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The Bargeman of Dixing (being a variant account of Shen Wei at the Pillar of Heaven and what happened thereafter )

Chapter 27: I Have Missed the Sun, Redux

Summary:

happy endings

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Shen Wei knew where he was before he even opened his eyes. Incense and dust, ancient bedding, oil lamps burning to supplement the always-insufficient electric lights. Muffled footsteps on stone and tile. The murmur of voices echoing down long corridors, and the clank of ancient plumbing.

He had not missed this place.

He rolled his head to the side and saw the painted silk hanging on the nearest wall. He knew that picture all too well. It was a fanciful depiction of the battle which had ended the rebellion ten thousand years ago. Figures intended to represent Shen Wei and Ye Zun floated in midair above the ancient Yashou tower. Shen Wei's eyes were closed in the painting, and he wore the beatific smile of an enlightened Buddha, while Ye Zun's snarl exposed long fangs, his red face contorted and demonic. Both figures held flaming swords in very unlikely stances, while a Kunlun who looked nothing at all like Zhao Yunlan lounged in the clouds above. He was drinking wine from a jar twice the size of his own head, and his filmy robes draped open past his navel. The Hallows were orbiting around him, golden rays streaming in all directions.

Shen Wei had been granted this suite when he arrived at the Dijun Palace after his ten thousand years under the earth. It was so clearly intended as an honor, he had never been able to bring himself to ask for different rooms, or at least to have that wall hanging removed.

Knowing what he did now, he wondered if the Regent had been mocking him all along. He closed his eyes, rolling his head to the other side. The cover on the pillow under his head was brittle with age. When he opened his eyes again, he found Zhao Yunlan was sitting cross-legged beside him on the bed.

"Good morning, beautiful. Is that supposed to be me half-naked with the wine jug? Just what sort of stories do they tell about Kunlun around here anyway?"

Shen Wei smiled ruefully. "I spent many long hours looking for information about Kunlun in the Palace archives when I first arrived." His voice was rough, the memories still difficult even with his Zhao Yunlan right here. "I soon found that the record had been so liberally embroidered by poets and artists that almost no trace of the historical Kunlun remained." He glanced back at the silk hanging. "Although I would not have complained had you chosen to dress so. There were many things that surprised me about the mighty warlord Kunlun, but I never failed to notice your great beauty."

Zhao Yunlan threw his head back with a shout of laughter. "Likewise, my love, likewise. How do you feel?"

"I am fine. How did I get here?" He pushed back the covers and started to sit up, but a spasm of pain stole his breath.

"Ah, no sudden movements!" Zhao Yunlan chided. He adjusted the blankets. "The healers say you will make a full recovery, but you have been neglecting your health. That was my fault even before I told you to banish the Regent, and gave that bastard the opportunity to stab you! First I let myself get snatched by the Hallows, and then I didn't duck out of the way of Ouyang-jiaoshi's steel claws, so all this time you have been taking care of me instead of healing yourself. The very least I can do now is ensure you get proper rest here in Dixing."

"But you are just out of the hospital yourself!" Shen Wei exclaimed in concern. "It is not good for your continued healing for you to spend too long in Dixing."

"See, and I knew you were going to say that. Here is the answer I have planned while waiting for you to wake up: once you are strong enough to get out of that bed and take me home to Haixing, I will allow you to do so. I suggest in the meantime that you continue to rest. The healers all agreed that was the fastest way for you to recover."

"But what is the situation in the streets?"

"Celebratory! An Bai has a leader's instincts. He has called for open meetings between the ministry and the public, and more to the point, he has opened the palace stores and begun distributing food and dry goods. The Regent had quite a stockpile."

"And your father? Zhao Yunlan—"

"He's fine! He scolded me for returning the Hallows to Dixing without government sanction, but he disavowed any knowledge of what Zhang Shi had been planning."

"He cannot expect you to believe that he did not know Zhang Shi was gone."

"He claims they only agreed to bodysnatching poor Xiao Guo in order to keep an eye on the SID."

"And he knows of the Regent's death? The changes in the Dijun Palace, the renegotiations that will be necessary for so many things—"

"Yes, yes to everything. He's not happy about it, but the Bureau has only two choices now. They can join Dixing in creating a framework for a profitable partnership, or they can allow smuggling and undocumented immigration to continue. Dad will come around, so stop fretting. Everything is fine or will be soon enough for the first time in years. In decades—centuries really! Just rest. If our positions were reversed, you would remind me that resting means an easy mind as well as a relaxed body."

"I am sorry I could not spare the Regent," Shen Wei whispered. He was not sorry the old man was dead, but he would have done almost anything to avoid disappointing Zhao Yunlan and his precious dream of peace. "You are right that it was an inauspicious beginning to our new era."

Zhao Yunlan winced and sucked air through his teeth. Shen Wei reached for him in dismay. He had failed to live up to Zhao Yunlan's ideals again.

But Zhao Yunlan caught his outstretched hand and folded it carefully back under the musty bedding. "That is the second time you have apologized to me for executing Dixing's greatest criminal after he put a knife in your chest."

"It was indeed an execution, not a fair fight. Although the Regent was more ancient than Dixing itself, he was not a warrior. I might have subdued him without killing him."

"Shen Wei, stop. You did the right thing."

"You have told me many times that I am not a weapon, but the Heavens have made me the slayer of immortals, of children, and of my own family. What else could you call me?"

Zhao Yunlan leaned over and cupped his face. "You are a man. A sword does not grieve for the lives it has been compelled to take."

Shen Wei closed his eyes. Opened them at once, because Zhao Yunlan was so close and so dear. He smiled at Shen Wei and brushed the hair off his forehead. "How long had you known?"

"Known...?"

"About the Regent. Did you know he was the Bargeman all along?"

"Ah. No. I saw the resemblance of course. Despite the passage of centuries, I never forgot the face of the man who betrayed Didi and me for a little dried food and a hairpin. But ten thousand years, Zhao Yunlan! I assumed he was a descendant, and I tried not to let my memories affect the way I treated him."

"Should've tipped him into a volcano," Zhao Yunlan muttered darkly. "Enough of this!" He swooped in for a quick kiss. "Are you hungry? Not yet? Well, I know you will take a cup of tea with me."

Shen Wei looked up into Zhao Yunlan's smiling face. He was so beautiful, and Shen Wei loved him so much. He felt himself beginning to relax, shoulders sagging back against the mattress in relief. He remembered sharing a sidewalk bench with Zhao Yunlan in the hazy sunlight, relaxing into perfect, peaceful contentment with this beloved man at his side.

That had been only a dream, but this was real. Shen Wei snaked one hand out from under the blankets and caught Zhao Yunlan's wrist.

Zhao Yunlan looked down, eyebrow lifting in gentle query.

"Will you help me sit?"

"Of course!" Zhao Yunlan slipped off the bed and turned back to ease one arm behind Shen Wei's shoulders. "Tell me if anything hurts."

The healing knife wound tugged in his chest as Zhao Yunlan helped him sit against the headboard, but Shen Wei welcomed the discomfort. It proved he was alive and that this was all real. "There we go!" Zhao Yunlan announced. "Comfortable?" He scanned Shen Wei's face with a touch of lingering anxiety in his eyes.

"Not quite."

"How can I help?"

"Come closer, my beloved."

"Oh!" Zhao Yunlan's face lit up. "OK, yes, I think I can manage that. Carefully now." He clambered back onto the bed and gingerly crawled over Shen Wei's legs, balancing himself with a knee on either side of his hips. He cradled Shen Wei's face with both hands and beamed down at him. "Like this?" he whispered.

But Shen Wei could not trust his voice. He only blinked up at Zhao Yunlan, hoping that he would not weep.

"Yes, I think so." Zhao Yunlan murmured for both of them. He tipped his head, mustache brushing Shen Wei's cheek, and then his lips pressed to Shen Wei's mouth, and Shen Wei's entire body arched in ecstasy. The wound in his breast thrummed with life, healing hot and red. A few tears of joy escaped when he closed his eyes, but Zhao Yunlan wiped them away with the side of his thumb and touched his lips to both wet eyelids before kissing him again, soft and open-mouthed. Shen Wei answered with lips and tongue, demanding more, and Zhao Yunlan laughed out loud into Shen Wei's mouth, never breaking the kiss.


"You are the first Haixingren to enter the forest of the Flower Clan in generations," Zhu Hong advised them sternly. "Govern yourself accordingly, Zhao Yunlan!"

"Why are you singling me out?" Zhao Yunlan protested. "When have I ever behaved inappropriately? Now Lin Jing here—"

"Ha!" Zhu Hong rolled her eyes. "Lin Jing is tractable and understands his place in the world. "

"I'm not sure whether I've just been complimented or insulted," Lin Jing murmured to Da Qing.

"We are all deeply cognizant of the honor Ying Chun is extending to us with her invitation," Shen Wei assured Zhu Hong.

"Well, I knew you would understand," she said. "But thank you, Shen-jiaoshi. I can trust you to keep an eye on Lao Zhao."

Chu Shuzhi smirked but held his tongue.

"Stay close to me and do not go wandering off. You will not find the path again in the ancestral Yashou lands."

Zhao Yunlan thought to himself that Zhu Hong had certainly gotten bossy since assuming leadership of the Yashou clans, and he smiled. It suited her.

"Yes, Hong-jie," Guo Changcheng piped up obediently. He had one hand fisted in Chu Shuzhi's black robe. He wore a leather gardening glove on his other hand and carried a bale of pine needle straw. Lin Jing was toting the second bale, eager to prove he was fully healed. It had been months since the attack in the lab. Long enough for his hair to mostly grow back, so probably he was fine. Nevertheless, Zhao Yunlan had exchanged a glance with Chu Shuzhi when Lin Jing claimed the bale. He would be keeping an eye on him as they hiked in.

Zhao Yunlan would be watching Shen Wei. No hardship! He watched Shen Wei whenever he was near. And Shen Wei was not likely to have any difficulty hiking into the Yashou forest today—he wasn't even carrying a bale of pine straw.

The visible injuries had long since faded, but in Zhao Yunlan's eyes, Shen Wei was still much too angular. Cheekbones, jaw line, hips, and shoulders were blade sharp, and far too often the eyes under his dark brows were bruised by unvoiced sorrows.

But if he should happen to notice Zhao Yunlan watching him, the resulting smile was always as radiant as the sun or the Guardian Lantern itself. "Zhao Yunlan," he might say, savoring the name like a confection. "It is sometimes hard for me to believe so much happiness is real." And if they were alone, Shen Wei always allowed himself to be reeled in close. Not infrequently he was the one who reached for Zhao Yunlan, reassuring himself with a fierce embrace and passionate kisses.

So, all right, Zhao Yunlan still worried, but as long as Shen Wei allowed himself to accept comfort, Zhao Yunlan could do the same.

He dropped a hand on Shen Wei's shoulder. "Nice day for a walk in the woods."

Shen Wei turned his head and treated Zhao Yunlan to another of those breathtaking this-is-real smiles. "Yes," he agreed. "But the occasion is so joyous I would hardly mind if it were pouring down rain."

"Speak for yourself," Da Qing muttered, loud enough to be overheard. Zhao Yunlan shot him a glare, and he put his fingers over his mouth. "Um, with respect, Heipaoshi."

Shen Wei chuckled, which was such a sweet, rare sound that Zhao Yunlan had to stop himself from giving him a kiss right then and there. He contented himself with squeezing the bony shoulder under his hand as Shen Wei said, "Do not worry, my old friend. I am also glad it is not actually raining today. "

In fact, it was a gorgeous early spring day. There was a slight chill in the air that Zhao Yunlan ceased to notice once they were underway. Zhu Hong had been quite correct, Zhao Yunlan could see no trace of a path beneath their feet, just fine layers of decomposing leaf litter that muffled the sound of their footsteps. The canopy of old growth trees was still bare as empty rafters overhead, and shafts of sunlight shone down between the broad trunks.

As they walked, the brown and gold of tree trunks and sunlight slowly came to be interwoven with hints of green from the sparse undergrowth. "Step with care," Zhu Hong directed them sternly. "This is a nursery, and the children of the Flower Clan are all around us."

"Oh!" Xiao Guo's eyes grew wide as he looked around the forest. "Chu-ge, we are so fortunate to be here in the spring. I would not have missed this for anything!"

"Idiot," Lao Chu growled. He sounded very happy.

The light ahead grew brighter and at length they found themselves at the edge of a glade. The new grass was brilliantly green, interspersed with yellow daffodils and the nodding heads of tiny pink and purple tulips. In the center of the meadow, Ying Chun and Ya Qing were sitting on cushions at either side of a low table and sharing a pot of tea. It was a lovely scene except for the way the sight of Ya Qing still made Zhao Yunlan tense a bit.

Shen Wei's hand touched his back. "She is our ally," he murmured.

"I know. Old habits," Zhao Yunlan answered quietly. 

"Zhu Hong," Ying Chun said with a lovely smile, rising to greet them. "Welcome, and thank you for bringing our friends to see us."

Zhu Hong bowed. "We are all honored by your invitation."

"It is a joy to welcome the authors of our current peace to our land. Lord Guardian, Heipaoshi. You have kept your promise and delivered peace to our world."

Zhao Yunlan bowed his head. "Ying Chun, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this invitation. Everyone here has sacrificed to secure our present tranquility. And Ya Qing, I am glad to see you as well. You are truly as magnificent as ever!"

She narrowed her eyes and gave him a slight, sardonic smile. "Lord Guardian."

"But where is the guest of honor?" Zhao Yunlan turned on his heel, admiring the splendor of the early spring meadow under a cloudless blue sky. And then, "Oh." 

Zhao Yunlan felt an awful stab of mingled grief and anger. Really, Ying Chun ought to have warned them. He groped blindly for Shen Wei's arm and held on tight. Dammit, he had thought this would be a happy moment for him, and instead they found the brave little Yulan Xiao like this. 

Despite the mound of black loam carefully banked around him, the little Magnolia Yashou was only a sere twig. Zhao Yunlan swallowed hard. He'd seen firewood kindling that looked more lively. He held his tongue until he was sure he was not going to snap at Ying Chun for not warning them that this was a funeral, much less yell at Ya Qing for the Crow Tribe rebellion which had made this poor child's sacrifice necessary. He would not damage these precious new alliances with angry words in his grief.

But before he could say anything at all, Shen Wei stopped him with a look and said, "I fear the Lord Guardian may be laboring under a misapprehension, Ying Chun. This is too early in the season for a deciduous magnolia to leaf out—is that correct?"

She blinked in surprise. "Yes, of course. It will be six weeks or more before his first leaves appear." Then realization struck and she exclaimed. "Oh, I am sorry! I forget that not everyone has the senses of the Flower Clan. I suppose you do not even hear him singing."

Zhao Yunlan looked back at that unprepossessing stick. "Singing?"

Ying Chun knelt and laid her palm momentarily on the ground at her feet. A tender smile spread across her face. "Oh, yes. Many deciduous Yashou begin singing as the sap rises in the spring. When Yulan Xiao began to sing we knew you would share our joy and our relief."

"Oh, I wish I could hear Yulan Xiao's song!" Guo Changcheng burst out. "We have brought pine mulch to cover his roots--may we spread it now? Then perhaps he will sing of how soft his bed is!"

"Yes, child," Ying Chun agreed, "That is a lovely gift." She directed them in spreading pine straw across the bare loam as though swaddling a child in blankets. Da Qing circled in cat form, watching with a critical eye.

Zhao Yunlan crouched down next to him and scratched his head. "Can you hear the singing?"

"Are you kidding? He's yammering on like a black drongo bird. I can't believe you couldn't tell."

"You might've said something, damn cat. Can you tell what he's singing about?"

Da Qing snorted. "Can you tell what the black drongo on our balcony is banging on about at five in the morning?"

Ying Chun interjected, "Yulan Xiao is not yet awake so he sings without words. I can tell you that he sings in celebration of warmth and rain and sunshine, and yes, Guo Changcheng, of the comfort of his soft bed as well."

Shen Wei asked quietly, "Is he aware of our presence?"

"He knows that he is surrounded by peace-loving and happy folk. It only increases his joy."

"Then I would ask leave to address this brave son of the Flower Clan."

"So formal, Heipaoshi!" she said with a gentle laugh. Her eyes were very soft. "Please go ahead. I know that he will recognize you even in his springtime dreaming."

"Noble scion of the Flower Clan." Shen Wei bowed formally before the little sapling. "We owe our present happiness to your courage and self-sacrifice. You saved the life of the Lord Guardian, and Dixing will never forget. I will never forget." His voice wavered a bit and Zhao Yunlan immediately stepped up.

"Likewise, Haixing will not forget the debt we owe Yulan Xiao and all the Flower Clan! You gave shelter to both me and to our beloved Hei lao-ge, and like him, I will never forget."

To Zhao Yunlan's surprise, Ya Qing stepped forward next. "You have the eternal thanks of the Crow Tribe as well," she announced, head up and voice clear. "Child of the Flower Clan, your quick thinking prevented me from making a terrible mistake. Know that the Crow Tribe will honor any boon you request of us." She turned to Ying Chun. "With your permission, sister?"

Ying Chun nodded, eyes suspiciously bright, and Ya Qing produced a small obsidian talisman carved like a feather, dangling at the end of a silver chain. She hung it with care from one of the magnolia's branches. "I wish you a beautiful spring, little one, and many more to follow."

Guo Changcheng burst into tears. "Chu-ge," he whispered noisily, "I am so happy!"

"As are we all," Ying Chun agreed. "Please say you will join us for tea. Unless you have obligations that require you to return to Dragon City now?"

Zhao Yunlan put his hand on Shen Wei's shoulder. "Thank you. The SID has pressing responsibilities in town—but nothing so urgent that we cannot spend time with friends and allies on a beautiful spring day." He turned to look at Shen Wei. "Does Brother Black agree?"

Shen Wei reached for the hand Zhao Yunlan was resting on his shoulder and clasped it in his own. "Thank you," he said in a low voice. "Yes, we should stay for a while if we may."

Then he lifted his face to the sun, fingers tangling with Zhao Yunlan's, and he smiled.



Notes:

By this time last year I had written a few thousand words of an alternate, angsty version of Shen Wei at the pillar of Heaven (as if the original was not gloriously angst-ridden itself… but my fandom appears to be what if we take what was already agonizing and make it even WORSE for Shen Wei—bonus, anything that makes Shen Wei suffer makes Zhao Yunlan suffer even more), when Dasha sent me this YouTube video about the proto Indo European figure of the ferryman—a fun romp through the history of an unimaginably ancient character and the changing way humans have conceptualized death across the globe and across millennia, with bonus insights into my own North American evangelical god-haunted culture. Whew. I've been running my whole life.

Anyway, what did I take from all this for my story? that the Regent keeps complaining about how really old he is. I think my greatest gift as a writer is my ability to trivialize ANYTHING.

But thank you, Dasha, for the spark that lit 90k words, and for your encouragement and for showing me how malleable canon can be in the right hands; thank you Excellency for being my sounding board for more than a year. And this truly would not have been finished without SEF who asked almost weekly if the new chapter was ready yet, and time and again was the impetus for writing a few more paragraphs that really did finish a chapter. And then she copyedited the work as well as it spilled out in cheerfully ever-expanding puddles of prose until it was a veritable (mourning) sea. (I need hardly mention that the remaining errors are mine, gleefully added afterwards.)

Thank you for reading. I hope it was fun.