satisfied. Building you up to a point where you can feel comfortable. The sessions are not about me, just what I can do to help you. Think about me like your cuddler therapist. “, Kylo explained.

Rey shifted again in her seat. “Ok, I got that. I won’t ask you any personal questions”.

“Ok good, now that we got that out of the way. Lets get down to the information about what will happen tonight.

He waved his arms around as he spoke. His hands flew in front of Rey’s face. Rey felt like he was speaking to her through his hands and his hands seemed angry, even though he was sweetly smiling at her. Rey stared at him. He wasn’t giving off the air of being an angry person but Rey just had a feeling that deep down, he harbored anger that he just didn’t show to everyone.

Just the way he had told her that he wouldn’t answer personal questions during their sessions. It felt like he was closing himself off to her from the beginning. Like a giant STOP sign in front of his face. Its for the best, Rey thought. I don’t want to get too close to him because after I can’t afford him anymore, he’ll be out of her life for good.

Kylo stood up abruptly and made a sweeping gesture throughout her studio. What size bed do you sleep on and where is your bed located?”.

Rey giggled. She pointed to the left hand side of the apartment, where a large white wooden cabinet stood.

“I have a murphy bed. It pulls out from the cabinet. It’s a great space saver in this tiny apartment. I have very limited space. Its only a twin size so uhh given your size, you may not be very comfortable sleeping in it with me. I do have a full sized bed within a pull out couch though in the living room area. That may be a better fit for you.”, she said.

He nodded at her. “Ok that works then. Lets try the pull out couch then. For tonight we are just going to practice some distance comfort exercises so a twin bed wouldn’t allow us that opportunity to have that space between us.”, Kylo told her.

Rey got up and went to grab some clean sheets, four pillows, a comforter and a navy blue chenille blanket from her linen closet. She went to work, pulling out the bed from the couch and making it up.

Rey let him use the bathroom before her to get ready. He grabbed his backpack and went in. He came out in a pair of black cotton pajama bottoms and a black V neck cotton T shirt. His long hair was combed back into a pony tail. Rey couldn’t help it, she stared at him and moved her eyes down to his muscular arms and pecs which were highlighted by the tight T shirt.

Kylo seemed to notice but only smiled at her. He nodded towards the bathroom, “Now its your turn”.

By this time, Rey was exhausted. It was past 11 pm. She just wanted to curl up in bed and stare up at the ceiling like she normally did. This wasn’t a normal night though. She was going to lay next to a man she didn’t know, who she was paying to comfort her and help her sleep better.

Rey’s mind raced with a million different thoughts. What had she gotten herself was the main thought that dominated her concerns.

Kylo had already gotten underneath the covers and he propped himself up on one elbow and motioned for her to join him next to him.

Rey tentatively went under the covers and laid her head on a pillow. Yep, she thought, she must have lost her mind. She didn’t know what to expect from the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

Rey awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside of her window. The light streamed in through her fabric blinds in her studio apartment. Rey typically didn’t notice the sound of nature outside of her window. The car horns blasting and the sound of trucks rumbling down the streets below her window typically drowned out any sounds of nature that were present in the City.

This morning was different though. Today she tuned into the sound of birds chirping and smiled as she remembered the events of the night before. She threw her arm next to the space beside her on the pull out bed of the couch. She knew what she would find, what her arm would land on once it crashed down to the surface below.

Her hand hit something soft. Definitely a pillow, just a pillow. Nothing else. Her bed was empty.

She could still make out the impression in the bed , where his body had lain beside hers.

A moment of disappointment hit her. She knew it was irrational disappointment.

For a fleeting moment she thought that her arm would land on something firm, something warm. Kylo’s shoulder or his back.

Kylo had already left her apartment. Of course he did, probably around 6:30 am because the contract only included an eight hour time period. He hadn’t disturbed her and she was sure that he locked the door when he left because he said that he would.

She shouldn’t have expected him to stay over that time period until she woke up for free after all. What was she thinking? It was a business relationship; she shouldn’t confuse what they were with anything else.

Last night had been odd for her though. She just expected that he’d cuddle with her and she’d stare at the ceiling for hours before finally sleep would overtake her. She didn’t expect to be out like a light twenty minutes after his arms were wrapped around her and his body was pressed firmly against the curve of her back. His legs intertwined between hers.

Rey had never slept in bed with a man in a non-intimate setting before. She had to keep telling herself as he held her close to him that it was not about sexual intimacy, she was doing this to take back her power and gain control over her life. To not let her depressed state about losing the love of her life over take her any more.

Yet as hard as she tried, she still felt like what she was doing with Kylo was an intimate act. Even if his hands didn’t explore her body, even if his lips didn’t touch her face and even if she couldn’t feel an erection pressing against her backside as he held her.

She kept telling herself she didn’t know this man. She tried to picture him as a giant teddy bear and not as a man that she was attracted to because she thought that the thoughts of a cute, squishy, cuddly teddy bear would keep her mind from going into the gutter.

It didn’t help though. Her mind still went straight to sex. Sex she obviously wasn’t going to have with him. That would cross the professional / personal boundary that he had already made so clear to her was set. Plus she hardly knew Kylo. She wasnt even sure if Kylo was his real name ir not.

Even with her mind in the gutter, she slept peacefully for the first time in months. Once she was asleep she didn’t toss and turn. She didn’t wake up several times in a panic, realizing that the love of her life wasn’t the one that was holding her.

She slept the entire night without interruption all thanks to Kylo.

When she got out of bed , she checked her phone and saw that he confirmed their next appointment for that later that night.

It was short and to the point, just confirming the time. Like before he didn’t ask any questions.

They hadn’t really talked before she fell asleep the night before but there was one short conversation that had taken her aback somewhat.

Kylo had asked to use her bathroom, which he had to cut through the area with her bed to get to the bathroom. She was sitting on the side of the couch when Kylo came back up to her ad he was holding out a framed picture that had been displayed on a night side table beside her bed

He held it out to her and cocked his head to the side.

“Who is this man with you in this phone?”, he questioned.

Rey smiled. That was her favorite photo of her and Armie. They had been goofing around after a trip to the beach and Rose and captured them hugging tight, with Armie’s lips grazing Rey’s cheek. She just had to smile every time she saw the photo so it was the first choice for her to frame and have next to her bed.

The photo reminded her of when she was happy, not just with Armie but with life in general. When she could work a office job without wanting to run out the doors screaming and when she could get out of bed without having to be reminded to do so by Rose everyday.

Rey took the framed photo from Kylo’s hand. She grinned up at him but then dropped her smile as she stated, “This was my fiancée Armitage Hux. We were together for several years. He died about five months ago in a car accident”. Rey guled and looked down at the phto in her hands.

Rey fought back the tears that were welling in her eyes. She didn’t want Kylo to see her cry. He placed the photo on the table behind the couch.

“I thought you told me that we wouldn’t ask each other any personal questions. You taking the photo by my bedside with me and another man and questioning who the man is, feels very personal to me”, Rey stated frowning.

Kylo shook his head emphatically. “No, not personal at all. Rather more curious. I thought he looked familiar and you have confirmed my assumptions for me.”

Rey narrowed her eyes as Kylo sank his body onto the mattress. “You knew him?”, she asked.

Kylo gave Rey a halfhearted smile. “I did indeed. My freshman year of College, he was my roommate. We went to Coruscant University together. He looked different then of course at 18, more boyish, no facial hair and his hair was cut short. We were both Poly Sci majors back then. I went off to law school but he always insisted that wasn’t his pathway. He said his pathway was going to be a different one then his father s. He had quite the reputation back then”.

Rey looked at Kylo curiously. “What do you mean by ‘quite the reputation. Armie was pretty straight-laced when we met. He didn’t drink or smoke even. He never even talked about past relationships. His friends that I met that knew him for years never mentioned him having any type of reputation”.

“Lean over on your side and face the wall. We are going to start simply tonight. I will be the big spoon and you the little. Maybe after a few days if you get comfortable with this position, we can switch to another position”, Kylo replied seemingly ignoring Rey’s question.

Rey turned to her side, propping herself up on one elbow. Not being able to face Kylo meant she couldn’t study his face when he spoke to her.

Rey was typically good at reading people when they spoke to her. Their eye contact, their body gestures, the amount of times they blinked told Rey all that she needed to know about a person and how truthful they were being. That skill had come quite in handy when she worked as a paralegal. She could read the clients, she could read the opposing counsel, she could even read the judges.

She didn’t like not being able to read Kylo’s face but she didn’t want to question his methods on their first night.

“Are you going to answer my question or not. I am really curious about how Armie was around others before I met him. I thought I knew him pretty well. I could always read him by the way that he looked me in the eye. I never sensed any deception”, she told him.

Kylo draped his arm over Rey’s shoulder and she stiffened up in his arms. His hand landed on her arm. He felt warm and Rey felt tingly just from his fingertips brushed up against her arm.

He cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean anything by the comment Miss Niima. I am sure he changed over the years as he matured. He was a bit of an ass to everyone back then. Sort of flaunted his wealth and notoriety. He always wanted to lead every situation that he was in. He was my friend though we got along just fine. Back then we both thrived in knowing we could flex at least some power even at eighteen”.

Rey closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his cologne. He smelled like sandalwood and oranges. His scent was comforting to him and she wiggled her body closer to him.

Kylo pulled back from her some when she wiggled her behind into his crotch. She hadn’t meant to do it. She could tell that he tensed up the moment she moved back into his body.

“Please call me Rey, just Rey”, Rey corrected him.

She didn’t like the formality of being addressed by her last name. She wasn’t at school or at the doctors office.

She was with Kylo, in his arms. She felt safe and protected for the first time in several months.

His body felt like it was a furnace. She only had a light comforter covering them. Anything else would have been kicked off in the middle of the night when she became overheated.

His arms were muscular and she could feel his strength in the way that he held her. He held her firmly yet gently at the same time.

With Armie she had also felt safe and protected but in the few months she had spent planning their wedding, she felt like his mind was somewhere else even if his body was there with her.

She could tell that Armie had been concerned with something but he never mentioned to her what his concerns were. When she asked what was wrong, being firm that she knew something was wrong he would brush it off and tell her that what he was worried about was nothing that she needed to concern herself about. She was still concerned though.

Armie never disclosed to her what was bothering him before the crash. After the crash, his family, specifically his father and his law firm handled the funeral planning and all of his financial matters.

Rey felt like a nobody again after the funeral. Rey Nobody, that was her. She wasn’t entitled to any of his estate. He didn’t have a will , so nothing was left to her even things that they shared like his car. She struggled to afford the rent on their Brooklyn apartment.

She couldn’t continue to work with Armie’s father as the job just reminded her of Armie and the life she no longer shared with him.

So here she was, working 12 hour shifts at the diner, not having a life outside of working.

She envied Kylo in a way. He had gotten to see a different side of Armie that he either didn’t share with Rey or had moved past that life.

She had told herself when she younger that when she got married, she wanted someone that would share their complete self with her. Good and bad. She wanted to know that person completely . Now Kylo was putting doubts in her head that Armie had shared his complete self with her.

She just nodded and didn’t continue the conversation further. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

The next thing she remembered was waking up alone in the bed.

She had to get ready for work. She knew that Rose and Finn would jump on her with questions as soon as she walked into the café.

Rey spent a few extra minutes putting herself together. She brushed her hair, put on a minimal amount of makeup including a smatter of pink pearlescent lip gloss. She wore a v neck red blouse that hadn’t seen the light of day from her closet in ages.

Rose cornered her in the kitchen once Rey walked in. “So you must give me all of the juicy details. How was it?”, she asked excitedly.

Rey shook her head but couldn’t help but to crack a smile. “There are no juicy details to spill. Honestly. He kept things completely professional and on his terms outlined in his contract. I did sleep like a baby though. He promised that I would sleep through the night and that indeed happened”, Rey told her.

“Ok but Paige said he was crazy hot. She said that she had a hard time keeping her hands to herself during their sessions. What did you think? “, Rose asked.

Rey smiled and then bit her lip and turned her head away from Rose to hide her smile. “He’s a handsome man. That is besides the point though Rose. I didn’t hire him to stare at him like a statue of Adonis all night. I hired him to lull me to sleep. I definitely slept, the entire night”.

“Rey threw a dish towel at Rey playfully. “Ok, Ok I’ll let you get back to work. Besides, Dopheld is in a booth right now waiting on you. He asked specifically to be sat at one of your tables.”, Rose said with wink.

Rey blushed. Dopheld Mitaka was one of her regulars at the cafe. He always asked for her when he came in and relentlessly flirted with her when she’d serve him his coffee and bagel.

Dopheld was in his mid 30s, had fair skin with freckles on his cheeks and sported dark hair that was always slicked back. He always wore a button-down shirt and tie. Rey wasn’t sure what he did for a living but she was guessing that he was in accounting. He just looked like an accountant or what an accountant in Rey’s mind would look like. He also talked about numbers and money all of the time that added to her suspicion.

She made her way to where Dopheld was sitting. He was staring at his phone, typing a text when Rey walked to the side of his table. Her glanced up at her and all of a sudden he flashed her a big smile.

“Hey Rey. You look lovely today by the way. I just want my usual but maybe tell the cook to go lighter on the cream cheese, last time it was spilling over on my bagel”, he instructed.

Rey smiled. Typical Dopheld, she thought. He was complaining about his food not being right yet he kept coming to the café, day after day. Rose told her it was only to chat Rey up and not because he enjoyed the food. Finn even admitted that the coffee was absolute crap but they couldn’t afford to upgrade the brand that they were using just yet.

Rey nodded . “I’ll go and put in your order now”, she said. She smiled at him, trying to avoid rolling her eyes.

Rey scurried to the kitchen and was met with Finn, winking at her as she handed him the order.

“Is lover boy here again? That boy never gives up , does he? How many times has he asked you to go out with him on a date? How many times have you politely turned him down? He’s trying to wear you down until you say yes to him”, Finn said grinning at her.

Rey rolled her eyes at him. “He hasn’t tried to ask me out today yet, he just complimented my appearance.”, she explained.

“Ahh has the gigolo that you hired made that much of an impression on your Rey. I haven’t seen you wear your hair down or put on a speck of make up in ages. Not that you aren’t a knock out every day but usually you don’t put much effort into your appearance”, he joked.

Rey playfully hit him as he handed Rey the coffee cup and then the plate with the toasted bagel.

“For the last time Finn, he is not a Gigolo. I did not hire him to be intimate with me and that’s not what he does anyway.”, she insisted.

Finn smirked, “Ok, intimacy surrogate then?”.

Rey shook her head and started walking out the door to the dining area with her tray filled with several items.

“He’s not that either. For the last time, he’s a professional cuddler. He calls himself, a cuddle buddy. He was completely professional and didn’t go past any boundaries that were set. I actually got a good night’s sleep. I didn’t wake up the whole night. There was something odd that happened though”, she explained as she stopped, the door swung back shut.

“What’s that?”, Finn questioned.

“He saw a photo of Armie and I and told me that he was Armie’s roommate freshman year of college. He then proceeded to tell me that Armie had ‘quite the reputation’ during his college years. He wouldn’t explain further though, not really. He said they were friends. The whole conversation just threw me for a loop. I mean what are the chances that I meet Armie’s roommate and then he tells me that my wonderful fiancée had a wild reputation? Armie was very buttoned up and straight-laced from the moment that I first met him.”, Rey explained.

Finn bit his bottom lip and turned his gaze to the floor. “Sometimes Peanut it is just better to live without knowing information that may hurt you. It is in the past and Armie is dead. I suggest that you just don’t push it anymore. Just live in the present, Rey. You need to move on with your life.”.

Rey cocked her head to the side and stared at him curiously. She felt like he was not telling her something.

He gestured his hand towards the door, “Now go before the coffee gets cold. Wouldn’t want to disappoint your best customer with cold coffee now, would we?”.

After Rey delivered Dopheld’s order to him, he leaned over to her and looked up at her.

“I’ve got this small party that’s being held at the Ultra Bar this Saturday night, starting at 8 pm. I’d love for you to come with me”, he asked.

Typically Rey didn’t give his invitations a second thought but being with Kylo the previous night had given her a new perspective. She thought to herself, maybe it won’t hurt to put myself out there.

“You know, actually, that sounds like fun. I’ll be there”, she exclaimed.

Rey felt giddy the rest of her shift. She received a text from Kylo confirming that he’d be over again around 10 pm again.

Besides her date with Dopheld, the prospect of seeing Kylo again made Rey smile and look forward to seeing what the night would bring.

Chapter Text

His hands were so large. That’s the first thing Rey thought as she felt the pads of his fingers lazily drift down her waist. He was holding her firmly but not pressing harshly into her skin. His touch wouldn’t leave any marks on her skin.

She closed her eyes and felt the rush of pleasure washing over her, she gasped as his she felt his fingers brush against her clit.

She moaned and whispered his name into the crook of his neck, “Kylo”.

“Earth to Rey, Earth to Rey”, Rose said while waiver her spread fingers in front of Rey’s face as Rey stood in front of the sink in the kitchen of the café. The water was still running, splashing on her hands as she held a glass in her hand. The warm water had turned to cold and Rey hadn’t noticed until Rose brought her out of her trance.

“What were you thinking of Rey? You had a soft smile across your face. I haven’t seen you smile like that in forever at least not since you would go on your date nights with Armie and that was years ago”, Rose exclaimed looking at Rey curiously.

Rey shook her head, trying to dislodge the thought of Kylo’s fingers brushing up against her most sensitive parts.

“I’m fine. It was nothing. I wasn’t smiling at anything particular. Just smiling at life in general”, Rey responded, hoping her response would placate Rose and not lead to further questions.

Rose grinned and fluttered her eyelashes at Rey. “Are you seeing him again tonight?, she asked.

Rey looked at her innocently. “You make it seem like it’s a date. Its not a date, Rose. This is his job. I'm just another client to him. No feeling are involved or will be involved”.

Rose raised her eyebrows.”Its too late to say that on your part”, she commented.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Rey questioned.

“Oh come on Rey. You were with Armie for years and over the last few years, especially after you two got engaged, when you should have been at your happiest level, I never saw you smile like you just did.”, Rose teased.

Rey looked down at the ground. “It’s not like that Rose. Kylo has made that very clear to me that he is a professional and respects the boundaries between professional and personnel.”

Rose grinned and winked at Rey. “Sure Rey, whatever you say. You don't smile like that with just anyone, Rey. You obviously have a thing for this Kylo guy, even if you won't admit to it. I bet he has a thing for you as well, who wouldn't Rey?", Rose exclaimed.

Rey knew her friend was just trying to make her feel better. Men didn't drop at her feet. She felt awkward around men, especially handsome men like Kylo. She didn't know what to say to them. She knew her introverted personality and shyness was a turnoff to guys like Kylo that exuded confidence and charm.

She thought that Kylo could easily bed any woman that he wanted to. His good looks and charm probably worked double time for him both in the courtroom and in the bedroom.

Rey sighed and looked once more at Rose.

"So what are you going to wear on Saturday on your date with Dopheld? I have that sparkly , lowcut black dress that I wore to the holiday party last year. You know the one. You are welcome to borrow it. I am sure that you will knock Mr. Mitaka’s socks off when he sees you in that dress”.

Rey giggled. “Its not that kind of first date Rey. I don’t want to knock his socks off. I’m still not even sure if I should even go. Part of me wants so bad to cancel on him. I don’t feel like I’m ready yet to date. Another part of me though is challenging my doubting self. Telling me that if I am not ready yet to jump into the dating world, I never will be. I need to find out what its like at least so I’m going to make myself go out with him”.

Rose rolled her eyes at her friend. “Well don’t sound so enthused about your date Rey. You know Dopheld comes in here almost every day and not because our coffee and food is so great. You know he’s coming in to see you not drink the coffee. “.

Rey glanced in Rose’s eyes. “ At least someone wants me right?”, she said sighing.

Rose put her foot down and grabbed a tray of food. “Don’t be an idiot Rey, any man would be lucky to have you. Men fall over themselves over you but you never notice”, she told Rey.

Rey bit her lower lip. “Well, that’s certainly not true. Some men seem to be shoving me away lately”.

Rose pushed Rey’s shoulder playfully. “Come on now, go take Mrs. Saman’s food out to her. She will be complaining if her food gets cold and I don’t want to be a target of her wrath. Remember last time when she was pointing her finger in Finn’s face yelling at him because her coffee was luke warm. I seriously thought Finn would have thrown the coffee straight in her face but he managed to keep his composure”.

“Maybe he should have then as long as the coffee wouldn’t have burned her. Let her soak in cooled down coffee with her mean attitude,”, Rey exclaimed.

Later on that night, after her shift had ended. Rey prepared for Kylo’s arrival. She ate another crappy microwave meal that left her still hungry and changed into her pajamas. This time she attempted to war something that she thought was cute but didn’t look like she put too much effort into her appearance. Her hair was in three mini buns placed carelessly on top of her head. She had a pair of bubble gum pink silky shorts and a cotton navy blue V neck tee shirt, which dipped just slightly to show just a bit of cleavage when she wore a push up bra.

Rey thought twice about wearing a bra to bed but thought it was worth it to feel just a little bit sexy then she normally did.

Rey thought about her daydream of Kylo’s hands drifting slowly down her body and being in wonderment of how large his hands looked as they moved slowly down her hips. She blushed a bright shade of pink just as she heard a knock at the door.

Kylo walked past her, barely looking at her. He was twenty minutes late. His hair was disheveled and it looked like he had slept in his clothes. His tie was off center and his shirt collar was unbuttoned.

He walked towards the bed and started to strip his clothes off until he was down to his boxer shorts and a black cotton T shirt, not saying a word to her.

Rey felt her heart drop to the floor. She had hoped that Kylo would have noticed the effort that she put into looking nice for him.

He looked up at her face as her as he lay on the couch, the covers tossed aside, bypassing her body.

“Come get in bed Rey. I’ll hold you and you can relax with Me.”, he commanded gruffly, looking down at the covers.

Rey shook her head at him and crossed her arms at her chest.

“You know, I don’t think I want to do that right now Kylo. This isn’t what I signed up for”, she stated. Her level of agitation rising as he narrowed his eyes at her.

“Just get in bed Rey. I’m sorry I was late. I had a hell of a day in court. I will make it up to you, I promise. You’ll sleep like a baby tonight. Just come and lay next to me”, he pleaded.

Rey gingerly sat on the edge of the mattress, propping up her body with her palms flat on the bedsheet. She felt nervous. She didn't want to overstep her boundaries with Kylo but wanted him to talk to her about what troubled him. She wanted to have a normal conversation with him.

“Do you want to talk about your day? Maybe it will make you feel better to talk about what happened.”, she questioned. She chewed on her lip nervously as she wasn't sure how he would take her inquiry into his life.

He clenched his jaw and tightened his lips into a grimace.

“No Rey, I don’t want to talk about it. That’s not how this works. I’m supposed to provide you with comfort, not the other way around”, he spat out.

Rey abruptly stood up and walked towards the kitchen area.

She didn't want to be around angry Kylo. Angry Kylo was not a fun man to be around. She realized that her perception of him had been off.

It wasn't just sunshine and rainbows in his head. 

“I don’t think that this is going to work out Kylo if you aren’t willing to talk to me after you burst through my door looking like you just went through hell and then act like you are all high and mighty. That’s not what I signed up for”, Rey angrily told him.

Rey tried to control her voice, it was late and she didn’t want to wake up any of her neighbors. She paced around the linoleum floor of the kitchen.

“I hired someone to comfort me, to bring me peace when I sleep. That is what I am paying you to do. I didn’t hire someone to yell at me when I asked them to talk about their day”, she stated.

Kylo sighed and the look on his face softened. His eyes drifted down Reys body and then back to her face as if he was noticing her for the first time.

“You look nice tonight Rey. Not that you didn’t before. I am sure you know that you are a beautiful woman. I’m sorry if I came off as angry. My anger in no way was directed towards you. I just had a rough day in court today. I would rather not talk about it. Suffice it to say, tomorrow night is going to be rough for me as well as it’s a continuation of the same court case. I promise not to come into your apartment like a bat out of hell anymore”, he stated, his voice lower and less gruff then before.

Rey walked back to the bed and got under the covers. She tried to relax as she rolled onto her side with her back to Kylo.

His strong arms pulled her into him so that her body curved into his so perfectly that they seemed to fit like puzzle pieces into each other.

Rey sighed and let the heat from his body comfort her. She let herself go. She felt like she was floating in a pool on her back just drifting in the water.

She knew when she woke up that he wouldn’t be there with her. She had accepted that. She just tried to make the best of the hours that the did have together.

She could pretend that their brief conversations and few unconscious hours together meant something. She could pretend that was all that she needed even if she needed to lie to herself as she needed much more.

She had to settle for the piece of him that he gave to her at that moment.

She felt his lips brush over her exposed outer shell of her earlobe. “Good night Rey. Sweet dreams”, he whispered into her ear before the darkness of the night enveloped her.

As her alarm blared harshly and her eyes flickered open, she opened her eyes and rolled over to only feel an empty space where Kylo had lain during the night.

Something caught her off guard though. Rey raised herself up and stared at the pillow beside her in wonderment.

Laying on the pillow was a single, cut pink rose.

Chapter Text

The day before her planned date with Dopheld seemed to fly by so quickly. Rey tried to busy herself with mindless tasks.

She went on a run before her shift started. Running always helped her focus her thoughts. Running was an outlet , where she could think freely without the constraints of stress, anxiety and pressure that typically overwhelmed her. When she ran, she was free of those internal and external stressors that plagued her, at least temporarily.

Rey was apprehensive about her appointment with Kylo. She had two major obstacles that she had to battle.

The first being that she only had enough money in savings to afford his services for another week. She was dreading having to tell him. Even though she had only known him a short time , she felt a connection that she couldn’t deny whenever he was around. A connection that she rarely felt with anyone else.

She felt comforted and protected when she was with Kylo. She dreaded waking up in the morning because she knew that her bed would be empty and those feelings would be once again gone; just like he was.

She had debated on selling a ring that she had inherited, that was rumored to be her grandmother’s ring. Her parents had abandoned her when she was young. She had gone to school one day in second grade and waited for her father to pick her up in front f her elementary school. After an hour of her waiting , one of the school administrators noticed that she was still sitting in front of the school, staring off into space.

After calling her parents numbers that were on record and receiving no response, one of her teachers was asked to drive her home.

Rey had used her key to get into the house, only to find that the house had been cleaned out. There were no traces of furniture or any belongings left. Her parents had up and left, leaving Rey behind.

Rey had been placed in the foster system. There were several short term placements before being placed in Unkar Plutt’s care. Unkar operated a scrap yard that had junk cars. Her would allow Rey to tinker on vehicles and then he would sell any vehicles that she was able to get started. Rey was able to keep half the profits from the sales. This was the only kind gesture that Unkar offered her. Most days he left her to fend by herself with little to no support for school.

Despite not having her foster father’s support, Rey excelled in school. She had earned a full scholarship to go to Jakku State University, She wasn’t upset when she finally was able to leave Unkar’s home.

She was contacted by a lawyer at 18, just after she settled into her dorm room. She found out that her Grandfather had passed away and she had inherited his house and all of its contents. Since her Mother couldn’t be located, even though they were listed on the will, her parents lost out on the inheritance.

Her Grandfather at one time had been a wealthy and powerful man, known to be a tightwad with his money. He was also known for making poor investments. After paying off her debts, Rey was left only with a small amount leftover.

She had inherited a large house that she would have loved to be able to live in. She was sad when the lawyer’s informed her that she would have to sell the house in order to pay off the final debts. She had kept several pieces of valuable jewelry, one being a diamond ring that she coveted. It was too large for her to wear without getting it resized but Rey didn’t want to sell the last piece of inheritance that tied her to her family history.

The other important issue with continuing to see Kylo was that she wanted to see an improvement in her life. She wanted to know that investing in Kylo’s services also meant seeing changes in her feelings and behavior. She had gone to traditional therapists in the past and had quit after the first couple sessions as she didn’t feel better seeing them then she did by pouring out her feelings to a friend such as Rose or Finn. Her friend’s didn’t charge her by the hour either for lending a shoulder to cry on.

She wasn’t sure if there was any differences between when she first met him and then after yet. She thought that after two weeks, she’ll be able to get a better feeling. She realized that he wasn’t a professional therapist, he was a lawyer who offered the Cuddle services on the side.

His whole shtick for his services was that after the cuddle sessions, the person would develop a more healthy emotional balance and wellness. Her promised to listen, comfort and provide guidance when sought by the customer. Paige had raved to Rose about how he delivered on all of these promises and more. Rey wasn’t sure if her gushing review wasn’t more about how attractive and charismatic Kylo was more so then how she found emotional balance.

She wasn’t so sure the previous night had provided her with emotional comfort. She had felt refreshed and comforted in the morning. Her heart melted when she saw the rose that he had left for her on the pillow. She had almost completely forgiven him for being grouchy and snapping at her when she had asked him about his day. he had only wanted to find out what was bothering him.

She had almost forgiven him. Not completely. Armie had brought her pink roses after any tumultuous argument as a sign that he wanted to earn her forgiveness.

Sometimes he would have a dozen long stem pink roses delivered to her office. Those were typically after the days that he’s disappear off the radar on business trips. She’s try contacting him but she wasn’t able to get ahold of him. All of her messages were left on read. She would be there to meet him at the airport and didn’t say anything about how frantic she had been just to hear his voice while he was away and how she just wanted to know that he was alright.

She kept all of the resentment and anger bottled up inside of her. He would just mumble something about how his boss was a stick in the mud and didn’t allow them to make personal calls while away on business as an excuse. Armie seemed to sense that she was upset and the roses would be delivered to her or appear in a vase on the kitchen table shortly after they would argue about him not contacting her while away from home.

She thought that it must be a sheer coincidence that Kylo had also selected a pink rose to leave for her. She knew that Armie and Kylo were roommates during their freshman year of college and kept in touch for at least a few years but Armie hadn’t mentioned Kylo’s name t Rey so she wasn’t sure if he knew more about her and her relationship with Armie then he let on. She had a nagging sense in the back of her mind that told her that he did. She just couldn’t prove it yet.

Kylo hadn’t given her any indication that he knew anything about her every time that she spoke to her. She had found it strange that he had put up his guard with her the previous night when he seemed so calm and collected around her the previous nights.

Rey checked her phone when she got back to her place after her shift had ended.

There was a text from Rose that indicated that she had given Dopheld her number after he complained that he didn’t have the correct number for Rey. Rose also wanted Rey to stop by her place during Saturday afternoon so that she could loan Rey the dress that she had told Rey about; the black , sparkly low cut number that she had promised would leave him in shock after seeing Rey in that dress.

Rey giggled after reading Rose’s message. Rose was her biggest cheerleader when it came to encouraging Rey to date again. If it hadn’t been for her, Rey would have stayed home, watching a cheesy romantic comedy on Netflix and chilled out with a tub of Breyer’s cookies and cream ice cream with a big spoon on her lap.

The next message was a voicemail from Kylo.
‘Hey Rey, I want to try a different setting with you during out session tonight. Can you meet me at 33rd Flight street across from the Cantina at 9 pm. I have a surprise for you that I guarantee that you’ll like. Make sure you save some room for dessert.

Rey sucked in a sharp breath. She was exhausted from being on her feet all day. She was looking forward to Kylo just coming to her place, talking with her and holding her tight as sleep over took her. Plus 9 pm was an hour before he usually met her.

She was confused after she googled the address and saw that it was a yogurt shop that was only open until 10 pm. She hadn’t been there before but she had driven past it with Armie a few months before he passed away and had mentioned to him that she really wanted to try it out. She rarely asked to go to places like that as she rarely splurged on herself. If the frozen yogurt didn’t come from a grocery store she wouldn’t buy it for herself.

Rey grabbed a microwave meal from the freezer. She scarfed down the bland tasting meat loaf and green beans but she ignored the blueberry cobbler on the side. She thought it off that he wanted to meet her for dessert. She barely would meet rent with her tips and almost never splurged on such places as restaurants or yogurt shops.

Part of her wondered if he expected Rey to pay for this excursion outside of their initial contract. Another part of her laughed off the thought because if he paid then it would be considered a date. She knew that him asking her out on a date was outside of the realm of possibility.

Besides, she had been asked out on an actual date by Dopheld, not a last minute surprise by the man that had snapped at her the previous night.

Rey changed into a comfortable pair of ripped dark denim jeans and a soft cotton black V neck T shirt. Plus her well broken in black converse sneakers. She wasn’t going to put as much effort into her appearance as she planned to make for her date with Dopheld the next night.

After all she wasn’t trying to impress Kylo, he had already seen her with no makeup on, her hair up in a bun and wearing comfy clothing to bed. He had made his intentions very clear with her from the beginng and Rey didn’t see the need to put on the razzle dazzle effect of makeup and form fitting clothing for him.

After taking a bus to the yogurt shop she stood in front of the storefront, looking in through the clear glass. She noticed Kylo sitting down at a table near the register, his head was down staring at his phone.

He was still wearing a suit. His tie was loosened slightly and his collar was unbuttoned. She hadn’t seen him in a suit before, he dressed more casually when he would meet with her. He would be wearing a polo and jeans typically. His brows were knitted together and he was furiously typing out a message, while biting on his bottom lip.

Rey took a deep breath, concerned that she didn’t know what to expect from the interaction. He looked up at her and smiled sheepishly. He got up to greet her and placed his phone in his back pocket.

He leaned in to give her a side hug, one arm went briefly around her waist and his face was buried in her neck. Rey thought that he smelled fantastic, like a mixture of aftershave and musk. She inhaled sharply as her cheek bumped against his chest. He squeezed her gently before releasing her.

“Thanks for meeting me here. The yogurt really is the best in the area and you get your choice of over 50 toppings. Feel free to load up on as many toppings that you want”, he said as his hand swept towards the yogurt machine.

Rey smiled shyly, thinking that she couldn’t afford a $13 cup of yogurt with a pound of sweet toppings. Kylo headed to the other side and started to get his yogurt. Rey was careful about the amount of yogurt and toppings she choose, going for two swirls of birthday cake flavored yogurt and a two spoonful’s of chocolate sprinkles.

She started heading towards the register when she heard Kylo’s voice boom from behind her, “What are you doing? This is my treat, I’ll get it.”, he said as he grabbed the cup from Rey’s and placed it with his on the scale.

After he paid and they sat back down at the table he had been at, Rey took a large spoonful on the cold, delicious treat. “You really didn’t have to pay for mine, I could have covered it”, she protested. She knew fully well she couldn’t have covered it because even though she hadn’t gotten much, it still cost more then the five dollar bill that was in her wallet.

Kylo looked down at Rey’s cup, “You could have gotten more then that. I wanted to take you somewhere that you’d enjoy as an apology for the way I acted last night. I was out of line in my behavior and I am sorry”, he stated.

Rey frowned slightly but then tried to cover it up by forcing herself to smile. She felt a tinge of disappointment. Although she knew that he didn’t text her to go out on a date, in the back of her mind she hoped that his gesture of inviting her to grab dessert with him off the clock was his way of asking her out. She shamed herself internally for even getting her hopes up.

She looked up at him after she had licked her spoon clean, “Well I appreciate the thought. Ive wanted to try out this place for awhile but haven’t been before”.

Kylo’s eyebrows shot up, “Really, I would have thought Hux would have taken you here for sure or another person that asked you out?”, he questioned.

Rey laughed at his implication that she went out on other dates. Dopheld was the first man that she had agreed to go out with since Armie’s passing. Not that she hadn’t been asked out by other men and a few women that came into the café but she hadn’t been interested in dating anyone else at the time.

Rey and Kylo started talking about how Rey’s day had gone, he asked her about her job as a paralegal.

“Have you thought about going back as a paralegal at another firm?, “, he asked. “My job has an opening, you should send me your resume or at least check out the posting. I’ll send you the link. “

Rey smiled up at him, “That’s so nice of you to think of me regarding the position. I would like you to send the link, maybe I’ll consider it. I can’t guarantee I’m up to work in an office setting again but I would definitely keep the job in consideration”, she replied.

Possibly seeing Kylo outside of her paying him for his services was a pleasant thought to Rey. It renewed some hope in her again.

Kylo looked down at his watch, “We should go back to your place now”, he suggested.

They started walking outside and Rey went in the direction of the bus stop.

Kylo’s voice rumbled behind her. “No, Rey, my car is parked across the street. He pointed towards a gleaming blue mustang.

The ride back to Rey’s place was pretty mundane. Rey stared out the window of the car while Kylo drove. Neither of them said anything except for some questions that Kylo seemed to ask out of politeness like is there too much air blowing on her?

When they were walking back into her building, Kylo’s hand brushed over her waist and Rey felt like his touch had burned her. She wasn’t sure how to react so she jumped slightly to the side.

“Are you alright?”, he asked.

Rey cleared her throat, “Yes, I’m fine”.

When they got back inside, Kylo gave her another brief side hug.

She went into her bathroom to change her clothes. She put on a pair of white cotton shorts with a black tank top. She had her phone in her hand when it buzzed with a message indication.

Rose had sent her a picture of the black sparkly dress that she was holding up next to a short , red tennis style dress which was more sporty looking compared to the black dress. Rey started to grin.

Kylo looked up at her from his phone, that was also in his hand. “What’s got you smiling?, he questioned.
Rey smiled again, quickly texted. ‘Oh the red one is more casual, that might give him less come hither vibes then the black one’ and closed her phone , giggling to herself.

“Oh, my friend is showing me pictures of a dress that she says I can borrow for my date tomorrow. It’s the first date I’ve been on…in ages”, she noted. She was going to add ‘since Armie passed away’ but she didn’t want to make herself cry again thinking about Armie’s death.

Kylo looked up from the couch. Rey couldn’t quite read his expression. A darkness seemed to pass over his eyes, like a stormy cloud but the darkness seemed to fade from his eyes after a few seconds.

“I see, who is the lucky guy?”, he questioned.

“This guy from my job. He come in to the café typically only during my morning shifts and always strikes up a conversation with me. My friend Rose encouraged me to accept his request for a date. I really was hesitant at first. He seems like a nice guy though. He seems safe.”, she told him.

He looked at her with his head cocked to the side, “How do you define a guy that’s ‘safe’?”

Rey smiled as she moved over to the couch to pull it out, getting ready to sleep.

Kylo stood up and helped her to make the bed up. He went into the bathroom and changed into his boxer shorts and a black V neck T shirt.

“A safe guy would be one who seems to not have another side to him, a darker side.”, she responded.

Kylo sat down on the bed and patted the mattress next to where he sat “Come get into bed so I can hold you. You know, sometimes you have to take risks in life and not always play it safe”.His voice was deeper and quieter then usual and Rey couldnt help but to obey his command.

Rey sank down onto the bed and into his arms, “I’m not sure if I’m willing to take risks”

Kylo scooped her up into his arms and held her close to his body; which felt warm like a furnace. Her own personal furnace.

He placed his face into her hair and inhaled. “Your hair smells like strawberries”, he exclaimed. Rey had just washed her hair with a bottle of Suave strawberry shampoo.

He whispered in her ear as she closed her eyes, “Sometimes taking risks pays off in the end”.

Chapter Text

Rey’s hands felt clammy. She placed her palm on her forehead, right above her brow and felt the beads of sweat. She wiped them off. When she lightly touched her forehead with her fingertips she noticed it felt rather warm.

She thought to herself that maybe she was coming down with something. Maybe she was developing a fever. Maybe she had ignored the sniffly nose and tickle in her throat that plagued her days earlier because she couldn’t afford to get sick. She couldn’t afford to take a day off as that meant she wouldn’t make rent and that she wouldn’t see Kylo again.

She had been putting aside all of her tips that week, desperately trying to earn enough to add at least an additional week to her time seeing Kylo. She had calculated previously that she would only be able to afford one additional week before she began working extra hours, taking an additional two shifts just so she could pay for his services for an additional week. She was only about 50 dollars short of his weekly rate and needed the hours this day before she went on her date with Dopheld.

As she stared at the dishes in her sink and the coffee mug on the kitchen counter, whose contents had long gone cold, she forced herself to button up the rest of her shirt, put on her apron, grab her purse and head out the door.

As she huffed down the sidewalks, forcing her legs to keep carrying on. She forced open the door of the café. The door felt like she was lifting 10 pounds of lead.

She was shivering as she walked into the door even though it was 70 degrees outside and far from balmy outside. Her skin felt clammy and she wiped sweat from her brow.

Rey caught Finn’s gaze and he frowned. She thought he must have noticed how disheveled she looked. She hadn’t taken much care about her appearance that morning. She just had focused on trying to force herself to go into work.

“Oh Peanut, you look awful. If you aren’t feeling well, you should take a sick day today”, he said. Rey knew there was concern in his tone.

Finn moved closer to her and placed the backside of his hand against her forehead. “You are burning up. You really need to go home, rest, drink plenty of fluids. Believe me we can manage here without you.”

Rey shook her head, “I have a date coming up and I need the extra money for unforeseen expenses”, she told him.

The unforeseen circumstances were because of a man that she didn’t want to stop seeing. She wasn’t ready to let go of Kylo yet.

Finn shook his head. “I am sure Dopheld will understand. Hes a man on a mission. He comes in here just to see you. Its obvious that its not for our food. He always asks for you even when your shift has ended.”.

Rey shook her head. She didn’t know what to think about Dopheld anymore. She was thinking of cancelling their date altogether. She didn’t know if she could put effort into dating again when her heart just wasn’t in it and her head was still fogged up with memories of her dead fiancee.

Rose came out from the kitchen and stopped in her tracks when she saw Rey. “Oh honey. Please don’t tell me you expected to work today in your current condition. Your face is white as a ghost except for the extreme redness in your cheeks. I don’t even need to grab a thermometer to know that you have a fever. Finn can drive you home. The car is parked outside. You shouldn’t be walking in your condition”.

Rey tried to grin at him but couldn’t force herself to smile. “I really appreciate the offer, Finn but I need to work today. Its very important. I took two asperins on my here and I am sure that they will kick in at any time. I can handle a cold,” she stated.

Everything that happened after she refused Finn’s offer of a ride home was fuzzy to Rey. She remembered walking towards the kitchen and glancing at Finn, seeing that his face was marred with a frown. She saw him clearly for a few seconds before her vision started to blur. She recognized that a blurred figure came towards her, she heard shouting and murmuring of voices that she couldn’t make out. She remembered feeling a sharp, unexpected pain radiate from her head to her neck.

Then everything went black.

When Rey awoke next, she had to blink a few times to clear the blurriness in her vision. Her head was throbbing with pain and her body ached. She was shivering violently even though she didn’t feel cold. In contrast, she felt like her whole body was engulfed in fire.

There was no longer light streaming in from the windows. There was only the filtered light streaming in from the kitchen

She groaned and she caught a glimpse of two figures in the corner of the kitchen. She heard murmuring but couldn’t make out what was being said. The voices were deep in conversation. She could make out certain words.

“I hadn’t heard from her, she typically texts me before I come over”, one deep, guttural voice stated.

“Man, you don’t need to stay. She’s not up to anything right now, she’s been asleep for over 9 hours. My girlfriend and I have taken turns coming over here to check on her throughout the day.”, another voice said. Finn.Rey knew that it was Finn.

“I want to stay. I can help her.”,the deeper voice stated.

Kylo, it was definitely Kylo. She remembered their appointment.He was supposed to come over after her date with Dopheld. A date that definitely didn’t happen. She didn’t even remember how she got home and under her covers. She assumed it was Finn,but she didn’t remember.

“Why because she paid you? So you feel obligated? Its not your place, man. She barely knows you. I don’t know how comfortable I feel about leaving a vulnerable, sick young woman with a mere stranger who gets paid to sleep with her. We’ll watch out for you. She’ll contact you once she feels better. She passed out. She needs the fever to break.”, Finn reiterated.

“It isn’t like that. I bring her comfort. I listen to her. Think of me as her night time therapist”, Kylo argued.

Finn’s voice was raised a few octaves and he was practically shouting, ”You aren’t needed dude and you aren’t a therapist. This cuddler bullshit is to scam innocent woman to give you their money to sleep with you. Sex or not, you aren’t any different then a gigolo. She needs support right now, not a man giving her false hope that he’s actually there for her. Rey doesn’t need you right now.”

Rey tried to sit up on the edge of the bed, she stumbled from her bed to the kitchen area.

Kylo and Finn turned to face her, looking startled.

“Rey get back to bed. I’ll get you some pain relievers to help bring down the fever. I just need you to ask your friend here to leave. Rose and I can continue to take care of you”, Finn requested.

Rey turned to look at Kylo and then back to Finn. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “It is ok Finn, you can go home. I’ll be ok. I want him to be here with me”, Rey responded.

Rey caught Finn rolling his eyes. “Rey you are half delirious from the fever. You don’t know what you are saying. I don’t know what good this man is going to do you right now. I’ve been watching over you for a few hours. He just shows up and thinks that he can do any good for you as you slept”, Finn argued.

Rey’s cheeks flushed with anger. She may not be feeling like herself but she knew what she wanted. She wanted Kylo to be with her. She just wanted to go to sleep knowing that he was there.

“I want him to be here Finn. I appreciate you taking care of me but you should go back to Rose . I’ll be ok, I promise.”, Rey said softly, her voice cracking.

Rey glanced at Kylo and he had a smug smile on his face as he looked at Finn. He nodded at Finn and then gestured his head back to Rey, “The lady has spoken, looks like I am staying. You are free to go home now.”

Finn frowned but begrudgingly grabbed his coat and started to wal out of the door. “Remember Peanut if you need anything at all, feel free to contact Rose or I. We won’t sleep much until we know you are feeling better”, Finn told Rey.

Rey watched as Finn left and felt a hand pressed against her shoulder. “Kylo leaned down and brushed her hair away from her shoulder. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Get back into your bed Rey. Take the aspirin.”, he told her as he handed her a glass of water.

She gulped the two aspirin down and spun around to face Kylo.”Finn is right you know. You have no obligation to be here. I am obviously sick. You could get sick too. You are exposing yourself to whatever crud I have caught”, she rationalized.

Kylo gently ran his fingers up and down her left arm and gazed down at her stoically. “Its ok Rey, I am willing to take the chance. I don’t feel right leaving you alone right now. We had an appointment”.

Rey shook her head and shifted her eyes to the floor, “Its ok, consider the appointment cancelled. You are free to go off wherever you would like and be with whoever you’d like to be with. I don’t want to force you to be with me right now , especially not in the state I am in”, she argued.

Kylo stared down at her, grabbing her arm and lead her back to her bed. She flopped down and he covered her with the comforter before throwing off most of his clothing except his boxer shorts and slipping in bed behind her.

Rey closed her eyes. She drifted into a comfortable bliss of darkness and warmth. She felt his arms grasping her body tightly, His bare chest pressed against her thin T shirt and his knees tucked behind her calves.

She drifted off into sleep, not feeling the pain of her headache or the chills that had run through her body. The muscle aches ceased.

Flashes of Armie appeared before her eyes. Him smiling at her. She reached out to grab on to his hand and she saw a dark shadow standing behind him, pulling his body beyond her reach. She ran forward to grab onto his hand again. He was no longer smiling at her, rather he appeared to be screaming, although Rey couldn’t hear his cries for help. She could only see the grimace in his smile and his mouth wide open.

A terrifying deep voice creeped up from behind her, whispering. “I have him now. You won’t ever get him back. You won’t ever be loved again. You only chance to be loved is gone. I have taken him from you”.

Rey screamed back at the overwhelming darkness surrounding him. “Bring him back, I want him back”, she shouted.

Rey heard a loud boom as a clap of lightning illuminated the darkened sky. She looked down at her feet and saw a pool of blood. The dark figure and Armie were gone.

“Noooooooo”, she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Rey felt someone shaking her. Her shoulders were being pushed back and fourth.

“Rey wake up. Please wake up, you were having a nightmare.”, Kylo stated in a calm, soothing voice. He was no longer curled up behind her. He was kneeling on the other side of the mattress, pushing into her shoulders firmly with both hands.

Rey opened her eyes and stared at him. She gasped for air and then took a deep, calming breath.

Intrusive thoughts crowded her head, telling her that noone loved her. She'd be alone for the rest of her life and that she didn't deserve love.

Rey tried to push those thoughts away. 

She needed to hear that she was loved though as a final push away of the negative thought. She wanted to hear the words from the man that had been holding her close and stroking her hair.

Rey looked up at him.

“Tell me that you love me”, she asked him breathlessly.

Kylo let out a shaky breath as he bit his bottom lip. His hands were no longer pushing against her shoulders. He stopped moving.

His voice was quiet but gentle. “Rey, I can’t say that. I’m sorry. It wouldn't be right. I can hold you again if you’d like. I have another hour before I have to go home”, he explained.

Rey closed her eyes . Her breathing became staggered once again. “Please, please just tell me that you love me. I just need you to lie to me. I need to hear it”, she begged.

Kylo sighed and touched Rey's cheek gently, he gave her a piercing look. "I don't want to lie to you. You deserve more than deception; you deserve true love. You deserve someone that can honestly tell you that they are in love with you. Not a forced deception", he stated in a soft, gentle voice.

Rey’s thoughts thick with confusion and agony at the vision she had of Armie. No matter if it were a nightmare or something else, she needed to hear Kylo tell her that he loved her. She knew that it wasn't true. He had called telling her that he loved her, 'a forced deception'. She knew that it would be a lie if he told her that he loved her. She needed that false hope in order to move on from the nightmare. She needed to hear that she was loved by him, even if deep down she knew that it was a lie.

Rey felt Kylo get back into position behind her. She felt his lips brush the side of her forehead. She felt his fingertips catch onto the strands of hair that were stuck on her forehead by sweat.

She could feel his breath tickling the outer shell of her earlobe.

Kylo took a deep, staggering breath. He didn't say anything for awhile and silence filled the room.

The silence became overwhelming to Rey and she felt like she was going to scream and start shaking with grief again.

Then she heard him say something just below a whisper. Too quiet to hear. She turned her head to face him with questioning eyes.

He repeated his words, louder this time. “I love you Rey”, he whispered softly into her ear.

Rey's breaching hitched for a moment before she sighed. She could sleep peacefully now.

Chapter Text

Rey sleeps through the night without having a nightmare that startles her awake. She remembers seeing herself running through a field of blue cornflowers. The sun was shining. She had on a long white dress and her hair was down, flowing free in the wind and felt happy and warm as the sun shone on her. There felt like there was someone that she was running towards but she couldn’t see anyone around her in the field, she just kept running in the same direction hoping that the person she was running after would be there.

Then she opened her eyes and saw that the sunlight was pouring in through her blinds. She opened one eye partially and turned her body.

There was no one beside her. She was alone.

Of course he didn’t stay the night, she thought to herself. He’s just doing his job and you aren’t paying him to stay the night so he won’t.

She always was hopeful though that she would wake and Kylo would be there beside her.

How well do you actually know him Rey, he’s a cuddler. You pay him to cuddle you until you fall asleep and then he leaves and go home.

He told her that he loved her.

She knew it was a lie. She had asked him to lie to her.

He hesitated to say it, he only told her that he loved her after she pleaded.

Rey knew that he only said it out of pity for her.

She knew that it wasn’t true. She thought that e didn’t love her and he certainly didn’t care about her. He was doing his job that she paid him for.

Rey felt the tears that had welled up in her eyes , run down her cheek. She tried to wipe them off with the back of her hand.

Her phone buzzed on the bedside table. Rey rolled over and grabbed it.

The text was from Kylo. ‘Good morning Rey. As promised I am sending you the job link for the opening in my office. Once you apply, my secretary will call you to set up an interview. It won’t be with me, it will be with my partner. I couldn’t be the one interviewing you for obvious reasons. You would be a good fit here at Snoke Law Firm.

His message made her smile again even though the fresh tears still ran from her eyes . He had told her about the opening for a paralegal in his office.

Working with Kylo would mean that she could spend more time with him but it would also mean spending less time with Finn and Rose. They had saved her from herself at a time that she thought she would self destruct after Armie’s death. She felt that she owed them.

She didn’t like being on her feet for hours at a time or having her as smacked by arrogant men who viewed her as an object and not as a person. Those same men wouldn’t even bother leaving her a tip after slapping her ass and whistling at her.

Plus she struggled to pay for rent , food and other necessities. She was just narrowly getting by. When she was working as a paralegal in Armie’s legal firm she never worried about things such as her electricity being shut off or getting by on peanut butter and toast for dinner.

Plus she wouldn’t be able to afford to keep seeing Kylo. Kylo, who brought her comfort . Kyl who allowed her to sleep without being plagued by dark nightmares. Kylo, who took her out for ice-cream and made her smile for the first time in a long time.

She didn’t want to lose Kylo from her life.

She could potentially him during the day even if she could not longer be with him at night during the weekdays.

His weekends were his downtime though when he wasn’t working. She was just work afterall and even if she did get to work professionally alongside him she didn’t expect him to see her any differently.

Rey wondered who he spent time with on the weekends. She wondered if he had a girlfriend or dated. He never talked about his personal life. Not that Rey hadn’t tried to bring it up,he would just shut her down and tell her the session was about her and not him. He kept her at an arms length to remain professional.

Rey didn’t think he would let her in to that personal side. She would take that piece of him that he offered to her though as he made her feel safe.

She remembered the dream she had the night before. She imagined that maybe she was running in the field of flowers towards Kylo.She looked so happy and free in her dream. Maybe Kylo had that effect on her by telling her that he loved her. It didn’t matter if his statement was true or not.

Maybe she should take Kylo up on his offer; it wouldn’t hurt her to at least apply.

Rey got dressed for the day and grabbed her laptop. She said a little prayer and clicked on the link in the email that Kylo had sent to her.

She read over the job description. She had done everything listed in the description at Hux’s father’s firm when she was working as a paralegal.

She knew that she was taking a leap of faith but at the same time she didn’t think it would hurt to apply.

She spent the next hour completing the application and sent her resume. She clicked on the completed’ button and shut her laptop.

It was a Sunday so she knew that she wouldn’t hear back from Kylo acknowledging receipt of the application. She didn’t expect to hear from him at all as she knew Sunday was his free day. He had told her that he took Sunday off to unwind and relax.

She was lost in thought when she heard a knock on her front door.

‘Peanut, its me. Open up the door”, Finn loudly stated from the other side.

Rey went to open the door and invited Finn to come and and sit on her couch.

As she sat across from him on a side chair, Fin sighed and frowned at her.

“We need to talk about Kylo Rey. I don’t think that he has your best interest at heart. He was there for you last night but would he have been there if you were not paying for his bullshit cuddling services?”, he questioned.

Rey shook her head and stared into Finns eyes, she saw only genuine concern reflected back at her.

She sighed deeply before addressing him. “Finn, I appreciate your concern and I know that you are only looking out for me but where was that same concern for me with Armie? ”, she asked.

His eyebrows raised, “What do you mean Rey? Hux loved you and he wasn’t pretending to care for you.”, he asked. Rey scowled as she knew he was feigning ignorance.

Rey shook her head, “Really? So why was he picking stupid little fights with me months before he passed? Things that I did that never bothered him in the past all of a sudden became and issue such as the way I dressed or how I cleaned the house. I felt like he was pushing me away from him.”, she explained.

Finn frowned, “Rey I don’t understand what those things relate to me? I didn’t know that you guys were fighting. He never said anything to me and neither did you”, he said.

Rey bit down on her bottom lip nervously. “You were at the house with Rose when he drove off that night. I had told you I was working late and was on my way. You promised that you would wait there for me. You saw him before he left. Plus you both were there when the police officer came to talk to me.”, she explained.

Finn’s shoulders sagged a little but he still cocked his head and looked at her confused.”I still don’t know what you are getting at Rey.”

“He wasn’t by himself in the car that night . There was another passenger with him that survived the crash. A female passenger. She was with him that night.”
Finn continued to give Rey a puzzled look. “Peanut, I don’t see what you are trying to get at. Yes, we know Gwen Phasma was with him that night. They said they were going to an awards ceremony and she came to your place dressed to the nines that night. She was his law partner after all. Why would I have questioned their relationship was anything but professional. You never questioned me on this before”, he stated.

Rey sternly looked at Finn. She loved her friend but she suspected his words were hiding some known truth. “No but I kept having these nightmares about the crash and sometimes I would sense that someone else was there even though I couldn’t see them and I felt a strong bond between that person and Armie.”

She took a staggered breath before continuing, “I sensed in my nightmares there was love. A strong bond of love that I always assumed was directed towards me. What if their relationship was more then just professional. What if he was picking stupid fights with me because he was trying to push me away to start his new life with Gwen. “.

Finn looked down at his hands, “Rey, you’ve been through so much, I don’t think us speculating about a supposed relationship that was never brought to the light before Armie died is doing any good for your mental well being”.

Rey looked at Finn with pleading eyes, “I just want to know the truth Finn, even if it means that I have to confront Gwen about it”.

Finn shook his head, “You know Peanut, sometimes it is better to believe in a reassuring lie then to be aware of the painful truth. You are just starting to move on with your life and you don’t need to dig up the past. You also don’t need some stranger putting these negative thoughts in your head. That man Kylo is just toxic and you should just cut off his services. ”

Tears started to well in Rey’s eyes. She tried he best to not let Finn see her cry.

“Kylo isn’t putting these thoughts in my head Finn, if anything he’s finally making me realize that I need to get past this rut that I am in and move forward. He makes me feel good about myself and I finally can sleep without having terrifying nightmares keeping me awake every night.”

Finn’s phone started to buzz and he pulled it out of his pocket and stared down at it.

“Its Rose, she needs me to help her set up a an app on her computer. Please think about what I said about Kylo Rey. He’s going to be there for you as long as the money is coming in but once you aren’t able to pay him, he’ll be gone just like if you weren’t able to pay a therapist or a ..you know…Gigolo.

Finn stood up and started towards the door.

“Finn for the millionth time, Kylo is not a gigolo. I am not having sex with him”, she shouted to his back.

Finn opened the door and turned to face Rey, “Yet, Rey. You aren’t having sex with him yet. That man will soon enough manipulate you into having sex with him. He will take advantage of your sadness and loneliness. I can guarantee it. The way he was looking at you it looked like he was going to devour you whole.”

Finn shut the door and walked out.

Rey finally released the tears. She burst into tears and went into her bed. She curled into a tight ball, hugging onto her legs as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

She told herself that Finn was wrong about Kylo. Kylo was genuine. Kylo wasn’t trying to take advantage of her. He had sympathy for her and listened to her.

She couldn’t shake what he said though, “It is better to believe in a reassuring lie then to be aware of the painful truth”.

Finn was right about that. That’s why she asked Kylo to lie to her and tell her that he loved her. It was reassuring to hear, even if she knew it was a lie. A part of her wanted to believe it was the truth.

It was better than knowing what she suspected was the truth. Armie loved her but he wasn’t in love with her, he had fallen in love with someone else. He was going to leave her for someone else.

Believing at least someone would put her first and want to be in love with her, even it was a lie was better than facing the truth, that no one wanted her to be theirs.

She let out a sob as her phone rang. She saw that it was Kylo calling and took a long, deep breath before answering.

“Hi Kylo, whats wrong?”, she asked. She didn’t expect him to call her on a Sunday so instinctively felt something must be wrong.

“Rey, I forgot something at your place. I would wait until Monday night until I see you next but I need it for a meeting on Monday morning. So figured if you were home I could just swing on by and pick it up. Will you be home until 5 pm tonight? I promise I won’t be any later then that. I hope you are feeling better”, he said.

Rey let out a shaky breath and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. She did remember seeing a messenger bag in the hallway by her bedroom door last night but hadn’t really paid attention when Finn came over to talk to her.

“Sure that’s fine. I’m feeling better. No fever but I’m still really tired”.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be too long and will let you rest. Rey, are you sure you are ok, you sound different”, he questioned.

“I’m…fine..I promise”, she stuttered out.
“Oh ok. I will be over in about an hour.”, he exclaimed before hanging up.

Rey tried her best to put herself together before he came over. She put the messenger bag by the door so he could just grab it and leave. She dried her tears and splashed her face with mirror. She put on a casual pair of jeans and a grey Vneck T shirt that emphasized her cleavage. She smeared some cherry flavored chap stick on her lips. She placed her hair in her standard three bun up do and secured the largest bun in the back with a pair of hair sticks.

Just as he promised, Kylo knocked on the door an hour after he called Rey. He stared at her for a few moments as she stood I the door way. He cocked his head to the side and looked at her inquisitively.

She sighed. She may have wiped he tears but she knew her face must look still swollen and puffy from crying.

“Rey are you sure you are ok? Do you want to talk about it? I have some time. Why don’t we sit on the couch and we can chat”, he told her.

Rey really didn’t know what to say to him. She sill wasn’t thinking correctly, her thoughts still scattered after her argument with Finn.

She briefly looked up at him trying to avoid directly looking at him. “I’m fine, I swear. Everything is ok. Don’t you have to get back to your family..or your girlfriend..or umm..boyfriend”, she stated.

She knew that she was fishing because she didn’t know if he was in a relationship or not. He had refused to tell her any personal information about himself other than that he was a lawyer.

Kylo’s eyebrows shot up and he shook his head. “I don’t have anyone at home waiting for me”, he responded. That still didn’t answer Rey’s question if he had a significant other just that he didn’t have a live in significant other.

He must have noticed that she was still looking at him with an inquisitive look. “I don’t have a girlfriend Rey. I work so much and with the Cuddler side gig, it wouldn’t be fair to the person that I was with. I wouldn’t be able to give them all of me. If I am dating someone I want to give them my all, any less then that would be cheating them out of the real relationship that I couldn’t provide to them”, he explained.

Rey sat cautiously on the edge of the couch. She nodded at his explanation. It made sense really. He was too busy to date. That meant he would be too busy to have Rey in his life for real, something other than just his client. He would be too busy to date Rey. She sighed.

“Its fine, Kylo. I don’t want to hold you up. I know Sunday is your day to relax. I just got in a fight with Finn is all over my relationship with Armie. “, she said. She purposely left out the part about Finn’s vitriol towards Kylo.

Kylo reached out his arm to place it on Rey’s back and started to rub small circles on her lower back. “That guy has a stick up his ass but I can see that he cares about you. His concern last night about me was understandable. He was just looking out for you”.

Rey nodded. “I know, he does care about me.”, she tried not to give him extra information as not to give him an additional reason to stay any longer. “I am really tired Kylo, I want to just crawl back into bed.

Kylo nodded and glanced at her with a look of concern. “I’ll call you a little bit later to check on you.”, he said as he stood up and grabbed his bag.

Rey remembered about the job .

“Oh and Kylo, thank you for the reference to the paralegal job at your firm. I applied earlier today. I didn’t know if I had any chance in getting the job but I though why not”, she told him.

Kylo winked at her as he walked out the door.

“I am glad you applied Sweetheart. I think you have a good chance at getting the position” he said.

As the door closed, Rey smiled for the first time that day.

Chapter Text

Rey tapped her fingers incisively on her formica kitchen table and stared at the email that had just arrived that morning. She had already read it over twice but still wanted to read it over one more time for good measure because it seemed too good to be true.

She had an interview scheduled for 10 am Tuesday morning with Kylo’s law firm. She felt so unprepared. She didn’t know how she would even get downtown on time. She wasn’t sure if her suits from her last job even fit anymore. She hadn’t worn a pair of heels since before Armie had passed. Her waitress job had her on her feet constantly and she preferred to wear a comfy pair of sneakers.

She didn’t know if it was even appropriate to use Kylo as a reference. After all what was he to her?

Was he her friend? He was supportive of her when she needed him to be but maybe it was just because he was a kind person or maybe it was because he felt obligated to be there for her because she was paying him.

Maybe they weren’t true friends.

Were they dating? He had taken her out and paid but never said that it was an official date. Rey assumed he had taken pity on her situation and was just being nice to her when she was feeling bad. He was a lawyer and she was a waitress. She wasn’t sure what he could possibly see in her.

Rey was a nobody from nowhere. Kylo was a somebody, he was a prestigious lawyer. He was smart and charming.

He made her heart melt when she was around him. He would just smile at him and she felt butterflies in her chest.

She wasn’t sure how he felt about her.

No, definitely not dating. They were from two opposite worlds. Rey couldn’t imagine him not being embarrassed to date her. She only could imagine him with someone from his social circle. Someone glamorous, unlike Rey. Someone with a prestigious job equal to Ben’s. Not a lonely, widowed waitress. Not Rey.

Rey quickly accepted the invite to the interview and tried to take a deep , calming breath.

She could do this. She could finally move on. She was stuck in her current life. Living with the ghost of Armie and not being able to return to the old Rey. The confident Rey, The Rey that smiled and enjoyed going out with friends. She missed the old Rey and she was determined to bring her back.

Later on she sat in a booth across from Rose and excitedly told her that she had a job interview as a paralegal.

“That’s fantastic Rey, so proud of you. Where is the firm located?”, she questioned.

Rey spotted Finn, mopping the floor near the kitchen entrance and looked back at Rose.

“With Kylo’s law firm. He encouraged me to apply. I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to go back to that life”, Rey told her in a hushed tone, trying to avoid Finn hearing their conversation.

“Oh that makes sense”, Rose responded.

“What do you mean?”, Rey asked.

“Well, isn’t it obvious? He knows that your relationship as a cuddlier and customer won’t last much longer and he’s forced not to cross professional boundaries in the job. He found a way to keep you close to him.”, she explained.

Rey was taking a sip of water as Rose told her that and chocked on the water trying to laugh at how ridiculous Rose’s statement was.

She stuttered out the word, trying to breathe normally again. “No, seriously I don’t think so. We are friends or something I think we are friends. Other times I am not sure what we are. As you said, he acts within his professional boundary most of the time but sometimes I feel like there is something else there. A connection but I wouldn’t say that its outside of a friends connection.”, Rey explained.

Rose rolls her eyes, “Finn tells me that Kylo glances at you like you are already his. He talks about you as if you are his to protect. I really can’t say that he’s 100 percent correct because it’s Finn that has had the interactions with him. Really Rey, who wouldn’t be crazy about you. “, he says.

Rey bites her bottom lip, “Well if what Finn said the other night is true even my own fiancee wasn’t in love with me even though I thought he was the love of my life. Its like a hard slap on the face”.

“Yeah well Armie was an ass Rey. You never saw him like we did. He was a narcissistic jerk who only cared about himself. I mean Dopheld almost falls over himself just to catch a glimpse of you and from what I hear Kylo is willing to drop everything to come to you”, Rose explained

Rey shook her head at Rose’s statement, “Well Finn is obviously wrong.I’ll prove it”, she said.

“How will you prove it?”, Rose asks.

“I’ll ask if he’d cross his boundaries for me or anyone else at our next session. When he says no and I know he will then it will prove Finn wrong”.
Rose wiggles her eyebrows at Rey. “So you are going to proposition him for sex and see if he goes for it?”

Rey rolls her eyes at her friend. “Well sort of..ok maybe..yes. Its best to just rip off the band aid now, to tell him I don’t have any more money to keep paying him and to get an idea where his head is at. I mean I’m not sure if he actually likes me, just feels bad for me and my situation or treats all of his clients like this and is just an opportunist”, she rationalizes.

Rose tilts her head looking curiously at Rey, “An opportunist? What do you mean?”

Rey nods her head towards Finns direction as he squeezes the mop into the bucket. “Well if Finn is actually right, Kylo is actually a Gigolo who, for the right opportunity will go beyond what’s in his set of Cuddler rules”.

A customer comes into the cafe and stands behind the Hostess sign. Rose gets up and walks towards him. “She turns back and looks at Rey. “You know Finn has your back and is only looking out for you. He tends to act like an overprotective older brother at times though”, she states.

Rey finished her shift and made it to her place where she collapsed on her bed and stared at her closet. She didn’t know what she was going to wear. She hadn’t worn any of her suits in a while. She had lost weight and was sure they’d just hang on her body and look shapeless. She wondered who would interview her and if she would even see Kylo there. He was a bigwig after all, she didn’t think he would be the one interviewing her.

The next day, Rey sat in a stiff black leather chair in a lobby inside of Kylo’s law firm. He had texted her to wish her luck with the interview. She thanked him but their conversation ended there.

Kylo rarely texted her on nights that he wasn’t coming to her house so she didn’t expect him to say much to her but appreciated that he did reach out to wish her luck.
She nervously wrung her hands together, her nails dug into her pal, She had selected a black pants suit and silk red V neck top that she thought looked sharp. She applied a lot more makeup then she was used to putting on and had put some effort into curling her hair instead of wearing her hair into multiple rightly pulled buns.

The receptionist had called a woman upon her arrival and told her that, “Ms. Niima” was waiting for her. Rey swear that she hear her say, “Yes, yes that one that he told us about” before waiving Rey to sit down.

A fairly young,tall, svelte, woman strolled into the lobby with what Rey though was an arrogant confidence. She had dark blood red lips and heavy black eyeliner. Her platinum blonde hair was pulled tightly into a low bun near the nape of her neck.

She stiffly reached out to Rey with a plastered smile, “Hello Ms. Niima My name is Bazine Netal. I am the office manager at the firm. Nice to meet you. If you follow me back to my office we will go over the position. I wasn’t sure if Mr. Solo has discussed the details of what the position entails with you but he has spoken highly of you and was confident that you were highly qualified for the position.”, she said stiffly as she waved Rey towards the chair on the other side of her desk behind the glass doors of her office.

Ry sat awkwardly in the seat. “Exuse me, did you say, Mr. Solo?”, she asked with confusion crossing over her face.

Rey thought that she saw Ms. Netal frown as she cocked her head looking at Rey. “Yes. Mr. Solo, our Junior partner in the firm. His office is down the hall from mine but he’s currently out with the Senior Partner, Mr. Snoke, so unfortunately Mr. Snoke won’t be able to meet with you. However, Mr. Solo advocated for you.”, said Ms. Netal.

Rey got the impression that Ms. Netal was annoyed with her. She got that general impression of dislike the moment that she outstretched her hand for Rey to shake. She spoke to Rey stiffly and slowly. Rey wasn’t sure why she would act like her before she even met her.

Rey smirked, Finn was right one one point about Kylo at least. He hadn’t given Rey his actual name. He let her believe that he was ‘Kylo Ren’ and never told her otherwise. Rey assumed that it was a name he gave clients to protect his privacy.

She was still a little annoyed because she thought that she was different to him, someone that he could trust enough to give his real name, rather then finding out that he had given a false name at a job interview. A interview that he has pushed her to go to.

Ms. Netal went over the job description with Rey. As Rey listened to the requirements and realized that she had overestimated her qualifications when she applied for the position. She had been a paralegal prior to working at a waitress for six years but she realized that she didn’t know any of the software programs being utilized and half of the duties were things that the lawyers had done at the firm that she had been at.

She realized that she was over her head.

The rest of the interview involved a lot of head nodding and Rey answering yes or no questions. In the back of her head she just kept thinking, “I have no chance” or “Why am I here?”.

Ms. Netal ended the interview with the words, “We will contact the chosen candidate in less then two weeks. We thank you for your time Ms. Niima”. She was a little less stiff then she had been in the beginning but Rey still had a feeling that she didn’t like Rey.

Rey could just imagine the feedback that M. Netal would give to Kylo/ Ben. “Oh she’s an absolute a disaster. She’s not qualified for the position. What were you thinking recommending her?”

Rey didn’t know what she was thinking in applying for the position. She quickly grabbed her purse off of the floor and walked out of Ms. Netal’s office. She didn’t look back at the woman as she walked swiftly out of the office.

Back to her life living in her tiny apartment. Back to her life waiting on ungreatful customers who barely tipped her.

She received a text from Kylo later that night letting her know that he would see her on Thursday and was glad that she went to the interview.

Rey wasn’t sure what to make of that text. She knew they had more qualified candidates so he probably didn’t want to tell her that she was immediately ruled out.

Wednesday seemed to fly by as she was only counting down the moments until she would see Kylo again. She knew it may be one of the last times as she had to force herself to break the news to him. She was out of funds and couldn’t continue to pay him.

He had brought her a lot of comfort and she was sleeping better lately. The nightmares weren’t as consistent as they had been. She still occasionally saw Armie in her nightmares but this time she didn’t always run towards him but rather tried to turn her back on him. She saw flashing images of him / kissing another woman and then appearing alone besides Rey.

Thursday morning Rey ran into Dopheld on her way into work. He grinned at her and eventually sat down at a corner booth before ordering a coffee.

It didn’t shock Rey that he asked her out again. She politely declined and explained that she needed to be alone at this time and was still grieving her fiancee.

It wasn’t a lie but she didn’t want to be alone. She wanted to date and she wanted to smile again with someone by her side. She just didn’t want that someone to be Dopheld Mitaka.

She wanted that someone to be Kylo. If only he wanted her too.

Thursday evening came and Kylo was on time as usual. He walked in and threw his coat over the back of a kitchen chair.

Rey had been sitting on the chair next to that chair wringing her hands nervously. Trying to go go over in her head what to say to him before he came in.

“We have to stop seeing each other”, she blurted out as he sat down next to her.

He frowned at her, “Umm Rey, what does that mean?”, he asked.

She took a deep breath before responding. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean we had to stop seeing each other like we are in a relationship. I know that we aren’t. I just meant that I don’t have any more money to pay for the cuddling services after this week. You’ve been so helpful to me and I am so glad that I met you. I will be sure to refer your services to all of my friends”, she explained before shifting her eyes to the floor.

Rey looked up at him and thought that his eyes looked dark for a moment before he smiled at her. “That is understandable Rey. I understand about the money. I know that money is tight for you right now. “, he paused and looked at her and she met his gaze.

“It doesn’t mean we have to stop seeing each other though”, he responded. "Just not in the same capacity. We'd have to change our dynamic".

Rey wasn’t sure what he meant by 'change our dynamics'. She was too scared to hear his answe. What if he just meant as friends? She didn't think that she could see him as 'just a friend'. She wanted more then that from him.

“Should I call you Ben instead , since that’s your actual name”, she blurted out.

Kylo smirked at her. “You are acting like Kylo is my stage name or something. Its my nickname, Rey. All of my friends call me Kylo. I just go by Ben Solo for professional purposes.”, he assured her.

“Please keep calling me Kylo. I like the way you say my name in bed”, he stated.

A hot blush creeped over Rey’s cheeks. She let out an embarrassed giggle.

“Ok I will keep calling you Kylo then”, she said.

Rey offered him some tea. They drank their tea is silence until he asked if she was ready for bed. She nodded and went into her bedroom to change while he went into the bathroom.

He came out in a pair of flannel pants and a black V neck Tshirt. A strand of his hair had fallen in front of his eyes. Rey thought he looked sexy. She had tried to block out his attractiveness before. She had felt guilty for thinking about another man over Armie.

She quickly sank into his embrace in her bed as their bodies san comfortably into the mattress.

Now she wasn’t going to allow herself to feel guilty anymore. Kylo was an attractive man. He made her tingle all over when he touched her, even if it wasn’t in a sexual manner. She wanted him when he held her close to him and wrapped his arms around her.

His erection told her that he wanted her to.

Rey closed her eyes and thought raced in her head preventing her from sleeping.

She had one more night with him and she needed to know. The question that she had for him had been burning on her mind.

“Have you ever dates one of your clients before?”, she asked. She thought that question was more tame then the one that she had wanted to ask.
“No Rey, I haven’t ever dated a client before”, he responded, pulling her close to him.

She breathed deeply, inhaling the woodsy scent of his cologne with a hint of cinnamon. She stilled in his arms and leaned into him.

It was now or never.

“Have you ever done anything sexual with any of your clients, paid or otherwise?” , She asked.

Kylo entwined his fingers with his as he squeezed her fingers. “No sweetheart, I have never done anything sexual with any of my clients”.

This information brought some reassurance to Rey but also she wasn’t sure if that No also meant the door was closed for her.

“Would you with me?”, she quietly said as the darkness engulfed her and she was met with silence.

What seemed like hours stretched by before he responded almost in a choked whisper, “Rey…I can’t..we can talk about this later ok”.

Rey stared out into the darkness of the room, with only a stream of light shining through her bedroom window.

She breathed calmly and was embarrassed at herself for asking him. She had never been that straightforward with a man before. She didn’t think she would ever broach the topic with him again even on her last night with him.

Chapter Text

Rey heard a light commotion in her bathroom and opened her eyes. She stared up to the ceiling and was engulfed in darkness. She perched herself up on her elbow and sat up. She saw a stream of light coming from under the bathroom door.

She turned her head and glanced at the alarm clock next to her bed. She ran her hand on the spot on the sheets where he had been sleeping beside her. She ran her fingers down the large indent where Kylo had laid on his side of the bed. Rey scolded herself for designating a side of the bed to just Kylo.

It was 4 am. She wondered if this was the usual time that he left her. He wasn’t there in the mornings. She didn’t know when he left only that he was gone once she opened her eyes to the blaring 7:30 am alarm.

His was on the right side of the bed. That had been Armie’s side previously. He rarely had hugged her though. Typically she’d wake up alone in the morning and find him asleep on the couch. Armie would make some exuse that he couldn’t sleep with her snoring all night. Rey had never been told that she snored before so she thought it was a lame excuse.

Armie rarely pulled her in close to him. He’d turn his back to her and rest like that. Rey wasn’t sure how long he would lay next to her before retreating to the couch. She never asked him. She always felt it was strange at the time that he didn’t want to spend the whole night with her It made a lot more sense when Finn explained that Armie had been seeing Gwen Phasma.

Rey thought that not spending the whole night with her was his way of pulling away from her.His way of cutting off intimacy even if he hadnt cut off sex entirely. Rey had'nt noticed it at the time as she thought that they were happy and without significantissuesin their relationship. For months before he passed away, he had'nt kissed Rey or held her hand. He had'nt snuggled with her after sex or stroke her hair.

Kylo did hold her tight and press himself against her but she rationalized that was his job Afterall. He never stayed the whole night with her either.

Sometimes Rey wasn’t sure what was more heartbreaking, her own fiancée leaving her in the middle of the night or this practical stranger who she felt a strong pull towards abandoning her side in the middle of the night because he wouldn’t go against his contract.

Every time she felt like Kylo may have feelings for her too she reminded herself that he wouldn’t be there in the morning, which meant that he must see her like every other client.

She knew that he wouldn’t have a designated side for much longer. He wouldn’t be sleeping with her once he was no longer her cuddler.

The right side of the bed’s sheets would no longer be warm from his body heat. They would feel cold and stiff, and Rey would feel lonely again.

The bed was small and the mattress was so worn down that Rey felt most of the springs grinding against her back when she laid flat on the twin bed.

She was surprised that Ben never complained but she reasoned that he most likely had a larger more comfortable bed at his place. That he only tolerated her shitty, uncomfortable bed because she paid him to. The first week they had tried sleeping on her pull out couch but that mattress was even thinner and Rey felt like she was sleeping on a sleeping bag inside a tent rather than in the comfort of her own place.

Rey heard the water running from the sink. She heard his footsteps of his bare feet on the ceramic tile.

The doorknob slowly turned and Rey crashed back onto her side and pulled up the covers tightly to cover herself up to her neck. She squeezed her eyes together tightly to make it seem like she was still asleep.

The bathroom door creaked open and Kylo walked out. Rey didn’t dare to look at him.

She heard some rustling on the edge of her bed. She surmised that he must be getting dressed and ready to head out back to his own home. She wished that he could stay longer. Just a few hours longer.

She longed for the day that she would wake up in his arms and not alone. She told herself that was a silly dream that was just not reasonable of her to expect. Of course he wasn’t going to stay the night. He had fulfilled his duties. He had lulled her to sleep in his arms.

She heard footsteps on her side of the bed and heard those footsteps stop right in front of her. She felt his breath, warm and tingly tickle her cheek and then she felt his lips, soft and wet on her forehead.

She blinked and her eyes flew open in surprise. He had kissed her before he left. Had he always done that, she questioned or was this the first time that he had done it?

She stared at Kylo’s startled face, “Rey, you need to go back to sleep. I’m sorry for waking you. I tried my best not to startle you”, he said in a hushed voice.

Rey took a deep breath, closed her eyes and breathed in his cologne and his shampoo. Even the scent of fabric softener on his clothes. She tried to hold on to that scent for as long as she could.

She blinked a few times and reached out her hand and grabbed his arm, “Stay with me through the night”, she pleaded.

She wanted him there beside her to chase the nightmares away and to offer more forehead kisses.

Kylo took a step back and Rey lost her grip on his arm, her arm flopped on the side of he bed.

He sighed. “You know I can’t do that Rey. Its not what we agreed to. We have a professional agreement. It’s a signed contract. I cannot keep stepping out of those professional boundaries. I can’t stay the entire night with you.”

Rey choked back a sob before again reaching out for his arm and getting a tighter grip around his wrist.

“Lie to me..tell me you will stay. Just stay until I fall asleep but till me that you will stay all night. I want you to stroke my hair and kiss my forehead again while you tell me you will stay”, she whispered into the darkness.

Kylo squeezed his eyes tightly while he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to her forehead again.

He shook his arm slightly and Rey released her grip on him. He then reached out and softly stroked back the stray hairs that had fallen on her forehead.

She could feel his eyes staring at her. She couldn’t make out his expression bu she imagined that his eyes were stormy. She knew what he was about to say.

He was going to reject her request. He wouldn’t lie to her again. Kylo was a lawyer, he was by the book and by the rules. He made the guidelines of his cuddler contract and Rey knew that the chances of him breaking those guidelines were slim to none.

The last time he had lied and told her that he loved her had filled her heart with joy even if it was for a fleeting moment of happiness.

She realized that he didn’t love her and that he told her that because she had asked him to but a part of her still grasped to that hope that what he was saying was true, that he actually did love her.

“Rey, you know that wouldn’t be right. Come on Rey you know that wouldn’t be right. You will only be disappointed in the morning when you wake up expecting me to be there and I am gone. I don’t want to give you false hope”, he stated.

Rey started sobbing uncontrollably. The tears started flowing down her cheeks. She wiped fruitlessly at the tears that were rolling down her cheek with the back of her palm.

She let go of his arm and rolled onto her side and curled her body into a fetal position. She covered her head with her arms to try to block out her view of him.

“Ok then, just go then. Don’t worry about tomorrow night. I am letting you out of your contract early”, she chocked out between her sobs.

“Just go. Leave. ..Just Leave”, she said quietly as she shut her yes tightly, trying to stop the flow of tears.

Kylo sat at the edge of the bed and reached out and his fingers brushed her lower bare back where her tank top had ridden up.

Rey jerked her back forward stiffened her posture upon his touch.

“Rey, is that what you really want?”, he said gently.

She sniffed and wiped her tears with her hand again.

It wasn’t what she wanted. Not at all. She wanted him to actually stay with her for the night. She didn’t want him to leave her alone. She wanted him to actually want to stay the night and actually love her and not to lie about it.

She would take the lie over the heartache and loneliness though. The lie soothed her to sleep if only temporarily.

“I just wanted you to lie to me and tell me that you will stay the night. You..you lied to me before and told me that you love me what I asked you to say it..why can’t you lie this time. Why is this time different?”, Rey moaned.

She took a deep breath before answering.

“No, its not what I want but it doesn’t matter what I want. You are just going to leave me anyways after pretending to care about me just like Armie did”.

Rey heard Kylo’s breath catch. “I am not him Rey. I don’t want to lie to you. You don’t deserve to be lied to only to pacify your feelings for a moment “.

Rey was surprised when he didn’t ask her what Armie lied about. She thought that he just clearly delineated himself from Armie or just didn't want to ask..

He reached out and stroked her hair as she continued to cry with her arms wrapped around her folded up knees.
Rey could hear his breath steady and the thud of his sneakers as he kicked them off and they landed on their sides on the carpet.

Rey felt his body collapse back onto the bed. She felt the covers lift off of her ody and cover his and she once again felt warm in his embrace as he wrapped his arms and legs around her body.

Kylo signed and leaned in to kiss the back of her head before his head thudded bac onto the pillow beside her.

“Alright, I will stay with you Rey”, he conceded.

Rey knew in her heart that his embrace was temporary. That he was playing along with her request so that she went back to sleep.

She could imagine though, imagine that he would stay the entire night and that calmed er down. Her sobs eventually shifted to calm breaths. Her eyes felt heavier again and she closed her eyes.

Kylo felt like her security blanket. She eventually just focused on getting back to sleep and let the darkness envelope her.

When Rey opened her eyes to the Sunshine pouring through her blinds, she opened her eyes and blinked a few times. She thought she caught a glimpse of a pale arm draped over her chest. She thought that she must be still dreaming, she must still be asleep.

She shifted her body and moved against a solid, chest. She felt body hear radiating against her back.

She felt his breath on the shell of her ear and felt his chest rising with every breath that he took.

Kylo was still there, asleep in her bed with his arms wrapped firmly around her body.

He had kept his word and had stayed the night with her.

Rey inhaled deeply, glanced at the alarm clock, seeing it was 7 am and closed her eyes once again. She wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass her by. She wiggled her body and angled her body lower into his arms. She was going to enjoy every  last minute in his arms as it maybe the last time that she would ever get to experience it.

Chapter Text

Rey continued to pretend that she was sleeping even after she heard the springs creek on her mattress as he got up from the bed.

She really wanted to say something to him. She wanted to ask him why he stayed but she didn’t know if she was ready to have a conversation after what she had said to him the night prior.

In a way she was ashamed of herself for begging him to stay or at the least lie to her and tell her he was going to stay. She was embarrassed that she had threatened to cancel their last session that they had. She wasn’t sure if that session was still going to happen.

She was glad that she had the courage to tell him that she couldn’t pay him for their cuddling sessions any longer though. She wasn’t sure how he would react to that information. If he acted indifferent she thought that meant that he didn’t care about her anymore than any of his other clients. If he showed any emotion such as concern, sadness, empathy or anger she would know that he saw her as more then just joe schmo client.

However, she wasn’t sure how to take his reaction to her begging. He gave in, he stayed the night. However, Rey wasn’t sure quite why he broke his own rules. She wasn’t sure if it was more then just sympathy for her. Poor Rey, who had lost her fiancée and then learned from her supposed best friend that her fiancée had been seeing another woman. It was a double betrayal, Finn knew all along and didn’t tell her and Armie, who she thought loved her may have not even planned on going through with the wedding.

Rey felt unlovable. She mourned the wedding she never had. She mourned not having someone to show her genuine and unconditional love. She wanted that experience more then anything.

She peeked at him with one eye open and caught Kylo staring at her as he was pulling up his jeans over his hips.

He gave her a half smile. “Good morning Rey”, he greeted. He leaned down to grab a pair of sneakers that were lying on the burnt orange carpet underneath her bed.

Rey sat up and propped herself on one elbow and sheepishly smiled at him.

“You stayed”, she said.

He nodded at her. “I did.. I stayed and now I have to go”.

“Would you like some breakfast, I have some cereal or maybe I can cook you up some eggs?”, she asked as she sat up all the way, the sheet dropping from her shoulders into her lap.

Kylo shook is head, “I can’t Rey, I have a court case at noon today and I have to get half way across the city to grab my suit and change and then drive up to the circuit court building.”

“Uh well maybe just something to go then? I have some granola bars and canned pineapple juice. I can grab them if you just give me a moment.”, she stated as she stood up.

“Thanks for the offer Rey but I am good really. I will grab something when I am at the office. I really can’t be late. We’ll talk later I promise”. He told her.

She didn’t want him to leave without giving her some type of explanation of why he stayed.

Rey’s strap of her tank top slipped down her shoulders as they slumped in defeat of him rejecting her offer for breakfast.

She watched his back as he walked out of the apartment.

She thought that him offering to talk about it later is a good thing. That meant that he at least would speak to her again, maybe come to the last appointment that night. Rey wanted to stay positive and she wanted to see hope at the end of the tunnel.

Rey tried to not think about Kylo as she got ready for her day and for her shift. She took an extra walk around the block before she got into work. She also silence her phone and tried to will herself not to check for messages from Kylo.

She knew that she needed to be able to forget about him, get over him. She may get another night with him but after that there wouldn’t be anything between them anymore.

Rey ran into Finn as soon as she walked in the door of the café. She hadn’t bothered to pay much attention to her appearance before she went into work. She had thrown her hair into a messy bun and had splashed cold water on her face and applied chap stick.

Finn looked her up and down and stopped to stare at her face. “There’s something different about you today. Its almost as you are glowing”.

Rey let out a huff and a laugh. “I just rolled out of bed this morning Finn. I just got more sleep then usual but that’s all that is different”.

Finn stared at her eyes again and then dropped his eyes to her neck. He looked past Rey to where Rose was standing at the far back corner of the café. She was taking an order from two older men sitting in a booth. Finn leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You are red all over Rey..did you get laid? Did Mr. Grumpy pants cuddler finally pull his head out of his ass and wake up?”

Rey immediately felt a warm flush creep up from her neck onto her cheeks. She choked before finally getting out the words, “No Finn..I did not get laid as you crudely put it. Its not like that with him. He’s completely professional. He holds me for a few hours and then he leaves. Its no more then that.

Rey wasn’t ready to tell the whole truth to Finn but she didn’t feel like she was lying to him. Kylo had indeed cuddled her and left but it happened to be all night long and into the early hours. But there wasn’t sex involved so she wasn’t telling a lie when she said he held her and left.

“No Finn”, she said in a hushed tone. “I have not been intimate with him. What do you mean by him finally waking up?”

Finn waves his hand in the air. “That man looks at you like you are a shining star in the night sky. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”, he admitted.

Rey rolled her eyes at him and headed towards the kitchen, “Don’t be ridiculous Finn. He acts completely ambivalent towards me. He is nice to me as I am sure he is nice to all of his clients. He makes time for me because I pay him to. Our relationship is nothing more or nothing less than transactional”

Rose came in to the kitchen through the other side of the cafe. “I heard that Rey, transactional my ass. You’ll see Rey, one day you’ll open your eyes and let someone into your heart again. Hopefully its Mr. Tall brooding and handsome but if not someone else that makes you feel safe and beautiful”.

Rey scoffed and Rose’s comment. “Rose, Kylo is not a romantic option for me. I wish he was. He does make me feel safe and my confidence has soared but he barely speaks to me when we are together. I don’t know what is going through his head half the time. One moment I think that there’s a spark between us and the next he’s shut down again.”, Rey explained.

Rey ran over to her first table of the day and was busy for the next few hours until she took her break four hours after arriving at work. Several o her regular customers pointed out her natural smile and glow as well.

She went in the kitchen and sat in a chair in the small managers office in the back and looked at her phone. She had a message. It wasn’t from Kylo though, it was an unsaved number.

Rey played the message and was shocked that it was a voicemail from Bazine Netal asking her to come into the office for a second interview. She mentioned that Rey would meet the partners at that interview. She was going to interview with Kylo.

Bazine had told her that Kylo recommended her but she wasn’t sure what he had stated was her connection to him. She knew he wouldn’t say, “Oh she’s a client of mine from my cuddle buddy side hustle”. She wasn’t sure if she should say anything at all about how they knew each other but would rather wait and let Kylo lead the conversation.

She quickly called the Office back and an appointment was set up for her to come in on Monday. Three more days.

Rose walked by and noticed Rey staring blankly at her phone. “What's up Rey? Why do you look like you just lost your puppy?”

Rey bit her bottom lip and chewed on it nervously. “I have an second interview for the paralegal position at Kylo’s law firm. I just set it up for Monday.”

Rose raised her eyebrows and smiled at Rey. “That’s fabulous Rey. I wish you the best of luck. Its not that we won’t miss you around here but you are made for the paralegal job. You were much happier in general when you were working at the last law firm”.

Rey smirked at Rose. “ Yeah, well don’t get too excited. I haven’t interviewed yet and there is no guarantee that I will get the position”.

Rose winked at her, “Oh I don’t think you really need to worry much. This man has set you up with an interview at his firm. He obviously wants you to be closer to him. He’s not going to fumble the ball now”.

At that moment inn walked in to the entranceway in front of the office, “Did I just hear a football reference”, he asked smiling.

“Can I tell him?”, Rose asked.

Finn raised his eyebrows. Rey shook her head. “I will tell you later Finn. My break is almost over anyways and there were at least 10 customers in the dining area when I walked in here.”.

Finn grinned, “Ok Peanut. I can’t wait to hear your news. I’m assuming it has something to do with the person that has you glowing all day today”.

Rey smacked him with a dish towel that she picked off of the stove earlier. “We aren’t talking about that right now. I promise I will fill you in soon”.

Rey walked back into the dining area and headed to one of the tables to hand the couple sitting at the table their check.

Later on that night after she had eaten dinner and changed into a tank top and grey cotton pajama bottoms. Rey was sprawled out on her couch watching a Netflix movie and stuffing her face with microwave butter popcorn when she heard her phone buzz.

It was already past 10 pm and she hadn’t heard from Kylo. She assumed that he wasn’t showing up. After all she had told him not to come. She had given him a free pass not to see her again. Which with her upcoming interview didn’t feel possible anymore.

She hadn’t fixed her hair, it was still piled into a messy bun with a claw clip. She had put on some lip gloss and mascara in the off chance that he did show up.

Rey looked down at her phone and only saw a single line

The text read: ‘Open your door’

Rey got up off of the couch and made her way to the door. She opened the door to find Kylo on the other side with a bouquet of pink tulips in one hand and a bottle of Moët & Chandon champagne in the other.

He was grinning at her. Rey rolled her eyes from his chest up to his face. He was wearing a navy pinstripe suit and cranberry red silk tie. His raven black hair was slicked back behind his ears. His ears protruded out just slightly. Rey stared at a freckle on his earlobe.

He handed her the bouquet of tulips and placed the champagne bottle on the kitchen table.

Rey held the flowers and inhaled their scent. She looked up and him. “Why flowers tonight?”, she asked.

“Its our last cuddle night tonight and I wanted to get you something special. I saw you have several posters of tulips or tulip gardens in your bedroom and I figured that tulips were a good choice”

Rey realized that Kylo had been more observant then she thought that he was. It was true that she loved tulips, especially pink tulips. Armie had traveled to museums all around Europe and brought her several posters whenever he found one featuring tulips.

“Thank you”, she whispered as she turned to go hunting for a large enough vase to fit the flowers under her kitchen sink. When she found a suitable vase she displayed them in the center of the table.

Rey waved a hand towards the champagne, “Are you trying to get me drunk tonight?”, she teased.

“Save the champagne for now. We can use it to celebrate with later”, Kylo stated.

“What will be celebrating later?”, she asked innocently.

Kylo bit his bottom lip and smiled. “I have to have some Surprises, Rey. It would be no fun if I revealed them all tonight”.

Rey looked at Kylo curiously. “Tonight’s supposed to be our last night”, she said looking at him with confusion in his eyes.

He nodded at her. “For our Cuddling sessions, yes it is.”, he confirmed. Rey thought that he was going to say something else but he just placed his hand on her lower back and led her towards the bedroom. As she got closer to the bedroom he flipped the light off in the kitchen and went back to Rey, this time grabbing her hand and moving forward towards the bed.

Rey looked up at him and he looked down at her and smiled. “Shall we make the best of tonight. Is there anything different that you would like me to do tonight that I haven’t done before? Maybe a backrub or head message?”, he questioned.

Rey looked up at him. There was so much that she wanted to ask for from him. She wanted much more than just a back rub or a head message, but she knew that she couldn’t ask him for those things.

She thought about it and knew what she could reasonably ask for.

Rey glanced up at Kylo’s profile, “Actually, there is something that I would like.”

He nodded at her, “Just go ahead and ask me”.

Rey took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed as he stood in front of her. She exhaled and smiled at him. She knew it wouldn’t hurt to ask him to do what she was really yearning for him to do to her, but it may cause embarrassment.