Chapter Text
“Thank you so much Senator Amabill, we really appreciate your contribution to our cause,” Poe said as he escorted a tall, elderly Twi'lek woman back to her shuttle. He had to slow his pace considerably so that she could keep up with him on her feeble legs.
“Oh, it’s really no problem General!” She responded brightly, her large bug eyes magnified through her thick glasses. “My people will be relieved to hear that the negotiations went smoothly, and that we can resume with our harvest in peace.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Poe responded with a laugh.
Senator Amabill slowly boarded her ship, and Poe watched as it lifted off of the landing pad and sped up into the dazzling evening sky.
The moment he was sure that she could no longer see him out of the rear window of her ship, his smile dropped, and he took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair and cursing under his breath. His final meeting had been a nightmare, and he couldn’t be happier that the day was finally over. He went over his mental checklist, and concluded that he had at least eight documents to approve before tomorrow morning, and four planetary regulations to read before their next trip to Coruscant.
“Why shouldn’t we have another war you ask? Simple! It’s too much paperwork!” He growled to himself under his breath.
“Isn’t that the truth?” Said a voice behind him.
Poe turned around to see Leia standing behind him, also staring up at the sky where Amabill's ship had been.
“And since I fought in two wars, I get to do the paperwork twice.” She said with a small grimace.
Poe chuckled. “Not in a hurry to do it again I see?” He joked.
Leia laughed. “Not particularly.”
Her eyes softened, and she approached Poe slowly, putting her hand on his cheek. “Poe..” she said. “How are you doing with all of this?”
Poe knew she was referring to the whole Ren situation, and he paused, not quite sure how to answer. “I..I think I’m coming to terms with it.” He finally said. “I’m more so just going to miss Rey.” He admitted.
Leia gave him a sympathetic look. “It’s not going to be forever.” She said, “Once all of the planetary leaderships establish a stronger foundation, they won’t really need a ‘rebel alliance’ to manage all of this law-making anymore. We can spread out a little more, explore some new planets, maybe even settle down along the way.” Leia said with a smirk, lifting her hand to point at the rebel base below them.
Poe looked to where she was pointing and saw Zorii walking by the landing pad with Rose. His cheeks reddened. “General!” he spluttered.
Leia laughed. “You’re young Poe, you have all the time in the world to figure it out.”
Poe was still blushing furiously. Leia continued. “I just mean that even though it may hurt, Rey has to leave, but it doesn’t mean that you’ll never see her again. Everyone just needs some time to adjust after the war.”
Poe nodded glumly.
“And speaking of Rey,” Leia said, pulling out her watch. “I’m meeting her for dinner tonight, I should start making my way over.”
Dinner! In the haste of his shitty afternoon, Poe had completely forgotten.
“Actually, General, I’m going to dinner with Rey as well.” He said.
Leia looked up at him, surprised. “Are you?” She asked.
Poe abashedly looked down at his boots, suddenly embarrassed. “I..I talked with Finn, and he suggested that I’d be nice to talk to him without..y’know, screaming at him, so I just thought..” he trailed off, looking embarrassed.
Leia smiled at him approvingly. “That takes some guts, Poe.” She said kindly.
“I’m still trying to be positive about this,” Poe said. “I mean, I trust Rey and Finn when they say that he won’t hurt anyone here, but I just keep imagining that red blade, and it all just crumbles.”
Leia surveyed him with a long, stern look, and then looked out over the camp. “I wish that I’d had that much resolve when Rey told me she’d brought him back.” She said. “I knew what he’d done, I knew all the awful, terrible crimes he had committed, and I was terrified that I was going to open the door, and see a monster of my own flesh and blood.” She smiled sadly. “It almost reminded me of when Luke came back from the Death Star, claiming that Darth Vader had turned back to the light. He told me that Vader had defeated the Emperor, saved Luke's life in the process, and then passed away just as Luke was trying to get him onto an evacuation pod. Luke spent a lot of time after the war praising the story of Anakin Skywalker, and telling everyone he met about how he had chosen the light in his final moments. At first, I was mad at him. Very, very mad at him for what he was doing. We fought a whole war against Vader and the Emperor, and now I was just supposed to forgive the destruction of my home-world , along with thousands of my troops? You know what that feels like, Poe.”
Poe’s eyes filled with empathy. Of course, he knew what that felt like. He had friends on Hosnian Prime, he knew families that had lived there, and he understood the pain of having such an integral part of your life obliterated right before your eyes.
“I never understood how Luke could have any sympathy for Vader, at least until I was opening Rey’s door. I was expecting to see a cold-hearted killer, but instead, I was just met with the eyes of my son. He smiled at me..and..he called me ‘mom’ and I just-” Leia broke off, and Poe saw a tear trailing down her cheek.
He quickly stepped in front of her and hugged her, wiping her tears away. “I know what I should have felt as a Resistance General.” Leia choked. “But it was absolutely nothing compared to what I felt as a mother.” Leia took a deep calming breath. “I finally understood how Luke felt with Vader. Yes, he had done terrible things, but in that moment? Luke had his father back.” Leia laughed softly. “And now I have my son back. And I should hate him, I should. But..” Leia took another deep breath, her voice evening out. “I’ve chosen politics over my son once, I am not going to do it again. Remember Poe, whatever blame falls on my son’s shoulders, also falls on mine.”
“What do you mean by that?” Poe said incredulously. “He’s the one who turned against the Republic and destroyed everything you worked for. You literally just waged a war against him to stop him from imprisoning the entire outer rim. How are you in any way responsible for what he did?”
Leia laughed bitterly, “I’m his mother, Poe. You forget that Han and I raised him for eleven years before we sent him off to train with my brother. And to be honest, I was not a great mother to him.”
“What are you talking about?” Poe asked, refusing to believe Leia’s self-deprecating statement. There was no possible way that this kind, caring, nurturing woman in front of him was anything less than the best mother that the galaxy had to offer. He thought back own childhood, and how his parents would strike him for disobeying their impossible-to-follow rules.
I wish you were my mother , his mind whispered.
“No, it’s true, Poe.” Said Leia. “After Ben was born, I poured myself into creating the New Republic and its endless needs and necessities. I wasn’t home as much as I should have been, and that gave Han free reign to do whatever he wanted while I was gone, which mostly involved going back to his old smuggling runs. Every time I returned, there was some new issue for us to fight about, and poor Ben was often caught in the crossfires.” She looked up at Poe. “Neglect is more dangerous than you might think. It gave Snoke a chance to sneak unnoticed into his consciousness. I was so drowned in paperwork that I didn’t even notice a Sith Lord in my son’s head.”
“It..It couldn’t have been that bad.” Poe tried to reassure her.
Leia scoffed at him. “When he was about ten, he started having nightmares. His force abilities made them dangerous to be around. Objects in his room would start swirling around through the air, windows would break, lights would flicker,” Leia shivered. “He had a nightmare one night that was so powerful, he almost ripped our ship apart.” She bowed her head again. “I thought I was making the right choice in sending him to Luke. I never thought about how that would affect him. I never thought…” She dropped off, and hugged Poe tighter.
“I wish I had been a better mother.” She whispered. “It really is my fault, Poe. Snoke may have armed him with the dark side and given him troops, but I set the stage for the rise of Kylo Ren. I was never around to teach Ben compassion, and sympathy, and how to manage his feelings. The only thing I taught him was how to hide his pain better.”
“You were doing your best,” Poe said. “If it makes you feel better, I always saw you as a mother figure from the moment I joined the alliance. You made me feel heard, you made me feel like my opinion mattered.” Poe chuckled. “You grounded me. Literally.”
Leia laughed at this too. “You deserved it.” They stayed locked together for a while longer, until Leia stood up a little straighter and said, “We should get going, we don’t want to be late.” Poe nodded and let go of her. “Poe, thank you,” Leia said. “I consider you a son just as much as you consider me a mother. You were there for me when my own son was not, and you have continued to be here for me when he returned, even though I know you wish him dead."
"Not..not dead," Poe said. "I just...deep in those woods, is a man who can kill everyone in this base before we even have time to reach for our blasters. He has the skills, the knowledge, and the brawn to rip apart everything we've just built, and I'm just supposed to trust that he..won't? Again, I believe Rey and Finn when they say he won't hurt anybody, I just don't believe him ." Poe struggled to find the words he so desperately needed. "It's like..someone handing you a bomb that they swear is defused, but you won't know for sure until it goes off in your face and destroys everything around you. I mean-" He cut off, looking at Leia. "Is this making any sense?"
"No, it makes perfect sense." Said Leia. "But we also have a duty in this new age of peace, to set an example for what we want this galaxy to look like. If we set our goals out of revenge on the people who hurt us, that makes us no better than the First Order. Just because we make the laws now, does not put us above them." Leia turned to face him. "Poe," She said. "Look at me."
He did.
"What do you want people to value most in this galaxy?"
Poe's mind raced.
He thought back to being a child, and his father beating him with a leather whip while yelling at him to 'run those damn spices or you're sleepin' on the street.'
He thought of Finn saving him from the interrogation room with nothing but the uniform on his back and the desire for a better life than what he had.
He thought of Holdo, and her desire to keep him in the dark while she held the entire future of the Resistance in the palm of her hand.
He thought of Zorii, and her kaleidoscope eyes as she gave up her entire life's work to help their cause.
He thought of the millions of ships that had traversed the entire galaxy to come to stand with the alliance on Exegol.
He thought of Rey.
"Compassion," He began. "Empathy, understanding, and..." He struggled to find the last word. "Unity."
"So show them." Said Leia simply. "Show them that you hold the same values as they do."
"How?" Poe asked. "I know that I have these values, I just don't know how to..apply them."
"You just have to keep leading by example." Said Leia. "I know it sounds too simple to really be useful, but look at the First Order. There was hypocrisy, and double crossings, and betrayals at almost every level of command. If we go down the same path, we are doomed to repeat what they have done before us."
"Lead by example..." Poe repeated.
"Yes, Poe." Reassued Leia. "It's all we can do."
“General..." Poe said, completely lost for words. "I..I..Thank you." He settled on.
Leia put a small hand on his shoulder. "Come on, let's not keep them waiting."
Poe nodded, and they began to make their way to the mess hall, Leia's hand still on his shoulder.