Chapter Text
Tommy always liked the rain. He enjoyed waking up on dreary days with the birds lightly chirping outside and the light breeze cool on his skin through the window. Tommy awoke on Sunday morning to the light sound of birds and rain out his window. He fussed with the blankets a bit before sighing and sitting up. He had plans today.
The blonde swung his legs over the edge of the bed, rubbing at his face. He stretched his legs out and winced, he’d fallen asleep in jeans last night. Wrong choice.
Getting up after sleeping in jeans wasn’t the most comfortable decision, but it was also the quickest. So Tommy got up and walked over to his closet and picked out whatever seemed the most comfortable. It wasn't really like he had anywhere major to go today, just hanging out with friends, so he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a red hoodie with white strings.
He walked into the bathroom to change, setting his clean clothes on the counter as he undressed. He brushed his teeth but didn’t bother with his hair, the rain would mess it up. He paused as he looked in the mirror. He was quite pale, an unusual amount of pale for him. Scars littered his body, some new some old. His eyes were a dull blue, almost gray. He ran his fingers lightly over some of the more recent scars on his arms, taking note of the bumpy feeling and wincing at the slight pain it brought. He almost got lost in looking at them, but he quickly shook it off and put on his new clothes, taking his old ones and throwing them in the hamper in his room before grabbing a jacket and rushing downstairs.
As he was walking downstairs, he could hear Wilbur and Technoblade talking. When he got down to the first floor he could see Techno in the living room packing a backpack. He must have tutoring today.
As he turned to the kitchen, he could see Wilbur making cereal. Milk first… The fucking heathen.
“Don’t you have anything to do today besides pestering me?” Techno questioned the brunette.
“No, which is why you should take me with you.” Wilbur took his bowl into the living room and sat next to Techno’s bag.
“I can’t take you with me, you have no reason to be there and the kid’s already having anxiety about working with me,” Techno responded cooly. He was good at that, staying level when Wil was annoying.
“Okay, but you can at least take me to get a coffee.” Wilbur insisted.
“Nope.”
“BUT YOU’RE EARLY!” He continued to beg, and Tommy winced at the yelling.
“And I intend to not be late.” Tommy looked at Techno as he zipped up his bag.
“YOU’LL BE ON TIME!”
“Being on time is just as bad as being late.” Tommy grabbed the piece of toast that was left on the counter for him. He never knew who left it, but he assumed it was Phil.
“YOU MAKE NO SENSE!” Wilbur called as Techno walked to the door. Techno merely shook his head and slipped on his boots, zipping them up.
“Both of you have a good day.” Techno nodded to Wilbur and Tommy before leaving the house, shutting the door behind him.
Tommy watched through the kitchen window as Technoblade opened the door to his black Prius and stepped inside. Tommy always liked Techno’s car, the car was old so the seats were worn and used. Some people would say the seats were too soft, but Tommy thought they were quite comfortable. Especially in the summer when the car was heated nice and warm- overall, Tommy really liked Techno’s car.
o0o
After eating his piece of toast, Tommy grabbed a Coke can out of the fridge, it was the last one, but he was the only one who drank them. He went over to the doorway before slipping on his tennis shoes, opening his can, and heading out the door.
As he walked, he plugged in his headphones and played music. He was heading into the city today, he needed a new journal and then he was meeting up with Tubbo and Ranboo at Bad’s Cafe, but that wasn’t for a few hours so he had plenty of time.
Tommy decided it was in fact, a nice day out. It wasn’t raining hard, but it was lightly sprinkling and it was cloudy, so that was a double win in his book.
He stopped at the bridge over a river just before the first few outer streets of the city, it was just a pretty sight. The water wasn’t moving too fast, it was moving just slowly enough that you could see the rocks beneath the surface. He thought the water looked like it was sizzling with how the light rain hit it.
Tommy continued his walk into the city when his music switched songs. He wasn’t listening to anything rough or “edgy,” he was listening to Animal Crossing songs. Sue him, he liked them.
o0o
After about 15 more minutes of walking, Tommy made it to his favorite store on the planet. Karl’s bookstore. It wasn’t actually called that, but Tommy preferred to call it that. The owners were never really there anyway. (Though they were nice people, Tommy just preferred their son, Karl.)
The first thing Tommy heard when he took out his headphones, was the airy jingle of the bell on the door as he opened it. He smiled as Karl’s head popped up from his spot at the counter.
“Tommy!!” The brunette cheered.
Tommy always adored Karl’s shop, it had a nice calm vibe to it. Then again, the store matched Karl’s vibes. Karl always wore pastel colors, and he had this swirly hoodie that always made Tommy’s head hurt. But, it was Karl. Tommy liked Karl, headache or not.
“Ayup, big man!”
“Looking for anything specific?
Tommy walked into the store more, looking at the shelves filled with books, pens, markers, and stickers.
“Nothing specific, just a new journal. Old one’s filled, innit?”
Karl nodded along before spotting a bright yellow sticky note he stuck on the register.
“Oh! I was gonna show you the new shipment we got!” Tommy looked over at the counter before walking over.
“What is it?”
“We got a new type of book! They’re empty of course, but I thought you might like them! It’s filled with empty staff paper!” Karl picked up a box from the floor, lifted it to the counter, and pulled out a book from it. “See?” he opened it to the middle of the book, lines, and lines of empty staffs filled the pages.
“Oh my prime, I love those!” Tommy’s eyes widened and he carefully took the book to look through it. He flipped through the multitude of pages, smiling as he did. “How much?” He closed the book and sat it down on the counter before going to a familiar shelf and pulling out a typical red notebook.
“12.75”
“I’ll take it.” Tommy returned to the counter, pulling out his wallet to pay for both books.
o0o
After the bookstore, Tommy started another walk. This time, he was heading to Bad’s Cafe. He had about an hour to kill before meeting up with his friends, so he settled on walking to a nearby park to pass the time.
When he got to the park, it was practically empty. Most families don’t take their kids out on dreary days like this.
Tommy walked over to the playground, stepping up on the slippery steps until he got under the roofed portion of the playground. He just stood there for a moment as it started raining a little harder. It still wasn’t raining hard, but it was more than a drizzle now.
He stood there for a bit, he lost track of how long, but it was calming. The sound of cars driving by and the rain hitting the ground. The smell of rain was fresh in the air as he took in deep breaths. He tapped a slow beat on the plastic of the playground and closed his eyes. Moments like these didn’t come often, but when they did he cherished them.
The blonde opened his eyes when his phone buzzed, and when he checked it he saw it was a message from Tubbo that they were almost at the Cafe. Tommy sighed before stepping off the playground, careful not to slip. He began his walk to the Cafe.
o0o
By the time he got to the Cafe, his hair was soaked. Luckily most of the rain ran off his jacket, but some of it still wet his hood. It’s safe to say the warmth from opening the door to the establishment was very much welcome.
Once again a nice airy jingle rang through the air as Tommy opened the door. He was greeted with the sweet aroma of pastries and the warmth of Bad’s heater.
“Bye, Bad! I’ll be back later!” Tommy looked to the counter to see Sapnap exiting the door to the upstairs flats. He walked past Tommy as the blonde walked in.
Sapnap was adopted by Bad a couple of years ago. All Tommy knows about it was that Puffy was Sapnap’s social worker. That was actually how they met Sapnap.
“Bye! Stay safe! Don’t do drugs!”
“Dude the most he’s doing is weed, it’s fine,” Skeppy called from the door Sapnap had just come from.
“Still…”
Sapnap left the establishment and Tommy walked up to the counter, grabbing his wallet.
“Tommy! Hey, bud! How are you doing? The usual?” Bad turned to Tommy, red eyes smiling with his cheeks.
Tommy nodded, grabbing $10 cash and handing it to Bad. The man knew to keep the change.
“Coming right up.”
“Tommy!” The blonde looked over to the seats, seeing his brunette friend and his bi-haired friend sitting in one of the booths.
“Tubso! My friend!” Tommy outstretched his hands and walked over, sitting in the seat across from his two friends.
“Hey, Tommy.” Ranboo smiled behind his mask.
Tommy always found it quite weird how Ranboo constantly wore his mask, but if it made his friend more comfortable, he wouldn’t say anything.
Bad came by and dropped off Tommy’s hot chocolate with his chocolate-banana muffin.
“Enjoy!”
o0o
During the time Tommy had stayed inside with his friends, it had full-blown poured cats and dogs outside. The sound was extremely calming. So much so, that Tommy found himself zoned out, staring blankly at the wall. Tommy always liked Bad’s Cafe. The walls were covered in vines and fairy lights. There was a cat that always lay across the windowsill by the front entrance, when he asked Bad about her, he said they named her Clementine.
Tommy liked Clementine.
He looked around some more. The base paint of the walls was a light sunset orange. He liked that color, it was a big man's color. Kind of like his red.
“—mmy- Tommy! Hey bossman, it’s 5, we’re gonna head home, okay?” Tommy looked up to see Tubbo and Ranboo standing, he was still kind of out of it, so nothing really registered for a moment.
“Wait- 5? Fuck.” Tommy started and quickly stood up, adjusting his jacket as he walked towards the door. “I gotta go too- sorry- uh- I’ll see you guys at school tomorrow- Bye!”
Tommy bolted down the street. Phil’s gonna be pissed.
o0o
“I’m home!” Tommy called as he walked in the front door. The house was warm but it wasn’t as warm as Bad’s Cafe.
He took off his shoes and walked into the house a bit more before Phil spoke up from the living room.
“Are you home Tom?” Tommy looked into the living room. Wilbur was on the couch, eating cereal again. Freeloader. Phil was looking at the TV, clearly not too interested in the actual conversation.
“Yeah, just got back,” Tommy replied cautiously.
“Where were you?” Phil questioned, still not looking up, “Who were you with?”
Tommy tensed. He didn’t have to say everything, right? “Just out with Tubbo, uhm, at the cafe.”
Phil nodded, “And why were you out so late?” He looked up finally.
“We just got distracted!” He paused, before quieting down, “It won’t happen again, I promise.” He quieted even more, almost whispering at this point. “I’m sorry…”
Phil didn’t speak again for a moment, merely analyzing Tommy. The younger blonde was very nervous, hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He had a bag in his hand, but Phil didn’t question it, he must have brought something home from the cafe.
Phil nodded towards the kitchen, before looking back at the TV, “Don’t forget to do the dishes.”
Tommy simply nodded, walking towards the kitchen to do the dishes.
o0o
Tommy turned the sink off with a sigh, taking off his gloves and storing them behind the faucet. He grabbed his bag from the floor beside his feet and started his way upstairs. He heard Wilbur lightly speaking on his way up.
“He was clearly lying-”
Tommy went up to his room, locked the door, and took the books out of his bag. He ran his hand over the new cover of his red journal, smiling to himself in the process.
He stood by the door for a moment longer before going over to his desk and crawling underneath it, prying up a familiar old floorboard.
Inside the small space held his life’s savings, a box of old notes he’s written to himself, and old journals. He pulled out the box of notes and inserted his new journal, reaching up and putting the staff book on his desk.
He looked at the box of notes carefully. Each of the notes was written during a really bad part of his life, a part of his life that he never thought he’d get past. Suicide notes. That’s what they were really, and that’s the fucked part, innit? To not kill himself, he would write notes to loved ones about why he wanted to kill himself.
He sighed and put the small container back in the hole, moving the floorboard back and pushing it into place.
Once he was sure it was sealed, he took off his jacket, throwing it on the desk chair before falling face-first into his bedsheets, exhausted from the day’s events.