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Dave is an art student for a local college, and life drawings are an important part of learning how to draw anatomy - he didn't anticipate developing a massive crush (bigger even than his crush on Lil Nas X) on the surly hot troll nude model for his classes. He also doesn't know how he is supposed to deal with actually meeting him at his part-time job as an apprentice tattoo artist with his older sister-from-another-star-system laughing at him, what the fuck Porrim. At least his other sister & kinda moirail Kanaya is there to get him ice-cream and play with his hair while he rambles about how hot Karkat's ass is.
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Every Friday since high school got out, they’ve met at this exact spot to then finish the walk to the track field to hide out under the bleachers and shoot the shit until it’s almost dark. Mostly to try and stave off boredom or their friendship going stale. A little bit, at least on Karkat’s part, because he has a massive crush on Dave Strider.
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or Karkat has a massive internal teenage angst party bc the boy he has a crush on might be leaving in a year -
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This is a re-edited version of Hot Disaster Dumbass Factory optimized for Text-to-Speech.
Section titles have been turned into headers (with tags) for easier navigation, special characters that broke Text-to-speech have been removed, some spellings have been changed to correct Text-to-speech errors, and typing quirks that alter pronunciation have been removed.
pesterlog formatting has been slightly altered for better understanding of who is speaking when chum handles are the same letters.
For the visually oriented version of this fic click here
Series
- Part 2 of Hot Disaster Dumbass Factory
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With the help of Dirk, Dave escapes Bro by getting into a college way the fuck away from Texas, but they both know that won't be the end of it.
Dave has some baggage, but misery loves company and Sollux is a disaster. A disaster deep in rivalmance with the reigning hot mess herself, Roxy Lalonde.
For the version of this fic optimized for Text-to-Speech click here
Series
- Part 1 of Hot Disaster Dumbass Factory
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5 Times Dave and Karkat call each other husbands when they aren't married and the 1 time they are by karkatbug for chthonicArcher
Fandoms: Homestuck
28 Apr 2024
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Dave and Karkat accidentally practice the art of faking it till you make it.
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why do they call it cabin when you cab in the woods of out eat hot the troll by chthonicArcher, landofchaosandbloom for Biouxp
Fandoms: Homestuck
21 Apr 2024
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Oh. Oh shit. The guy—a troll, maybe in his mid-twenties, short and tired-looking—isn’t really what you had expected. You stare at him in silence, and he stares back, and oh god this is so awkward.
“Motherfucker,” he says, breaking the uneasy silence. Somehow, despite the clear exhaustion written on his face, every single syllable overflows with venom. “Double-booked. Are you shitting me?”
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Xefros is a rustblood troll near the end of his natural lifespan. His final pilgrimage before death is to set coordinates for Earth and meet with Joey Claire one final time.
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Despite the teasing she's expecting, Kanaya decides to attend a knitting group.
Series
- Part 34 of Camp NaNo April 2024 Drabblethon
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If you went way back in time, how would you prove to your partner that you know them? Would you live through everything again or turn the tide? Cats or dogs?
Or, in which Dave rewinds time and Karkat doesn't remember him at all.
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JAKE: You didnt know?
DIRK: I kind of just rode in on my badass steed, so I’m gonna need the lowdown here.
On a quest bequeathed to him from some late paternal asshole, Dirk (and Dave, begrudgingly), arrive at the charming little town Silverdale. Unbeknownst to them, this town is not as peaceful as it seems, and they are quickly dragged into a much larger ordeal than either anticipated.[currently on hold indefinitely, unfortunately.]
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Since when does being twins mean you have to play imposter, huh?
At least it gives you the free excuse to fuck with his co-worker that he totally has an embarrassingly obvious crush on. He may not buy the ruse but that's not gonna stop you from meddling. -
lol pick up your stuff on time and nobody needs to touch it dude by landofchaosandbloom for chthonicArcher
Fandoms: Homestuck
26 Jan 2024
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a.k.a. the epic highs and lows of doing laundry in an apartment complex with shared machines
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Dave is following the plan, living on borrowed time until he can do what a big brother should and get everyone the fuck out of their terrible lives and start living for real. Until then, it’s really not the right time to be anyone’s soulmate. Hopefully the people on his skin won’t have any conflicting plans. Dirk also has a plan, to be actually useful to his big brother no matter what it takes, something that will definitely not have any unexpected consequences at all.
Series
- Part 31 of It's the end of the world as we know it
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There Is Nothing You Can Do That I Have Not Already Done To Myself by grapessoda
Fandoms: Homestuck
16 Jan 2024
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basically Karkat crashes to earth to escape the empress and has to pretend to be human as he hides but ofc it can't be that easy and he gets into all kinds of situations along the way (I'm bad at summaries just read the fic)
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*recovered from hand injury, new chapter coming soon!!!*
"You bewitch me, Every damn second you're with me, I try to think straight, But I'm falling so badly, I'm coming apart"
Where an obsessive musician learns how to compose.
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Karkat's route of a multi-route fanfic.
Series
- Part 2 of Alternate Escapism
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You and your roommate Karkat have a somewhat typical Friday night. Things get a little muddy and all of a sudden you have to work through your feelings.
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You and your moirail leave a bar and stumble upon a passed-out burgundy. Against your better judgment, you and your moirail haul his ass into your apartment, where he claims to be freshly from Alternia. Moments later, three more people barge in.
All of this shit, and you still have class in the morning. College fucking sucks.
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Xefros, Dammek, and Joey, are 18-19, and Jude is about 14 here. Writing is hard, updates are slow. Peace and love on planet earth -
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Soulmates are a special thing on Alternia.
On Hivebjenti, where everyone knows everyone, if your soulmate is an Alternian, you're safe from prying eyes, but if not... Well, gossip is one of the Alternians' favorite pasttimes.
When Karkat runs into Dave Strider, son of the eccentric Texas millionaire Derrick Strider, and his hair starts to turn an eyewatering red, he curses the universe for letting this happen to him.
Dave seems unaffected, but being his soulmate draws Karkat into a web of controversy and political attention that he's not quite prepared for.
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- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 657
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 5