Chapter Text
We all got back into Chuuya’s cherry red convertible as he started the roaring engine, completely disregarding Dazai’s peculiar actions just moments before. Dazai wouldn't explain, and it would make the atmosphere awkward. Mission completed, Dazai sent an email to Mori explaining what the newly deceased informant explained as his cause for the deceit. His reasoning simply being envy for the Port Mafia’s power.
Chuuya put his car in drive and whisked us away, wind plowing through me again, sitting in the same positions as we arrived in.
“What's gonna happen to all the bodies?” I turn my head left to ask.
“I sent some subordinates to clean them up, we are done for the day.” Chuuya excitedly replies.
“Oh good, I'm starving.” Dazai adds from behind us, prompting me to turn my head.
“Let's go eat something, we don't have to go right back to HQ, do we?” I say out loudly, as the wind pressure is rather defeating.
“We don't, so yes, we can go out for food.” Dazai calmly replies.
“I know a perfect place.” Chuuya announces, taking a sudden right which slides me down as I smack the car door.
I forgot to strap my seatbelt on.
Chuuya’s car suddenly speeds greatly, with the wind blowing through me, and fresh air invading my lungs, I release a breath and sit back, leaning my head against the seat and tilting my head up, while shutting my eyes closed. Chuuya turns on the radio, and blasts music while dashing and weaving through streets. The sun shining onto us.
We end up on a street accompanied by the coast, and I turn my head left to view the ocean. The waves swing back and forth rapidly, crashing near rocks. The beaches were crowded and kids were playing in the ocean. People in bathing suits and shorts flocked the streets, in a mantra of colors. On my right were rows of shops and cafes. The weather was not hot, however moist and a little humid.
I suddenly felt out of place, in my dark coat and tights. I look over at Dazai and Chuuya, who are also dressed very wrong for the beachy area we are in. In truth, I’ve never once swam in the ocean. I know how to swim, and have been plunged into the middle of oceans to sneak into armed boats for missions, having to wait underwater for minutes. However, I've never relaxed on the sand, with a popsicle, and jogged into the water to enjoy it. Thinking of the ocean to me, is freezing water in latex suits and guns strapped under them trying to weigh me down. It's sneaking onto yachts to assassinate billionaires per my orders.
“Chuuya I think that thug hit your head a little too hard today, we have specks of blood on our clothes and dark coats. Why would you bring us here, so everyone can stare at us while we eat?” Dazai abruptly asks, teasingly with a huff.
I mentally agreed, but decided to back Dazai up, “Yes, no offence, but we are very out of place.”
“You two have absolutely no faith in me.” He pouts, “First of all, no thug hit me you asshat, those buffoons couldn't even get near me.” He directs at Dazai, protecting his pride, “And secondly, take off your coats and roll your sleeves up, my friend owns a cafe here and it has good ass sandwiches.” He instructs, as he slows the car down and swerves into a parking lot next to the sidewalk overlooking the sand.
“Whatever you say, Chuuya.” Dazai jokes, stretching out Chuuya’s name at the end. He slides his coat off, but does not roll up his sleeves, as the bandages around his arms probably cover them up anyway.
I do not know what's under the bandages wrapped around Dazai, or if his eye has been hurt. However I doubt any mere man could fight Dazai and win, to the point of damaging his eye. I've a feeling Dazai’s eye bandage is more of a symbolic gesture, like a protection to himself. Out of all the things I've learned about the infamous Dazai, is that his true self is hidden under many layers of facades and deceptions. He must feel strongly about the notion of eyes being gateways to one's soul. I sense the bandage on one eye is to extra protection of his hidden true self, thoughts and soul. A bandage on one’s eye, also obstructs how much one can see, which leads me to believe Dazai has a truth he does not want to accept. As someone who is constantly killing and fighting, blocking your eyes is a disadvantage, so he would not carelessly obstruct his range of view. So Dazai’s truth, which he cannot accept, is something he does not want to see either. As much as Dazai lies to others, he must also lie to himself.
I've always been gifted in understanding and analyzing others, an irony as I can barely understand myself, but this talent has led me to read everyone around me. Dazai and I’s mutual agreement, which we have never officially made but both oddly understand, of trying to break apart the other’s mind, has led me to hyperfixate on his psyche. Dazai has a truth he cannot, or slightly can but does not want, to see, and uses his bandage to obstruct how much he can see, to sway away from this inevitable truth. What this fearful truth is, I haven't a clue. But it is something Dazai does not want to accept. He further uses his bandage to no only obstruct his own understanding, but those of others, and hide his true self away under his layers, and further from prying eyes like myself.
As I conclude that his reasoning for an eye bandage is symbolic and not physical, I turn around to take a look at his wrist and neck bandages. As much as those may also be symbolic to further protection of himself from the world and people’s touch, they must also be physical. Yes, this man has joked about sucide to me on multiple occasions, and never once did I believe he was serious. However now, thinking of bandages wrists and necks, he must indeed have attempted suicide before. Lifting my gaze from his bandages so as to not draw attention to my observation of them, I look up at Dazai as a whole.
This is the first time I've seen the brunette without a thick long coat, and only in a blouse. The bandage on his eye does little to take away from his beauty. He had also taken off his black vest to appear more casual. The man is indeed slim, but there are muscles on his shoulders and upper arms that are visible. He truly is sculpted so heavenly. His muscles are prominent but slim, with a nicely crafted collarbone. He is tall as well, but does not give a stick look. As my eyes roam around his chest, I see his hands. Long slender fingers messing around with the top buttons of his white collar, carefully undoing the top one. His fingers are slightly boney, but not in a sickly manner, in an ethereal one.
“Like what you see?”
Dazai’s sudden sultry voice caught me entirely off guard, and a slight flinch shook through me, prompting me to quickly raise my line of sight to his face, and single visible eye. He had a calm expression but a slight smirk. My eyes widen slightly, looking for an adequate explanation of my starring, and I open my mouth to steadily reply, with a gulp before hand.
“I-”
“She was probably thinking about how hideous you are!” Chuuya’s husky voice cut me off, and I turned to face him instead.
Chuuya’s comment significantly diffused the tension, and as I wasnt scrambling for an explanation my thoughts quieted down, leaving me to hear how fast my heart was beating.
Giving a small relieved smile, I was calmed down.
“Yes” I sheepishly replied with a humorous smile, “I was thinking just that.” I say turning to Dazai, with his same smirk, and sliding my jacket off. Leaving me in a long sleeved dress that had a low but not scandalous collerline, tight around my waist but flowey on the bottom, and tights underneath. I was still definitely not dressed properly for the beachy area, but it would do.
~~~~~
The next two days passed in a similar manner. As Dazai’s subordinates tailed potential victims to hopefully catch the serial murderer lurking near one, Dazai, Chuuya, and I carried on tasks given to us by Mori. He no longer called us up to his office for instructions, and just relayed tasks to Dazai. Unlike our first one however, and much to Chuuay’s dismay, it was multiple tasks day and night. Even though I'd known them for so short, I grew rather comfortable with the two during these missions. We worked well and usually went for breaks to eat afterwards together.
Chuuya had explained that Mori doesn't not usually overwork them like this, but since we would have been basically having day’s off while waiting for the killer to strike, he's been using non-threatening but tedious tasks to fill up our down time.
On the second night of this tedious work, when I got back to my hotel, a telephone was waiting for me. This was my instructed use of communication with the Legion. Before I was sent here, I was told that a wired telephone would be waiting for me after three days to relay any information I learned. I had to be using a land telephone and not a regular modern cellphone, so the call could not be intercepted. I dialed Bill’s number that night, and sat on the fluffy bed of my hotel room.
“This is agent 68.” I said
“(L/N)- It's Bill, tell us everything you've learned and witnessed.”
“It's nothing unusual. They deal weapons overseas, I do not know with whom. They also have strong ties to the government, and control the cities. I've been sent on tasks to steal items, usually technology or jewelry that once belonged to them. A few times I had to rough up some people. Most of these are expected tasks of a mafia.” I had replied
“Tasks?” He asked and added, “You were sent as a P.I not an addition to their ranks.” He questions.
“Yes I know, I've been instructed to find a serial murderer but was sent to do some things in the meantime, don't worry, I haven't revealed my trained fighting skills to alert suspicion, only techniques I could easily explain knowing. I’ve also been asked to stay here longer since the Boss wants to utilize my ability.”
“Good. But you haven't learned anything very significant? Any information on higher up members, their boss?”
I paused for a second, thinking about my newfound coworkers. Chuuya was a nice person, and nothing I said about him would be useful. Dazai was unlike Chuuya, peculiar and had exchanged more words with me, but his personal beliefs and situation was something I don't think would be useful to my boss either. And though I have been deceiving them, I felt it wrong to indulge in who Dazai is, and his few vulnerabilities Ive been able to figure out. I’d really feel like betraying him. That night, a new concern of mie, was why it hurt me to think of betraying them that way.
“No, nothing.” I’d said.
“What about abilities, have you learned the abilities of any one powerful there? We have reports of some executives' names, but not their information. Have you come in contact with Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara, or Koyo Ozaki? ”
“Yeah I-” Suddenly I could not continue that sentence, realizing that no one outside the mafia was truly aware of Dazai and Chuuya abilities, or who they were besides names. I found it very odd that I was trusted with so much information about them, and had realized that the information was precious. Surely, Mori would have been more cautious with an unknown P.I who just marched into his empire. I have not yet met Koyo Ozaki, but I have a feeling I would sooner or later.
Dazai and Chuuya had so easily and quickly told me their abilities, had trusted me with the information so soon, and quickly turned from strangers to someone I could call friends. I don't know what came over me, but my next words had haunted me all night.
“No.” I said.
“Really? Nothing, ya hadn't even met them yet?”
“I briefly met them, but only for the case, we didn't talk further.” It was as if I had been possessed, as if someone had taken over my body and replied to my boss. Even after contemplating my decisions all night, I wouldn't be able to explain why I had said that.
“Bill?” I had asked.
“Yeah (L/N)?” He replied softly.
I had known Bill since I was 12, he was my overseer. He taught me most of what I know, and went further to educate me in the ways of society, not just what I read on paper or was taught in the training room. I don't have any parents, but the man has a very slight fatherly role in my life. It might be my mind trying to substitute the lack of parental guidance with him, or he strived for me to see him in that light, but I had a more platonic relationship with Bill than just agent to boss.
“This serial murderer, I learned that he has been draining people of blood. And every person he has killed so far was regular civilians who all had abilities. He wants their blood. I was just wondering, do you know anything about this? Perhaps the Legion might be aware or have him on their radar, it's just rather odd.” I questioned him, hoping he would help me out to finish this case and return.
My lies I just uttered were in my head, confusing me and putting feelings in my heart. I never felt this way in the states, never felt so much, and it concerns me. I wanted myself to return to my previous state of being I was in only a week earlier, and that was in the Legion’s headquarters.
Bill, to my surprise, did not answer for about 30 seconds. He was silent and finally uttered,
“No, we don't know anything.”
“I see.” I replied.
“It's late there, right kid?”
“Yeah, it's night.” I said, seemingly realizing he was probably now alone in the room, and being more casual with me. Any other higher ups must have left since I had no information to give.
“Then get some sleep, you seem to have been working around the past few days. Don't forget to eat too.” He said.
“I will.” I say, trying to be casual with him as well.
“The phone will be gone tomorrow when you get back, but It'll be back in another three days.”
“Got it.” I say
“Okay then, Goodnight - (Y/N).”
“Goodnight.” I say softly.
The line ends and I put the phone down, drowning in my thoughts at what It’d just done. I got no sleep that night, tossed and turned in thoughts of what I found out. Information and abilities of the members, executives especially, and even their faces was unknown but very valuable. No one who had fought Dazai and Chuuya, and witnessed their abilities was left alive to spread the word. I don't understand why I was trusted with the information, and why I kept it from my Boss. I am already betraying the mafia with my deceit, so why did it matter to me if I relayed their trusted words. These questions filled my mind all night. My concern was why my chest felt tight when I thought of truly betraying Dazai and Chuuya. It then led me to the thought again, of why I was sent here. Why did the Legion need specific information?
It was now not only a matter of the Port Mafia, why did they need information on executives?
Why Koyo, whom I have not met?
Why Chuuya?
Why Dazai?
~~~
My phone call and thoughts last night carried on today as I stepped into Chuuya’s bright office and headed straight for his lounge chairs, dropping onto them, tired from my lack of sleep. Chuuya and Dazai, who were both sitting on the table in the middle, turned to face me simultaneously, with puzzled and humorous looks. I usually give a greeting and good morning, but was unable to do either due to exhaustion. I'm used to working day and night vigorously, but with the relaxed state I've been in these past few days, it's no mystery that my body craves it more.
“Tired (Y/N)-chan?” Dazai amusedly asks, tiling his head and shifting his chair to face me.
“Very.” I softly say, looking at him in return.
“We finished the mission early though, you should have had enough sleep?” He adds again, his voice concerned but amused as well.
“Well I did not get an ounce of it, I was up all night.” I truthfully say.
“Why? Did something happen? Are you okay?” Chuuya voices, genuinely concerned and not amused. His caringness is something I've come to admire about Chuuya.
“Oh no not at all, I've been well. I was just thinking too hard and my brain did not shut off.” I quickly say, waving my palms.
“I'll go get you some coffee then, you always have to be alert in this line of work.” He softly utters, getting up and putting his hat on.
“Thank you Chuuya-kun; I’d really appreciate that.”
“Anytime.” He says as he flashes a smile and walks out of the office, probably to a coffee shop.
I lean back into the chair, trying to distract myself from thinking. But, I'm still in utter turmoil with myself over my conversation last night. In all honesty, my whole trip here so far has made me do things that are very unlike myself. It's as if I’ve gone on auto pilot, lacking my usual control on my thoughts and actions.
“As usual you're always thinking in that head of yours (Y/N)-chan. But I don't think Ive ever seen you so distressed, what's on your mind now? Maybe you could share the burden with me.” Dazai suddenly speaks up, again in a light tone but now highly threatening.
He's trying to get a read on me.
“It's trivial, I wouldn't want to bore you.” I say with a smile, questioning my foolish decisions to protect this man’s information.
“I see, well all in good time.” He says.
He then stands up and walks over to the lounge chair next to me, and takes a seat. He leans his elbows on his knees and looks up at me, as his slightly hunched form has made me a little taller. “You’ve been keeping up well these past few days with our tasks. But I need to ask, how did a private investigator like yourself from - San Francisco - learn to fight like this. Your stamina is very high and you keep a rational head in all the situations so far, (Y/N)-chan. You use guns very well, and no this wasn't mere practice once a month, you handle them too well… I saw the way you hit that thug, on our first task with the informant, you hit his pressure point without even looking, and knocked him out.” He says now leaning up and crossing his ankle over one knee.
Though my facial expression did not change at his words, my mind was now spinning.I couldnt look him in the eye and looked down. I underestimated Dazai greatly. As much as I've been observing him, he’s been observing me tenfold. My mannerisms, my stances. He probably has many more observations he has yet to voice to me. This new revelation combined with last night's conversation is making me highly uncomfortable. I felt hot, too hot, and my head started aching. I don't know what to say, how to cover for this, but incompetence is not an option.
“I told you I was an orphan, I grew up by myself, learned some things.” I say, with a steady voice.
“I'm not here to accuse you (Y/N), but I need to let you know.” He says, while getting up once again and walking back to his seat by the table in the middle of Chuuya’s office, his dress shoes making noise on each step he takes, “I know you are not just an investigator. And as much as you want to know why Mori-san assigned you to team up with Chuuya and I, I do too.” He says as he takes his seat facing me, not taunting or threatening, however just stating his observation. “But, I need your compliance to figure it out.” He concludes.
At this, I decided my best course of action to deal with Dazai Osamu.
“Then we will figure it out together.” I say, not seeing the point in continuing my facade. He already knows. What he does not know is who I am, and who I work for, which is something I will strive to keep hidden. “I've only met Mori-san five days ago, but I know his intentions won't be easy to find out.” I add.
Dazai smirks at my words, glad I caught on to what he was insinuating, “But we’re a good team, you’ve already read me more than I'd liked you to, and I know I’ve read you. Besides what was that American saying.. Keep your friends close - but your enemies closer.” He says, grinning and crossing his legs.
“Dazai-kun, won't you be disobeying Mori-san if you sneak around to find out his intentions? If you know I'm not only an investigator I don't doubt that Mori-san knows exactly who I am.” I coolly say, when in reality I was surprised by the turn of events.
“I’ve known the boss since I was young, he is well aware I'd find out sooner or later. I want to know how this benefits him. He won't see it as disobedience if I do what I’ve been tasked in the meantime, he knows I won't betray him.”
“I see.”
“So, (Y/N)-chan, work with me, secretly, once we both learn what we are striving for, you can be my enemy again.” He says with eyes that convey excitement. “I don't make deals like this very often.”
“But you want to know more than I do. I want to know Mori-san’s intentions but you want to know who I am. I won't be telling you that.” I say, crossing my legs.
“Don't worry about that, I can figure that much out on my own.” Dazai replies, in that sultry voice I've come to know.
“What will happen when we are enemies again?” I ask.
“That depends on you, belladonna. You came to us with certain intentions - which I assure you - I will figure out. I am in the Port Mafia, so I will prevent any harm from coming to it, regardless of the perpetrator.” He declares. “But do know, you will be disobeying any superiors you have by doing this as well.”
“You needn't worry about me.” I remarck.
“Then… our temporary partnership will start right now.” He declares.
“It seems so.” I replied, still baffled at all the new revelations.
I don't know if what I’d just done was a foolish mistake that will ruin my mission, but this situation was a favorable one to being killed on the spot under suspicion. I'm well aware Dazai had the option to simply pull out his gun and put a bullet in my skull, but he did not.
He now knows I am not simply a P.I, and with this, I am certainly aware Mori knows exactly who I am. It appears Dazai is aware that Mori knows who I am, and he wants to know why.
How my arrival and newly found connection to Dazai and Chuuya will benefit the Port Mafia, when I am here to deceive it, is the question we both will now work together to answer. Dazai desires to know my real occupation, and what Mori’s plan is; I desire to know Mori’s plan as well as why I was sent here, and what the Legion wants with Yokohama.
I can't dwell too much on my conversation last night, and simply accept my foolish decisions. Leaving is no longer an option, and neither is returning to the person I was a week ago. I hope through learning Mori’s intentions, I can understand the Legion’s. I would not betray the Legion, no never betray them. But I no longer want to follow their command to the bone. I was sent here myself, and I will go about this how I see fit.
As our agreement comes to a close, the golden doors swing open and an unknowing Chuuya walks into the room, with a coffee cup in hand. Throughout this conversation, it seems I have forgotten about all my previous exhaustion, but I wouldn't mind the coffee.
He walks over to me and reaches it out, slipping into my hand with a warm smile. I give a genuine one back, overwhelmed with the warmth and calmness of Chuuya Nakahara. It's funny to me, that a man who so many fear and has taken so many lives with his own hands, is the kindest person I've ever met.
“Here, I got it sweetened. I know you don't drink it black.” He kindly says.
I look at the cup in my palm, with a true smile once again, “Thank you Chuuya-kun. Really.” I say.
“Don't worry about it.” He lightly says and sits down in the lounge chair that Dazai previously sat on. “So, what’d I miss?” Chuuya cluelessly asks.
I look over at Dazai with a grin, and he does the same.
“Nothing.” Dazai speaks up, confirming the question if Chuuya was to know, “I just got some bonding time with (Y/N)-chan, learning some things about her.” As he turned to me again humorously.
Before Chuuya could speak up, three knocks came at his door. Dazai and Chuuya turn to face each other with a questioning look, to see if either of them were expecting a visitor. When they both look as confused as the other, Chuuya calls out.
“Come in, it's unlocked.” He says, loud enough for whoever behind the door to hear.
The knobs turn and doors open, revealing someone I have not seen before. A younger boy, looking in his late teens, walks in. He has pale skin and black hair, with frosted tips. The man coughs into the elbow of his jacket, a long gothic one, with a white ruffled blouse underneath.
“Akutagawa.” Dazai’s voice calls out, and my body freezes in place with widening eyes, shivering. Not at the boy Akutagawa, but at the fearful tone of Dazai’s words, which had not an ounce of the warmth or softness it does when he speaks to me regularly. No, his voice was strict and harsh, cold. It reminded me of my mentors in the Legion, who trained me violently for weeks on end. The shiver was from the feeling I got hearing his voice, and remembering the days of that cruel training.
“Dazai-san.” Akutagawa says, in a youthfall but tense voice. A little muffled, like his lungs were full of smoke, “The suspect of the recent killings has been apprehended.”